Barbarians and the Necromancer's Tower

Preamble
Okay, I have no idea what to do. How do I play this game? I don't get it.



Visual: 1.5/5
As is readily apparent from any screenshot, Barbarians and the Necromancer's Tower is a platformer modeled after the earliest Castlevania games. There's a few slight changes, such as swinging a gigantic broadsword instead of a gangly whip only little girls would use. Simon Trevor The Barbarian also doesn't wear a shirt because he has ripped abs and unbelievable pecs to show off.

Who am I kidding? That boy's sprite could have used better shading, because it looks like he's wearing a long sleeve shirt. A hoodie, even, thanks to that diagonal bulge on his back. At least he's not wearing pants. Even the 8-bit Belmonts were too badass for that kind of frivolous apparel.

Speaking a little less facetiously, the Necromancer's Tower is an awfully bland trek. Castlevania is known for it's unique and memorable stages. The first one made terrific use of colors despite the game taking place in a single castle, and the third constructed ghost ships, marsh caves, sunken cities and clock towers out of 8-bit building blocks (I shall not mention Simon's Curse).
Meanwhile, the Necromancer's Tower is a just big, tall, grey brick structure. Why not borrow a little more inspiration from the source material? Because of this, one can't help but feel that stage design was... unavailed.

Audio: 5/5
Hell yeah. I'm listening to the stage 2 BGM as I write this. It's a keeper in my music collection.
BatNT employed some awesome 8-bit music composers to fill it's soundtrack. As an obligatory gripe, Stage 1's theme is maybe a tad too retro. It sounds pre-NES, like Atari 2600 or a DOS game. But whatever. It's all good stuff.

Storyline: 3/5
Simon A barbarian must defeat Dracula a Necromancer yet again for the first time ever to save lives to indulge in wine and women.
That's about it. Random generation of the barbarian ends at his name during the intro. I would've liked to have seen different types of barbarians, like a mace barb, axe barb, spear barb, fist barb, flail barb, bow barb, javelin barb, high jump barb, low jump barb, slide barb, dash barb, ninja barb, barb wire barb, frenzy barb, whirlwind barb, BO barb, PvP barb, find potion barb, or even a whip barb formerly known as Belmont.

Anyhoo, kill the necromancer and take his gold. He's a necromancer and thus automatically bad, so there's no reason to get into a moral quandary over this medieval break-and-entry. At the end of your burglary awaits a droll ending that ought to put a :j on your face. There may not be much of a plot to begin with, but BatNT makes whimsical use of it.

Bonus points for including a scanned instruction manual in the download. That's just plain cool.

Gameplay: 3.5/5
It plays exactly like the NES Castlevanias, right down to not being able to change direction mid-jump, to squatting after landing, to instant death plunge if you walk off a ledge.
You know how else it plays exactly like the NES Castlevanias? It's god damn f--king hard. Bats, man. I hate them no less than I did in the 80s. And those fish are nearly impossible to kill without the axe sub weapon. And urgh, those arcing bones! How do I kill that flying shield dude? Where did that skeledog come from? GRAWR!
There're heaps of challenging gauntlets where you're going to take damage no matter how you attempt them. Fortunately, there's also lots of meat to go around. You're still going to die tons though.



So it plays exactly like it's supposed to and I die frequently, just like I'm supposed to. What's the problem?
Not enough levels.
This game needed to be bigger. I want split paths and more enemies. I want to sneak in through the catacombs, or take a ghost ship across the moat, or cross the front drawbridge like a manly barbarian should. Failing the split paths route, give me Dante's 9 levels of hell to curse and swear and die a lot in. Make me throw my controller across the room like the good old days.
As it stands now, BatNT can be beaten in 30 minutes if you're good, or 60 if you're new. The online Highscore board, though awesome in concept, is going to be filled with samey scores because mastery can be achieved in a handful of playthroughs.
And of course, there'll eventually be that one prick who farms bats and gets a zillion points.

Overall: 3.5/5
Barbarians and the Necromancer's Tower is a genuinely difficult romp through the land of oldschool Castlevania. But like a partner who finishes too early, you're only left wanting more. So much more.


pssst. Hey BatNT Creator. Make this game longer.