ANTI PICKUP LINES

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Red_Nova
Sir Redd of Novus: He who made Prayer of the Faithless that one time, and that was pretty dang rad! :D
9192
Love is in the air! Can't you just smell it? It's a day of joy, happiness, and spending time with that one special person...

... It's such a cliché. And I looooove breaking clichés! So we are now going to come up with the best anti pickup lines possible to ensure that we lose any dates we may have!

- Twist a traditional pickup line into an anti pickup line!
- Come up with a more personal anti pickup line just for another user. Show 'em how much you really care!

Remember: Try not to get (overly) explicit. We're trying to get rejected, not arrested! Getting dumped is an art form, people!

I'll start us off:


- It must have been a long fall from heaven, because you look SQUISHED!

- Aw, he's so cute! Is that your son or your brother?

- Hey, Liberty, you should boost my potassium count soon. After all, bananas expire after 3-4 weeks, so you don't have much time left!
Cocassu
Pink, the color of Liberty.
1080
Did you fall from heaven, cause i'm allergic to feathers.
Ratty524
The 524 is for 524 Stone Crabs
12986
"Are you into Pokemon? Because you look like Trubbish."

"Liberty, you are the slow to my text speed."
"Boy if you were a vegetable you'd be thrown in the trash cause vegetables suck."

"Hey, did your license get suspended for driving all the girls crazy after crashing into a building in front of everyone and mangling your face beyond repair or does it just naturally look like that?"

"Boy is your name homework cause my dog would love to eat you"

jesus christ I'm bad at this
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
"Hey baby, how bout you and me make a selfie?"

"Are you a parking ticket? Because I'm gonna leave you under someone else's windshield wiper."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd pull E and D apart."

"If I was stuck on a deserted island and I could only have three things, I'd take your phone number, my cell phone, and a picture of your face."

"You must be a steering wheel, because I can't tell where to grab you."

If you use any of the above, you deserve to be shot.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
I used to run free response votes on my online game to get people to finish half of a pickup line. Here are some of the results I saved one time.

Baby, my clock must be fast, because I just came waaaay early.
Baby, my clock must be fast, because I just fucked your mom instead of you.
Baby, my clock must be fast, because that orgasm you gave me had to have lasted for about twenty years.
Baby, my clock must be fast, because we're not even in the bedroom yet and I've already unzipped!
Baby, my clock must be fast, because it's time for you to die!
Baby, my clock must be fast, because it's not really suppose to be used as a dildo.
Baby, my clock must be fast, because you seem to have fiddled with it. Now, I triple penetrate you with spiky objects, you two-timing whore.
Baby, my clock must be fast, because you sure don't LOOK 14.
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