SORRY

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Well, I'm sorry, guys. In fact, I'm XxXhelazz, the old user that got banned one year ago. A year have passed and I'm still the same shit as before: Noone.

I tried everything; some rpgmaker forums, discord servers, some non rpgmaker forums, etc, but nothing works. As you may notice, I'm obsessed with this site bit this have gone to far.

My mental and fisical health have decreased during this fucking entire year. I lost like 10 kilos because lack of eating, had sleeping problems during the entire year, also had some emotional problems, etc. The cause of these problem was RMN... I can't let a fucking forum do this to me (Myself is the problem, of course), and I'm tired of everything. What really hurts me if that I don't have a place to post my game because noone takes me serious.

I tried to broke my PC and phone but then I thought it over and I prefer just not doing that.

I know this is all my blame, because why did I troll? Well, I don't know why, every time in my life I do stupid things with no reason and then regret what I did for years... The real problem is that this motherfucking obsesion is worring my friends and my family, they just notice how I changed, and this is not good, not at all.

I don't feel hate against RMN; not at all, though many guys from here do hate me a lot. I just though how fucking stupid, pathetic and sad is having depression for a fucking internet forum. I decided to quit off Rpg Maker. I can't use it, not without thinking of RMN, thinking of how my game would look if I'd hoste it there, what people would comment, etc; but then I remember that I was banned, and the rage come again for 20 minutes, just to become sadness for the rest of the day. Well, I'm also diagnosed with OCD and with Bipolar transtorn, maybe these things, and the RMN drama, are the problem.

I would like to be happy, and RMN can't form part of my happiness. So, I would try to find a good community, be a member there and just feel like someone. I don't wanna be in RMN for trolling or discussing... Just for being part of the community, just to feel that I'm something more than a troll, or an useless guy.

Look, I can't forget RMN, but I realised that, if noone wants me, I can't be a member... I failed every stupid attempt of being someone here, so that means something... That I should find my way, that I should find happiness and stop being obsessed with something that is not even possible. Guys, I'll say farewell, but this is not my end, when I'll feel better and a big ammount of time have passed; like 5-7 years, I'll ask if I could be unbanned.
Farewell, I hope the best for everyone.

Also, don't worry, This time I learned one lesson, that people would always see who you are, even if you try to hide under a mask; that you can't waste your opportunities, because then you will regret; than lies will destroy you and that if you have a bad reputation then don't matter how you'll try, you'll always be that idiot for the rest of your life.

May you tell me a good rpgmaker community. Please? Btw
bye

That said, maybe try a different engine instead of RM and make a new start. There's a lot of engines out there with different forums attached to them. It might help you break away.
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