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LET'S WORK ON YOUR GAME DESCRIPTIONS!
Posts
Marrend
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CloseMy head is a little achy from a separate matter. However, I think I can manage something for you. If we take the text as-is, and revise it a bit for clarity, spelling, and punctuation, we should have something like...
...this. Though, I suppose I did a touch of embellishing at the end, there.
A long time ago, before space and time existed, there were two gods: the Goddess of Life, Velfaiz, and the God of Darkness, Othos. They lived in harmony until one day, Velfaiz created a form of life that was blasphemous to Othos. Thus, a great war started.
The Goddess, along with her first born creations of humans, orcs, vijin, and vorfvs, where, at first, overwhelmed. She then gave them a gift known as Gaia Gear to fight back Othos, and his dark shades.
In the end, Velfaiz sacrificed herself to seal Othos away, and piece was restored to Eden. But, as to how long that piece would last, none could say.
...this. Though, I suppose I did a touch of embellishing at the end, there.
KenzoMe92
15
I got said my description needs some work with grammar/punctuation, i'm adding it here under a quote just to keep it in one place:
Plot: A young guy, living in a mountain village, during a common day discovers some items from a past time, following up with some investigations, he will get to know some of the past heroes and understand from them how they became heroes, the guy will face some difficulties and hard choices on the road to (maybe) one day become a new Hero himself.
Gameplay: Players will be able to choose the name of the playable characters (only the first time they appear), the battle system will be a sideview with ATB (only in active mode for now..), the game will be saved on one single slot once the game has started, plus one more extra slot for the autosave, there's a Zodiac/Nature system (as in status screen) which may make the game harder or easier, adding the taste of strategy to find workarounds to disadvantages in battles
A quick fix (and, perhaps, a bit of embellishment on my part) might look more like...
...this. I'm not sure if you need to mention that the game has side-view, if one of your images is a battle scene. The point about ATB, is certainly information that is good to know (does one of your screenshots relay this?), as is the point about there only being one file to hard-save with. The ability to name characters is something I personally don't care for. However, I hope you put that into consideration when writing the dialogs for the game in respect to possible text cut-offs!
*Edit: Before I forget, I want to clarify that the "time capsule" term I'm using is supposed to refer to this, and not an item, or devise, that concerns with with traveling through time in the vein of Doctor Who, or what-not.
Story:
A young man, who lives in a mountain village, unwittingly discovers a time capsule from an unknown era. With a bit of investigation, he uncovers facts about the owners of the contents, and their long forgotten, yet still heroic, deeds. He might need the lessons of the past, as he will come face-to-face with decisions that, perhaps, may one day lead to him being a hero, himself.
Gameplay:
Similar to Chrono Trigger, players will be able to name various characters that appear in the game when they make their first appearance. The game will eventually include a full-featured ATB with both Wait and Active mode. Save slots will be limited to one normal save, and one auto-save. There will also be a Zodaic/Nature system to make certain parts of the game easier or harder, adding an extra layer of strategy to battles.
...this. I'm not sure if you need to mention that the game has side-view, if one of your images is a battle scene. The point about ATB, is certainly information that is good to know (does one of your screenshots relay this?), as is the point about there only being one file to hard-save with. The ability to name characters is something I personally don't care for. However, I hope you put that into consideration when writing the dialogs for the game in respect to possible text cut-offs!
*Edit: Before I forget, I want to clarify that the "time capsule" term I'm using is supposed to refer to this, and not an item, or devise, that concerns with with traveling through time in the vein of Doctor Who, or what-not.
KenzoMe92
15
nice fix, even if i only have the active ATB (til i can't make a switchable version) about eventual cut-offs.. MZ offers a prebuilt namebox to avoid that problem.
for the "time capsule" thing, nice idea i haven't thought of ^^
for the "time capsule" thing, nice idea i haven't thought of ^^
Tw0Face
5579
Story of my newest game which tells the background story of my world in chronological order. Any corrections, rewrites, spelling checks (even minor changes) are more than welcome as I'm not a native speaker and thus reliant on feedback to be sure everything is fine.
1. Heroes of the early days
Long before the realm of the three suns, kingdom of
the ancient Traventor, was founded, the dragons
ruled over large parts of the country. It was a
land that was uninhabitable for many decades and
was avoided by humans, elves, dwarves and other
creatures alike. With the first settlers, however,
came the first heroes brave enough to go into
battle against the dragons.
2. The rise of Traventor
In a war that lasted for years, humans and elves
managed to stop the dragons with united forces and
drive them out of the land. The times of danger
were over and peace returned, which should last for
a long time. Further decades passed until the
foundation of the Capital, which made the land of
Traventor a popular trade and economic route.
3.Mont Sindorin and the Harpies
The dragons, now severely decimated and almost
extinct, retreated to the mountain range of Mont
Sindorin, where the Harpies had established their
small empire far from humanity. A severe territorial
war broke out between the feathered women and the
dragons, which led to the Harpies giving up their
lands and fleeing.
4. Evening of the crimson sky
On the evening of the crimson sky, huge swarms of
Harpies were seen fleeing inland, but the dragons
followed them to the Capital of the humans and
attacked them. The king's army had nothing to
oppose the surprise attack of the dragons. The
Capital burned to the ground, thousands of humans
and elves died in that night.
5. Harbingers of hellfire
Since that night, Harpies are considered messengers
of misfortune and destruction, harbingers of the
devastating hellfire on the Capital of Traventor.
Since then, they're equally avoided, hated and
despised by humans, dwarves and every other being.
Long before the realm of the three suns, kingdom of
the ancient Traventor, was founded, the dragons
ruled over large parts of the country. It was a
land that was uninhabitable for many decades and
was avoided by humans, elves, dwarves and other
creatures alike. With the first settlers, however,
came the first heroes brave enough to go into
battle against the dragons.
2. The rise of Traventor
In a war that lasted for years, humans and elves
managed to stop the dragons with united forces and
drive them out of the land. The times of danger
were over and peace returned, which should last for
a long time. Further decades passed until the
foundation of the Capital, which made the land of
Traventor a popular trade and economic route.
3.Mont Sindorin and the Harpies
The dragons, now severely decimated and almost
extinct, retreated to the mountain range of Mont
Sindorin, where the Harpies had established their
small empire far from humanity. A severe territorial
war broke out between the feathered women and the
dragons, which led to the Harpies giving up their
lands and fleeing.
4. Evening of the crimson sky
On the evening of the crimson sky, huge swarms of
Harpies were seen fleeing inland, but the dragons
followed them to the Capital of the humans and
attacked them. The king's army had nothing to
oppose the surprise attack of the dragons. The
Capital burned to the ground, thousands of humans
and elves died in that night.
5. Harbingers of hellfire
Since that night, Harpies are considered messengers
of misfortune and destruction, harbingers of the
devastating hellfire on the Capital of Traventor.
Since then, they're equally avoided, hated and
despised by humans, dwarves and every other being.
Recragnae
44
Apparently my description needs some grammar/punctation help.
"Warning: This game is not suitable for children and people who are easily disturbed.
Waking up in the middle of classroom wondering what happened. Then going trough nightmarigh twisted place that used to be school just to meet the possible cause of all of this in front of the entrance...
This is more or less The Crawling Impossibilities. It's plot is rather vague and unclear, especially if you get the more serious ending.
This game is short, and by that I mean very short. You can beat it in literally few minutes, though it's worth to spend a little bit more time on it because of few bonuses connected to Esc/X pressing event and one luck based bonus in the first classrooms.
There are 4 endings, each sick in a different way. "
"Warning: This game is not suitable for children and people who are easily disturbed.
Waking up in the middle of classroom wondering what happened. Then going trough nightmarigh twisted place that used to be school just to meet the possible cause of all of this in front of the entrance...
This is more or less The Crawling Impossibilities. It's plot is rather vague and unclear, especially if you get the more serious ending.
This game is short, and by that I mean very short. You can beat it in literally few minutes, though it's worth to spend a little bit more time on it because of few bonuses connected to Esc/X pressing event and one luck based bonus in the first classrooms.
There are 4 endings, each sick in a different way. "
@KenzoMe92: I was talking more about writing the customizable names in the actual dialog boxes, rather than the name-boxes. I suppose it's possible to avoid calling people by their names, though? Depends on the game.
@Tw0Face: I don't quite have the wherewithal to deal with that wall of text at the moment. I hope to get back to you later today, though.
@Recragnae: I think the writing could use a bit of clarity. For instance...
*Edit: So, Tw0face. I have...
1. Heroes of the Early Days
Long before the Realm of the Three Suns, the kingdom of ancient Traventor was founded. The dragons ruled over large parts of the country. It was a land that was uninhabitable for many decades and was avoided by humans, elves, dwarves, and other creatures alike. With the first settlers, however, came the first heroes brave enough to go into battle against the dragons.
2. The Rise of Traventor
In a war that lasted for years, humans and elves managed to stop the dragons with united forces and drive them out of the land. The times of danger were over, and peace returned, which lasted for a long time. Decades passed until the foundation of the capital, which made the land of Traventor a popular location for trade, and similar economic routes.
3.Mont Sindorin and the Harpies
The dragons, now severely decimated and almost extinct, retreated to the mountain range of Mont Sindorin. Harpies had already established their small empire, far from humanity, there. Thus, a severe territorial war broke out between the feathered women and the dragons, which led to the Harpies giving up their lands and fleeing.
4. Evening of the Crimson Sky
On the Evening of the Crimson Sky, huge swarms of Harpies were seen fleeing inland. The dragons followed them to the capital of the humans, and attacked them. The king's army had nothing to oppose the surprise attack of the dragons. The capital, burned to the ground, with thousands of humans and elves dying in that night.
5. Harbingers of Hellfire
Since then, Harpies were considered messengers of misfortune and destruction. Harbingers of the devastating hellfire on the capital of Traventor. They're equally avoided, hated, and despised by humans, dwarves, and all other manner of living being.
...a little something for you.
@Tw0Face: I don't quite have the wherewithal to deal with that wall of text at the moment. I hope to get back to you later today, though.
@Recragnae: I think the writing could use a bit of clarity. For instance...
You wake up in the middle of a classroom, wondering what happened. As you traverse the school, the place twists and turns into a nightmarish place. The cause of it all, waiting for you at the front entrance....this is the kind of thing I would suggest for you, given what you've presented.
This is, more or less, The Crawling Impossibilities. There will be vague and uncertain points about the game, especially if you obtain one of the more serious endings.
This game is not suitable for children, of for those who are easily disturbed!
Aside from that, it takes mere minutes to complete. There are certain bonuses connected to timed button-presses, and a bonus that can be obtained by a strictly luck-based test within the first classroom you visit.
*Edit: So, Tw0face. I have...
1. Heroes of the Early Days
Long before the Realm of the Three Suns, the kingdom of ancient Traventor was founded. The dragons ruled over large parts of the country. It was a land that was uninhabitable for many decades and was avoided by humans, elves, dwarves, and other creatures alike. With the first settlers, however, came the first heroes brave enough to go into battle against the dragons.
2. The Rise of Traventor
In a war that lasted for years, humans and elves managed to stop the dragons with united forces and drive them out of the land. The times of danger were over, and peace returned, which lasted for a long time. Decades passed until the foundation of the capital, which made the land of Traventor a popular location for trade, and similar economic routes.
3.Mont Sindorin and the Harpies
The dragons, now severely decimated and almost extinct, retreated to the mountain range of Mont Sindorin. Harpies had already established their small empire, far from humanity, there. Thus, a severe territorial war broke out between the feathered women and the dragons, which led to the Harpies giving up their lands and fleeing.
4. Evening of the Crimson Sky
On the Evening of the Crimson Sky, huge swarms of Harpies were seen fleeing inland. The dragons followed them to the capital of the humans, and attacked them. The king's army had nothing to oppose the surprise attack of the dragons. The capital, burned to the ground, with thousands of humans and elves dying in that night.
5. Harbingers of Hellfire
Since then, Harpies were considered messengers of misfortune and destruction. Harbingers of the devastating hellfire on the capital of Traventor. They're equally avoided, hated, and despised by humans, dwarves, and all other manner of living being.
...a little something for you.
Darn I thought this time I'd actually would of made a good description of the game without spoiling things, tho maybe it is a little too vague
The name of the game is Douleur, also might of been a little redundant with the suffering and PAIN
In an unknown dimension where the only sure thing is suffering and PAIN, a small bird boy has finally had enough, countless days of insomnia has caused poor Picore to finally snap and take a decision, in order to ensure everyone can rest, and more specifically YOU can rest, you'll have to finally get rid of the one, you'll have to kill GOD.
You'll have to set deep into the palace where God himself is said to reside, but it's not so simple, for there's still a long way to get to the bastards, and tons of creatures who think of your species as easy pickings, are you determined enough to do what's right and end of the suffering of the world?
DOULEUR is a short RPG inspired mainly by the likes of Space Funeral, Off and Yume Nikki and not so heavily by other games such as Korkolonit and Neru, the main gameplay consists of regular turn based battles, simple puzzle solving and a little bit of exploration towards the end, the artstyle and themes of the game are mainly inspired by Off and Space Funeral.
The name of the game is Douleur, also might of been a little redundant with the suffering and PAIN
In an unknown dimension where the only sure thing is suffering and PAIN, a small bird boy has finally had enough, countless days of insomnia has caused poor Picore to finally snap and take a decision, in order to ensure everyone can rest, and more specifically YOU can rest, you'll have to finally get rid of the one, you'll have to kill GOD.
You'll have to set deep into the palace where God himself is said to reside, but it's not so simple, for there's still a long way to get to the bastards, and tons of creatures who think of your species as easy pickings, are you determined enough to do what's right and end of the suffering of the world?
DOULEUR is a short RPG inspired mainly by the likes of Space Funeral, Off and Yume Nikki and not so heavily by other games such as Korkolonit and Neru, the main gameplay consists of regular turn based battles, simple puzzle solving and a little bit of exploration towards the end, the artstyle and themes of the game are mainly inspired by Off and Space Funeral.
Off the top of my head, there's a few points where commas could probably be replaced by periods. The result would end up looking a little like...
...this. Though, the stylistic choice of capitalizing male pronouns when referring to "God" may be more a point of religious/Biblical reference/reverence.
In an unknown dimension where the only sure thing is suffering and pain, you, a small bird boy named Picore, has finally had enough. Countless days of insomnia has caused you to finally snap, and make a decision. In order to ensure everyone, especially you, can rest, you'll have to finally get rid of the one preventing it. You'll have to kill God.
You'll have to set deep into the palace where God, Himself, is said to reside. Obviously, it's not that simple, for there's a long way to get to Him, and tons of creatures who think of your species as easy pickings. Are you determined enough to do what's right and end of the suffering of the world?
Douleur is a short RPG, inspired mainly by the likes of Space Funeral, OFF and Yume Nikki, the latter of those two being the main inspirations for the game's art style. The main gameplay consists of turn based battles, simple puzzle solving, and a little bit of exploration towards the end.
...this. Though, the stylistic choice of capitalizing male pronouns when referring to "God" may be more a point of religious/Biblical reference/reverence.
The only thing I am kinda of hesitant on the description is the use of You since I don't really want people to put themselves in the shoes of my characters, they're either like too extravagant and do weird things or they're like Satan in flesh so I'd rather not do that, and like yeah I might be like custom to put like the player for ref but I think I might have to change that little more
-Not the exact exact thing but I hope this is better, I usually tend to use more commas since to me it all connects, so maybe that's like an issue on me.
In an unknown dimension where the only sure thing is pain, a small bird boy named Picore has finally had enough. Countless days of insomnia has caused Picore to snap, now in order to ensure everyone in Dolores, especially him, can rest, he'll have to finally get rid of God.
You'll have to set deep into the palace where God, himself, is said to reside. Obviously, it's not that simple, for there's a long way to get to him, and tons of creatures who think of your species as easy pickings. Are you determined enough to do what's "right" and end of the suffering of the world? Maybe you'll even find out how it all got so bad.
Douleur is a short RPG, inspired mainly by the likes of Space Funeral, OFF and Yume Nikki, the latter of those two being the main inspirations for the game's art style. The main gameplay consists of turn based battles, simple puzzle solving, and a little bit of exploration towards the end.
-Not the exact exact thing but I hope this is better, I usually tend to use more commas since to me it all connects, so maybe that's like an issue on me.
Not the exact exact thing but I hope this is better, I usually tend to use more commas since to me it all connects, so maybe that's like an issue on me.
Right here is a good example of a sentence that should be split up into multiple sentences. Commas are short pauses, yes. However, the end-of-sentence punctuation, (ie: periods, exclamations, and question marks) provide a bit more breathing room. Literally. One trick is to try and say what you wrote, and notice where you pause. That sentence might come out a little more like...
Not the exact exact thing, but, I hope this is better. I usually tend to use more commas, since to me, it all connects. So, maybe, that's, like, an issue for me.
...this. Give or take! In that regard...
In an unknown dimension where the only sure thing is pain, a small bird boy named Picore has finally had enough. Countless days of insomnia has caused Picore to snap. Now, in order to ensure everyone in Dolores, especially him, can rest, he'll have to finally get rid of God.
You'll have to set deep into the palace where God, himself, is said to reside. Obviously, it's not that simple, for there's a long way to get to him, and tons of creatures who think of your species as easy pickings. Are you determined enough to do what's "right" and end of the suffering of the world? Maybe you'll even find out how it all got so bad?
...this would be my slight revision to the main portion of your description.
Recragnae
44
@Marrend
*I'm not sure if I should be sorry for late respond*
I'll try with that, but I have few questions.
Luck-based bonus is a chance for something to happen when you walk into classroom and go to the back, does your part in description means that or is it misunderstanding because I wrote something unclear? I'm not native speaker, and I'm not sure about this part.
Just for case I'd change it for
Second thing that maybe doesn't need to be written up but is, I have similar doubts about using of "You" like NikkyoConsortium, but less and with slightly different reasons.
You see, it fits perfectly to a nameless generic protagonist, but there's moments where this protagonist becomes part of the horror due to weird/freaky actions or gestures that kinda lightly breaks 4th wall like propability of staring directly at player after pressing a button. And now I think, should it affect description or it doesn't matter because such a stuff is supposed to surprise palyer?
*I'm not sure if I should be sorry for late respond*
I'll try with that, but I have few questions.
Luck-based bonus is a chance for something to happen when you walk into classroom and go to the back, does your part in description means that or is it misunderstanding because I wrote something unclear? I'm not native speaker, and I'm not sure about this part.
Just for case I'd change it for
bonus that can be obtained in a strictly luck-based way in a few classrooms nearest start location.Correct me please if there's anything wrong with this change I made.
Second thing that maybe doesn't need to be written up but is, I have similar doubts about using of "You" like NikkyoConsortium, but less and with slightly different reasons.
You see, it fits perfectly to a nameless generic protagonist, but there's moments where this protagonist becomes part of the horror due to weird/freaky actions or gestures that kinda lightly breaks 4th wall like propability of staring directly at player after pressing a button. And now I think, should it affect description or it doesn't matter because such a stuff is supposed to surprise palyer?
Tw0Face
5579
author=Marrend
*Edit: So, Tw0face. I have(...)a little something for you.
You're the best, Marrend. Thanks a lot.
@Recragnae: On the point about the "luck-based bonus", I think my assumption was that it was a bonus that relied on the player's LUCK stat to some degree. Or, if your game didn't use stats, whatever check that does occur would only occur once. If it can trigger each time you enter the room, I think I would word it more like...
...this? The wording can be misleading here, as some people might interpret that to mean that the bonus can be obtained multiple times, if they are blessed by RNGsus. Which probably isn't the case! I'll have to give it a bit more thought.
As for the use of the "you" pronoun, I mostly used it in my description because...
...missing comma aside, there needs to be a subject for a "who" that is waking up in this sentence. Perhaps one can avoid the "you" that I used later on...
...like so. However, if it's written that way, I still feel the expectation is that there would be a follow-up of "It waits for you." Or, perhaps, a "Will you be prepared for it's trial?" The latter might be a better fit for what you're aiming for. However, if you have somebody waking up, yes, you absolutely need to have some kind of subject for "who" there.
...a bonus that can be present at random each time you visit the starting classroom.
...this? The wording can be misleading here, as some people might interpret that to mean that the bonus can be obtained multiple times, if they are blessed by RNGsus. Which probably isn't the case! I'll have to give it a bit more thought.
As for the use of the "you" pronoun, I mostly used it in my description because...
Waking up in the middle of classroom wondering what happened.
...missing comma aside, there needs to be a subject for a "who" that is waking up in this sentence. Perhaps one can avoid the "you" that I used later on...
The cause of it all seems to be awaiting at the front entrance.
...like so. However, if it's written that way, I still feel the expectation is that there would be a follow-up of "It waits for you." Or, perhaps, a "Will you be prepared for it's trial?" The latter might be a better fit for what you're aiming for. However, if you have somebody waking up, yes, you absolutely need to have some kind of subject for "who" there.
Right here is a good example of a sentence that should be split up into multiple sentences. Commas are short pauses, yes. However, the end-of-sentence punctuation, (ie: periods, exclamations, and question marks) provide a bit more breathing room. Literally. One trick is to try and say what you wrote, and notice where you pause. That sentence might come out a little more like...
Oh, I think I get the idea more like now. I really do struggle lot when using periods and commas, that tip of diving where you would pause seems so obvious now. I hope now that I know this I won't be as rambly when writing things down or in this case abuse commas so much when I don't need to.
In an unknown dimension where the only sure thing is pain, a small bird boy named Picore has finally had enough. Countless days of insomnia has caused Picore to snap. Now, in order to ensure everyone in Dolores, especially him, can rest, he'll have to finally get rid of God.
You'll have to set deep into the palace where God, himself, is said to reside. Obviously, it's not that simple, for there's a long way to get to him, and tons of creatures who think of your species as easy pickings. Are you determined enough to do what's "right" and end of the suffering of the world? Maybe you'll even find out how it all got so bad?
...this would be my slight revision to the main portion of your description.
Oh, I think I'll definitely use this one, thank for helping me Marrend. uwu
Recragnae
44
author=Marrend
@Recragnae: On the point about the "luck-based bonus", I think my assumption was that it was a bonus that relied on the player's LUCK stat to some degree. Or, if your game didn't use stats, whatever check that does occur would only occur once. If it can trigger each time you enter the room, I think I would word it more like...
...a bonus that can be present at random each time you visit the starting classroom.
...this? The wording can be misleading here, as some people might interpret that to mean that the bonus can be obtained multiple times, if they are blessed by RNGsus. Which probably isn't the case! I'll have to give it a bit more thought.
Thank you, I didn't think about that. Though it can occur only once in meaning that if it happens it won't happen again. But I didn't think that my words can suggest using LUCK stat, silly me.
author=MarrendWaking up in the middle of classroom wondering what happened.
...missing comma aside, there needs to be a subject for a "who" that is waking up in this sentence. Perhaps one can avoid the "you" that I used later on...
The cause of it all seems to be awaiting at the front entrance.
...like so. However, if it's written that way, I still feel the expectation is that there would be a follow-up of "It waits for you." Or, perhaps, a "Will you be prepared for it's trial?" The latter might be a better fit for what you're aiming for. However, if you have somebody waking up, yes, you absolutely need to have some kind of subject for "who" there.
Yes, if I start with "You play as a girl who wakes up" instead of "You wakes up" and follow this, that helps to express that on one hand there's division between player and protagonist and on the other hand there's too little character building and story to use protagonist's perspective.
Depending on how much you want to avoid using the "you" pronoun, consider writing...
...this instead? I might also considering leaving out mentioning the bonus that spawns at random in the first class room. I don't know what the chances of it spawning are, nor how often players would visit the first classroom for it to spawn, should it not have been spawned/obtained on first visit. I also don't know what the bonus consists of either. However, maybe having players find it themselves might be considered an easter egg?
She awakens in the middle of a classroom, wondering what happened.
...this instead? I might also considering leaving out mentioning the bonus that spawns at random in the first class room. I don't know what the chances of it spawning are, nor how often players would visit the first classroom for it to spawn, should it not have been spawned/obtained on first visit. I also don't know what the bonus consists of either. However, maybe having players find it themselves might be considered an easter egg?
Recragnae
44
@Marrend
I'm fine with using "You" a little bit.
This bonus is kind of a secret room. I'd normally not mention this bonuses consider them an easter eggs, but I thought that when getting specific ending requires this easter egg maybe it's better to write down there is such a thing.
I'm fine with using "You" a little bit.
author=Marrend
I might also considering leaving out mentioning the bonus that spawns at random in the first class room. I don't know what the chances of it spawning are, nor how often players would visit the first classroom for it to spawn, should it not have been spawned/obtained on first visit. I also don't know what the bonus consists of either. However, maybe having players find it themselves might be considered an easter egg?
This bonus is kind of a secret room. I'd normally not mention this bonuses consider them an easter eggs, but I thought that when getting specific ending requires this easter egg maybe it's better to write down there is such a thing.
If getting the bonus is considered a requirement to achieve an ending, and the bonus is generated at completely random... I dunno. I kinda want to call BS on that? However, again, it might depend on how much it relies on RNG that it gets generated, and how often that RNG occurs within the context of how often players would visit that room. However, that's more a subject about game mechanics, and this is a description thread!
So, if you want to be up-front about what the bonus is, and how it could work, my current suggestion is along the lines of...
...this?
So, if you want to be up-front about what the bonus is, and how it could work, my current suggestion is along the lines of...
...a bonus that can be present at random each time you visit the starting classroom (note: it no longer spawns after being obtained).
...this?
