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  • polarcactus
  • Added: 09/22/2015 07:07 AM
  • Last updated: 03/28/2024 07:22 PM
  • 1705 views

Posts

Pages: 1
Craze
why would i heal when i could equip a morningstar
15150
I dunno if this counts as "conversational style" or "grammar" but I think any of

"power-lifting skirt-chaser, like the other..."
"power-lifting skirt-chaser... like the other meatheads..."
"power-lifting skirt-chaser -- like the othe meatheads..."

would look better than the full stop while still giving a pause between ideas. Generally in dialogue I don't mind subordinate clauses hanging around but when your whole message box is short stocky sentences it sounds weird and forced. This is more a variety issue imo.

..........maybe i'm just a message box nerd though
While the grammar police are in town, "typical power-lifting skirt chaser, like those other..."
You could even drop the 'other', but that's up for interpretation.
Hey, I don't mind the grammar police. Any critique is better than no critique or even better, excessive praise. =) Besides, I will be sending out private builds to those who wish to proof-read or just offer some gameplay tips.
Pages: 1