THE RELIGION THREAD

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inb4holywar.

To be fair, to say that people who are oppose to gay marriage are in a vocal minority is an understatement. Between liberal atheists, liberal Christians, moderates of any type, libertarians, and even conservatives (that either have a child who is gay, used to hate gays until someone they knew committed suicide over it, or simply conservatives that are consersative but don't got around in a pool of hate), close to 85% of the US population is either in favor of gay marriage, indifferent, or part of the movement in some way. Yet, the few who do oppose this, are so vocal that many people think this is the majority opinion. But it's not, I attended a church discussion on the recent bill, and churches voted almost unanimously in favor.

Supposedly, there are gay groups trying to take over the country :conspiracy: but actually, the gay groups I've seen have been mainly regular people. On the other hand, groups like the American Family Association, pretty much have enormous clout, and can boycott businesses for their views.

https://believervsnonbelievers.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/reporter-searches-for-evil-atheists-on-the-american-family-associations-bigotry-map/

Bigotry map is right. It's a map of the AFA's bigotry.
Indifference is not that you're against the vocal minority - if the rights of underprivileged people are being trampled, being indifferent means you condone it. It's usually not the nazis, crazies and generally loud people who are problematic to the minorities - it's the moderates who think that fighting for equality only means to oppress the other side.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
I was directed here a month ago so I can only assume I'm welcome to post here about my religious experiences without it being deemed a necropost. If I'm wrong, please allow me to make another thread.

I'll be copying from Facebook my experiences as I had them in order to document them here.

February 25 at 11:09pm
I have to pause my nightly reading to post this. The further I go into Ezekiel, the more this message resonates in me.

I'm remembering what happened yesterday while I was away at the park. I had left the house to go for a walk, but only after I spoke to my mother about what she was watching on the internet. It was a debate I haven't taken the time to see yet, but one of the debaters said something terribly vulgar against the Lord God Almighty that upset my mother greatly. She said that she never wishes death on anyone, but the gravity of what was said was so much that she felt it was necessary.

I could tell that she was upset but I also thought back to what I heard of how by wishing death on someone, you've killed them already in your heart. So I went out for a walk and this message followed me as I went. Now, as you may already know, I turned back early from my walk, but this was because my heart was heavy with my thoughts. I wanted to remind her - though I'm certain she's more aware than I am - but I didn't want to approach her personally out of fear of repercussion (I've learned in my short while on Earth that opening one's mouth - even if one sees oneself as wise - can have disastrous results).

So I turned back home, and on my way, I asked God what I should do. I felt the words "tell her", which I'm certain meant "you should be honest and tell her how you feel" and nothing else that might be antagonistic. I replied something along the lines of "I would, but I'm afraid. My words are weak, but Yours are strong. Can you use someone else to tell her?" There was no further response, and I know that I used my own fear as an excuse to defy God. I know I must repent for this.

I continued walking and that's when I noticed the gathering of people outside the church. I wondered what the commotion was but felt that I shouldn't get involved seeing as I'm not someone who runs the church's affairs. I returned home to contact Jay and ask him if everything was alright and if he needed help with anything. He told me about the women's retreat and he asked if my mother was interested in going. I asked my mother and she said that she'd love to go. Through the course of events, the next twenty minutes saw her joining the women of Harvest Oaks to the retreat.

She came home today absolutely glad that she went and overcome by the friendly relationships she formed and strengthened over the past day and the testimonies of the speakers. I know that all this is good and that it was certainly God's will that all this took place as it did.

But now I wonder... When I asked God if He might put someone in her path that would speak to her in the way that she needed to hear, was this His answer? Though I received no further confirmation from the Lord following my request, the fact that everything worked out so perfectly and served a greater good has me feeling that this is true, that He wouldn't leave my mother to walk in grief.

I'm not sure what exactly was said during the retreat or on the way to and from it, but I'd like to think that something important was said that will help us all to learn to forgive the vulgarity of others.

I'm sorry if I might be rambling, I just had to get my words out. Also, if anyone is offended by anything I posted above or feels this would've been better left in private, I'm deeply sorry; this just felt like something I had to do.


I went to bed that night reflecting on this post. This is what was posted the morning after.

February 26 at 10:06am
I shouldn't be bringing my phone to church to play Pokemon Go anymore. The temptations and distractions of this world have no place in the house of God.

Where Jeremiah was thrown against his will into the cistern after prophesying the words of God against Jerusalem and left imprisoned in the darkness and the filth to pray for deliverance, I've instead ran joyously into the darkness with no righteousness to show for it. My own temptations have held prison over me. I understand this now.

Nothing of this world is worth the sacrifice of fellowship. Please let those around me know that I'm sorry.


I went to church that day with an increased sense of spirituality. For the first time in my knowledge of attending church, I stood and sang along with others and shared a testimony with the assistant pastor Mark, which I go into detail below.

February 26 at 6:13pm
I'm going to share with you what I shared with Mark today concerning the burden of sin I felt last night. Although there was much more to this experience than I feel I can share, this is what little I'm allowed. I may very well be wrong, but I haven't felt the wrath of God against me as I did last night through the day, so I can only assume I have His permission.

I was doing my nightly reading in the early hours of the morning last night (starting Ezekiel) when I felt the need to stop and speak about how God has fulfilled His will through my life over the past days. This post is up on my page so I'm not going to repeat it, but immediately afterward, I lied down to close my eyes as I started getting a light headache from staring at the monitor before my reading. I drew my sheet over me, crossed my arms over my chest as I usually do and closed my eyes, and that's when God spoke to me in a vision.

Although I was very much awake during this whole thing, I could feel the weight of the sin I bear heavy on me. This weight came in the form of very real shackles and chains that bound me by the wrists and crossed over my chest to the ground behind me. I looked outward into a dark, stormy sky; the clouds sown over me, separating me from God as a mighty wind blew me back. I cried out to God that He might forgive me of my sins and that He might not forsake me. I felt very much like I was living the parts of the Bible where it said that God put His hand against the tribes of Israel for their defiance and worship of wooden idols.

I was very afraid in that moment as I felt that God might leave me, but after I poured out my heart in repentance to the Lord, I felt the winds stop and I could feel the sky opening, although the clouds still blocked my vision. At that moment, the shackles that bound my wrists were cut off and the chains pulled away and I was taken away to another place.

This is where things get complicated, because this is the beginning of what I feel I no longer have the permission to tell. I told Mark in simple terms that what God showed me were things that were both beautiful and terrifying. I saw myself in the grand scheme of things and I was very small. I acknowledged my smallness, but when I went to proclaim my insignificance, God shut my mouth so that I wouldn't speak such words. It was an incredible and - frankly - frightening experience to have God correct me in that moment, that I wouldn't curse His craftsmanship in my body and soul and the ways in which His works are fulfilled in and through me.

As I took in what He showed me, I spoke out how I wished to share these visions with my friends on Facebook, but I was suddenly taken away from these beautiful and magnificent visions into something utterly terrifying. Although He spoke no words, I knew that I had committed folly as I am only a simple man and not one whose place in life is to be a prophet of the Lord. After taken through the darkness, I was once again returned to a cautious peace, bearing the warning that I dare not speak what God has not put in my mouth, that I might not prophesy for my own gain but only for His glory.

If the time comes that I'm given permission from the Lord to share the other things I've seen, I'll do so, but only in His time. If it is His will, it will be done; otherwise I will perish the thought as the folly of a sinful and prideful heart.


I went to the Wednesday night group meeting last week (called Elevate) where I struggled to communicate and felt that I was losing my sense of place. I spoke to Mark and another man who held the meeting that night about what I felt and they directed me to some online media. I listened to what they shared and I followed it up with these.

March 15 at 11:03pm
By the three (self-deception, shame and survival) I'm riddled by shame the most. I'm constantly in fear of what others think of me and how I'm doing wrong by them. When no words are said is when I'm most likely to fall apart because it's at that moment that I'm truly alone with my thoughts. I'm truly sorry to those I've tried to get to admit to me that I've done wrong to validate my fears; I shouldn't ask such things of you.

But how do I solve this? I need to be alone. I need to come to terms with who I am and what consequences my conscious actions actually create. I need to know when I'm responsible for my own shame or when it's something out of my control. I need to go out into the world and spend a moment with nature; in the tranquility beside a running stream. I need to learn what it means to truly be and to live in the moment so that I can find the joy and the beauty of living.

The pain I experience I place on myself. I live in no physical pain, yet I'm overcome at times. I need to be in a place where I'm reminded how little I actually hurt so that I can put my mind at ease to truly start finding the answers I'm looking for. This might mean walking away from people for days at a time; it might even mean denying myself the social interactions I feel most inclined to engage in, at least until I'm whole again.

If I'm upset, my being upset will only rub off on you and you don't deserve my brand of negativity.

I've asked others to find answers for me, but I don't think that will actually teach me all that I need to know until I've gone through this trial first.

March 16 at 3:38pm
I've been incredibly self-serving in my desire to become one with the church. I've shown up in the hopes that something substantial would happen and I've used whatever means necessary to make comfort with this selfishness; to explain away the worries and the doubts that come with a guilty conscience. This is something I've sought out instead of being there for the people and to learn to become a better Christian.

I'm driven by greed and I realize this now. If it weren't for this, I can't honestly say I'd stay. If I'm ever going to return, I need to unlearn these selfish desires and demands for the world to entertain me.

March 16 at 7:16pm
Art truly does imitate life, as the more I learn about myself, the more I see my own reflection in the person of Corfaisus Salundras. Rage, Greed and Fear are my greatest demons and I've allowed them to inspire me for many years now. My rage consumes my relationship with my family, my greed draws me out to do for myself regardless of who it hurts, and my fear is what I'm left with when I realize what I've done.

My story up to now is this:

I was born into a poor neighborhood with little to do than go to school and spend time at home. We had our family and sacrifices were made to stay afloat. Later we moved away from the people who knew us and started a new life in the home we currently have. I changed schools after some more violent classmates started following me home and throwing whatever they could find at me and dumping over my trashcan. It was at this new school that I found my one good friend and we spent many years together until we eventually grew apart. Now I'm trying to start up again but it's hard. I can only think I know what would make me happy - what would entertain me - and that temptation leaves me shaken.

Now let's take Corfaisus' story:

Corfaisus was born into a family who lived in a cave after being banished for the actions of their relatives. He spent the first few years with only his family and their teachings to occupy himself with. Later, his brother would take a step out into the world in a quest to redeem his family's legacy, but others in his family doubted the chance that he'd succeed and took matters into their own hands. They left the cave, revealing themselves to those who hated them and spit and cursed them for their namesake, and eventually made their way aboard a ship headed elsewhere.

Coming back ashore, they made their way to Hronulum where they'd be able to start anew, where people didn't know their name. It was here that Corfaisus made his one good friend, a boy named Vrenmasil, and they spent years together. Corfaisus told him everything, but despite his family's curse, Vrenmasil never left him... though that would later change when a mishap with a stolen apple would lead Vrenmasil to deny his association with Corfaisus to save himself from punishment.

Corfaisus was taken away to the port to live out his punishment. Fearing he had lost his only friend, Corfaisus soon spiraled into a depression that would ultimately threaten to claim his life. When he could take it no longer, he threw himself off a cliff into the ocean outside the port of Hronulum. This would've been where his story ended, but he was taken up out of the ocean; however, not by the Goddesses, but by Chaos and his children, Rage, Greed and Fear.

They promised him a life of satisfaction and meaning if only he would follow them. It was by this promise that he sold his soul and lead him through the darkest years of his life as the puppet of Chaos and his children who inspired his every action to benefit their cause. Now he's starting to feel the consequences of his actions and wants to walk away from it all, but he lives in fear that there's no way out as he'd have to do it alone; something he hasn't been since he was taken to the port. He wants desperately to be separated from Chaos and taken back into the arms of the Goddesses, but he can't bring himself to repent and give up all that he has.

The similarities should be evident. We both had shaky upbringings, both founded a single friendship that carried us through our teen years and are now grasping in the dark for contentment. We both struggle between our earthly desires and the selflessness we're taught to live in, leaving us in a pit of emptiness and uncertainty. I know the way Corfaisus' story reads out and I feel it's the same for me unless I make a change.

And like it or not, this is my story.


The reason why I ended this post the way I did was because I felt like the good people of the church who responded gave me more of a sugarcoated answer than what I felt was required of the situation. Since then, I've only really posted about my bike rides and other less spiritual stuff.
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