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INTERNET PERSONA VS "REAL LIFE" PERSONA
Posts
harmonic
CloseLet's talk about the way we act online versus offline.
Offline, we are generally held accountable by several things. We need to look/smell good. Our body language communicates an enormous amount of information. The things we say are immediately judged and/or responded to, and most of the people we talk to are either friends, family, work colleagues, clients, or employees at businesses you frequent. Therefore, most well-adjusted adults tend to behave in a way that will reflect upon them as respectful, polite, fair, virtuous, and friendly, so as not to alienate people.
I am especially held accountable, as my job requires me to have a certain degree of reputation for people to feel good about entrusting their financial decisions to me, and spreading referrals through word-of-mouth.
One last thing about offline... it's easy to see peoples' intentions and hidden agendas based on their body language, and speech mannerisms.
--------------
Online is an entirely different world. People have the shield of anonymity. We still know your name (online name) and your reputation, but you are not held accountable by nearly as much. 99% of the people you speak with online, you will never meet, and will never be bound to in any sort of personal or business relationship. Also, they're not standing in front of you to knock your teeth out if you decide to get mouthy.
4chan is a great example of raw online persona. People have gone as far as typing the "N" word hundreds of times over and over in a single post there. Then there's the obvious nasty pornography!
The upside to online is that you can think as long as you want before you say something. You aren't restricted by timing as you are offline.
-------
Some people say that our online and offline personas are identical, and the offline persona reveals far less. Others say we are a totally different person online and offline.
I believe that it depends on the person. Seems that some people do and say things online that they wouldn't dare do and say offline, while others just have a universal persona for all mediums of communication.
Discuss!
Offline, we are generally held accountable by several things. We need to look/smell good. Our body language communicates an enormous amount of information. The things we say are immediately judged and/or responded to, and most of the people we talk to are either friends, family, work colleagues, clients, or employees at businesses you frequent. Therefore, most well-adjusted adults tend to behave in a way that will reflect upon them as respectful, polite, fair, virtuous, and friendly, so as not to alienate people.
I am especially held accountable, as my job requires me to have a certain degree of reputation for people to feel good about entrusting their financial decisions to me, and spreading referrals through word-of-mouth.
One last thing about offline... it's easy to see peoples' intentions and hidden agendas based on their body language, and speech mannerisms.
--------------
Online is an entirely different world. People have the shield of anonymity. We still know your name (online name) and your reputation, but you are not held accountable by nearly as much. 99% of the people you speak with online, you will never meet, and will never be bound to in any sort of personal or business relationship. Also, they're not standing in front of you to knock your teeth out if you decide to get mouthy.
4chan is a great example of raw online persona. People have gone as far as typing the "N" word hundreds of times over and over in a single post there. Then there's the obvious nasty pornography!
The upside to online is that you can think as long as you want before you say something. You aren't restricted by timing as you are offline.
-------
Some people say that our online and offline personas are identical, and the offline persona reveals far less. Others say we are a totally different person online and offline.
I believe that it depends on the person. Seems that some people do and say things online that they wouldn't dare do and say offline, while others just have a universal persona for all mediums of communication.
Discuss!
Shadowtext
120
My online personality and my offline personality are basically the same, but I'm slightly more outgoing and confrontational (though I wouldn't say aggressive) online. Or at least, more willing to deal with conflict. Conflict makes me very nervous in meatspace.
demondestiny
979
I'm actually kind of more outgoing when i am online but in real life i am the shy quiet type of person.
author=harmonic link=topic=2759.msg51960#msg51960 date=1229988252
One last thing about offline... it's easy to see peoples' intentions and hidden agendas based on their body language, and speech mannerisms.
I very much disagree with this, being a girl. I've seen and felt the deviousness of women throughout my entire life, which is part of why they make me so uneasy - it's completely impossible to tell what they really feel. Most times, in girls at least (women are hopefully but not necessarily more mature), you'll get a cheery smile, even a hug, sometimes an "Oh my gosh I love you!" when really they're secretly ruining your whole life/stealing your boyfriend/telling everyone nasty secrets about you.
Men can be equally devious if they please... I feel that they have less necessity for deviousness due to the evolution of men and women since ancient times (while a man in Rome could generally kill another man outright without much repercussion, or show obvious signs of ambition, women had to resort to devious maneuvering and poisoning because outright ambition was not acceptable), but I've seen my fair share of guys who lie. Just not as many as girls.
Any good liar has it in them... just look at sociopaths. They're always "nice," "charming," and socially perfect. Inside, they have the makings of serial killers.
But I prefer rl to ol because if you do something nasty IRL, you have a face and must be accountable for your nastiness. Online, there is no accountability, which gives a perfect outlet for people who like to be cruel (which most humans have a tendency to be). Also, if you're harassed/bullied irl, people take it seriously... whereas, online, people are more likely to say "oh, it's only the internet" even if it is just as (or more) hurtful.
I try to be the same person online as I am IRL, which is difficult, because I'm not on the same wavelength as other people who like to harass others "4 teh lulz."
Shadowtext
120
author=aprilschild link=topic=2759.msg52018#msg52018 date=1229999888Intangible, non-verbal communication is a lot harder to fake than people think, and once you really learn to read another person's body language, vocal tones, and mannerisms, it's very difficult for them to pretend they're not feeling a particular emotion, even if they can lie to you about facts.author=harmonic link=topic=2759.msg51960#msg51960 date=1229988252
One last thing about offline... it's easy to see peoples' intentions and hidden agendas based on their body language, and speech mannerisms.
I very much disagree with this, being a girl. I've seen and felt the deviousness of women throughout my entire life, which is part of why they make me so uneasy - it's completely impossible to tell what they really feel. Most times, in girls at least (women are hopefully but not necessarily more mature), you'll get a cheery smile, even a hug, sometimes an "Oh my gosh I love you!" when really they're secretly ruining your whole life/stealing your boyfriend/telling everyone nasty secrets about you.
Men can be equally devious if they please... I feel that they have less necessity for deviousness due to the evolution of men and women since ancient times (while a man in Rome could generally kill another man outright without much repercussion, or show obvious signs of ambition, women had to resort to devious maneuvering and poisoning because outright ambition was not acceptable), but I've seen my fair share of guys who lie. Just not as many as girls.
Any good liar has it in them... just look at sociopaths. They're always "nice," "charming," and socially perfect. Inside, they have the makings of serial killers.
But I prefer rl to ol because if you do something nasty IRL, you have a face and must be accountable for your nastiness. Online, there is no accountability, which gives a perfect outlet for people who like to be cruel (which most humans have a tendency to be). Also, if you're harassed/bullied irl, people take it seriously... whereas, online, people are more likely to say "oh, it's only the internet" even if it is just as (or more) hurtful.
I try to be the same person online as I am IRL, which is difficult, because I'm not on the same wavelength as other people who like to harass others "4 teh lulz."
That often comes down to knowing the individual, but there's a certain degree of intuitive empathy that works even on strangers, and it's mostly just a knack.
In my experience, you can generally tell when someone's being bitchy to you, even if their words make them sound sincere. At least in real life. Online....it's tough enough to tell when someone's joking (something that has plagued me for a while, since people have a habit of taking things I type ironically at face value), much less if they're just baiting you into making an ass of yourself.
author=Shadowtext link=topic=2759.msg52022#msg52022 date=1230000534author=aprilschild link=topic=2759.msg52018#msg52018 date=1229999888Intangible, non-verbal communication is a lot harder to fake than people think, and once you really learn to read another person's body language, vocal tones, and mannerisms, it's very difficult for them to pretend they're not feeling a particular emotion, even if they can lie to you about facts.author=harmonic link=topic=2759.msg51960#msg51960 date=1229988252words
One last thing about offline... it's easy to see peoples' intentions and hidden agendas based on their body language, and speech mannerisms.
That often comes down to knowing the individual, but there's a certain degree of intuitive empathy that works even on strangers, and it's mostly just a knack.
In my experience, you can generally tell when someone's being bitchy to you, even if their words make them sound sincere. At least in real life. Online....it's tough enough to tell when someone's joking (something that has plagued me for a while, since people have a habit of taking things I type ironically at face value), much less if they're just baiting you into making an ass of yourself.
So you guys are telling me you've never had the wool pulled over your eyes IRL? You guys must be pretty good at reading people :P or you don't hang out with girls enough.
Honestly, if you look around you, the art of deception is practiced constantly. Very rarely does anyone wear their hearts on their sleeves. Go out and hang with your in-laws, for example. I bet you anything, even if you loathe them, you're saying "please," "thank you," and acting polite. How about your boss? If we were all wise to the way people really felt about us, the world would be a lot different than it is.
Yeah, sometimes you can tell how people really feel. But a lot of the time you can't. I'm guilty of it too... there's one girl I can name who I have nothing but disrespect for and she's none the wiser... I make sure of that. Tell me there's no one in your life you treat nicely that you hate, and I'll be very surprised.
Being a female, you've had to deal with female subversion more. I can totally see where you're coming from though. Men (generally) will be more overt with their dissatisfaction with someone else. Although that's less and less common anymore.
Too common!
author=aprilschild link=topic=2759.msg52018#msg52018 date=1229999888
people who like to harass others "4 teh lulz."
Too common!
Neok
2860
I am very much as impatient and smarmy IRL as I am not IRL!
I use to be less smarmy though, if that counts for anything.
I use to be less smarmy though, if that counts for anything.
Found it!
http://www.rpgmaker.net/forums/index.php?topic=2326.0
But it was two months ago, so I guess it's okay.
http://www.rpgmaker.net/forums/index.php?topic=2326.0
But it was two months ago, so I guess it's okay.
demondestiny
979
author=Natook link=topic=2759.msg52079#msg52079 date=1230014109
Found it!
http://www.rpgmaker.net/forums/index.php?topic=2326.0
But it was two months ago, so I guess it's okay.
dammit, i was looking for it as well but couldn't see it.
Oh well. April brought up an interesting point. I've seen females manipulate and psychologically torture each other like that. It's not just a female thing though. There are people whose every word and action is motivated by buttering up potential benefactors, and isolating and alienating potential opponents... both offline and online. The situations April is talking about, where they love you one moment and stab you in the back as soon as you turn around, is just an example of acting completely out of self-interest and climbing the social ladder.
But eventually you do learn to take almost everything people say with a grain of salt. Usually they're either bending the truth, love to hear the sound of their own voice, or just plain don't have any idea what they're talking about. :P
But eventually you do learn to take almost everything people say with a grain of salt. Usually they're either bending the truth, love to hear the sound of their own voice, or just plain don't have any idea what they're talking about. :P
So you guys are telling me you've never had the wool pulled over your eyes IRL? You guys must be pretty good at reading people Tongue or you don't hang out with girls enough.
Honestly, if you look around you, the art of deception is practiced constantly. Very rarely does anyone wear their hearts on their sleeves. Go out and hang with your in-laws, for example. I bet you anything, even if you loathe them, you're saying "please," "thank you," and acting polite. How about your boss? If we were all wise to the way people really felt about us, the world would be a lot different than it is.
Yeah, sometimes you can tell how people really feel. But a lot of the time you can't. I'm guilty of it too... there's one girl I can name who I have nothing but disrespect for and she's none the wiser... I make sure of that. Tell me there's no one in your life you treat nicely that you hate, and I'll be very surprised.
That isn't what harmonic is saying, though. What he means is, when you compare internet to real life, it's at least easier to go off body language, and speech mannerisms, because online you don't have that to go by at all. Anyone can type out some dishonest bullshit online or be a tough guy and say things they'd never say to someones face, but it's generally easier to discern what's real in face to face communication. Sure, everyone has been successfully lied to before, but online you have no reference point at all.
And yeah, it's mostly girls/women who are nice to each other's faces but secretly hate each other. Girls do it all the time, and I remember even studying the matter in psychology class.
Yeaster
3865
My internet persona = real life persona
Laid back, cool, aloof
My posts aren't interesting, but in rl I'm actually a lot of fun, if a little vain (occassionally).
Laid back, cool, aloof
My posts aren't interesting, but in rl I'm actually a lot of fun, if a little vain (occassionally).
Yellow Magic
I'm the Dawg, so that's what you call me. Or maybe His Dawgness, or Dawger, or El Dawgerino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
1363
I don't like to think there's a difference between my "internet persona" and "real-life persona" because I don't like believing the internet is a world of its own. Nonetheless, I am always the type of guy who sits behind the shadows watching the passers-by (apparently I am an enigmatic type to numerous people around me). I don't tend to have much of an influence in either "world"; I'm just........there.
EDIT: Oh and I ALWAYS love making lame jokes and laughing at them dohoho
EDIT: Oh and I ALWAYS love making lame jokes and laughing at them dohoho
author=WIP link=topic=2759.msg52141#msg52141 date=1230056811
I am even cooler in real life.
Does not compute. Divide by zero.
I guess I should break the chain with a serious post, eh?
I'm particularly less obnoxious than I am online. Well, by that, I mean I've always considered myself outgoing online, but sometimes that translates into being pushy, obnoxious, and irritating. However, offline I'm still very outgoing, but I think I'm much more personable because of stuff like body language, inflection of voice, and other social and communication nuances you can't portray online.
In real life I make friends pretty easily, but I get into trouble online because my offline persona doesn't really translate well online. I remember harmonic telling me a while ago that I don't really seem to fit in 'the crowd' here, because from the recent pictures that I have and the 'real life' stuff that some people know about me (and even some of the stuff I say online), he said he'd more imagine me 'in the club with my boys pullin' bitches'. I was pretty amused by his comment and I had a laugh, but that's kinda correct. If you knew me offline, you'd be surprised that I'm into things like RPGs, game making, comic books, etc. Hell, there are people I know in real life that don't know I'm into those things.
But I think I'm a pretty nice guy I guess.
I'm particularly less obnoxious than I am online. Well, by that, I mean I've always considered myself outgoing online, but sometimes that translates into being pushy, obnoxious, and irritating. However, offline I'm still very outgoing, but I think I'm much more personable because of stuff like body language, inflection of voice, and other social and communication nuances you can't portray online.
In real life I make friends pretty easily, but I get into trouble online because my offline persona doesn't really translate well online. I remember harmonic telling me a while ago that I don't really seem to fit in 'the crowd' here, because from the recent pictures that I have and the 'real life' stuff that some people know about me (and even some of the stuff I say online), he said he'd more imagine me 'in the club with my boys pullin' bitches'. I was pretty amused by his comment and I had a laugh, but that's kinda correct. If you knew me offline, you'd be surprised that I'm into things like RPGs, game making, comic books, etc. Hell, there are people I know in real life that don't know I'm into those things.
But I think I'm a pretty nice guy I guess.
