CATCHING UP THREAD

author=facesforce
Let me see... I just returned from Asia. I was working in Japan as a car salesman, but after I quit, I did not qualify for a working visa. So, without enough money to return to the states, I got a ticket to taiwan and spent the next 3 months as a illegal teacher. Finally, after a bad breakup, I became a homeless priest in Taipei, until the State let me borrow money to return to America last month. Currently recovering from malnutrition.

...how did you end up living a life like this (minus the bad breakup) and where do I sign up?

As for me, I'm not gonna lie about what's been on my mind the most the last couple of months (although everyone on Slack probably knows by now):

-> Met a cool lady at a party a couple months ago. Asked her out, she said yes, but never thought of it as a date. OK, cool, whatever.
-> A week or so later, she wants to go on a day-trip to Dublin with me. Whoa, what luck! Of course I oblige.
-> In the weeks leading up to the trip we chat on Facebook every day (about even the most mundane stuff, like what we're doing that day) meet up pretty much every week, and she keeps lending me stuff like video games and comics. Sweet! Wait till I tell my friends about this!
-> I then learn she has serious baggage in the form of several exes and mental issues (part of the reason she's been unemployed for 2 years, btw). Hmm, maybe we can work through that?
-> At this point everyone I talk to about her thinks we're dating. Some couples outright laugh at me for suggesting that we're not.
-> As part of the above, one of my friends asks me what's going on between me and her, as he was interested in her too. Welp, friendship (thankfully almost and not quite) ruined.
-> We go to Dublin and its not really a romantic thing, but she's still really keen on hanging out with me afterwards. Still chatting every day and all that jazz.
-> We meet up every week UP UNTIL the point where I find out that she was dating someone else all along, and it wasn't even someone she liked very much. Also, she wanted to go to Dublin with me because she was having problems with an ex at the time.
-> The kicker: She broke up with this guy a couple days after talking to her to me (Maybe there's still a chance?!!) - but 10 days later she ends up dating someone else.


MFW:




For better or for worse, we're still friends, but I haven't met her in person in 2 weeks as I've been abroad/away from London, and tbh want to keep it that way for a while...although I am going to gig with her in a couple of weeks.

I don't have a problem with being friends with her as she had a load of issues anyway - but my trust in people really, really took a hit as a result from this. Why did everyone else think we were dating? Why was she okay with doing all this 1-on-1 stuff with me while she was dating other men, and complaining about them to me as well?

Worst of all: Am I EVER going to have any luck with relationships (hell, even STARTING one), or am I doomed to be one-of-those forever-alone types? Then again, most of my guy friends have been single forever themselves - why are we finding it so hard to get dates? Is it just how it is for straight men now?

....I'd rather just focus on RPG Maker tbh

author=facesforce
@Yellowmagic: Ahaha, you don't even want to signup for my kind of luck. Getting into that situation was so dangerous it was unreal; I was planning on running to Hong Kong or Austrailia, when my insane ex threw me out of my apartment, during a typhoon. Then she got me fired, tried to call the taiwanese government on me and I just barely managed to become a missionary for the homeless in Taipei and avoided starving.

Honestly dude - minus the breakup and starving thing that sounds like a hell of a time...you should write a book about your experiences, anyway. You'd make mad bank.

author=facesforce
That being said, I can relate to the whole relationship deal. It's rough out there, and then you got to be careful not to deal with a crazy woman like my ex or the girl in your posts.

Yeah, I'd rather just be in a long-term relationship with jRPGs

author=facesforce
Let me see... I just returned from Asia. I was working in Japan as a car salesman, but after I quit, I did not qualify for a working visa. So, without enough money to return to the states, I got a ticket to taiwan and spent the next 3 months as a illegal teacher. Finally, after a bad breakup, I became a homeless priest in Taipei, until the State let me borrow money to return to America last month. Currently recovering from malnutrition.

Yeah - bad luck aside, that sounds like a pretty memorable life experience!

Coincidentally, I've been looking into teaching English abroad with a temporary work Visa... potentially (and hopefully) Japan or South Korea. I've looked into small studio apartments in Osaka, Tokyo, Kyoto, Seoul, etc. There are so many hoops to jump through though. XD

author=Kylaila
And yellow magic .. keep your chin up *huuuug*
We sometimes sabotage ourselves, sometimes we just have bad luck, but that can change any time. It's possible for you to find your dates or mates same as anyone else. The thing is tho, the moment we doubt our ability to do so .. it does drop easily.
So take your time to recover, as well as to recover trust in yourself - you deserve your happiness.

Thank you Kylaila! *hug* I'm trying my best not to be bitter about the whole thing, because she really was not a great person and is far better off as just a friend. And I most certainly trust myself, but...I don't think I'll be able to trust others 100% for a while now.

There's even a cute guy I'd like to get closer to. Just obviously this time of year is busy, so I hope his curiosity for me is still there, y'know. Hard to tell with the snaps of dialogue and no real responding possible.
... I should be more confident in myself. The interest was quite clear before.. sooo.. yeah. Let's just roll with that.

Why don't you ask him out? Actually, let me rephrase that: Please ask him out! This dating thing is hard enough for (straight) guys as it is.

author=Blindmind
Coincidentally, I've been looking into teaching English abroad with a temporary work Visa... potentially (and hopefully) Japan or South Korea. I've looked into small studio apartments in Osaka, Tokyo, Kyoto, Seoul, etc. There are so many hoops to jump through though. XD

I'm guessing you've looked at the JET programme? It's pretty well known here in the UK, and apparently helps streamline the process of getting into Japan and working as a teacher for a year...I don't think you're guaranteed to get somewhere lively like Tokyo or Osaka though. I've seen videos of JET teachers in random villages, which is still probably a hell of an experience, but...well, you know.

author=ivoryjones
@ym

why am i so glad to know the origin of your avatar and new user title lmfao

Hahahaha, honestly, the avatar and user title aren't directly related, but I can see how you might think so.

But yeah, I thought you might get a kick out of this story. The PM I sent to you a week or two ago about juicy gossip from my end? This is what I wanted to chat to you about.

author=Kylaila
More *huuugs*. Aye, I hope you recover well. You're a great guy.

Aw, thanks again! *More more hugs*

He's in a different part of Germany. Otherwise I'd have said TEA GET! Or something along the lines. So uhhh. Yeaah. Tricky. I do get a really friendly, open-minded and kind vibe from him (+ similar weaknesses, hah!), but either way, I'll strike up a chance to just chat for a while.
Girls gotta make moves too, even if it's indirect ones.

Oh, I can see how that'd be a problem...how did you even meet this guy? It'd be a lot better if you made indirect moves too, ya know. ;p

There's my classmates, but they were either boring or too closed-off. There is one friendly guy in my Japanese class tho .. I never got to talk to him. Wasn't as much behind it since I was still recovering and focused elsewhere, but I'm as ready as I can be, and would really like some nice experiences to weight up shit.

Guess it could always be worth chatting with this guy too. No need to put all your eggs in one basket - I suppose I've learnt that that the hard way LMAO

@YM
That's... really rough. I'm sorry, man.
I often find myself thinking the same things, doubting whether I'll ever have success, since I apparently generate no interest at all, even though I know thinking like that isn't healthy. I hope you'll succeed in breaking from that thinking pattern.

Luckily not generating interest means I mostly don't even get into situations where I can get hurt that bad. There's a bright side to everything, I guess.

author=Kylaila
Girls gotta make moves too, even if it's indirect ones.

For his sake, be direct.

Aw, I'm sorry that happened, YM! That sounds like a mess...

Being direct usually makes things easier, after being direct! Mustering the courage to do anything other than drop hints can be difficult. N-not that I know much about that!

My break from school is ending which sucks. Throughout break I didn't go to a single swim practice for one reason or another. Not really looking forward to any of the repercussions of this.

My 'love life' is stagnant as always, but that's fine with me since I have other things to worry about!

@ym> That sounds real tough man. Maybe you need to be a *bit* more forward? I have no idea how these sort of things work though, so...

@kylaila> go! (>u<)b
And repeating what jeroen said, be direct. Guys are... generally oblivious to these stuff unless it's right in front of them. And I can attest to that.

@gourd> you're not alone at that (=_=)b

Here goes:
* I flunked all my courses last sem. Okay, I *did* pass one major, but...
Thanks to that, I'll be delayed by one bloody year. Ah well.

* My holiday "break" is only three weeks long. And I was sick for two of them (still am, actually, but much better than I was last week). Ah well.

* Karin (yes she's an actual person) and I got a bit more distant now. I thought it'll all be fine, that nothing'll change. I was wrong apparently. Even though she was pretty much how she was the last time we talked properly (a year ago), I could feel... some sort of wall between us. It suddenly became real difficult to approach her. And from tge looks of things, this'll only get worse. Ah well.

* When I got home, Dec 18, our house was flooded. A shout out to typhoon, who did an excellent job at soaking my belongings. Ah well.

* I got hit by a car this morning. Had to beg the driver to not make me pay for his dented bumper (I kinda was at the fault). Ah well.


* In other news, my friends trust me far more now than they used to, after that drinking incident last weekend. Long (puke-covered) story short, I simply happened to be the least drunk one in the group; made sure every one made it through the night alive. I mean, one of em tried to jump off the third floor. And another lied down on the highway. I'm not exactly looking forward to a sequel of that.

*chuckle* no directer approach needed than what I was doing already. Mutual interest piqued and shared. All just so much fun, hehe.
Still, the invite's a fun thing to do. On more friendy terms, then.