BUN-BO FORUM RPG

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I sit by my tankard of rootbeer and the bowl of peanuts being as inconspicuous as possible as I carefully and invisibly edge myself closer to the cheese. If it's by the bar I slide-ish to get closer, if it's elsewhere I just move seats closer and closer until I get there. Each new seat I sit in I sit in as if I had always sat in that with rootbeer and a giant bowl of peanuts (which also follow).

5
Hexatona
JESEUS MIMLLION SPOLERS
3702
("I see you are the former owner of this establishment")

(I love it)
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
We're just waiting on a Dudesoft I think
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
Hey guys, I probably should have left notice. I thought I could handle it, then I couldn't, then I felt bad, then I felt awkward, and then I gave up.

Basically, to make a long story short, I had to move in April when the house I'm renting was sold; and we found a perfect place available in Feb. Needless to say, I was not in any way prepared for this. Physically, nor financially. It meant me working double shifts until my eyes bled tears of insanity, and now the move is over. I still have some loose ends to tie up, but my personal time is a lot more relaxed and freer. If you're still game, I'll start this up again where you left off with a brief recap.

TL;DR: Sorry for the sudden absence.

This is about the pace I'm comfortable with. One post every couple of months.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
I'm game to pick this back up whenever you have time.
Hexatona
JESEUS MIMLLION SPOLERS
3702
It's the Critic Image that really pulls this all together. I'm game, DS, we have no chance to survive make your time.
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
Rick / Hexatona
With the grace of a swan, Rick dual-wields finger guns to a crowd of seething bar-goers.
"Oh, that's right, does anyone have like, anything, semi-sorta Macguffin shaped? It would probably be a lot easier if we all just like, emptied our pockets." Rick then pulls his triggers.
The effect is entirely lost on the crowd.




Chakes / Chears
With complete disregard to the present situation, Chakes leaps upon the bar, and clears it with a few kicks. At once, he announces the beginning of his improve style play, and directe several bar-goers as if they were regular cast members.
Thoroughly Boggled, the entire cast lines up and takes part in the play.

What do they do for you? No need to roll for it!
+1 Plot Point!




Attila / LockeZ
To astonishing effect, the proprietor bear is Maximum Boggled, and has to be think about your speech for a solid ten minutes to even grasp everything you said, let alone act.
You leave with the key, and your dignity.
+1 Plot Point!




Hameln / Shinan
With upmost stealth, you manage to move barstool to barstool without the barflies noticing. The beaver sitting next to the bear is telling a wildly tall tale that completely disinterests you, but enthralls his audience. There's a great deal of laughter for his jokes too. Almost too much laughter. As if a fourth wall was laughing along with the patrons.
Before long, you achieve your goal and obtain the table of cheese!
+1 Plot Point

(Damn it I lose the momentum of this... I guess I want a little bit of information)
Chakes
What'is that which thou desireth the MOST mine cast!? Perhabs not only thy cast but thy whole audience who beholds tis play. What about'thy, or thy (I start pointing random people at the bar including Rick and Hamein)

(this is pretty much what I have in mind, sorry for my lack of imagination at the moment hahahaha:

)

No need to roll dice.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
There seems to be a lot of noise coming from the bar, so I'm going to push my catapult in through the front door and wheel it up to one of the tables that has some customers, and order drinks for whoever is sitting there. And also order four giant plates of food for myself.

I'm going to introduce myself to the customers I bought drinks for:

"Hi, I'm part of a market research team that's trying to gauge the interest in this town in Macguffins. I was wondering if you would mind answering a few questions for me that will take less than five minutes, in exchange for free tickets to a new local theme park. Have you or any of your friends and family ever owned a Mcaguffin? How many people do you know who have bought Macguffins in the past? If you have owned a Macguffin before, can you tell me what happened to it, and whether you would purchase one again?"

Roll: 8
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
Sorry for the confusion, but Rick and Chakes are in one bar, and Hameln is in another, friendlier bar.
Hexatona
JESEUS MIMLLION SPOLERS
3702
While everyone is thoroughly distracted by singing about their dreams, I take the time to try and pick everyone's pockets!

If I find anything intersting, I'll keep it, but in the meanwhile I am also kinda of a dick so anything I don't find interesting I reverse pickpocket into someone else's pocket. That'll really get these rubes going.

6
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Oh. Somehow I missed that, and/or forgot over the course of two months without any actions. I'm going in the first bar, then. In an effort to unsplit the party as much as possible.
I eat the cheese in peace.

(having completely forgotten what we were on a quest for anyway)

11
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
Attila the Honey Badger / LockeZ Fighter Class

HP: 15 (-13)
Plot Points: 19
Lead Pieces: 80 LP
Status Effects: Omni-Effect: Euphoria. Makes the user feel amazing and trip out.


Shticks:
Devour: 5 - Eat someone whole, in one giant bite. They can escape with a Disarm Trap or Break Down Door roll, otherwise get burped up eventually and take 1d6 Damage! This can be used to carry someone, but the same damage applies.

Inventory:
- Catapult (1d6+X Damage, Fire Gun skill-based. X is determined by ammunition.)
- Mysterious MacGuffin Key
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-
-
-
-
-


Chakes Pierre / MrChears Wizard Class

HP: 7 (-3)
MP: 12
Plot Points: 19
Lead Pieces: 30 LP
Status Effects: N/A


Schticks:
Tragedy: 5 - Causes the Target to gain the Tragic status effect. Not only does the Target add +3 to all rolls, but the Animator will also go out of his way to torture the Target. Lasts 1d6 Turns.

Magical Schticks:
-

Inventory:
- Feather
- Wooden Door (w/ Magical Shielding)
- List of Signatures on back of menu
-
-
-
-
-


Rick O'Shea / Hexatona Thief Class

HP: 11 (-7)
Plot Points: 20
Lead Pieces: 80 LP
Status Effects: N/A


Chutzpah Skills:
Fast-Talk 6
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods 9
Sleight of Hand 9
Sneak 9

Shticks:
Lockpick - 6 Using whatever blunt object may be handy (including one's own head), the user begins to break the lock. The best way to break into a place--- is to BREAK into it!
Maximum Boggle: 8 - Only works when attacking from behind! Causes Target to remain Boggled for 3 Turns instead of 1!
Bag of Many Things: 5 - If the roll is successful, anything you want is inside the bag, except special story items, keys, or other meta-nonsense.
-
-
-
-

Inventory:
- Utility Knife (with a Frying Pan inside)
- Macguffin Key
- Stamp Collection
- Can of Red Paint
-
-
-
-


Hameln / Shinan Thief Class

HP: 12 (-9)
Plot Points: 18
Lead Pieces: 50 LP
Status Effects: N/A


Shticks:
Vanish - Can disappear entirely. A Smell roll can detect the user; as could anything the user walks through.
Maximum Boggle: 8 - Only works when attacking from behind! Causes Target to remain Boggled for 3 Turns instead of 1!
Bag of Many Things: 5 - If the roll is successful, anything you want is inside the bag, except special story items, keys, or other meta-nonsense.
-
-
-
-

Inventory:
- Needle
- Macguffin Key
-
-
-
-
-
-


Chakes / Chears
Springing from bar patron, to bar patron, Chakes spins and ducks across rhe crowd while singing;
"What doth thou dreamith,
What doth thou dreamith?
Doth thou hast thy dream within thy heartith?!
What doth thou dreeeeam?"
And for some darn reason, none of the Toons could fein to resist the alure of a musical number. One by one, the bar patrons joined in.
The Bear bellowed in perfect baritone:
"My heart doth desire the a river of blood to swim in.
To have mine enemies driven before me
And to hear the lamentation of the womeeeennn!"
Following this, Chakes jumps back to a new patron with the chorus; "What doth thou dreamith,
What doth thou dreamith?
Doth thou hast thy dream within thy heartith?!
What doth thou dreeeeam?"
Then the dog warrior belts out, "My dream be simple!
For all the lands to know my sword!
And to avoid an unsightly pimple!"
Chakes belts out the chorus again.
Now the Fencer Squirrel chimes in, "There is no dream, thou musteth know.
That bests eating ice cream.
Mine figure always suffers, though!"
Chakes again, with the chorus.
The thief weasel crows, "My lust for loot rules my world.
A treasure trove is mine dream.
It causes mine vision to be blurred!
Chakes choruses again, but then everyone joins in with it. Finally, he points at the lizard thief...



The lizard scowls, saying, "No musicals." Then he turns back to his root beer.
+1 Plot Point


Rick / Hexatona
With deft hands, Rick comes to possess a tea pot of little use, which (when placed in another Back Pocket), causes another barroom brawl.
The dog and weasel start at it again, with on-lookers noticing their own rearranged Back Pockets.
Rick finds a small Macguffin Key, a stamp collection, a can of red paint and 20 Lead Pieces.
Rick also finds +1 Plot Point!



Attila / LockeZ
After acquainting himself with a group of randoms, Attila learns a fundamental truth about this land; All dungeons have 1 Macguffin within them, together they create the mythical Red Herring of Destiny.
+1 Plot Point


After this revelation, Attila's Omni-Potion acts up again!
Attila's Omni-Effect: Euphoria. Makes the user feel amazing and trip out.


Hameln / Shinan
Meanwhile, in the Packum Inn, Hameln finds the best wedge of cheese and settles in for an epic mealtime...






...Unfortunately, there's something extra inside this one...
+1 Macguffin Key!
+1 Plot Point!
-3 Damage!
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Ah, well that makes things simpler. Fortunately, I know exactly where we can find a dungeon.

I'm going to gather the other party members in the bar with me - everyone but Hameln, I guess - and tell them to come with me. "OK, stop the shenanigans before I eat you. I think I know what we have to do next. It's so obvious. This is our first quest. I don't know why you idiots didn't think of it before. This is why I'm the smart one."

Then I drag them with me as I walk up to the bartender and say, "So, my companions and I are actually traveling adventurers. And this being a tavern in a small village, I was wondering if you might by any chance be having a problem with rats in your cellar. That need slaying."

Then I reach over the counter and grab the bartender by the face. And I move the bartender's jaw up and down as I turn to face back at my friends, and say, out of the corner of my mouth, in a fake doofy voice, pretending to be him, "Why yes, handsome adventurers, our tavern's basement is infested with rats, or maybe dire rats or rat kings or some other rat-like thing, whatever, sure! I'll give you one lead piece for each one you kill! If you can cut off the source of the rats, you can also eat here for free!"

Roll: 4
Hexatona
JESEUS MIMLLION SPOLERS
3702
(pfft, I love it, Lockez)

I hear Atilla's Hollering for male company of the adventuring sort, Give a farewell wink and finger guns in the Girl Squirrel, and allow myself to be corralled//manhandled into actually following the story.

"Hey, Big guy, I found this really important thing! It's a stamp collection, I think there's some really rare ones. Like, hey do any of you guys wanna buy this? Like, every one has always wanted to start a stamp collection, and think of how much time you'll save having this starter-set. I think it's worth AT LEAST 200 leads, but for you guys (which look like, honestly so nice, it's kinda scary) I'll let it go for a trifling 15 leads. You CAN'T beat that. Oh, also, here Atilla, I found a key thing. But that's not important right now."

I try to hock my stamps on these other bar rubes before we head into the basement and die. I want to die a rich squirrel, as my pappy always told me would never happen.

5
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
"Yeah, I have one of those keys too," I say. "Now we just have to find somewhere to stick them. And maybe find Hameln."
Chakes
I shell bringeth HameOut then

Roll 5