This is a rather emotionally-charged blog. You have been warned.

I'm a bloody fool for redoing this damn game. It could have been finished. I could have moved onto other ventures but for some idiotic reason, I decided to redo not just the graphics, but the entire plot structure, nixing those band of cultists and that dreaded Ebony Strain disease that would have killed my heroine, and going for something that is probably way in over my head. But I still wanted to do it. Stupid Luchi.


Nine bloody hours done. NINE! And this was in December 2014... And I really have to bring back all those features.

Where am I now in 2016? Only two hours done of this 'new version' of the game! Urgh, I feel like such a failure. I could have been making pixel art resources and selling them ( and creaming it, because one dollar is now something like 15 South African Rand ) instead of redoing this...

I'm beginning to hate this project now. Like really hate it, but it could just be my overly sensitive self talking here. I'm very sensitive. I pick up on 'negative energies' very quickly, but it can also impact me in a negative way with regards to severe criticism of my projects ( which is also why I stay the hell away from debates on this forum ).

My emotions have a huge impact on what I do, and that includes game development. I don't think I have the right temperament for it. I'm just deeply upset looking at that old screenshot and seeing how far I really got into the game ( Silo Eight, Darcy and Lance are still a thing in the new game though ). Most people can't even manage 6 hours for an RM-game before slapping it with a Completed tag. I just love making 'long games'. I won't make a 1-hour fest unless its for a contest or something and working to a deadline. But RM is a hobby, not another job ( one day job is enough, thank you ) so I want my hours-worth out of it.

But I know deep down inside I'll never give up on LoTL, because its the game I want to make, for myself. Not for anyone else, not for a Misao ( lolpopularity fest ), not for subscribers, but for myself. It just has that 'hold' on me. But I've also inspired too many people to give up on gam-mak completely.

That in itself would be sin to take my talents away from those aspiring devs. And because I want Tristian to be such a success, I am putting enormous pressure on myself to make it my magnum opus. Which I want with all my heart. I know it has the makings of everything I want in an RPG, I'm just trying to sort out the narrative/plot structure and the direction.

I never did envisage a situation where I'd find a project that I'd pour more than just my heart and soul into ( Enelysion was like this back in my dev-hell period of mid 2014, but it pulled through ) so I know Tristian will probably be the same.

The game might not be everyone's cup of tea, but to hell with that. You can never please everyone. You will always have haters ( I know Enelysion has them, which is a good thing ). This is a game I made for myself, and that's the end of the story.

But enough of that. Have some new screens.







So much for a first blog for 2016. But I wanted to get it off my chest and just look ahead to what the new year brings.

And most important of all: Finish this damn game.