RMN CONFESSIONS

Posts

Seiromem
I would have more makerscore If I did things.
6375
I made an embarrassing account a year (or two?) before I joined as Seiromem.

I didn't know what a gamepage was and I had made a blog-post about it, and promptly forgot it existed.
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
I really want to run a Battledome again but I still haven't dished out makerscore trophies for the first three...
Max McGee
with sorrow down past the fence
9159
I just changed my avatar for the first time in like six years.

I think I am probably addicted to RMN. The page was down the first time I tried to go to it today and I had a micro panic attack.

My posts on the forums over time since 2008 make up way, way, way too high a percentage of RMN's total forum activity by volume. I can say things like 'I AM RMN' and I would expect I'm somewhere between 10% and 25% right.

Once I was having serious anxiety attacks while having a tiff over PM with Craze--part of my mental issues is an insane psychological need to have every person I encounter like me, combined with a tendency to get really really angry: this is a terrible combination.

I can point to about a half dozen RMN users who, historically speaking, I have not gotten along with, but in each of these cases I respect them as game auteurs and am almost desperate to have their respect in the same context. (There are obviously still more people I don't like, respect, or give a shit about the opinions of, but I won't get into that because it's less interesting.)

Lastly for now, I used to be the admin of a site that kentona was a member of.
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
author=Max McGee
(There are obviously still more people I don't like, respect, or give a shit about the opinions of, but I won't get into that because it's less interesting.)

I got a mention! :)
I'm starting to dislike participating in RMN forum topics. I'll often write a reply, then close the tab instead of hitting submit. What's the point?

On the flip side, I'm actually doing more things.
Max McGee
with sorrow down past the fence
9159
Goddamn, I refresh RMN WAY too much.

author=Link_2112
I'm starting to dislike participating in RMN forum topics. I'll often write a reply, then close the tab instead of hitting submit.

Why do you think that is? I mean I do that sometimes, but I wouldn't go as far as "often".

nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
author=Link_2112
I'm starting to dislike participating in RMN forum topics. I'll often write a reply, then close the tab instead of hitting submit. What's the point?
^ this.

I've lost count of the number of times I've done that over the past few months. It simply becomes a case of write comment, no wait someone is yet again going to forget my default mode is helpfully sarcastic, assume I'm saying something derogatory, inflammatory, reactionary or hysteric, then I'll have to explain myself not only from the original person but from others on the bandwagon, so back away without hitting the submit. It's just draining. Admittedly most of this happens via other means than the forums, but it does make me stop adding that avenue to the mix. Real Life drama I can't avoid, the optional internet version, yes I can.

Seriously I almost didn't on this post.

Also Link your current avatar is perfect for this post (it's Kirk slapping himself from Plato's Stepchildren)
Well, recently it hit me how long I've actually been on RMN. Just over 4 years. When I first joined I was all up in every topic I found even slightly interesting. And it was fun most of the time, I fell for some troll traps early on but I learned. This was basically my first active participation in an online community.

I'm pretty sure that just about every single day of those 4 years I checked RMN, several times a day. Except when I didn't have internet access. Sometimes sitting there refreshing the Latest Posts waiting for someone to post in topics I post in(while doing something else, not literally staring at Latest Posts and waiting). I wish we had topic subs back then. I always knew that I was spending too much time on RMN, but it always seemed fun and helpful. I learned a lot participating in those gameplay related topics. I read a lot of articles and tutorials.

RMN made me a better dev without having to make the mistakes myself. I learned from others mistakes(and success).

Now it seems like when a new gameplay topic pops up, I've done that before and I do read them but I don't learn anything new. I think "this again?" and when I look up the old topics it's like 2 years ago. It's all old hat to me now.

A lot of what takes place on RMN now is social, and that's fine. I often make jabs about it, but only because I'm not big on social media type stuff. I prefer to live, breathe, and chat game design. Not dreams or social justice(no offense to pianoman xD).

I feel like I've outgrown RMN in that I've learned a ton and now I really need to go forth and apply it, not sit around and absorb a few bits here and there while making the odd joke or correction. Most of what I end up typing is really snarky or jerky, or I feel like I'm not really contributing anything important. Like pointing out a mistake in what someone said. I think about the possible ensuing conversation, much like nhubi but not in a negative way. Just that it doesn't seem desirable. I take way too long to write out my responses, like this one. I tend to ramble. I lost count of how many times I've gotten a tl;dr in a discussion. And it seems like my opinions promote opposition.

Now that I've got my own game with custom content I want to spend more time on that, but I think I really do have an addiction to RMN and not wanting to miss any "hot topic" like the latest review drama or site change. I have this need to not miss out on anything xD So I'm pretty much reverting to a lurker.

But the more I get into my own game, the more I identify with the whole indie scene and I do still want to be a part of it. Because I need to promote myself. I love playing others games, which is why I made that topic. I should write more tutorials, for a more meaningful way to help people other than pointing out that their use of memes in a game was a stupid idea.

I love my new avatars :D Another day I'll spend a few more hours and find some more great ones. I might even start making some. There's a scene where the nurse is slapping Spock that when I first watched it I thought "that would make a great avatar!".

Anyways, I just need to pick and choose my RMN activites. Posting in the forums is out, playing and making games in is. And it's about time, fak. I've only been RMing for about 12 years(off and on) and I have nothing to show for it but a Zelda demo and one of the higher total post counts. That's another thing, seeing how much I posted really made me think about all this.
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
Link, you should IMO be commercial. You've hobbies the hell out of this, essencially been in GAM make school, and you have met the point where you need to start on your thesis.
Also, join my events! You will be handsomely (barely) rewarded with fake internet points!
You don't have to deviate far into social blahdeeblahs, get to play a shitty game or whatever is up... Heh heh salesman tactics. I don't have them.

Have you considered starting up a Zelda-like? Retro gaming is very in right now, why not convert the story of your Zelda game, or trash it and start from the ground-up fresh on something you mean entirely to sell or kick starter?
Max McGee
with sorrow down past the fence
9159
Link, I totally understand where you're coming from with a lot of this stuff. Often I wind up posting on RMN instead of actually working on my game, and the fundamental reason is that the two are so complexly intertwined in so many ways.

I would respectfully disagree with the suggestion that any of your problems will be solved by going commercial, based on how few of the games you're the primary/sole dev of have Completed as their status, but that's my personal ideological bias, for sure.
slash
APATHY IS FOR COWARDS
4158
I definitely used to have a bit of a obsession with Craze and his style of game design. I mean, I still do. There's a few people here whose stuff I almost always fawn over >_> I guess I tend to get fanboyish...
I secretly hate you all, hate games, and hate rpg maker
Ratty524
The 524 is for 524 Stone Crabs
12986
I used to have a bit of an online crush on Liberty, YDS, Nessiah and Tardis (my only guy-crush)...

*hides sheepishly*
slash
APATHY IS FOR COWARDS
4158
i love kentona, but that's no secret
author=Max McGee
Lastly for now, I used to be the admin of a site that kentona was a member of.

author=Max McGee
I would respectfully disagree with the suggestion that any of your problems will be solved by going commercial, based on how few of the games you're the primary/sole dev of have Completed as their status, but that's my personal ideological bias, for sure.

Did I suggest that? I'm not looking to solve any problems by going commercial. I'm just looking to move beyond RPGmaker and RMN social life. I hate RTP and generic games. Kind of like shump without the huge middle finger to everyone. I imagine this is how they felt, except I'm a nicer person and I'm not going to shit on people(too much) for making things I don't approve of. I still have respect for everyone here. (Except kentona ;)

I have no completed games because I get tons of ideas and they lose their impact. My newest idea is about music and music is my life, so this game is my life and my interest in it will never fade.
nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
author=slashphoenix
i love kentona, but that's no secret


That's a not so secret crush for a lot of us, methinks.
Max McGee
with sorrow down past the fence
9159
author=Link_2112
author=Max McGee
I would respectfully disagree with the suggestion that any of your problems will be solved by going commercial, based on how few of the games you're the primary/sole dev of have Completed as their status, but that's my personal ideological bias, for sure.
Did I suggest that? I'm not looking to solve any problems by going commercial. I'm just looking to move beyond RPGmaker and RMN social life. I hate RTP and generic games. Kind of like shump without the huge middle finger to everyone. I imagine this is how they felt, except I'm a nicer person and I'm not going to shit on people(too much) for making things I don't approve of. I still have respect for everyone here. (Except kentona ;)

I have no completed games because I get tons of ideas and they lose their impact. My newest idea is about music and music is my life, so this game is my life and my interest in it will never fade.


nnnnn, it was dudesoft who made that suggestion.
Max McGee
with sorrow down past the fence
9159
author=kentona
author=Max McGee
<3 <3 <3
author=kentona
I secretly hate you all, hate games, and hate rpg maker


idofuckingcare.gif


whatthefuckisthisomgkillitwithfire.jpg


author=Ratty524
I used to have a bit of an online crush on Liberty, YDS, Nessiah and Tardis (my only guy-crush)...

*hides sheepishly*

Dawwww~ ^.^

I spend far too much time on RMN. I visit the site at least three times a day (often much more). I've been like this since I found the damn site in the first place, too - and sigh a lot when nothings' changed. I won't lie - this has cut into my gammak a bit.

That said, I'm trying to not post so much (hah! fucking stat topics pointing out that as a joke) and work more on gam.