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Get Off My Planet

  • Addit
  • 06/10/2013 09:49 AM
  • 1368 views


A Game Made By: ChuJooRi
Created Using: Custom Engine (Flash)
It's A: PUZZLE Game
That Roughly Takes Around: A Minute To Complete
And It's A... COMPLETED GAME!!!


What the hell is up with me and playing recent games from the year 2011? I mean, first Generica – now this! Maybe it has something to do with a certain Canadian hockey team going to a stupid cup championship and losing to a bunch of pansies in yellow with big B’s on their shirts which caused a bunch of drunken morons to start a riot and, in the process, they almost burn the entire city down to the ground! And speaking of burning shit to the ground, Marie Goes To Space. Where do I even begin with this one… *shakes head*

Back in the smexy summer of 2011, just mere months after the Vancouver Riots a certain contest was being held at RMN at the time. The theme of the matter? Surrealism. Teams of individuals (or individuals themselves) had exactly one month to complete a game using that concept with the winner getting 100 points in virtual makerscore; a virtual gold medal; and the utmost respect of his or her peers. Hell, you even get 50 makerscore for even entering into this contest (which is ironic now because two reviews are worth about the same as that crappy medal). Anywhoooo…of the 27 members who entered the competition, the author for this game, ChuJooRi, also joined in – and she really wanted to win… Okay, maybe not. But she sure gave it her best try for only spending around three hours on the project. While she didn’t win (or even place), ChuJooRi unleashed something to the world that first appeared to be rather eccentric and erotically amusing when the game first debuted two years ago. But as time has passed, there is reason why no one has dared to review this game and lived to tell about it. As the only brave soul (at the moment) to review this…acid trip of a game, it is my job to review this game, place Marie into a big-ass rocketship, strap her on for dear life, and launch that rocketship to a place where most things that often go bad go: Cleveland, Ohio, USA. Let’s get this party started!!!

The Story


Wait a minute… that rainbow… I’ve seen it somewhere before…



OH GWD, NO!!!


Marie is just your average ordinary girl in her own ordinary world (at least for the first five seconds of the game). It is the end of summer, and school is about to begin anew. Marie ponders how time has gone by so fast and begins contemplating about the future. As Marie begins to ponder, her wild imagination soon begins to take into shape, as her inner visions begin to take a life of its own, one last time, before summer’s end.

The Gameplay


”Fly me to the mooooooon…!”


Marie Goes To Space is broken down into two – incredibly, like REALLY incredibly short mini-games. These mini-games range from destroying a couple of tall buildings to flinging that 3D ***ch into the highest levels of the solar system and hoping you can actually manage to do it (sadly, that last part doesn’t quite happen in this version). For a game with not too much to offer, I will have to admit, I did kinda like the flinging Marie into space part…at least for the first couple of moments. The thing is, you get some kind of a score for seeing how high you can fling Marie into space. But the scoring system only goes as high as 2763 and the novelty quickly wears off after a while, just like this game. What a coincidence!

The Soundtrack


”FLING THAT ***CH! FLING THAT ***CH!!!”


Soundtrack? T…There was a soundtrack? Uh…yeah…soundtrack… I really enjoyed…that...particular song, yeah, that song…where…Marie has to go and…um…fight the magical pink elephant man…and um…ah…

In other words, there AIN’T no soundtrack. Unless you call strange noises grumbling and a weird humming sound a song then you, my friend, are in serious need of a shrink. A musical shrink! (Better call Dr. Snoop!)

The Aesthetics


Is this city – no, game too dang cheap to afford a defensive tank unit?


Marie Goes To Space isn’t the most prettiest game around, but it’s not terrible either. The 3D model of Marie, while kind of spooky and even creeps me the hell out doesn’t look too bad. (But what’s with her taste in fashion sense? I mean…spikes on her elbows, steel leggings?) The backgrounds and objects seem to be ripped, as far as I can tell. And that rainbow thing can go to hell. The graphics are…slightly passable. ‘Nuff said.

The End Result


Personal best is personal best!


Despite the fact that this game only had three hours of development and was made for a contest that was supposed to be about surrealism and the such, you would think that Marie Goes To Space should automatically warrant a bit of a pass considering the circumstances that this game had, not to mention that the author claimed that she wanted to expand upon this and add more content in the future. Well, despite that, a future version was never released, and only this version remains. Now look…I get the whole surrealism thing and that’s why this game is what it is; I get it. But the truth of the reality is this: Games are meant to be played, regardless of concept or vision. Even a two minute game can be fun if it’s truly done well and makes the player wanna experience that game over-and-over again. Replayability is the key here! But with this game, it just…doesn’t do it for me. I will admit there are some good redeeming qualities about this game, like…ah…the part where you…fling Marie into…space? …Well, damn son, then I guess this game has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I hate to do this to somebody, but if there are no redeeming qualities that this game has to offer then there’s only one place for this ginormous 3D bimbo to go to:



TO CLEVELAND, OHIO!!!


OVERALL GRADE:
1 / 5 - D- ~ Not Even Worth Your Time.

Posts

Pages: 1
Ratty524
The 524 is for 524 Stone Crabs
12986
06/13/2013 06:37 PM
That isn't the LJN Rainbow of terror. The colors must be in the exact order of the logo to count.

Your reviews are always awesome.
Addit
6394
06/14/2013 03:51 AM
Close enough; it's just missing the "orange" part. X_x

And thank you. ^^

Also, is LJN even in business anymore? If so, maybe ChuJooRi works there, now? I mean, I've haven't seen her around in awhile, so maybe LJN scooped her up?
Pages: 1