I personally think character information could be placed into a separate tab on the gamepage after it's acquired, but, that's my humble opinion.

That aside, from what information I can glean, I think what your description would then be something like...

Among the denizens of the world of Rober, are the so-called "Rober people". These are a people who have isolated themselves, and live in harmony with nature. Even so, they worship moles, and have developed a style of martial arts called "mole-fu". It is one such practitioner that this story revolves around.

Personal aside
During the era when the illegal translation of RPG Maker 2000 was what people used, the "main character" of the run-time package, Alex, was in numerous games. The other characters were secondary, at best. I felt these characters could use more important roles in generating conflicts, thus, the world of Rober was made for them.

- Rough and funny side battle (half the standard of TsuK)
- Game works with low attributes, where quests and items will give bonus grantes.
- Simple menu of quests and epic moments triggered by an item in the menu.
- System change equipment by certain parts of the enemy.
- Possibility to play with all the villains, with exclusive battles and animations as well.

...that. To be fair, I'm not 100% sure what the story of this game is. Though, the game seems to want to parody TsuK games were there's a generic story of "Alex" becoming a hero. Which probably means this game's story is generic itself, and may be self-aware of that (but not terribly so)?

Sorry, maybe I'm missing some things, but, a lot of information is being thrown at me, and maybe I'm not processing it at all correctly.

Nice man, helped me greatly. I think in making the page, thanks.
Yo! there people, I'm not much at make good description about something.(When it come to bad description I'm your man)
English is my third language (I even worst at grammar).
So anyone want to help me? please...
Below are description of my game.
Any help are very appreciated :)

Story about the world of Perang Cemen

In a world, where monsters take the forms, one boy is fated to change everything forever.

The plot starts when Lexar, hero of this story, has a dream of the god
Zukan who commands him to take up arms, become a hero worthy of him and
slay the legions of monsters that attack humans everywhere. However,
Lexar has another ideal: peace between humans and monsters, something Zukan would not approve of.

In game:
You will play as Lexar, you will aid him in his quest to make the world peace by defeat bad people and monsters as you travel in this lands of gods, you will not fight alone! there will be cute monster,human, and half-angel girls help you defeat your foes! there will be also tons of secret and side quest to uncover!

Some info about game play:
You can interact with almost everything in the game, most of them are just for fun, but try interacting with objects like chest boxes, tree, bush, and pots.

Some points about game play to read and note:
-At the start of the game, you don't have any Rp(Money name in this game). Interact with objects like the chest boxes and pots to find extra loot. Talk to Mai at Magic Shop in Tsugi City, she will give you some Rp that is very useful - so buy some new equipment before you engage in a combat! (also, some of Lexar's skills are not usable when there is no weapon equipped, note that)

-Combats are active-turn-based and every encounter you can see it in Enemy radar. You can escape anytime in normal battle(didn't work in boss or event battle) there is game over when you are defeated so be sure to escape when you need.

-In combats you have to defeat all enemy by attack them until their Hp goes to zero and you will win by default, when your party who in combat are all defeated you will see game over, there was event battle who have it's own rule like you must hit enemy once to win or you won't game over even you lose in combat and many more.

-Some negative states (such as Poison) remains even after the combat. Check your HP and inflicted states before you engage in another combat!

-Character described for combats:
Lexar : Beyond God
He can use any weapon when he feel like it, he can attack enemy with his deadly ability, sometime he also have strange ability.

Karen : Magic Dealer
She usually use bash(Staff and rods type weapon) to attack enemy, she usually damage enemy with her magic, she also have some protection spell and some skill that could make enemy confuse/def down/etc.

Karin : Damage Dealer
She skilled to use Spear to attack enemy or Gun to shoot them, most of her attack was Skill fused with elements attack, she has some magic attack but note that her Magic Attack not very strong.

Otama : Defender
She can use Instrument or claws to attack enemy, she also have skill to attack enemy, not only that she have song that could damage, poison, sleep, and many more, she also can make ally stronger in combats.

Rose : Skilled Damage Dealer
She use Sword or Axe to attack enemy, she very only have skill but that's more than enough since her skill is deadly, most of her attack is Physical but there also some that Magical but note her Mat is low.

Mira : Buff Dealer
Use Bow or Staff to attack enemy, she can do some attack spell but most of her spell used to confuse, dispel, sleep, and kind of it, her attack and magic attack not very strong, note that.

Sphinx: Both Damage Dealer
She only use knife but she can use both of them at once, she can attack enemy with magic and her magic attack is pretty strong, but note that she is has low Hp and low def be sure to check her Hp often.

Rira : Magic Defender
She use claw or bash to attack enemy, her magic attack are strong and sometime can slow enemy, she also can raise her ally defense and cause enemy numb or make them unfocused.

Mai : Most Dangerous
She only use staff or rod, she can heal ally and damage enemy with her ultra mega deadly magic attack, she also have mysterious ability, she can take one or all enemy at once.

Cecila : Monster Kill
She only use sword to attack enemy, she can damage enemy by skill or by her magic, she most of her skill are fused with elements and her magic are holy or ice, even so she strong at Physical and Magical damage.

-Maximum level for all characters is 99. To level-up, you have to collect enough EXP (experience) required for each level-up through winning combats (see in the "Status" for your character to see info about EXP and also other details)

-Equipment is specific for each character. Any character can't equip any equipment, so keep in mind.

-When Mai joins your party, a "slime" will appear somewhere and sells goods, plus some NPCs may changed a bit.

-The chest box, Wood Box(Square) mean curative items, Red Box mean equipment, Blue Box mean that box locked(only specific character can open it), Iron Box mean Rp, Gold Box mean Key Items, Green Box mean Cursed Berry, Red Box(Small) mean Skills Book/Scroll and alike, Wood Box(Chest) mean Chest of Hope or other chest maybe...?.

-The game is have plot, you have to follow the story to reach end of the game, but you will be given choice to chose what kind of end you like.
Guardian of the Description Thread
@Perang_Cemen: I would recommend putting the character information on it's own page, after the gamepage has been accepted. That aside, here's my suggestion:

In a world, where monsters take many forms, one boy is fated to change everything forever. It all begins with Lexar, who has a dream given to him by the god Zukan. In this dream, Zukan commands the boy to become his champion, and take up arms against the monsters of the land. Lexar is not entirely willing to do this, believing that humans and monsters can coexist peacefully. Is Lexar's fate tied to Zukan's will, or will he be able to choose his own path?

Notes on gameplay
-You don't start with any money. Interact with objects like chests and pots for some loot. Talking to Mai at the Magic Shop Magic Shop in Tsugi City is highly recommended, as she will give players a decent amount of pocket change!

-Some skills cannot be used unless a certain weapon is equipped!

-The color, or shape, of a chest sometimes gives a hint as to it's contents.
square wooden boxcurative item
large red boxequipment
blue boxlocked (only a certain character can open it)
iron boxmoney
gold boxkey item
green boxCursed Berry
small red boxskill book, or scroll
wooden chestChest of Hope (maybe?)

I don't know if the note about the ATB system is needed, as it depends on the engine the game is built with. I'm also not entirely certain by what you mean when you say "every encounter you can see it in Enemy radar". Does that mean encounters appear on the map, and players have to run into them, or does this refer to something else?

I don't feel like the note about victory conditions, or status conditions that persist after battle, is necessary. Hence, why I didn't include it.

I almost didn't see the other gameplay notes, as they were after the character section. Most are pretty typical things for an RPG, but, as you can see, I included the note about chests. I hope I have that info right!

*Edit: As a friendly reminder, a gamepage that has not been approved cannot be seen by the public. In fact, I believe a user would need to have administrator rights, or be listed as the game's developer, in order to access it. I may (currently) be a staff/moderator of the site, but, I'm not an admin!
@Marrend: Thank you for giving me suggestion <3, I'll try it.
This description stuff like an illusion for me, even this an illusion it's important to try...
(Well I don't mind if Admin give me suggestion tough lol I bet they to busy to do that)
my game was denied "Please either get someone to proof read your description or paste it in this thread to get help with it.

DarkAndWhite is a game about a young man who wanted to avenge own blood to satan because her grandmother had been killed by soldiers of satan

DarkAndWhite is EXTREME battle with Devil is an AWESOME RPG game, where you are a Hero who Beat other Devil in a Battle to the death.

Show yourself to the world, that you can to be the hero and save the world with your hand
revolves around a young man who would be the heroes and overcome Satan, Satan's defeat, and after that, the youth would be the King of the Kingdom of the lion, because the former King is already dead in kill, damage on Earth have recovered because Satan already does not exist.

and now the world has saved, but the danger will always exist.the hero will always emerge from generation to generation...
and the devil who wants to destroy the human race will always popping up too
Guardian of the Description Thread
Off the top of my head, I think you might want to write something like...

A young man rises to avenge the death of his grandmother by the hands of Satan's soldiers. He defeats the devil, and is praised as a hero, rising even further to become a King. Peace lasts for a generation, until Satan returns. A hero rises once again to defeat the devil. And so the cycle continues.

...this. Though, the word-count on this is barely over 300 characters, so, you'll need more for this to go through. A few questions/ideas you may want to consider:

  • Does the cycle of Satan's death and rebirth ever break in the context of the game?

  • Is the battle against Satan the only battle worthy of being mentioned?

  • What kinds of non-combat trials do the hero need to overcome before getting to Satan?

  • Does the hero have allies to rely on?

Hello, friends.
So, i have a reasonable understanding of english, but it seems that i make mistakes sometimes, as the next description has "missing words and sentence structure issues". I don't have idea what to change, could someone help-me?
Thank you in advance.

The description:

It's the year 1691. Dracula's castle rises at the sky of Transylvania. Being the wielder of the Vampire Killer, the holy whip which grants the ability to his user to fight the creatures of the night, Simon Belmont sets on a journey through the halls of Castlevania, fighting a number of different enemies, as ghosts, zombies, bats, and the like.
Simon's main objective is to destroy Dracula and live a quiet life after that, but it may not be possible...
Simon is cursed after his final fight against Dracula, and at his last breath, the evil Count throws a curse at Simon. The curse affects not only him, but all of Transylvania, so it is up to him to travel the transylvanian countryside looking for a way to end the curse of Dracula, once and for all.
About the gameplay:

There's not only the classic action-adventure aspect, as it is seen in the original games, as there's rpg aspects and changes to certain game mechanics to better adapt to the engine and keep the challenge fresh. As an example: the possibility to maneuver Simon and try to dodge enemies, as the area of action is not just a 2d plane, but a "bird-view" that still keeps the feel of a side-scroller.

The second part of the game was re-worked to have a better flow and be a challenging adventure, but keeping the feel of the world from his original counterpart.
Guardian of the Description Thread
My suggestion would be something like...

In the year 1691, Dracula's castle has risen to the skies of Transylvania. Simon Belmont, wielder of the Vampire Killer, set on a journey through the halls of the dreaded castle, his objective to destroy it's master.

He succeeds in this task, but, Dracula cursed the warrior with his last breath. This curse not only affects him, but the entire Transylvanian countryside. Now, Simon must find a way to remove the curse.

As expected of a Castlevanina fan-game, expect the classic action-adventure aspect. However, various RPG aspects will be included, as well as changes to certain game mechanics, to better adapt to the engine and keep the challenge fresh. Such as the ability to maneuver Simon in an attempt to dodge enemies. Note that the area of action is not a traditional 2D plane, but uses a "bird's eye view" that still keeps the feel of a side-scroller.

The second part of the game was re-worked to have a better flow, and be a challenging adventure, yet still keeping with the feel of the world from the original games.

...this. Though, I fear I could be missing some details of the story here. I pretty much started with Symphony of the Night on PS1. Anything before that is hazy at best.
Thank you for your help! It really looks well thought and more organized.
I'm going to resubmit to see if it's accepted.
My game haven't been reviewed yet. But maybe, someone could give some review? So I won't resubmit it back if it denied. Here

This is a continuation from the previous game, Eremidia Dungeon : Skyward Temple. The story contains a spoiler of how the ending from the prequel. Open at your own risk

Three young people bravely explore an unexplored ruin called the Skyward Temple. It is an abandoned temple known well as the Temple of the Dragons, and is located in the Eastern Realm of Eremidia. In order to capture the high-value artifact Skyglyph. After some fierce battles during their exploration, they managed to reach the last floor just to find out that the Skyglyph was a fake. They were being trapped by a sealing magic that threw them into another world, the Astral Plane.

They found them self in a completely different world. Wandering aimlessly without a single clue. Until they stumbled upon a sanctuary where some living creatures lives. Not going to take a risk, our trio decided to stay on the sanctuary helping people while trying to find a way to get out from the Astral Plane.

Can you help them find their way back to their world?

  • Turn Based Sideview Battle System
  • Two Rows System -- Skill sets will be different if you put the character at the back or front row. Allow more strategic battle
  • Free Turn Battles -- The actor will instantly act as you execute commands.
  • Skill level and skill point -- Earn point by level up, unlock or upgrade the existing skill. Unleash the potential of your character
  • Limited Visibility -- Lighting effects that add the atmosphere of a dungeon crawler.
  • Skill Cooldown -- Restricts the ability to execute the same skill twice!
  • Action Points (AP) Instead of MP -- Don't be worried to ever run out of MP!
  • Fast Paced Battles -- Enemies will deal huge damages, but you will also have the ability to heal your characters quickly!
  • Encounter unique enemies -- Each enemy has its very own pattern and weakness!
Guardian of the Description Thread
If you're looking to have the description reviewed, this is the place to go. For a game review, there is a thread for that, if not two.

As for the wording of the description, my thoughts are along the lines of...

Three young people bravely explored a ruin called the Skyward Temple in order to obtain an artifact of great value: the Skyglyph. Also known as the Temple of the Dragons, and is located in the eastern realm of Eremidia. After some fierce battles during their exploration, they managed to reach the last floor to find out that the Skyglyph was a fake. They were trapped by a magical seal that threw them into the Astral Plane.

There, they wandered aimlessly without a single clue until they stumbled upon a sanctuary where some manner of living creatures lives. Not going to take a risk, the trio decided to stay in the sanctuary, helping people, while trying to find a way to get out from the Astral Plane. Can you help them find their way back to their world?

This game is a direct sequel to Eremidia Dungeon: Skyward Temple. As such, it is largely assumed that players have played that game first.

-Turn Based Sideview Battle System
-Row System: Skill sets will be different if you put the character at the back or front row. Allows for more strategic battles.
-Free Turn Battles: The actor will instantly act as you execute commands.
-Skill points: Earn these by leveling up. Unlock, or upgrade, existing skills. Unleash the potential of your character!
-Limited Visibility: Lighting effects that add the atmosphere of a dungeon crawler.
-Skill Cooldowns: Restricts the ability to execute the same skill twice!
-Action Points: Actions use AP, instead of MP, which are recharged each round.
-Fast Paced Battles: Enemies will deal huge damage, but you will also have the ability to heal your characters quickly!
-Encounter unique enemies: Each enemy has its very own pattern and weakness!

...this? I admit that what I wrote for AP is a guess, but, it probably works something like that!
Hey, thanks. The introduction that the game is a direct sequel sounds better now. And yes, AP recharged each turn. You're not wrong there. I think I'm gonna use this.
Hello. Let me know if I'm breaking any bylaws or if I have to sacrifice baby goats in order to make this work. Essentially I just want someone to tell me what it is I'm doing wrong just by looking at my page description. My instinct is telling me that people will look at it and think "This uses RTP, gross" and find something probably more interesting. (It's certainly not my defeatist attitude, naturally). So yeah. Be as harsh as you want/need to be.

Guardian of the Description Thread
If your worry is that people are going to look at your images first, and skip over your game because it uses "ugly RTP", I feel that you're thinking about an audience that you're not catering to in the first place. Form what I can gather of your gamepage, the kind of audience you're looking for is players that are more into games for their story. To that end, I think... the gamepage (and it's description) is fine as-is?

That is the target audience.

But here is the million dollar follow-up. Were you compelled to download and try my game out because of said description page?
i clicked that link, and found out i already downloaded that game some time ago. Guess I'll bump this game to the top of my "next game to play" slot.

(which meant I liked what I saw on the page enough to download it)
When I open the page and check the sidebar images, I immediately think it's going to be a game where I spend forever wandering around on bog-standard emptyish maps. I can't tell what the gameplay is without scrolling down to the bottom of the (long) page. It looks very strongly like a "learning RM" game and that the custom graphics are minimalist doesn't help that impression.

This is really gratifying to hear, thank you.


Thank you. This does help me understand what I need to work on.
Guardian of the Description Thread
That is the target audience.

But here is the million dollar follow-up. Were you compelled to download and try my game out because of said description page?

For what it's worth, I probably wouldn't mind giving it a spin if I had more time on my hands.
Hello, I'm planning to post my new project soon (As soon as I get a demo up), and I really need help for its story's writing and description in advance. ^_^

Here it is (It's gonna be quite a long read, I'm sorry):

After the great Xerian war, the galaxy of Xerxes was divided into four Sectors. The entire galaxy is ruled by the High King, Arcturo Rave.

Sector 1 is inhabited mostly by Humans and Draconians (Reptilians). This sector is ruled by Count Vorakia Estuuban, a Draconian high-born of planet Niredia. Sector 1 is rich in terrestrial minerals. The sector is also known for their political culture where most inhabitants put authority at a very high regard.

Sector 2 is inhabited by non-humanoid creatures such as the Granian (Grey) and Gulanian (Green) aliens. This sector is known for the inhabitants' hard work on research, technological advancements and new galactic discoveries. Sector 2 is a free one. None of them governs it, but everyone works together in unison.

Sector 3 is inhabited mostly by half-humanoid beings such as the Kuni (Cat-like beings), the Farians (Purple-skinned) and the Somaki (Mysterious masked aliens). This sector is governed by Tajuma Hulei of planet Vismel, a wise Kunian woman. The sector is known for its rich culture, in fact, the Kunians are usually the first ones to host Galactic Festivals.

Sector 4 is inhabited mostly by Aryans (blue/green haired humanoids). This sector is very popular for the Aryans that are born with psychic powers. These individuals are called the "Ciphers." The sector is ruled by the High King of Xerxes himself, Arcturo Rave. They have a clean and strict government. Most inhabitants here are very wise and discerning when it comes to their Political culture. Arcturo Rave was considered the perfect ruler of Xerxes when he emerged victorious from an invasion attempt on the galaxy during the Xerian war.

Year 212 A.XW. The Draconian Count, Vorakia Estuuban, has sponsored the merging of House Rave and House Zephyr, two of the most influential houses from Sector 1 (Zephyr) and Sector 4 (Rave). The merging of houses seeks the marriage between Princess Ellemine Rave, daughter of the High King, and Prince Chad Zephyr, son of Lord Falric Zephyr. The High King willingly agreed on this merging; for, he wishes to finally put an end to the heated conflict that Sector 1 and Sector 4 had in the past.

Unfortunately, the Count isn’t as trustworthy as the High King thought he would be.

Meanwhile, a young Aryan Cipher named “Klein”, personal body-guard of Princess Ellemine, finds himself caught up in this twist of unfavorable events, fighting for the honor of House Rave, and changing his life forever.

Page Description:
Journey into the galaxy of Xerxes and enter the life of a young Aryan Cipher named “Klein”. He finds himself caught up in a galactic feud between the Aryans and the Draconians. As bodyguard to the Aryan Princess of House Rave, he must do everything in his power to fight for the honor of House Rave.

Along the way, Klein re-opens fragments of his dark past, piece by piece. Will he be able to withstand the heat of this brewing war, while his past haunts him?

Thank you so much! I would really appreciate it so! ^_^