You're magical to me.
I was about to say "Well, this certainly has his VX Ace FF4 game buzzing" but now the page is down XD

Seriously, what a horrible scam. I really hope no one's fallen for the $1000 to put your game on a phone thing, too -_-


When you're so cool you can troll your own website.
Guardian of the Description Thread

I laughed at this, and am probably a terrible person for doing so.

*Edit: The user profile text is hilarious as well.
The ads remind me of the legitimate ads you'd see in gaming magazines back in the 90's. I don't know to be impressed or appalled.


There's definitely a joke in here about bullshit, somewhere.

edit: great minds!

there was an ad for The Horde on 3DO (good god) that was exactly like this, but had a joke about "Mister Cow's startled and not by a pair of cold hands"

because you don't milk male cows, why's he used to the farmer's cold hands touching his dong THE NINETIES!
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
This dude's game designer career amounts to:

And to think I played the crap out of the free version & fed him all kinds of error reports in hopes to make a masterpiece & now it seems he got a little too greedy & is desperate to try to use RPG Maker to make fan-made remakes for money. Well, it's up to him to clear his name IF he's innocent in all this, but if it is just a scam then I'm very disappointed in him. I actually plan on doing some remakes with RPG Maker & I won't have the gall to try to charge people money with amateur skills, I'd just do it because some games should be remade using RPG Maker for better graphics (any NES RPG would look better remade with RPG Maker).
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
From the sound of things, the Mystic Quest remake has actually gained a fair amount of popularity outside the RPG Maker cesspool and is pretty decent quality. Some people on my Squaresoft MUD were talking about it, they seemed pretty disappointed with the dramananigans.
Hence why Square released a statement about it, I guess. It went the way of Chrono Trigger: Crimson Echoes - got too popular, Square found it, cease and desist-ed to death. Well... we're still awaiting the cease and desist.

(Granted, with Crimson Echoes they actually cracked the CT romfile and edited the source code instead of actually just recreating the game in RPG Maker, so that was a huge no-no that Square jumped all over.)

Oh, hey, and apparently the story in the remake hooked up Phoebe and Reuben. How cruel! Phoebe was obviously totes hot for Ben!
His issue was that he claimed that Square Enix EUROPE (only lol) gave him permission to release the game commercially and even started preorders. Not that it was popular, just that several people like Kotaku emailed Squenix to see if it's true.
WHOA wow wow. two tails? that is a sexy idea...
looks good. put it up on the fron t page.
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
People can say what they want, Kotaku still delivers.
"I almost cried when I heard this had come out. I remember playing this game for many hours during my childhood. I've got up to the Bone Dungeon and the remake is so faithful to the original. Well done Dark Designs and Square, a brilliant game."
~ 3Mooglemonster36,

The bone dungeon is literally the second dungeon in the game. Literally. And the first dungeon isn't even hard. It's literally:
- game start
- go in forest
- get girl in town
- fight forest boss
- girl leaves
- go to bone dungeon

That's 20 minutes of gameplay tops.


It's basically saying "Oh FF7 was great! I got all the way to Don Corneo's mansion! So good!"
I mean, okay, that is pretty good, but you can't expound about how epic the game was when you haven't even met the main antagonists!

I mean, it's also like saying "Oh yeah, FF4 was so badass. That part with the bomb in that town... yeah, that was as far as I got but it was such a good game."

Or even "Oh man, FFXII was so cool! I got all the way to the plains and it was so awesome. Man I remember that game."

O-Or! "Oh man, Chrono Cross was so good! I got all the way to the other world. I remember it was so cool!" >.<;
My question is how he knows the remake is faithful to the original when he's literally not BEATEN THE ENTIRE GAME. Don't you kind of need to know every detail about both a remake AND original to make that comparison? That's like saying a FF9 remake is faithful to the original when all you played of either of them is to the first forest scene where you crash the theater ship.

What are the chances the game itself is bogus and not even complete?

His grasp of sentence structure is odd, but I'm assuming he probably meant that he got to the Bone Dungeon in the remake, rather than the original game.

lolol dat axe animation. Too much of a tall order for an officially-sanctioned commercial project to animate character sprites, huh?
Well, to be fair, that's like the original animation. But a remake should improve on the basics. Can't say I like the monsters. Where's the charming changes that occur when they've been beaten down? It's basically a staple of the game - one of the more charming things about it. :/

And not liking the music at all. It's terrible. The original was great because it was the perfect amount of balance - this one is all riffs and guitars and mental. No balance at all. >.< He ruined good music.
Ahh was it? My bad. It's literally been twenty years since I've played, and my rose tinted lenses remembered Benjamin actually (crudely) swinging the axe at the trees.

edit: WAIT, he actually did!
When you're so cool you can troll your own website.
It's basically saying "Oh FF7 was great! I got all the way to Don Corneo's mansion! So good!"

well, that's like the best part of the game, so...
"It's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly...timey wimey...stuff."
What in the name of actual fuck did you do to my favourite game soundtrack I don't even