HEXATONA WRITES TERRIBLE EROTIC FANFICTION OF RANDOM RMNERS AND VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS AND NOBODY CAN STOP HIM

I should let Suzy get in on this too.

----

Hojo paced back and forth in the dimly lit confines of his lab, a book in hand, furiously taking notes while glancing at a screen on the nearby desk.

"Subject S.C.D., acquired wandering near Cetra ruins, has been instructed to initiate coitus with Subject XIII. As an added incentive for co-operation, Subject has been notified that failure to accomplish this directive will result in being used in other, even less pleasant research."

He regarded the screen once more.

"Subject's advances towards Subject XIII thus far, while amusing, have so far met with abject failure."

Hojo then walked over the the desk, Holding down a finger near a microphone.

"Red XIII, we talked about this."

"Hojo, for the last time, stop trying to get me to mate with humans! I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish even."

Hojo sighed, "You don't seem to be grasping the concept of captivity, here. I have you under my control. As such, you will perform as I please!"

"And, really, what did you tell her? I mean, the things she's trying here, it's cute, and funny, but she's simultaneously looking pretend aroused while trying to stop herself from vomiting."

Hojo released the button with another sigh, and returned to pacing. Past the racks of specialty videos, past the recording equipment, the special viewing area. He nodded to himself once more, and came back to the desk.

"Okay, XIII. No, Nanaki, just this once. How long have you been in here? We must be going past our 1 year anniversary since the Turks brought you to me, yes?"

"...What's your point?"

"I imagine you must be fairly... frustrated right now."

"..."

"..."

The two of them both seemed to stare at each other in some form of understanding, through the cameras that separated them.

"Fine. ONE time!"

"Thank you, Nanaki."

Releasing the intercom button, Hojo quickly scribbled

"Results today. We shall see if they bear fruit."

And headed over to the special private viewing area he had assembled.

~Fin~

Yup, it's Locke Z

author=Corfaisus
Oh fun! Do me! DO MEEEE!

Hmmm, I can hardly deny such a heartfelt request.

-0-0-

It has been a number of days since The Hero of Time (or so the fairy had said at the moment) had expired right in front of him with a moblin arrow right in the eye. The fairy (who's name had been Navi) was so flabberghasted by the turn of events, she seemed to be overcome with some sort of embarassment and shock. In a stunning turn, the fairy had turned to him, commanded him to put on the Hero of Time's Clothes, and pretend to be him for the remainder of his journey.

In between the "Hey! Listen this time!"'s and "No one will know, right? I mean, like maybe 5 people saw him before."'s Navi had brought Corfaisus up on the journey.

Next up was fighting the King Dodongo. Navi remarked to herself how oddly excited Corfaisus had become at the mention of the creature, but chalked it up to him finally really getting into the role.

It wasn't until they had finally descended into the cavern, he had seen the great beast, and started removing all his armor and shouting that she began to really ponder just how excited he had been.

"Ohh boy, this is... this is a once in a lifetime chance! C'mon big guy, one bit, gobble me up!" Corfaisus shouted, waving his arms frantically.

"C-Corfaisus, what in the hell are you doing!?" Navi shouted, jumping up and down in his face. "What a minute... Are you one of those... EWW! EWEW EW~!!!"

It wasn't long before the inevitable happened. Corfaisus shouted in jubilation as he saw the giant gaping maw of the Great King Dodongo opened before him, and he practically leapt inside before dissapearing in one great gulp.

Two seconds later, it's mouth erupted in flames, and it went about it's business.

Navi just floated there for a few moments, shaking her head. "Nope. I'm just done. That asshole tree can find another goddamned fairy!"

And floated off, to get a few stiff drinks.

~Fin~

Fire Emblem Fibs: Slumberland Rodeo

After a long mission, involving a lot of desert sand, poisonous arrows, and being stuck partnering up with that utter buffoon, Liberty was looking forward to just relaxing.

She had just settled down for a quiet evening of reading when she heard the tell-tale grating of the gravel in front of her tent. Then, the tent flap opening.

"Uh, hey there, Liberty!" Said Vaike.

Sighing internally, Liberty answered curtly, "Hello, Vaike."

"So uh, yeah, The Vaike was wondering if maybe you wanted to join him for a drink?"

"I appreciate the offer, but I will spend tonight reading, thank you."

"Aww, c'mon, I thought you and the Vaike had a little something going on that last mission, ya know? You were sticking pretty close to me." He said, smirking a bit and scratching the back of his head.

Liberty paused her reading, and leveled a cool, spiteful gaze at the man over her reading, and said, "Ah. I think you are misunderstanding the difference between sound battle tactics, and affection. Let me assure you, any proximity to you you have attributed to affection, has been soundly, and firmly, been because of sound battle strategy."

The Vaike paused a moment, thinking about what was said. "Ah. So, umm, hmm...
What book are you reading? Looks interesting!"

Liberty began again in her cool tone, "I see that being kind but direct is insufficient. Let me be more direct. Vaike, if you ever come into my tent again, I will use this 'interesting book' to send you to a realm of agony we do not yet possess the vernacular to express properly."

"Sooo, that's a no on the drink, then."

"Correct. Goodnight, Vaike."

The sound of a closing tent flap and disturbed gravel faved into the distance.
Liberty reached over, and took a sip of tea.

"Ah, perfect temperature."

~Fin~

author=Jeroen_Sol
I was promised terrible erotic fanfiction. So far we've gotten just fanfiction.

Gotta step up your game, Hexa. Let's see some of that terrible smut of yours.

Hey, if you got time to lean, you got time to clean, buster!