^What do you wish for?

Fine, I'll assume you wished to become a turkey.
And that is granted. You are now a turkey for life (which shouldn't be that long, since the holidays are approaching). Enjoy.

I wish for a sane dream for once...
Granted, your dreams are so sane and real that
you start confusing them with reality, you remember people
that never existed, places you have never been, you even
confuse life with TV shows, you try to break your brother out of prision,
start cooking methanpetamine on your RV, and you visit a mysterious island.

You end up like all the main characters in those series, dead.

I wish for the perfect wish.
Granted, but perfect wish is an oxymoron, so by wishing that you have torn apart the fabric of the space-time continuum.

As you stand alone in the void, a single tear drops from your eye, before you fade with everything else.

I wish For a Batman TV series that rivals the Quality of Batman TAS
Granted. You wished for one bullet. It was fired from a gun right to your skull.

I wish that I lived in a world of anime.

Your wish is my command, but Goku ate all of your food and you starve to death.

I wish that all people in world had a sex change.
Granted. Everyone underwent sex change surgery. Now all of humanity is sterile, and all we can do is wait for the human race to die off. Good one.

I wish I had the power to turn things into chocolate
Granted! All you touch turns into chocolate! Your furniture, your friends, even your beloved games all turn into chocolate. You eat enough to develop an allergy to cacoa, though, so you either have to starve alone slowly, or choke to death.

I wish I could speak and understand all languages
Granted but you keep confusing them,
So much that you create your very own language,
The only bad thing about this is that you're the only one
who knows it.
You're so lonely that you decide to kill yourself.

I wish to be a dragonborn.
Granted, but you try to take on a dragon one your first day. This obviously didn't end well. You have died!

I was for things AND stuff.
No problem, but once you obtained things AND stuff things became cluster fucked and you couldn't figure out how to sort them. Thus putting you in a deep depression causing you to lose your mind and somehow thinking you could microwave a toaster and that caused your house blew up.......... killing you.

I wish I could smoke a blunt with Puff The Magic Dragon.
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
Granted, though of course to be able to see PTMD you had to smoke an insane amount first, as he's fictional. That being said, once you do, the only thing you can think about is going for a dragon-back ride fall to your death from the top of an 8 storey building.

I wish I had a magical cup that filled itself with whatever beverage I wanted whenever I wanted it.
Granted. Though you failed to wish that it would stop filling when you wanted, and you drown in sardine-flavoured smoothie.

I wish I was, before it could have been.
Granted, but that happens before.

I wish for the guy below me to wish for a potato salad.
Granted. It's on kickstarter! And everyone's going to make a big party.
You also get a nice little bite via mail. Yet it was too old when you ate it .. you get horribly sick.

I wish I could do with as little sleep as on the weekends.
Granted! Now you'll never sleep at all! No more wasting time in a half-coma! Of course with that, your body falls into pieces due to lack of much needed rest. Literally.

I wish for a perfectly symmetrical oblique triangle.
Granted, but life still sucks.
But hey, there's lots of stuff you can do with that thing!

LOTS of stuff...I mean LOTS.

I wish for a hot dog.
I would have more makerscore If I did things.
Soon, materializing in front of you is a very humanoid and sexy dog! It allures you with great intensity and you soon fall in love! After a few dates you decide to marry her! You're arrested for bestiality three years later and your hot dog wife buys a mansion with her newly acquired wealth that you lost.

I wish to join the MiB!
Done! You join the Men In Black as an intern, but after a few months of work, they decide you're not suitable for the job, and they fire you and erase your memory. Later, you wake up outside your house... And seconds later, you're eaten by a big alien.

I wish I knew how is to be a girl.
No prob, after years in a laboratory, you are now a female. It took many painful experiments and surgeries. Worst of all you can't go back to the way you were!

How does it feel? Is it good?

I wish for a philosopher's stone.
Granted, but that stupid kid from gryffindor steals it,
killing you in the process.

I wish to have one wish.
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
Granted, that was it, hope you liked it. You'll never get another one.

I wish people would stop answering their mobile phones in restaurants.