THE MESS-UP A WISH FOUNDATION

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Granted, you now are the greatest source of common sense and logic in the world!

Unfortunately Being smart gives you the worst of both worlds... All your knowledge has made you have the least popular opinions in the world(All of them right!)! And, because you can't stand people being stupid you try to persuade them, but because the don't WANT to believe you, they don't, and hate your guts because of it.

Those who see your wisdom are constantly bugging you about it, and the combination of both problems cause you constant irritation so long as you live(You don't commit suicide because you see the utter nonsense of it.).

I wish More people would sign up for my event on SMBX forums(NO PEWDS INTERVENTION!!!)
Seiromem
I would have more makerscore If I did things.
6375
Granted, I sign up for it! No really, I will! Just link me it.
Wait I have to ruin the wish, uh...
I'll proceed to not do anything with it!

I wish for the powers of Flumbodiscunteram!

EDIT: Seems you've fallen behind there.
pianotm
The TM is for Totally Magical.
32347
author=seiromem
Granted, I sign up for it! No really, I will! Just link me it.
Wait I have to ruin the wish, uh...
I'll proceed to not do anything with it!

I wish for the powers of Flumbodiscunteram!

EDIT: Seems you've fallen behind there.


Granted. You have all of his/her/its powers, but you can never use them except for one minute each year on May 17th at 3 in the morning.

I wish for a garden with many good and wholesome things growing in it.
Granted, but everything that is grown in it is confiscated by the local government. We can't have any thing good and wholesome 'round these parts!

I wish for another candy bar.
Granted, but it is made out of poop and spider eggs.

I wish for a cap eraser.
Granted, but... uh... you traded your last pencil for a cupcake and now you have to put the eraser on a cupcake? And then you choke on the eraser?

I wish I was taller.
You grow so tall that your head hits the ceiling of the room you are standing in. You keep growing, and you have grown so much that your neck snaps from being pushed against the ceiling. (x_x)

I wish for a ball of clay.
Seiromem
I would have more makerscore If I did things.
6375
Congratulations, a ball of God's Clay has been delivered to you via SkyNet! It's a glowing yellow wad of clay with amazing powers! You mold it into an odd creature, and you are dumbfounded as it splits into two identical copies and turns into real life creatures! These creatures gain intelligence surpassing yours and they reproduce like rabbits. Soon your home is infested with the things, who demand you to feed them as you're their sculptor. Soon you run out of money and are broke, and you abandon them to their own devices in your home as you move to your friend's house and vent to him. After a while you go back to your house to check on them, as your curiosity is too great. You find they have taken to becoming a civilization of hunter-gatherers as they hunt rats and the like. Their population has grown ten-fold as they spread out across the neighbor hood! Your creations are now annoying everybody, and you're to blame. Soon your neighbor hood gets quarantined by the FBI and you're placed under arrest for an unknown charge. Your creatures, once of clay, have created nations and ideas in their zone, and now co-exist peacefully. Soon they are seen as a perfect society, and everyone wants to know how. They pester you, their creator, with questions and soon you are tired of it. You cannot give the answers as you don't know yourself. You do, however, become excited and buy a lot more of God's Clay to try again and again, though your endeavors come up fruitless. You can't seem to replicate the environment you once had and are frustrated by it for the rest of eternity. Then one day you make a bipedal, Ape-like creature and see what they wrought as beings. You're so disappointed in yourself you lock yourself away, numbing your mind as to forget all your pain and broken dreams.

I wish I could multi-task.
Granted, but you soon discover that baking a cake while grooming your cat while fixing your PC while taking hot bath is not a good idea.

I wish for the power to remove the apostrophe from "OWL'S" in seiromem's avatar! /Grammar Nazi
Granted! But seiromem kills you while you're in the shower for ruining his avatar.

(You may have to turn up the volume, the audio quality isn't the best...)

I wish that USA wouldn't think that is better than anybody else. (No offense.)
Granted, but now Canada thinks it's the best and throws a special Canada party inviting all the world and then when everyone arrives they use their copious amounts of maple syrup to stick everyone to Canada, making it the only populated country in the whole world. Then they destroy Russia, so they can be the largest country, and now everyone has to spend all eternity stuck to the ground from maple syrup.

I wish that no one would ruin my wish.
nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
Granted, Mr No One a 93-year-old man from Bogata who survives on spittle and spite does indeed ruin your wish, in ways too ghastly and visceral to detail here for fear of warping young minds beyond all hope of redemption. Your wish now ruined is sent back to you in a series of ever decreasing boxes for you to weep and rend your clothes and flesh over for the rest of your sorry days.

I wish for a lava lamp.

Granted, you receive what appears to be a regular lamp, but when you turn it on lava leaks out of it killing you and burning down your whole town.

I wish for fish to squish on a dish with a side of knish given to me a couple named Gish and Tish.
pianotm
The TM is for Totally Magical.
32347
Granted. You are served fugu, but it's been improperly prepared, and so is highly toxic. Fortunately, it's squished on a dish and so you don't find it very appetizing, assuring you won't eat it. The knish smells rancid. On the bright side, Gish and Tish seem to be a rather lovely couple.

I wish for a mild winter this year.
(Not gonna happen, unfortunately)
Fine, you get a mild winter. There aren't any school cancellations and kids start to get depressed, they end up killing themselves. While, that could seem like a plus for you, it lowers the reproductive base of your country. This leads to your population shrinking. I foreign country sees this weakness and violently takes your country over.

I wish I could save America.
Granted, you could save America if you try.
But you're not going to.

I wish for an avatar like the one Majoracan has.
Granted, but then everyone calls you a copycat and hates you so much that they find your home address and murder you.

I wish people would stop losing socks in the dryer.
pianotm
The TM is for Totally Magical.
32347
Granted. All dryers are replaced with new ones with good seals in the barrel. Now people are losing socks everywhere else.

I wish I could find a good whetstone for my shaving razor.
Granted, but after many years of being good, it turned evil and assaulted your razor.

I wish I knew what a whetstone was. And that I wasn't too lazy to Google it.