HEXATONA WRITES TERRIBLE EROTIC FANFICTION OF RANDOM RMNERS AND VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS AND NOBODY CAN STOP HIM

A Goddess Appeared JUST IN TIME

Liberty was sitting in her brand new house when BAM the door exploded. and THERE was TIME GODDESS.

"TIME GODDESS HERE, You gots 30 seconds to fuck me or your 401K will depreciate in value!"

"Hey! My door! I Just got this house, bitch! And I'm australian, we don't have 401K's! And I'm not a Lesbian!"

"FUCK, okay just play along and I'll give you twenty dollars."

Liberty was going to say something but Twenty Dollars is Twenty dollars, so she tried to do an awkward scissor for a while until everyone got off which was pretty tiring to be honest.

"Hey where's my twenty dollars!"

"It was inside you Aaaalll Alooong!" and then she poofed!

Ten minutes later she found the money rolled up in her nostril. She pulled out after a lot of finagling, but it turned out to be a Canadian Twenty.

"Meeeeeeeerde!

~Fin~

Damn right it is.

Lucca To Have Me

"Sooz, trust me, this is going to knock your socks off!!" Lucca said, conspiratorially, while handing her a small package.

"A-all the other girls in the village have been whispering about it. I just had to try! So, um, how does it work?" Sooz said.

"What, you want me to demonstrate right here??" Lucca retorted. "The instructions are in the box! You'll do fine."

30 MINUTES LATER

"Okay, the instructions say, first... to insert..." Sooz looked at the device. pink, with a cord between two objects. one with a dial, and another that looked like one of the pills she had to give to horses sometimes on the farm.

"Oh, this ain't so bad." Blushing, she lifted her skirt, and gentle slid the pill-shaped object into her butt. "O-okay, and then just turn this dial..?"

The instant she touched the dial, it was like a lightning bolt lit up her entire body. "H-h-h-holllyyy F-f-ffuuckk!! NnnnngggAHHHH" She came almost immediately, and dropped the control dial. On contact with he floor, the dial broke off, and slid in a crack in the floor. "O-o-h Nnnnoooo FFFFFuck!" She squealed, as more waves of indescribable sensations washed over her.

"I-I can't get it out!! I'm clenching too much b-b-beCAAAAHHH"

TWO HOURS LATER

*knock knock* "Come in!" Lucca said, opening the door. There was nobody there, until she looked down at a buzzing sound she was hearing. There was sooz, dress smeared with dirt and arms shaking, crawling on the ground.

"-T-tttuuuurrn~~ Thhhissss OffffFUCK NNnnghghhhh"

~Fin~

Odd Jobs

Odd's predecessor, the previous janitor, had given him a list of Do's and Don'ts for cleaning the massive complex that was the Shinra Building. Written in a shakily drawn hand on the back of the sheaf of notes was the cryptic phrase "Don't fuck the spooky corpse more than once."

He'd pretty much passed it off as a joke until He got to the top floor and right out of the goddamn elevator, sure enough, there was a spooky, glowing, purple girl floating in a fish tank.

"More than once, huh..?" he murmured to himself, thinking...

* One Day Later *

"Hey! So, did you have fun last night? I sure did. Well mostly. I am still in the tank. But it's fine! Oh wait, are you busy? Well um, see you later!" The spooky corpse said as Odd walked past, cleaning the floor as usual.

It wasn't like it was... bad, per se, but it was certainly messy. There was a lot of cleanup afterwards. And then, wow, she talks... a lot...

After a week of her comments getting more and more desperate for his attention, he finally caved despite his better judgement, and tried to initiate sex with her again. Once he took off his clothes, and then got in the tank, she had sighed happily and said, "Finally! I was wondering if I was ever going to get these unloaded..." before finally revealing a previously hidden shaft of thick meat and two enormous flesh orbs. "It's my turn this time!"

Remember Kids, reciprocation keeps everything friendly.

This Story is Happy End

Sky Blue Highway To Nowhere - feat. Amysaurus

Amy, still under the sheets, turned her head away and sourly took the final puff from her cigarette that had been slowly filling the room with its incense. With more force than she meant, she extinguished it in the ash tray on the bedside table. Some of the change and tchochkes fell off and she swore under her breath.

She got up and quickly gathered up her clothes, donning them perfunctorily. "I have work in a few hours," she said, still not turning around.

"When are you free again?" he said.

"Not sure. I'm pretty busy." she replied. She still hadn't turned around.

An oppressive quiet fell again. The only sound was shuffling denim and the tinkling of a belt being done up. Amy left for the door, and just before exiting the room she finally turned, looking back. "Have a good night, Sonic."

He didn't say anything as she walked out, and left the apartment.

"Man, what part of 'Gotta Go Fast' don't these girls get..?" he grumbled, and turned over.

Delsin's Post-Halloween Hangover

Delsin jerked awake suddenly. Things were very blurry. Her lips smacked together automatically and she felt all wrong.

What had happened last night? She struggled to remember. There was a wicked party. She had been dressed up as Cheatara from Thundercats. Looking down now, she looked to be stuffed into some kind of blue mascot costume.

"Where the hell's the zipper on this thing, dood..?" she said, shambling to her feet. Wait... dood? Where did that come from?

"AAAHHH FINALLLYYYYY~" a loud, but boyish sounding voice boomed from somewhere unseen. "The New Batch of Prinnies has arrived!"

What looked to be a 13 year old boy stomped up to Delsin and crossed his arms. He had white hair, enormous circular glasses, and strategically disheveled red clothes to make him look like he was trying-but-not-trying.

"WHO ARE YOU, DOOD!?" Delsin said, totally unwillingly.

"I am OVERLORD MAO! MUA HAHAHAHA~! And youuuuu" he drawled, drool starting to come out of his mouth, "are going to feature heavily in my latest experiment!"

"DOOD, WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON HERE!?" Delsin said, still not fully in control how how much she could react.

"Hehe, let me explain! YOU'RE DEAD! All souls who lived wicked lives pay off their penance in Celestia, or the Netherworld, as PRINNIES! And since you were especially wicked, you get to be MY SLAVE! You get to work FOR DEMONS to get a pittance of Hel, and when you finally saved up enough, you can reincarnate!"

"W-W-W-Wicked!? Dood, I am like a straight-A student! What did I dooo!!?"

Mao reached into a satchel attached to delsin's front, and fished out a list. "Hmm, says here - oh my that's just awful - you took a shit in the water reservoir for the toilet at that party. C'mon, man, that's awful."

Delsin wasn't quite sure what to say to that, but regardless she said, "Dooood."

"ENOUGH! Come, servant! We shall begin IMMEDIATELY! MUAHAHAHAAHA~! Today, we shall explore the effects of shy-girl-next-door smooches on heroes! ONE MILLION TIMES!"

~The End~

Yiff Nebula in..! Furrbidden Planet

In all the world, in all of space - there is but one place none dare go! And that is the Furrbidden Planet - home to the most dangerous adventuring dungeon that glitzy, kitschy, tchotchke hucking corporations and a long series of poor decisions have to offer!

But that's NOTHING for SPACE HERO YIFF NEBULA. Who presently finds himself descending the stairs into said dungeon, ending in a rather clean and smooth white room, with a statuesque beauty sitting behind a desk.

"Welcome, stranger!" the staggering beauty began, in a surprisingly practiced tone for someone who should see far less practice considering this is supposed to be a forbidden planet. "Have you come to brave... the dungeon?"

"Well, yes and no!" Yiff began, twisting off his SPACE HELMET. "This little brave beauty will be going in my stead!" He clapped twice, sharply, and a small dog girl barely five and a half feet tall walked around to stand before him. "This is my SPACE SLAVE, Delsin. Say Hi."

"Hi," she said.

The secretary sized her up and down. "Well, space slave, be honest with me here.
How big of a dick have you ever taken?"

Delsin thought a minute, completely unfazed by the question, and placed her hands a distant apart for measurement.

The secretary nodded, and mirror the gesture. Then the started separating them more, and more, until Delsin squirmed noticeably. "Yeah, I think you're going to be a bit out of your comfort zone on this adventure, Miss."

"Sir," Delsin began, "After last time, you promised. What do you even want outta there anyway."

Visibly uncomfortable, Yiff Nebula bent down, and they had a hushed conversation. Finally, they separated, and Delsin said, "Anytime I want, right? You'll regret it if you neg on me here, boss."

He sighed and nodded.

Turning around and cracking her knuckles, Delsin looked at the secretary and said, "Alright, let's get this party started."

* * * A Day Or So Later * * *

Yiff and the Secretary's pleasant chat over tea was interrupted by the soft woosh of a featureless white door off tho the side of the room. In walked Delsin. She was seemingly no worse for wear, and carrying a conspicuous suitcase with alien lettering on it.

"Oh good, you're back!" Yiff began, laughing a bit nervously. "So, um, how did it all go?"

Delsin shrugged, "Actually it turned out rather well." She gestured to the suitcase. "As ordered."

"Ah, excellent." He replied, trailing off. "And how about the, um... Well, you know."

Delsin stared blankly at him, and then blinked. "Oh! Oh, yes. Well, as it turns out," she said while putting down the case, and starting to remove her dress, "The people in there take it just as good as they dish it out. It was a bit freeing, really."

As the dress fell to the floor the secretary gasped in shock. Delsin sported the largest member she had ever seen.

Quickly, she redressed, handed the suitcase off to Yiff Nebula, and sashayed up the stairs.

"Well! Um, good job, then!" he said haltingly. Shurgging, he redonned his SPACE HELMET and followed her up.

Recovering from her stunned silence, the secretary blurted out, "Um, do you have to leave so soon?"

"ADVENTURE WAITS FOR NO MAN~!"

~FIN~