• Add Review
  • Subscribe
  • Nominate
  • Submit Media
  • RSS

Sword Needs Loving

  • ZPE
  • 08/11/2011 11:48 PM

Lovely Sword Episode 01 is the first game in a three-part comedy series by Radscythe. Most comedy games try too hard to be funny but this game doesn't even try.

The game throws you into a throne room without a proper introduction but as soon as you move a few steps, you start talking to the king, your father. It turns out he wants grandchildren so you need to find a princess to get married and so your journey begins.

The adventure is meant to be funny but the humour fails at every level. From the beginning until the last scene, there is nothing in this game that is remotely funny. I don't know who would find this funny but if you do, please let us know how.

Don't get your hopes up about time-travelling

The enemy encounters use the default action-time-based system although you don't learn new spells, instead all are given to you and it's just a case of finding the strongest one to go through battles quickly.

There's a strange battle in the first room which was meant to be a laugh-out-moment but like all humour in this game, it just doesn't work. After that you are led into one fight after another (without a break). This pretty much sums up this episode.

Throughout this game, character sprites, maps and face sets clash badly. The game only features two different maps, the throne room and the town outside the castle but it looks like no effort was put into making it look at least half-decent.

The music is another major annoyance. It weighs in at around 22MB (95% of the download size) and they come straight out of Radscythe's music collection. As rock punk vocals are in the music it's really distracting when you're trying to read dialogue, I decided to mute the audio soon after.

The only positive thing I can say is that the dialogue is well-written, it's just a shame the content is rushed, poorly executed and ultimately fails as a a game.