GUYS, IF WE'RE BRINGING EVERYTHING OUT INTO THE OPEN, I ALSO HAVE A CONFESSION.

The account LockeZ is not a single person's account. It is actually a shared account used by multiple people. To be more precise, every single person in the US states of Missouri, Illinois and Indiana is LockeZ.

For about a week when the LockeZ account first opened in 2009 it was run by the gaming club at Fort Zumwalt High School, but the password was handed around freely to acquaintances of the club members, and its use spread rapidly. By the end of the second month every student in the school district had access to it along with many of their friends and families, and it had also begun spreading to neighboring schools and churches. The popularity continued to grow rapidly, and eventually it became something that was not just used by teenagers but also by adults and even small children. It has become a cultural rite in this part of America for everyone to log onto the account and act as LockeZ at least once a month. Most major posts are now the result of a crowdsourcing mechanism we've set up to handle the decisions of what to write and what to post, which has kept the account's "personality" about as stable as could possibly be expected.

Although there have been some attempts to prevent the further spread of the account, it is inevitable that it will continue to grow. It's projected that by summer or autumn of 2018, every English-speaking person in the United States will be LockeZ, and by 2022 this one identity will have assimilated the entire human race.