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JUST NEEDED TO VENT...
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Oblic
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CloseHowdy RMN! It's been many months since I had time to venture to this wonderful corner of the internet. I really miss coming here and interacting with all of the other members and looking through all the new activity (right now I have over 1500 new notices! Doubt I'll go through them all...). I have so many things that I want to finish for people that I promised many, many months (if not years) ago, but for right now, I just needed to come to a safe place to let off some steam...
I have read some studies in the past that state that checking social media websites on a regular basis can cause you to become irritated, angry, depressed, etc. I RARELY check my Facebook account, mostly because I'd rather talk to people in a more private and personal setting. But, I just went through a couple of recent posts, and clicked on a few names... and then a few more. Long story short, after about a half an hour of clicking and reading, I wanted to dunk my head in a bucket of ice water. All it made me realize is how little I have done with my life in the past few years. I see all of these old friends from high school and undergrad doing all these really interesting things in interesting places, and I'm still stuck in grad school, jerking around trying to finish my MASTERS! I've been here for almost 4 years... most people getting their PhD. are done before that amount of time. I WILL be done by May, but it still took me YEARS longer than it should have.
Old friends and school aside, I happened to come across some of my old ex's... oh, how joyous that always is. I feel odd complaining about old romantic interests, but it really did get to me. Maybe it brought back older, happier memories, of times where I had something to look forward to on a bad day. Maybe I'm jealous that their lives are going much more smoothly than mine. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're happy; I just wish I could be smiling like them.
I feel so petty. I hate feeling so crappy when I compare myself to other people, because I know I don't have it that bad. I know it's all relative, but someone is always there to remind you that "there are people starving around the world that would take your problems in a heart beat." I'm aware of that fact. It doesn't change the way I feel though. All it really does is make me feel worse.
Another weird thing is, like I said earlier, I am very close to being finished with my masters, and I can't wait to get the hell out of here and move on with my life... but at the same time, I am terrified. I have no idea where I'll be in the next couple months. I don't even know if I'll have a job when I finish. I guess this is what it's like to "grow up"? Christ... that sounds so sad coming from someone that is 26.
Anyway, sorry to rant about a bunch of garbage and bumming anyone out that reads this. I feel slightly better, so I guess something good came out of it... Hope everyone out there is having a better time than me! Be back in another month or so to touch base!
I have read some studies in the past that state that checking social media websites on a regular basis can cause you to become irritated, angry, depressed, etc. I RARELY check my Facebook account, mostly because I'd rather talk to people in a more private and personal setting. But, I just went through a couple of recent posts, and clicked on a few names... and then a few more. Long story short, after about a half an hour of clicking and reading, I wanted to dunk my head in a bucket of ice water. All it made me realize is how little I have done with my life in the past few years. I see all of these old friends from high school and undergrad doing all these really interesting things in interesting places, and I'm still stuck in grad school, jerking around trying to finish my MASTERS! I've been here for almost 4 years... most people getting their PhD. are done before that amount of time. I WILL be done by May, but it still took me YEARS longer than it should have.
Old friends and school aside, I happened to come across some of my old ex's... oh, how joyous that always is. I feel odd complaining about old romantic interests, but it really did get to me. Maybe it brought back older, happier memories, of times where I had something to look forward to on a bad day. Maybe I'm jealous that their lives are going much more smoothly than mine. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're happy; I just wish I could be smiling like them.
I feel so petty. I hate feeling so crappy when I compare myself to other people, because I know I don't have it that bad. I know it's all relative, but someone is always there to remind you that "there are people starving around the world that would take your problems in a heart beat." I'm aware of that fact. It doesn't change the way I feel though. All it really does is make me feel worse.
Another weird thing is, like I said earlier, I am very close to being finished with my masters, and I can't wait to get the hell out of here and move on with my life... but at the same time, I am terrified. I have no idea where I'll be in the next couple months. I don't even know if I'll have a job when I finish. I guess this is what it's like to "grow up"? Christ... that sounds so sad coming from someone that is 26.
Anyway, sorry to rant about a bunch of garbage and bumming anyone out that reads this. I feel slightly better, so I guess something good came out of it... Hope everyone out there is having a better time than me! Be back in another month or so to touch base!
I came to this board to rant as well but I might as well just invade this topic. I made this account a bit over year ago now and I haven't posted nearly as much BS as I wanted to (my goal in creating this account). Oh well, maybe I'll get more done this year.
With regard to your issue, it isn't really just your issue. It is known as a quarter life crisis which plenty of young folk go through. A person might try to dismiss it as #FirstWorldProblems but as you said you can't change how you feel. So the key is to avoid feeling that way in the first place.
An important thing to note first of all is that those people you saw on Facebook and had runs-ins with are not infallible. They are dealing with their own insecurities and demons as well, but of course people don't let that show. Rather they just smile and press on. I'm sure when you were speaking with your ex(s) you gave them the best impression possible and that everything in life is going your way, when in reality your just dying inside. They may very well feel as you do.
But if you feel that negative energy brewing just put it out of your mind, forcibly. Instead engage in whatever your favorite hobby is, or work out. You'll manage for sure though, once you got a career going you'll be able to travel and really let your wings stretch. If it makes you feel better, I myself probably won't even have my BA when I'm your age, I have no friend ex or otherwise to speak of, and next to nothing in my accumulated years of life to show for. Yet this is something I'm okay with. Everything is a matter of perspective. Hope this helps!
With regard to your issue, it isn't really just your issue. It is known as a quarter life crisis which plenty of young folk go through. A person might try to dismiss it as #FirstWorldProblems but as you said you can't change how you feel. So the key is to avoid feeling that way in the first place.
An important thing to note first of all is that those people you saw on Facebook and had runs-ins with are not infallible. They are dealing with their own insecurities and demons as well, but of course people don't let that show. Rather they just smile and press on. I'm sure when you were speaking with your ex(s) you gave them the best impression possible and that everything in life is going your way, when in reality your just dying inside. They may very well feel as you do.
But if you feel that negative energy brewing just put it out of your mind, forcibly. Instead engage in whatever your favorite hobby is, or work out. You'll manage for sure though, once you got a career going you'll be able to travel and really let your wings stretch. If it makes you feel better, I myself probably won't even have my BA when I'm your age, I have no friend ex or otherwise to speak of, and next to nothing in my accumulated years of life to show for. Yet this is something I'm okay with. Everything is a matter of perspective. Hope this helps!
S32
100
author=Oblic
All it made me realize is how little I have done with my life in the past few years. I see all of these old friends from high school and undergrad doing all these really interesting things in interesting places, and I'm still stuck in grad school, jerking around trying to finish my MASTERS!
You're in grad school and working towards getting your Masters degree; if you ask me, that certainly counts as doing something with your life. I can count the number of people I know who even attempted grad school on one hand. What you're doing is no small task, so you shouldn't be down on yourself if it's taking you a while to get there. Your efforts will certainly lead you to prosperity, so hang in there.
I know what you mean about Facebook invoking depressing feelings; it has a similar affect on me. It's important to remember, though, that not everyone likes to share the negative aspects of their lives with the general public. Just because nobody is detailing their hardships on Facebook doesn't mean they're not going through them.
author=Oblic
Old friends and school aside, I happened to come across some of my old ex's... oh, how joyous that always is. I feel odd complaining about old romantic interests, but it really did get to me. Maybe it brought back older, happier memories, of times where I had something to look forward to on a bad day. Maybe I'm jealous that their lives are going much more smoothly than mine. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're happy; I just wish I could be smiling like them.
Encountering an ex can be rough, but it doesn't have to be. Most of the time if seeing or hearing about an ex is a sore spot, it's because one hasn't taken the time to reflect on the bad memories; only the good. When you're actually in the relationship, it's easy to cast aside bad memories to leave room for the good ones. After the fact, it's important to weigh the good against the bad, because it helps to negate the positive bias that your feelings have developed for your now ex.
My worst breakup was pretty bad (suffice to say, it involved paperwork), and naturally it took a great emotional toll on me. However, giving appropriate attention to all the negativity in the relationship (and there was a lot of it) helped me realize that I was better off, and to rationalize the breakup as a necessary course of action. As a result, there is no animosity between myself and her, and I can communicate with her (without thinking anything of it.
author=Oblic
Another weird thing is, like I said earlier, I am very close to being finished with my masters, and I can't wait to get the hell out of here and move on with my life... but at the same time, I am terrified. I have no idea where I'll be in the next couple months. I don't even know if I'll have a job when I finish. I guess this is what it's like to "grow up"? Christ... that sounds so sad coming from someone that is 26.
Don't worry about that so much - we all have doubts, especially when the road ahead is uncertain. It can be hard to relax the thought when you're anticipating big changes, but I guarantee you it'll be much easier to make the right decisions when the time comes than in may seem now. Focus on what's important now, and worry about moving or whatever when the time comes.
While I have never met you before, I can relate in a lot of ways (except being on the fast track to a degree, for that I am totes jelly), so I can assure you that I know how you feel. Hang in there, and your anxiety will vanish before you know it.
thatbennyguy
1612
It is a well known fact that a lot of peoples lives look far more interesting on Facebook than they actually are IRL. This comes from being experienced with people who take a lot of photos of almost everything they do, and their profile looks beautiful because it shows the variety of things they bothered to take a pic of. But remember that everyone still is a sack of meat and we all have hopes, dreams, aspirations. 26 is young. Whole life ahead of you, bud.
Dont ever forget that. I thank God for that everyday.
Dont ever forget that. I thank God for that everyday.
Thanks guys... I know I kind of left this hanging, but I was afraid of just coming off as a whiny douche, so I kind of typed it to vent and didn't look back. I really did feel better about a day later, but reading these responses, even weeks later, I feel a tons better, and really helped my outlook. Seriously... it made me remember how awesome this community is. The fact that anyone responded, and all of them being 100% supportive almost brought me to tears (in a good way)!
Love you all and thanks again for the positive words!
Love you all and thanks again for the positive words!
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Life isn't a JRPG. There isn't a final goal. There's no core path you need to take, relegating every other activity to a sidequest that you hope might support your goal. Deciding to spend on tasks doesn't have to be because those tasks are the most optimal path.
Life is a sandbox game. Screw around. Collect every bottlecap in your entire city, or just enough to trade in for a rocket launcher. Try to figure out how to do that skateboard trick you just saw someone else do. Earn achievements if you want them - or ignore them if you think gamerscore is meaningless. Find the highest mountain, and climb to the top, for no other reason than to see how far your follower will fly through the air if you Fus Ro Da them off the edge. Sit down and rest for a while. Find someone else to play with, and laugh with them until 4 AM about the terrible cut scenes you're forced to watch. You might not finish what the strategy guide calls the "main quest" - but lots of people have more fun just driving around Vice City at 130 mph for their entire play time. Relax. Have fun. There's no ultimate goal. There's just a bunch of stuff you can decide whether or not to do.
Life is a sandbox game. Screw around. Collect every bottlecap in your entire city, or just enough to trade in for a rocket launcher. Try to figure out how to do that skateboard trick you just saw someone else do. Earn achievements if you want them - or ignore them if you think gamerscore is meaningless. Find the highest mountain, and climb to the top, for no other reason than to see how far your follower will fly through the air if you Fus Ro Da them off the edge. Sit down and rest for a while. Find someone else to play with, and laugh with them until 4 AM about the terrible cut scenes you're forced to watch. You might not finish what the strategy guide calls the "main quest" - but lots of people have more fun just driving around Vice City at 130 mph for their entire play time. Relax. Have fun. There's no ultimate goal. There's just a bunch of stuff you can decide whether or not to do.
Lots of solid advice here!
I can certainly relate to your problem, Oblic, especially with the Facebook thing. Plus, anyone who's seen me on IRC is probably aware of my ridiculously competitive nature which doesn't help at all, but lately I've been taking steps to basically get a grip.
I think the key thing to remember is that for the most part, your life is in your hands. If you turn it into a race, it will be, but be aware that it doesn't have to be.
Like Auron said, "this is your story".
I can certainly relate to your problem, Oblic, especially with the Facebook thing. Plus, anyone who's seen me on IRC is probably aware of my ridiculously competitive nature which doesn't help at all, but lately I've been taking steps to basically get a grip.
I think the key thing to remember is that for the most part, your life is in your hands. If you turn it into a race, it will be, but be aware that it doesn't have to be.
Like Auron said, "this is your story".
author=LockeZ
Life isn't a JRPG. There isn't a final goal. There's no core path you need to take, relegating every other activity to a sidequest that you hope might support your goal. Deciding to spend on tasks doesn't have to be because those tasks are the most optimal path.
Life is a sandbox game. Screw around. Collect every bottlecap in your entire city, or just enough to trade in for a rocket launcher. Try to figure out how to do that skateboard trick you just saw someone else do. Earn achievements if you want them - or ignore them if you think gamerscore is meaningless. Find the highest mountain, and climb to the top, for no other reason than to see how far your follower will fly through the air if you Fus Ro Da them off the edge. Sit down and rest for a while. Find someone else to play with, and laugh with them until 4 AM about the terrible cut scenes you're forced to watch. You might not finish what the strategy guide calls the "main quest" - but lots of people have more fun just driving around Vice City at 130 mph for their entire play time. Relax. Have fun. There's no ultimate goal. There's just a bunch of stuff you can decide whether or not to do.
Ah, the ol' "Eat a Donut and die when your XP runs out" mode. ;p
But yes - Lockez has the right of it. The only goals in life are the ones you set for yourself.
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