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Did you end up posting this playthrough elsewhere (like SomethingAwful) like you mentioned?

My problem with SomethingAwful is that the site's name is FAR too indicative of the general atmosphere and community you'll find there. *Shudder*

But yes, I am enjoying this LP! And will enjoy it much better if you follow Kentona's suggestion :P My laptop slowed to hell when I loaded this page.
Even if you hide the previous 'episodes' and leave the current one out of them for the time being. It's quite annoying to scroll to the bottom of the page to read a comment, only to jump back to the middle when pictures finally load. XP
(Socrates would certainly not contadict me!)
Even if you hide the previous 'episodes' and leave the current one out of them for the time being. It's quite annoying to scroll to the bottom of the page to read a comment, only to jump back to the middle when pictures finally load. XP
I used to make games. I still do, but I used to too.
Done! The video in the first post won't fit in the hide tags, for some reason.
This is totally going to inspire me to do this for Paradise Blue sometime in the future. (Best game evar.)
I used to make games. I still do, but I used to too.
Let's Play Hero's Realm!
Episode Three: Scourge Used Life Herb!
Good god, it's been a while. I feel pretty awful for just abandoning this LP and never giving a good reason, but I'm back now. To kind of make up for the several month absence, this is a two for one update, covering the Merchant's Pass through the Dilithium Caves. For those of you who haven't played this game before, that covers about 3/4's of Holdana's Chapter. To prevent another 8 month hiatus, I'll be giving myself a strict schedule. Updates to this LP will be on Wednesdays and Saturdays, unless something life-threatening occurs, in which case they won't. Without further ado, I present Update Three.

Here's our intrepid adventurers, just the way we left them eight months prior.

Not much has changed with the inventory. I'll stop showing pictures of what we're carrying around when I get into Chapter 5 because it will require multiple screenshots at that point.
If you recall, we were heading to solve some problems in the Merchant's Pass.
On of the guards outside gives us a helpful hint on navigating, which serves to introduce an important function of Hero's Realm.

Ladders. These crop up in quite a few dungeons throughout the game. The premise is simple: find a ladder and use it to cross a gap. Ladders are pretty well hidden, usually in out of the way spaces, but they're never overly difficult to find, which is a blessing. Heading into the Merchant's Pass, we're greeted with the source of the problem.

As the guard tells us, the only way past is to kill a number of evil Imps wandering around the pass. The only way to reach those Imps?


The Imps set up a major theme in Hero's Realm. Villains are evil and they love it. Most of the antagonists are Snidely Whiplash, mustache twirling, evil-laughing types. They're almost ineffectual comic relief, at least until Chapters 4 and 5 roll around....

The Imps aren't that difficult, but they like to use poison. I, thankfully, came prepared with some antidote herbs, but nobody on the team can heal poison yet. Having no Druids might end up being a bit of a challenge early on.

The Imps all say this when they go down. You can basically repeat this screen a few more times and you'd have the crux of this dungeon, but there's a few thing left to show.

Like more ladders.
There's also some decent loot lying around.

Finally, this happens

And we're subject to some polite thanks from the folks in the pass.

And, far more importantly, to a reward from this guy.

A very nice reward.

A VERY nice reward.

We've got a healing spell now. And it only took five levels! Woot!
Now that we've taking care of the Imp infestation, it's time to head north. To Alaska.

It's night time now, which is important for reasons I'll go into in a few minutes.
For right now though, it's time to talk about Teleportals, those little temple like buildings. You can see one in the upper left corner of the screen. Teleportals allow the party to, believe it or not, teleport from place to place. Most of them, this one included, have two destinations: one important to that Chapter, and one that will become accessible later on. Here, one of the teleportals takes us north, while the other one sends us to an optional dungeon I'll be covering during Chapter 5.
Let's head on in.

This being Hero's Realm, we're instantly presented with a Broken Bridge. We'll need a new Dilithium crystal if we want to find the missing children.

This door leads to that optional dungeon. The coloring of the locked door means I need the Magic Key, which isn't obtainable for quite some time.

I could probably swim that. Stupid broken teleportals.
While running around at night, I do a wee bit of grinding, fighting off these guys.

Spakles are very annoying. They don't have much HP or defense, but they can fire off some decent magic which can be enough to kill low leveled characters in a single hit. Thanks to my ludicrous amount of grinding, this doesn't happen.
Traveling further north, we arrive in Helminsk. And it's still night. Perfect.

What am I doing? Making sure I arrive just in time to set the plot in motion.
Before I do that though, there's a quick bit of treasure to grab.

Huh, I bet if I just search underfoot on the suspicious bit of grass over there, I'll find an Iron Cla-

Wizard Potion.
Seriously though, these are incredibly rare and so useful I can't quite put it into words. They are the only way to restore MP in battle without using a skill. There's a warlock recipe to do the same thing, but the potions it creates only restore 30 MP, not the whopping 80 a Wizard Potion does.
Now let's do what I came here to do.

Talking to this fellow in the Inn drops this hint about the Cobra Club, which is important, but it's what he says next that is essential. He tells you that the leader of the Cobra Club is in jail in Stromholm. This seems like a bit of useless information at the time, but it's going to be very important very soon. Come in during the day, and he won't say a word about the Cobra Club, insisting you come back at night. That's why I was careful to arrive in Helminsk after dark. If I arrived in the daytime, I would need to burn some time before getting this crucial hint.

There's a Ticket here too.
I'll cover the Funhouse in a bonus update down the line.

After a rest at the Inn, daytime arrives and the soldier has a bit of information to drop on us. Chekhov's Tower is till up north being all menacing and foreshadowing and evil and such. I have an itching feeling we'll probably end up going there at some point.

FORESHADOWING. Helminsk has got it all over the freaking place.
Once again, the weapon and armor shops are located in the same building.

I buy some upgraded equipment and find this in one of the wardrobes.

One step closer to that lightsabre.

Well, that's a relief.
That women pacing the sand below us asks us to find her lost brooch. It's fallen into the well, so down we go.

First the Tiny Medal Guy, now this? I know waterfront property is in high demand, but this is ridiculous! *ba-dum-tish*

Uh, well, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think nobody knows you're down he-
A book? On demons? This is in no way further foreshadowing or pertinent whatsoever.

Oh wait. Yes it is.
Let's here about Mephistocles first.

And how about Murzhor, while we're at it.

According to this guy, Balthalas is the Demon Lord's second-in-command and Urok likes to kill things. Lots of things.
Well, I'm sure we'll never run into any of these mythical beings during the course of the game. And I'm absolutely, 100% sure one of them isn't behind the disappearance of the children. And I'm even more sure we won't fight said mythical being within the next few updates.
Let's find that brooch so I can get back to finding children or whatever it was.

With gold. And experience.

There we go.
Well, now that we've taken care of our business in Helminsk, it's time to head south.

This should be a pretty uneventful journey.

Or not. I get through the stupid, Vamplant infested hills after a quick visit to the Inn and the Temple, only to run into this.

I have two qualified members of the Cobra Club with me. They're my left fist and my right fist.
Sadly, the guard doesn't seem too intimidated by my intelligent comeback.
To Helminsk we go! (Again)
A nice fellow in the underground offers us a great deal.

Well, that was handy. I'll come back here later to steal all the goodies behind that locked door, but, for now, it's Cobra time!

No what? No Cobra Club card means no entrance, but where, oh where, am I supposed to find a Cobra Club card?
Oh. That's right.
Back to Stromholm! Thank god for Warp Wings!
Before we go meeting with the jailed Cobra King, we make a pit stop at the Tiny Medal Guy's humble abode.

The Boomerang hit all enemies in battle, but doesn't do much damage. It's a nice weapon to have around though, especially against large groups of attackers.

After nightfall, it's time to head into the castle and meet with a certain Cobra King.

On the way, one of the guards drops an interesting rumor. This key is the one I need to get the loot in Helminsk.
In the cells, Cobra King has heard about us.

How, I don't know, but he's heard about us.
And he gives us this.

It's go time.
NEXT TIME! (Later today)
~ Mines!
~ Crystals!
~ Gangsters!
~ Rings!
~ I get my ass kicked!


I can't wait for more!
Yay~ Glad to see this is back. ^.^
Those Vamplant fools will pay. Those were the reason it took me forever to get through Hero's Realm. I forgot to save, and I died, and... ragequit.
I used to make games. I still do, but I used to too.
Let's Play Hero's Realm!
Episode Four: Darmon the Great is a Jerk

Welcome to the Cobra Club HQ in Norseland. We'll visit their real Headquarters in Chapter Five, but this is where it's at in the meantime. This update is going to be a bit shorter than the first half was and will cover the Dilithium Caves and the first "boss" fight of the game. Let's get to it.

Yes, yes, very glad...
Sadly, there's nothing in the crates to take, but there is a nice piece of loot in a pot in the next room.

Note to self: Caves bad. I'll just be sure to stay the heck out of them then.

Wait, wait, wait. No. What? The caves? I was JUST told the caves are bad. People die in the caves. Is this the Cobra Club version of hazing or something?
Anyways, the Cobra Clubber here wants me to bring back the Golden Pickaxe, which is guarded by a none-too-difficult boss. The reward?

A very, very nice one. These Rings increase all stats by 8 points. Very useful, especially for the four major Heroes. I'll take him up on his offer.

This cave just sounds better and better with each passing second.
The entrance is just a little ways further and I head in. Within a couple of seconds, I'm presented with this.

Those bones hint at this being a Monster-in-a-Box, but it's not. I pick up about 300 gold.

The Eyeballers like to use magic. This variety isn't very impressive, but I'll run into their upgraded friends very soon.

There's a Tiny Medal hanging around in one of the chests down here. After grabbing it, I head further into the caves.

Downstairs, I run into some upgraded versions of the Spakles from earlier.

The Popliums would be a real problem, but I've done enough grinding to get by them pretty easily.

There's quite a bit of water on the lower floor and I'll use that boat to reach a Wizard Potion.
Here's a quick screen of my inventory at this stage.

Notice the Warp Whistle and the Life Herb because they'll come in handy later.

This chest is a pretty obvious Monster-in-a-Box, but I go for it because there's usually some nice loot involved.

Welp. Morkuses (Morki?) aren't that difficult, but they have a ton of HP for this stage of the game.
The fight is worth it.

Rings of Warding increase defense by 10 points. Wormwood gets it for now because I'm saving the Ring of Stars for Holdana. With that taken care of, I grab some more loot.

The Dilithium crystal I need is in the chest across the water, but I'll need to go downstairs to reach it. The chest next to me held an Antidote herb. Pretty useful, but not game-changing.

Before I go downstairs, I'm sure to save. There's a boss fight waiting and, while I've never had any trouble with it before, I might struggle a little with this party combination. Time to go.

Double welp. That is a LOT of dead bodies.

Uhh... Let's take the left route. That looks pretty safe and free of scary things.

The left path leads to the Dilithium Crystal. I could just skedaddle out of here now, but I need that Ring of the Stars. So, it's back down the right path, where I run into this fellow.

It's boss time.

Darmon has never been a tough fight for me in the past. He has henchmen, setting up another Hero's Realm tradition. Almost every boss gets a few underlings to throw at you, even the final one. Darmon's got some upgraded/specialized Eyeballers helping him out. They aren't too impressive, but the translucent one at the top of the screen is immune to physical attacks. Thankfully, Holdana has Blaze now, and the Warlocks are packing some offensive spells as well.I didn't make a video of the Darmon fight because I thought he would be a pushover. I was, uh, wrong, to say the least.

Things start off pretty well,

But they don't stay that way for long.

I use a Life Herb to even the odds.

And then Wormwood makes use of a nifty summon spell to tilt the scales.

Sadly, Wormwood bites the dust, but not before he manages to take out one of Darmon's underlings.

Holdana and Weiner manage to pull off a victory, but it's a close one.

I don't know why I had such a difficult time with the Darmon fight. I'd pin it mostly on not having an ideal party, but it's a little bit my fault for underestimating him so much. Holdana and Weiner hit level 8 after the fight, but Wormwood and Madame Mam miss out on the experience because they died.

Let's get the heck of Dodge.

I'm so happy to hear that.

But I'm happier to get this.

And this. Since the two Warlocks are dead, I think they miss out on this experience too.

I hightail it back to Helminsk, dragging two dead party members with me the whole way. Miracle of miracles, I don't fight a single random battle.
My first destination is, naturally, the temple.

The Warlocks will pick up Vivify soonish, but I pay for them to be resurrected for now. With Darmon defeated, the Dilithium Crystal secured, and my party at full health and all at level 8, it's time to find those missing children. It's time to go north.

~ Towers!
~ Rovers!
~ Malfunctioning Machines!
~ Ladders!
~ Baddass Fishermen!
~ The End of Chapter One!

I used to make games. I still do, but I used to too.
Let's Play Hero's Realm!
Episode Five: Grim Up North

Alright, it's time for update five, covering the Rover Camp, a few optional areas, and the start of Balthalas Tower. This is going to be a LONG update, and it's still missing the majority of the Tower and the rescue of the children, which will be covered on Saturday. I'll do my best to keep this one entertaining, but this update is mostly going to be concerned with some backstory and optional content. Just think of it as a buildup to the throw-down against Balthalas arriving on Saturday.
Speaking of throwing down, let's have a look at Holdana and her badass bunch of heroes.

As I mentioned last update, Holdana got the Ring of Stars. Her equipment gets a few upgrades in this update and she's by far the strongest physical attacker I have. Weiner's got nothing on her.

I got a Ring of Energy for Wormwood to up his Intelligence. There's nothing too special about him, though I've given him one or two Seeds to boost his stats.

Weiner's my second strongest physical attacker, but he's not all that impressive. I get him a Bullwhip in this update which ups his damage, but he's still kind of useless.

Madame Mam is packing the Boomerang and, well, that's about it. I upped her Agility with a Ring of Readiness. I'll be picking up some new recipes for her and Wormwood over the course of this update, including one which will make my remaining fights, especially the one against Balthalas, go much easier.

I hightail it to the teleportal right away and hand over the shiny new Dilithium Crystal to the Priestess.

That's what I call an acceptable trade.
Both Holdana and Wormwood go up a level, putting them both at level 9. With a little more grinding and some new equipment, Balthalas is going to be a cakewalk.
Of course, I said that about Darmon too, and we all know how that turned out....

Alrighty then, north we go.

The teleportal I came through is the one to the south. The one I'm facing leads to an optional cave and some nice loot, but it's locked. The Rover Camp is the green spot surrounded by forest towards the top of the screen.

After some nighttime grinding, I head on in. The poor Rovers are probably just as frightened as the people of Helminsk. Their children are missing, their nights are fraught with woe, and they have no idea who could possible be behind these nefarious kidnappings.

. . .
Godamnit guys. Seriously?
Well, this is embarrassing.
I had to trek through caves, confront crime bosses, and get my ass nearly handed to me by the easiest boss in the game just to find out who took the children, and you're telling me someone already knew?
. . .
I'll be handing in my resignation ASAP.

After my little rant, I can't imagine the Rover Headman saying this in any tone but a horribly sarcastic and condescending one.

You smug bastard.

Seriously, his dialog just fits an alternative character interpretation SO well!
Every one of these lines could be put in a meme like the Condescending Wonka one.
We found the missing children ages ago, but please, go on about your superior tracking skills.
If someone makes me a Condescending Rover meme I will love them forever.

Well, let's hear all about the Prophecy.

How have they been raiding Helminsk? There's only one way across without a ship, and believe me, the guys who work for Balthalas probably couldn't work a ship, and that's through the burnt-out teleportal I just fixed.

Stupid Balthalas, breaking all the rules.

I'm sick of the Headman's sarcasm, so I steal his Tiny Medal.

The Rover Camp is packed with loot.

Oh, I forgot about this.

If I had gotten here at night, I would have been able to snag an alchemy recipe from under the dog. Looks like that will have to wait though.
I upgrade some of my equipment, investing mostly in new armor, an alchemy recipe, and a Bullwhip for Weiner.
Then, it's sidequest time.

Of course. This is actually one of the more annoying sidequests in the game, but the reward is worth it.

Let's go hunting. The Malfunctioning Machine is barely visible in this screenshot. He's the tiny butterfly hovering around the upper left-hand corner. It's hard to see because he blends in with the color of the forest.

God I hate this fight.
The Contraption runs when he gets low on health, so I'll fight him three times. He also drained all my MP on the second turn of this first battle, which left me with nothing but physical attacks to fight him with. Ugh.
I fight him one more time, and he runs one more time.

Thankfully, night falls after the second fight, so I can go pick up this.

It's not hugely useful, but I give the recipe to Madame Mam. Love Potions cause Chaos, or what most games call Confusion. There are a few fights where this comes in handy, and I have a plan involving these that might make the Balthalas fight much, much easier.

After a third fight with the Contraption, it's time for a reward.

Worth it. Very much worth it.
Madame Mam and Weiner get level ups from this, and I go on a second shopping spree, picking up more Medicinal Herbs (Now legal in the state of Washington) and a weapon upgrade for Holdana in the form of a shiny new bow.
After a rest at the Inn, it's time to pick up the Silver Key.

The Silver Key belongs to the Coolest Fisherman in the world, one of the member of the Cool Old Guys Club. I think it was some sort of requirement that Kentona put as many cool old people as he could into this game, and it paid off. They provide some of the best lines and fuzziest feelings in the whole game. The Fisherman is my personal favorite.

So of course I steal his Tiny Medal.

Both of his Tiny Medals.

And his Intellect Seed.
What can I say? I really respect the guy.
Seriously though, he's probably one of my favorite characters.
Here's the build-up to getting the Silver Key, presented without commentary because it's just so nice to read.
. . .
But mainly presented without commentary because I'm too freaking tired to say anything funny.

As a reward, we get the Silver Key.
Time to go lootin'.

First stop is the teleportal west of the Rover Camp that was locked earlier.

It spits the party out on an island way out to the north. After a brief trek through the woods, we hit a cave filled with all sorts of goodies.

I forget exactly what I picked up, but I know one of those chests is a Tarot Card and another is some gold, which is always a plus.

There's also some treasure back in the Helminsk underground, where I picked up that fake Cobra Club Card.

One of the chests here has a Voicebox, which prevents Silence. It's helpful, to say the least.

I rest a night in Helminsk and stock up on healing items before using a Warp Wing to head back north.

Balthalas Tower awaits.

The door is locked, which is why I needed the Silver Key.
Those weird purple tiles on either side of the entrance are poisoned. Stepping on them does some damage to the entire party's health. They're easily avoided now, but it's possible to fall off the tower and have to walk through the patches of poison to get back inside.

Kickass interior decorating.


These buggers are all over the place. They're immune to physical attacks, which isn't too bad since I have two dedicated spellcasters. I'll run into their counterpart later, a tough guy who's immune to magic. That will be an issue, as Holdana's really the only one with any major damage output, though Weiner will contribute a bit.

There are, of course, ladders.

I'll cut this update right here and the rest of the Tower, as well as my fight with Balthalas, will arrive on Saturday.

Next Time!
~ Ladders!
~ Children!
~ Boss Fights!
~ Prophecies!
~ The End of Chapter One! (I mean it this time!)

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