The TM is for Totally Magical.
Granted. You hear another stupid song.

I wish my dachshund's toenails didn't grow so quickly, and that she didn't scream like she's in a Medieval torture device every time the vet trims them.
Granted! They appear not to be growing at all until you realize that they are growing inward through various organs in her body, making the screaming way worse then if she was in a Medieval torture device.

I wish I could make money without having to work.
Granted! Now you rob banks all over the country, but eventually, you get caught by the police and you are sentenced to death.

I wish I never got tired.
Robbing banks is hard work! I wished specifically for no work! Oh well.

Granted! You never feel tired, but your body still experiences all the horrible things sleep deprivation does to you and you die.

I wish for a domesticated dragon.
I would have more makerscore If I did things.
Granted, you purchase a moderately sized red dragon from a local dragon farm. It's polite, never eats off the table and cuddles with you in the winter times, you'll never feel cold again!
On one fine morning you take your lovely domesticated dragon out for a stroll in the forest. After an uneventful outing, you're suddenly surrounded by poachers! They plan to claim your dragon and use it for nefarious purposes! After a heated(By dragon fire) struggle you are knocked out and awaken to find your dragon murdered and stripped of scales. Your beautiful, fine, lovely dragon, dead! Enraged by this loss, you track the poachers across the country, going through nasty trials of spider colonies, trolls, giants, chased by a giant worm, and past a purple tomb bursting with miasmal energies. You finally catch up to them, ready to exact your revenge when you're promptly burned to death by their poached dragons. Now your spirit wanders in eternity, unable to cope with the loss and failed revenge for your dragon. Your suffering is eternal.

I wish for my latest invention to be invested in and mass produced, making everyone's lives easier!
Granted, but life becomes too easy and and... Wall-E...

I wish the cat wouldn't poop on the floor when she decides to exact revenge for poor service.
The TM is for Totally Magical.
Granted. Instead of pooping for revenge...

I wish had a good game to submit to the site.
Granted, but every time someone downloads it a puppy dies.

Granted, but due to a technical difficulty, it turned out to be a MESS UP YOUR PANTS FOUNDATION instead.

I wish that I was on vacation.
Granted, you get to go to the museum of UFO history, but its with me. And I make it a point to ask the tour guide a thousand questions, none of which relate to the museums theme. And I pants you at least once a day.
Your wish is NOT granted! Because you didn't wished anything...

I wish to be the beloved leader of a female-only land.

I'm going to get BURNED because of this wish...
"My father told me this would happen."
You are now the beloved leader of a female-only land.

You also happen to be the only female around. And that land is an island in the middle of the sea. And the giant spiders sure do love you. Lots of giant spiders. Did I mention the giant spiders were female? I didn't see the need to point it out, but I've got a clause that all wishes must be fulfilled to the letter. Genie regulations, you understand.

Did I mention that you are completely defenseless in this hostile land with no equipment? Because you do have equipment. A gun with one bullet to shoot yourself with. Problem with that is that it got crushed by a falling rock that also hit you and paralyzed you from the neck down. Have fun with that.

I wish that I could comfort people going through a rough time.

Granted! Your comfortation skills are loved by all of the people around you, just as loved as you, until one day, you go to visit the island that you put me in to try to comfort me. But when you arrive there, you discover that I trained all of the spider population to prepare themselves for your arrival...

And I'll let the rest to your imagination.

I wish have great persuasion skills in order to win all of the Mafia games.
Granted, but you when so many games no one lets you play anymore. That is until you persuade them otherwise. Kenton a gets tired of it and bans you. You can't communicate with him anymore, so you can't convince him to unban you.

I wish for a girlfriend that is a program with AI. Not IRL thouhg, I don't need that mess.
Granted, but she's running on Windows, and stuck installing hundreds of automatic updates every freaking day and crashes like mad crazy.

I wish that I was a wild turnip wrangler!
The TM is for Totally Magical.
Granted. No need to mess up this wish. It's already fucked up. If you think you have a hard job now, just wait until you have to pull turnips out of the ground every day.

I wish I had a TV so I could hook up my Playstation 3...oh well. At least I can watch DVDs on my computer.
Granted, you stole a flat screen from your neighbors. I didn't think you had it in you! After you play your ps3 for about an hour, the cops show up. They pointlessly beat the crap out of you as if you resist arrest.

I wish to go to cedar point with AlphaOmega147 without having to pay. XP
The TM is for Totally Magical.
Granted. You sneak in. The cops catch you and pointlessly beat the crap out of you. When you sue, they falsify evidence that you resisted arrest.

I wish I LEGALLY had a TV so I could hook up my PS3. At least I can watch new episodes of Doctor Who online.
Granted! During your stay in prision, they give you a TV with basic cable and a PS3...

That would be good, except for the fact that the only game they gave you to play was...




And then the guards enter to your cell and beat pointlessly the crap out of you.

I wish that there was always something good to watch on TV.
The TM is for Totally Magical.
Granted. You steal cable. You get caught and the police pointlessly beat the crap out of you. Now, you're quadriplegic and can only watch TV.

I wish the police wouldn't pointlessly beat the crap out of people.