YOURSELF

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Hey guys! Recently I was searching myself up and logging in sites I'd forget that even existed... While doing so I found some interesting stuff from 2008-2011 that I had forgotten. 2012 was a pretty big turning point for my life, lots of things happened then so I kinda consider it a book division. (technically so I'm on book 3 or 4 of my own life hahah xD)
And man... I was... Very different! I was so, so, so different! It gets me surprised. I used to be much bubblier, optimistic and open. I was also much more prone to self exposure than I actually am, was pretty ingenue and got hurt easily. I'm not much of that anymore... But it's hard to realize until you actually see it with your own eyes, be it in a registered video, blogs, diaries, etc...

So the purpose of this topic is to discover more about yourself! I know this is kinda too intimate for most of you to want to share here, but um. So I challenge you to remember where did you use to venture to when you first started logging in the internet! Find your very first blog, your very first forum. Read your introductory topic, analyze your past behaviour and see if it comes to a change. I found it quite shocking... And after doing that, pinpoint what you think changed the most about yourself! What are you glad that changed? And what do you want back? What are you happy to have exterminated? And what are you proud of keeping? These things.

Hopefully this can be a nice topic. xD

Also, I summed up how I feel in relation to my old self in a quick drawing:

The oldest post on record, from my old account, talking about Exit Fate:

03/16/2009 07:31 PM
I played this a while back, although I'm not playing it right now. I might pick it up again sometime, as i'm only at the starting castle with Angel.

The art is great, other than the fact that everyones head is a bit too big, which makes them look like bobble head dolls. That can get distracting sometimes.

I had an even older account called GLYPH_150 on GamingWorld, which I believe daates back to at least 2007.

I got everything I wanted back already. As for what changed, I used to be a stupid jerkoff that made 100% vaporware and threw temper tantrums about literally nothing. Now I'm an egotistical jerkoff that finished games and keeps a (mostly) calm head in discussions.

What I'm happy to have exterminated? Myself. I'm proud of keeping my old design sensibilities and adapting them to a modern mind, and continuing with my pixel art.

Here's some of my old work, or at least what I previously salvaged and saved:

http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/29496/locker/Worldmap.PNG
http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/29496/locker/RPG_RT_20090518_12313614.png
http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/29496/locker/NL2.png
http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/29496/locker/RPG_RT_20090529_08075359.png

As a bonus, here's the first pixel art I ever did:

http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/29496/locker/RPG_RT_20090223_22542025.png

I've come a long, long way. It would bring a tear to my greasy pizza eye if I had a soul.
I was on PSO-World way back, and then I joined this site. That was pretty much the start of my internet presence. I was an idiot back then. Or rather, I wasn't wise to the way things work on the internet.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
6003
I wonder if I can find my old account on Don Miguel's forum on the wayback machine.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7419
I wish I could use the Wayback Machine to find the original 2006 version of Tales from Zilmurik, but I fear that's gone forever.

My first true social experience with the internet was back in the days of Diablo. I had a "girlfriend" who I gave my real life name and age to. Then my parents found out. You learn quickly.
nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
My first foray into the internet was a while ago, and indeed the first site I ever posted on is long since gone, as well as most of the others that came after. I've also changed usernames over time, though nhubi has been one of my two fallbacks for a while now. There is no way for me to find my first, though I do remember where it was, but I think what I am has not fundamentally changed, it's just been winnowed down to the things that matter and the understanding that most other things are just there for the fun.
I have a very short paper trail since I swapped usernames a lot as a teen, and that's the way I intend to keep it.

*kicks dark and tortured internet past filled with shitty ocs and terrible opinions under the bed*
In high school I invented a gross old dude persona (being a girl, this was pretty amusing) and harassed my friends (who were in on it). I never had my real info or anything on facebook, just a whole page for this dude and all his strange ramblings. It was fun.

e: and before that, when I was an annoying & earnest tween writer, I was on an MSN writing forum where I acted like a total newb & left after getting into an argument with somebody. I wrote really lame Tamora Pierce wannabe stories... eurgh.

e: ...I was on that Gaia site for a while maybe a decade ago, but it was awful there.

The (few) other sites I've ever been a member of were terrible toilets of the internet, so I took a long while sussing out this place before I joined, and have not regretted doing so.
unity
You're magical to me.
12403
author=emmych
*kicks dark and tortured internet past filled with shitty ocs and terrible opinions under the bed*


^This, very much. I'm keeping it all a secret, else I'll die of embarrassment XD Heck, I'm a little embarrassed about some things I've said on RMN on more serious topics (which is why I try to stay away from those threads.)
I've been to rather dark places on the net when I started off. As a consequence, I became an extremely vengeful kid (only temporarily, thankfully). Some people made me believe that everyone on the internet were asshats, and I guiltily kept feeding their flames with my raging. It boiled down to a fight: a couple of 20-somethings against an 8-year-old. It didn't matter who was right anymore. None of it made sense. So I left.

After that, I rarely popped up on the net. Only showing up every now and then to play DragonFable or mess around with google maps. Up until recently, around a year or so ago, when I started to gain interest in this fanfic writing site. Soon enough, the planets aligned, and the gods trumpeted in unison, and then I sits here now in rmn.

e> My current username is fairly recent (~8mo). Prior to this, I went by all sorts of names. Mostly |33t ones like: De$oL8tor and H4kr.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
20691
I suppose the only other net-home I had was GameShark Code Creator's Club (though, I knew it better as "CodeTwink"), during the height of the PS2 era. I recall helping some people out with Suikoden 5 (Darigaaz, that inventory code!), and doing a forum game that was basically Mad-Libs with dialogs/stories from early versions of Legacy Reborn, Matsumori Days, and possibly Uchioniko.
Sure, why not. Here's my little 'internet' tale.

My first internet venture started out in 2009 or so, when I joined a fan-site of a rather under-appreciated RPG series ( even though I had played one of the games as early as 2001; also my first foray into the world of the JRPG ). I was like a breath fresh air there, since I was also developing my fan-game in RMXP back then already. Naturally, the fans flocked to it.

But then I was banned from the site after making a silly message on the 'open conversation/shout-out' box there. No warning. No suspension. Nada. Flat-out banned. There was an uproar after I that, and that site pretty much started to go downhill from there. Then again, that was the kind of site that would warn people for using words like 'cockpit' in their fanfics. >< Some went as far as to call them Nazis. I also canned my fan-game at some point back then. I also remember coming across Dyhalto at RPGcrisis.net XD.

Then I found myself here, but was never active ( RMN wasn't a nice place to be around circa 2009-2010 lol ) then went over to VX.net in late 2010 and started to slowly build up my RM reputation. And then that site started to go downhill as well around late 2012, and there was a mass exodus to RMW.

It never was the same though ( that community vibe, devs supporting the hell out of each other, I'm sure emmych can recall the good 'ol Vx.net days as well XD ). After barely a year of being properly active there, I left and settled here. For good. :D
I don't think Joseph's intention was that we talk about ourselves exclusively from an RM standpoint but...

Even though I've been RMing since 1999 or 2000, I didn't join a community until RPGCrisis in 2008, and that was only because I had questions about Sim RPG Maker 95. I wish I'd joined a community earlier, because then maybe I'd have had the drive to actually finish something. Maybe I'd have something to show for all those years of monkeying around.
Ratty524
The 524 is for 524 Stone Crabs
12896
Despite knowing about the internet beforehand, I never really knew about the "online community" until around 2004, when I played my second MMO game, Graal Online.

That's when I quickly realized that people are serious dicks on the net, but I was too stupid back then, so I became something that was arguably worse. I'd constantly spam mass messages filled with pointless crap that I didn't even realize was stupid, trash-talked some of the nastier members of the community to start some flame wars, and acted rude to some of the staff members running the game's servers. I think I deliberately mocked a mod's warning JUST so I could get banned to see what it was like... I was that much of a moron.

My involvement with Graal also lead me towards forums for the game, and my lack of knowledge of netiquette cost me dearly. I would double-quadruple post, stir up lousy topics within the spam forums, talk at great length about private parts, and basically everything that wound up making me look like an ass in front of thousands. As Graal sort of began to die, I eventually left and spared whomever remained of my annoyance.

To understand just how much I was despised, one guy wrote the following statement in his goodbye post when he quit Graal:
Ratty: To put this in the way of a good friend, you are like a son that came as a result of a broken condom. No one wants you, go away.

I didn't even know what a condom was back then, but when I look back at this, holy shit that hurts.

I think I moved to Gaia Online next. I stayed there for a bit, but I kind of started to realize how shitty the community was and lost interest. I then moved onto RPG Maker, and joined a small community centered around it. I remember getting along just fine with that small community (the name of it escapes me), but then I decided to go for a larger pool with the RMXP.org community (now HBgames). The larger crowd and the less friendlier environment seemingly stimulated me to go back to my roots of being an obnoxious twat, probably because I had a desire for attention? I ended up getting a similar stigma there, of course, until I was permanently banned.

So then came RRR, and I actually settled down there a bit by comparison, and even became a mod (which was probably the first time something like that has ever happened to me), and eventually found my way here.

Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time to slap my younger self in the face.
I think my very first foray into the Internet was some Zelda site. I was there for like a week, and then somebody made fun of me... I couldn't take it and I never went back. I've definitely gotten some thicker skin since then. Nothing bothers me now. XD

I spent some time on GameSpot after that, and it lasted a few years. I don't remember much about my early days, there... only that I was mostly a nonentity. I was 15. My early blogs were all about the unexciting details of my life. "Oooh, I'm sick of life! Ooh, my girlfriend broke up with me after a whole two weeks! Oooh Metroid is too hard!! Oooh woe is me." Typical moody-emo-spoiled brat sort of stuff. I soon realized that nobody wanted to hear any of that. I have since changed my evil ways. I still occasionally delve into the details of my personal life, but not nearly as much as I used to. And I don't whine about every little thing.

Despite being so dreadful, I eventually made some good friends, and as GameSpot made its long and painful transformation into utter shit, we ventured out on our own and started a ZetaBoard, which promptly died. Then I went through my homeless phase. I lived on the streets of the Internet with no site to call home. Then, for some reason, I decided to get back into RPG Making after a very, VERY long hiatus, looked around for a fun community to join... found one... didn't join... went back to join a few weeks later, but didn't remember the name of the site correctly and joined here by mistake... I guess, in the end, things worked out okay. XD It's been a difficult transition, though. I'm not the leader here, I'm not the center of attention... I'm a bona fide nobody. That drastic shift has taken some getting used to, but I suspect that, given enough time, my taint will spread and consume RMN.
Eeeek, double post. Sorry. -_-
Oh man, I feel so old. ;_;

I've been around the "community" for almost ten years, at least as far as designing games. I first joined Gaming World back in 2005, and um... it'd probably be pretty painful to dig up anything I may have posted, lmao. I was an extremely self-important, emotional, pretentious teenager. xD (Aren't most of us?) I've definitely become more relaxed and chill during (and after) college, almost an entirely different person.

By 2007 I had posted the "old" versions of Beloved Rapture, despite it being under a different name back then. It's quite a far-cry from how the project looks and plays now. A bit scary ;0



That same year I also became active on several other websites; a small-scale RM forum I ran with a few others, RPG Revolution, Charas.Net, Lunatic Gaming, and the old Ghostlight. When WIP launched RMN I was one of the first 20 or so members to join, although I subsequently vanished for a few years. I didn't lose interest per se, but I was in the midst of college/moving to Boston, so I went on to explore Photography more in depth, and focus on other things.

In my personal life, I also had the typical social media(s), Myspace, Facebook, etc lmao. I frequented a few other forums devoted to Poetry and Photography projects, but I was never as active as I was here.

Btw;
author=Pizza
http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/29496/locker/NL2.png

http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/29496/locker/RPG_RT_20090529_08075359.png

Hahahahh I remember these screenshots somehow! Wow, so long ago.

I have fond memories but I dare not go back. Most is gone anyway. But my homepage that I did in eight grade (when I got internet, because seven-graders were not allowed to get on the school computers. Though in eight-grade was also when we got internet home) should still be around:
http://www.angelfire.com/in/janthegreatest/

I... Just read some of it and...
Yes. I too was a teen.

It's strange though I never really consider myself massively changed or anything. I mean when I look back I have had some opinion changes of the years. You oculd say that as I get older I get more conservative and less extreme.

I mean in seventh-grade I was an anime fan, without knowing really what anime was all about. Later I noticed that all anime is shit (as it is) so I became an avid anime-hater. Nowadays I still hate anime, but I'm also okay with it existing. If you know what I mean. Less extreme...

Something similar happened with me and jRPGs. I loved Final Fantasy (7) so damn much and then I hated all jRPGs because Fallout was so much better but nowadays I can almost entertain the thought of maybe playing a Final Fantasy again. Less extreme...

The other thing I usually notice the most when reading older posts is how my English has improved over the years. I've always thought I have a decent grasp of English but going back I find that my vocabulary was a lot smaller in the past (not that is it particularly large these days either) so the writing often feels simplistic even though I tried to convey great thoughts.

Or maybe I was a teenager who tried to convey great thoughts and now that I read them again they weren't. Who knows. I like to think I had great thoughts once.

My paper trail online should be fairly easy to follow. I've always liked the idea of being the same person online all the time. Just... Evolving. So I've never taken any great steps to anonymize myself. There are some aliases I never use anymore (like "Jan from Finland") but that's about it.


Once every now and then I get into internet nostalgia. It's so much fun. But I rarely want to actually read what happened. That's the problem with the internet really. The rose-tinted glasses reserved for nostalgia don't work when there's hard evidence online of what really happened.
author=Shinan
The other thing I usually notice the most when reading older posts is how my English has improved over the years. I've always thought I have a decent grasp of English but going back I find that my vocabulary was a lot smaller in the past (not that is it particularly large these days either) so the writing often feels simplistic even though I tried to convey great thoughts.
I think your English is just fine. I never would have guessed it's not your first language. In fact, I think it's better than a lot of people who speak English as their only language. XD
Never really got into blogs, but the first forum I joined was FFLegend.com around 2000/2001. I then moved on to a rom hacking forum called Acmlm's Board. It was through rom hacking that I discovered RPG Maker, and the rest is history.

Anyway, it's difficult to dig through since I have often changed username over the years. I even had my username changed here after a while.

Of course I have changed a lot. The thing I'm most glad for is the improvement to my English. When I first started online I only knew a bit of English and used Babelfish to translate a few times. The only thing I miss is that I became less outgoing online. I used to be active all over the place and known by everyone, now I'm mostly a lurker. On the upside, I became more outgoing outside the internet.
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