IVE LOST EVERYTHING TO A HOUSE FIRE, LINK TO GOFUNDME

...God I hate "well-wishers". I call them this, because it's about as useful to you as dropping a penny down the well. I have maybe $2500 period, and most of that's my fault because I never saved for an actual emergency. I will tell you honestly that I have to save that money (and will probably fail at that since Xmas), but I will damned well do something better. I'll make everyone feel guilty for saying generic phrases like,

"Losing everything is hard." (Yes it is, but nobody helps, that's worse)
"Sorry for your loss" (they all say at funerals, go'way)
"I pray you get as much help as..." (prayer doesn't really work, only prayer + action, if ppl see you doing stuff, prayer might help)
"Be strong" (That's what Yuna said to her Aeons. And she meekly walked to her own Final Summoning until Tidus. Don't be like Yuna)
"I wish you the best." (Yeah that didn't work out)

and not actually donating even $50. Yeah, this guy lost his/her shirt and all you can say is that crap. I don't expect anyone to give $1000 when you... oh it's muffle. Yeah, you know this guy, why aren't you giving a cool $1k?

Yes, I understand that he said that.

What I don't understand is the pathological need to spew well-wishes. If you won't help, either be part of the solution and encourage others to give (that can be your payment) or stay silent. Well-wishes are excuses, and anyone who has had hardship learns to hate them.

You're actually off the hook for donating cuz you can't give, but not for saying that stuff. That pissed me off (emotional support I'm not saying is bad, but you should only be offering it if it sounds real, if you know them well. Well-wishers in my grandma's funeral and before that my grandpa's funeral were worse than useless. Do you know me? No? Then you shouldn't be saying stock phrases to me, when I'm in fact in too much shock to even cry. People being around me more to cheer me up, sure. People helping us out after we arranged the funeral, sure. People even talking to me like a real person, asking questions and getting me to talk about what I remembered of them, sure. People passing by as I was clearly not coping well, saying the same things over and over again? No. And I called you on it and rather than saying "yeah, sorry about that" you try to shame me, who is going around trying to tell whoever can to give more. Sorry but you don't get to pretend you're being emotionally supportive when you shame other ppl for wanting to help in other ways). Also, you ignored their iguanas or salamanders.

"I'll see if I can ask some people" (and find out charities in Muffle's area) is a lot more supporting than "sorry for your loss", isn't it?

Slash, thank you.

I don't want an argument either. I just saw three ppl in a row offer "emotional support" that gave no indication that they'd helped with even a penny, nor did it appear to be terribly intimate. When my grandparents died, I just got the same bland statements over and over again. "Sorry for your loss." "I can't imagine how you feel." "They were good people." Cheap phrases, that someone can say, then walk away from someone else in need. What I wanted to hear? " We'll help pay the funeral costs. " (No words, just a hug. Even though right then I was a teenager.) "I remember when..." stories. Get me to talk about my feelings and not stay detached and unable to cry. Which I was. Of those three posters, none of them knew his lizards, rabbits, ferrets, or dogs. None of them asked their names. THAT'S what upset me. No, I don't want a new thread. I want people who can give to give, and those who can only offer emotional support to offer BETTER emotional support. What were your pet's names? What do you remember about them?

There's different ways to help. I'm the type that fights and argues with ppl. I do best with "GET OFF YOUR BUM AND HELP THEM" sorts of statements. So that's how I'm being emotionally supportive. What, you don't like it?

I may come across as gruff or belligerent but it's cuz I can't abide people like I described (I'll probably forget that last bit, though, I can't always distinguish male/female easily). The people who try to cheer ppl up mainly to feel better about themselves, not to make you feel better.

So, lemme see if I can figure out who's who from the species names alone.
Sorrel on the right, Peprika on the bottom, and (male/female again) Mew on the left, Romeo up top? Did I get it right?

I never criticized giving a shit, only pretending to do so.

Which takes more effort?

Actually trying to give a shit, for real? Even if you suck at it? Trying to understand the people who are in this forum? Do I suck at real conversation? Hell yes, I spent much of my childhood playing Seiken Densetsu 3 and wondering why I had no friends. I can now tell you. It's because of my warm and charming personality. Other people are jealous of it. So, trying (and def failing) to engage real conversation?

Still better than during a tragedy just saying different versions of "I'm sorry for your loss" (everything in this link they say to say, except "I love you", "I'd like to learn what they were like", and sharing memories is actually what you should not say simply because it's tired) and moving on?



I'm not even gonna dignify the wrong era slur against me (it's the 80s dude, 90s was New Kids On The Block) with much of a response.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By86PcLufOU

It has some value, yes. But it's like how in the Middle Ages they had various sizes and qualities of Gold. If you've seen the anime Spice and Wolf, there was this whole thing where they had people adulterating currency. A fake coin still does often contain some gold in it, enough to pose as gold, but it isn't real Gold. And yes, I'm using Tolkienesque concept capitalization.

I've been to funerals more than anyone my age has a right to. And I've been unemployed or self-employed and asked friends about it, hoping they knew someone who knew someone who needed my help. The thing I hate most is in fact the sentiment where "oh I'm so sad for you!" Are you gonna do anything to help? "Oh man, look at the time, I gotta go ummm paint my nails!" I don't have a whole lot of friends now.
My parents always said the cheesy rhyme "A friend in need is a friend indeed." So yea, can I donate money? Probably not, I may not have work for at least a month unless someone else calls me (lady I was working for is going in hospital). Can I try to get other people to help? Yup.

And yes, second paragraph. I want to see Muffle helped out first, and emotionally supported (really emotionally supported) next.