WHEN DO YOU GROW UP?

Posts

Pages: first prev 123 next last
Probably never on the inside.
Martial Arts really help alot though.
Yellow Magic
Could I BE any more Chandler Bing from Friends (TM)?
3154
Felt like commenting on an earlier post which I kinda disagree with.


author=Alichains
I think it's when "you" realize that it's not about "you" and there is no need to make it about "you". Sometimes the only thing "you" need to have is an ear.

I'd argue that it's all about "you".

- Your thoughts are your own.

- Everything you know about everything besides yourself is only experienced via your conscience, including concepts of language, surroundings, any life experiences you've ever had or thought about. When it comes to other people, you define them by your own thoughts: what you think of them, and what you think they think of you.

- Overall, how you perceive the world will never be the same as how any other person perceives it.

- Finally (and the most depressing point, which is why I'm hiding it):


Lovers, friends, family will come and go...the only constant in your life is you.
YM, I both agree and disagree with you! Since yup 100%, the only person who is always guaranteed to be in your life is you! This isn't necessarily depressing, it's just like... well, it's the reality of the situation. I think it's an incredibly beautiful thing that you can complete yourself and give yourself a whole life all by yourself! It certainly made me appreciate my relationships more, since I stopped trying to cling to other people for meaning and simply embraced the fact I spent time with them because I love them.

and then the prickly veneer slips away and everyone discovers that emmych is a massive sap

...anyway, the main place I disagree is the absence of a "and everyone else feels the exact same way, and this should be respected." While it's important to realize you are the most important person in your life, it's crummy to forget that other people Exist and are just as complex and important as you! I try to treat all people around me with respect. I am not always good at this. But I try, and that is important.
I'm with emmych. You come first - which is why it is such a vital difference if you care about yourself and love yourself as opposed to not doing it and not feeling that way. For myself, it is an uplifting feeling to know you have a constant in your life, a constant source of support love and energy. For others it might very well be depressing.

I think what Alichains is referring to is rather vague. My first guess is taking responsibility for your actions as well as having a level of respect for everyone - knowing that others have their own life, their own struggles, and deserve as much respect as you demand for yourself.
This does not have to contradict your placement in the center, though. So I agree with your sentiment, YM. Having respect does not mean placing others above yourself.
BizarreMonkey
I'll never change. "Me" is better than your opinion, dummy!
1625
It's a loaded question. Physically, I've never grown up, I've got Pan-hypo-pit disorder, more commonly known as "Peter Pan Syndrome".

Outside of being unable to fly, I'm basically peter pan, my age, legally-- is 27, but most people say I look like I'm 13/14.

As for mental maturity, it's not something i find easy to quantify, especially not given that what rates mental maturity is a subjective matter of opinion. Personally, I like to think it's how you are able to deal with social situations and situations in general, how responsible and diplomatic you are. This way, you can act like a kid, but still be hells of responsible.

I find the fixation of maturity being a transition to being able to resemble a dead fish is commonly used by those with an inferiority complex, not to say that being serious and prim is at all immature, acting like something youre not to me, shows a great deal of immaturity.

Like, if you aren't happy with yourself, if you think you seem too young to the point you're acting older than you're legitimately at the stage of accepting, then that speaks miles more of immaturity than just being goofy and silly sometimes does.

Maturation speaks to me as an acceptance of who you are, your flaws and strengths, and being able to find a way to use such in a moral or in a way your opinions support.

In that manner, I'm probably pretty mature, I act like a clown with a short temper because it's fun, mostly. But also it's to veil some flaws i know about, but don't want to let loose.

On the whole thing of putting yourself first, I recognize that I am incredibly self-serving. That said, I will take responsibility for hella fucking up, my current name is a sort of inflection of that, as is the fact I'm paying this site 5 dollars a month now, it's like "Biz tax" because man do I do some dumb shit.

That said, people are different, some get a huge amount of good juju from helping others, some are all out for themselves, neither is right or wrong, so long as you aren't a dick about it.

Technically, we are all instinctively wired to make ourselves happy, but we may rely on others for that, for example, one who helps people overcome problems is also helping themselves, because it gives them a high, they feel like they've done a good deed. You may help others, but in the end, you are still helping yourself, you're just less aware of it. It's a good way to be, don't get me wrong! Instead of being a self-serving piece of human gargbage like I am, you're contributing to the lives of others. In that regard, I admit I do largely envy you, because from where I stand, you are a better person than I can be.

Okay, technically, I do the same, but in a way where I'm completely happy. I make games, see? Thats sort of a thing, I make them with the interest of fun and character in mind, to not only be able to look at this thing and say "I did that", but others can play and enjoy them, and then, I've purchased for a lot of time and effort, a bit of estate in their mind. To think that I could make a game that someone would carry with them forever, the thought is intoxicating.

I think the scenario where a grandparent gets their children's children to play like, I dunno, Intelligence: 314th, or Perseverance: Adherence, that will be my moment where I can look up to the clouds in glee and be like "I can die happy, now."

I would like that. That heartwarming feeling when your game becomes some prodigious family hand-me-down through generations. IOf I can do that, then I've become immortal, and that's all I want before I leave this world behind, for my memories, ideas and stuff to exist essentially ~ath of our planet, our species.

I guess you'd call that fame? I dunno, I don't really see it that way, I seek reverence for my games, not me as a developer. I mean I play a part in half of the fuckin' things now, so if the games are remembered I'm gonna be.

I've already made huge leaps into being recognized in the indie scene, I've beheld people clamouring in awe at what I've created, it's really special when that happens to me. I like hearing when people are just blown away. I think the best example was in that interview with the RealIndie, where he said "This is awesome you guys! Guys, how can you not download and play this??"

My reverence being what it is on Desura and to a lesser extent, gamejolt, has ultimately made me less invested in how poorly I may be doing over here. Mostly, I think joining in on the forum discussions heavily like I do was a pretty large mistake, if only because, I did it in a time where I wasn't in the best mood or state of mind, and ultimately it was a negative reflection on me and my character, and as such, the games are unspokenly judged on that virtue.

Sorry, I decided to go and get all reminisce-like. Please, do carry on!
author=Kylaila
I think what Alichains is referring to is rather vague. My first guess is taking responsibility for your actions as well as having a level of respect for everyone - knowing that others have their own life, their own struggles, and deserve as much respect as you demand for yourself.
This does not have to contradict your placement in the center, though. So I agree with your sentiment, YM. Having respect does not mean placing others above yourself.


Pretty much. It's recognizing that the world is a big place. People have their own experiences and struggles; a lot of which won't conform to your own. If you don't listen and respect that, you'll find yourself ignorant, angry, naive and bigoted. That is simply not a good place for anyone to be.
It's a process, not a number.

Some people are selfish twits until the day they die.
Some people are adults at 15, having to grow up fast due to tragedy.
Some at 18, some at 32.
Some people grew up wrong, learning that adults are or aren't something that isn't true of all adults.

Essentially, it varies from person to person.

By the latter (growing up wrong), I mean some people think adulthood is wholly about responsibility. But it's not. Another key part of adulthood is determining what you want out of life, and making your own decisions. This might mean that you might suck it up and get a job at TasteeFreeze to support your family, it might also mean that if you have family pushing you into crappy work being an adult is also learning to say no and make your own decisions. Sometimes you do take a career but downsize it so you can manage to see friends and family.
Yellow Magic
Could I BE any more Chandler Bing from Friends (TM)?
3154
author=emmych
YM, I both agree and disagree with you! Since yup 100%, the only person who is always guaranteed to be in your life is you! This isn't necessarily depressing, it's just like... well, it's the reality of the situation.

Personally I find reality depressing, but that might just be me ;(

It certainly made me appreciate my relationships more, since I stopped trying to cling to other people for meaning and simply embraced the fact I spent time with them because I love them.

That's an interesting way to look at things, I gotta say!

other people Exist and are just as complex and important as you!

Complex, yeah, as important to me as myself...idk. I mean, I personally would like other people to be more important than myself, but objectively speaking, because the only constant in my life is myself, it's really difficult to see things that way.

author=Alichains
Pretty much. It's recognizing that the world is a big place. People have their own experiences and struggles; a lot of which won't conform to your own. If you don't listen and respect that, you'll find yourself ignorant, angry, naive and bigoted. That is simply not a good place for anyone to be.

Agreed, but at the same time one should not keep too open a mind and just agree with everyone elses' ideas outright.
Mirak
Stand back. Artist at work. I paint with enthusiasm if not with talent.
9505
I wouldn't know when you're supposed to be grown up because at my 25 years of age i'm still not a grown up.

Some people say it is when you reach economic independency but with the job market as it is, i haven't been able to find a stable job in a year and a half that i began scouting, so if i don't have a job and are therefore incapable of sustaining myself, that means i am not a grown up isn't it? Life is so shit.
Stupid robots, stealing mah jerbs.
When you start working and supporting yourself 100%
BizarreMonkey
I'll never change. "Me" is better than your opinion, dummy!
1625
author=Yeaster
When you start working and supporting yourself 100%
What if you can't physically work?

That's a very corporate emotionally-devoid answer I gotta say. Also no one ever truly supports themselves 100% unless they don't have money, don't pay wages, or rely on any human services.

That money your earn working pays for other people to support you, it pays for a landlord to trust you with his house, it pays for the power that goes to said house, Economics 101; working and being 100% independent is something very few human beings can do, there's also the lack of security since being totally independent would mean having to find a piece of land that's uninhabited and then hope no one decides to be a cunt and demolishes it or such..
Max McGee
with sorrow down past the fence
9219
author=Solitayre
Growing up isn't really something that happens. People fake it until it becomes the truth. Some people fake it their whole lives.

This is actually true.

author=SnowOwl
Stupid robots, stealing mah jerbs.

They tuk arr jerrrbs!

What if you can't physically work?

That's a very corporate emotionally-devoid answer I gotta say. Also no one ever truly supports themselves 100% unless they don't have money, don't pay wages, or rely on any human services.

That money your earn working pays for other people to support you, it pays for a landlord to trust you with his house, it pays for the power that goes to said house, Economics 101; working and being 100% independent is something very few human beings can do, there's also the lack of security since being totally independent would mean having to find a piece of land that's uninhabited and then hope no one decides to be a cunt and demolishes it or such..

I agree with this. By this robologic, my Crohn's Disease makes it impossible for me to ever grow up. Because I sure as hell am too sick to work a full time job that will support me at any reasonable lifestyle level. Not to mention pay the costs of medicine I can't fucking afford.

Like peter fucking pan, I am a boy who can never grow up. Because my digestive system doesn't work? Fuck that.

Heck, even non-physical conditions can jeopardize someone's ability to support themselves 100%. I mean, again here I am example. I have a crippling anxiety disorder that I can't really afford to treat. As a result, I am a 29 year old man getting by with no driver's license, because driving is one of the things I live in unholy irrational terror of. Again, this factor in why I cannot support myself speaks to something besides pure immaturity.

On a positive note, the other day I finally started to realize that I was kind of a big deal in my chosen field of endeavor. More than anything else to me, that felt like growing up.

Some people say it is when you reach economic independency but with the job market as it is, i haven't been able to find a stable job in a year and a half that i began scouting, so if i don't have a job and are therefore incapable of sustaining myself, that means i am not a grown up isn't it? Life is so shit.

Yeah that's the other thing, you can be mad able-bodied and still struggle to meet this standard of "maturity". Back in '08/'09, shit was so bad in the US that as a college graduate I couldn't beg borrow or steal a shitty retail job at fucking Gamestop or Barnes & Noble. True story.
First you need to define what you find childish. Such things generally include prioritizing your own belief over general or common knowledge, harming others for your own gain (you really don't need to throw others under the bus to get ahead), etc.

In other words you never "grow up" because growing is something that constantly happens until you die. However maturity is when you become aware of everything, not just your own little world. For example, most Americans feel entitled to be offended by every little thing and then feel further entitled to blow it out of proportion. Physical example, WetMattos's thread about how a vast minority of comments that were likely trolling are seriously indicative of society at large. That is childish.

Yet another childish behavior: Thinking that you know shit because you heard it from one biased source. Instead opting to find out everything you can from reliable sources and defining your own opinion on the matter if opinions are relevant and facts elude the topic at hand.

Maturity comes in a variety of ways, but mainly it's when you stop acting like a child and thinking shit like "That's wrong/right!" because right and wrong are a matter of perspective. Example: In Africa there is a tribe that eats the foreskin of 5 year old boys when they get circumcised off the tip of a banana. Most Americans will say that's wrong but not produce any evidence of it being wrong, by the definition of wrong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwBao-Tb_BA

In other words when you realize you're acting like a twit and not learning a damn thing because you know it all and you're right because you say so and finally stop, you'll be "grown up", or as you stated "mature". Perspective is key here and not the kind of perspective about a single event but rather life perspective. When you realize your perspective isn't right you'll be mature.
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
-C.S. Lewis
BizarreMonkey
I'll never change. "Me" is better than your opinion, dummy!
1625
I've had an epiphany that everyone else is having, growing up is just a buzzword, maturing? Buzzword. It's all namby-pamby horseshit that encourages kids to go with the corporate machine and be responsible and blarrr...

Being an existential thinker, I think the terms immature, mature, right, wrong, good, bad, evil whatever... are all buzzwords. They are invented by humans to criticize or aggrandize subjectively a topic or a target.

They hold no value in the vast scheme of the universe. The terms are very human ones.

@Max McGee: Fun fact, I do have a disease called Pan Hypo Pit, which ceases my production of testosterone, which in turn means puberty would never feasibly happen (it does but it's through supplements I take each day).

It's often called Peter Pan Syndrome. I literally am the closest thing one can be to Peter Pan, I just can't fly.

"Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late." -some asshole on the internet
BizarreMonkey
I'll never change. "Me" is better than your opinion, dummy!
1625
God's mistake is my face.

:D

I guess we are running low on what to talk about, I've boned myself out so now I'm just making dumb witticisms in the interest of farcical self-sabotage.
When you realize your parents aren't all knowing and perfect and make mistakes just like everyone else but luckily a lot of the time they've already experience everything that you're going through and can help guide you.
Max McGee
with sorrow down past the fence
9219
@megaman8x:

No, no, no, that's the end of childhood, not the beginning of being an adult.

author=BowelMovement
I've had an epiphany that everyone else is having, growing up is just a buzzword, maturing? Buzzword. It's all namby-pamby horseshit that encourages kids to go with the corporate machine and be responsible and blarrr...

Being an existential thinker, I think the terms immature, mature, right, wrong, good, bad, evil whatever... are all buzzwords. They are invented by humans to criticize or aggrandize subjectively a topic or a target.

They hold no value in the vast scheme of the universe. The terms are very human ones.

@Max McGee: Fun fact, I do have a disease called Pan Hypo Pit, which ceases my production of testosterone, which in turn means puberty would never feasibly happen (it does but it's through supplements I take each day).

It's often called Peter Pan Syndrome. I literally am the closest thing one can be to Peter Pan, I just can't fly.


Wow, I had no idea that was a thing.
Pages: first prev 123 next last