SERIOUS INJURIES

I've had my fair share of broken bones, but my most recent injury is something I will never recover from 100%.

About four years ago, my wife was trying to get me to like horses. OK, you guys already know this is going to turn out bad. We already owned one horse for her, and she ended up buying one for me. Mine was massive. Anyways, city slicker Starscream doesn't do farm animals, in any sense of the word.

I actually got to ride the horse once. It was kind of kickass because we were galloping through some creeks and stuff. This built my confidence a little too much. That same week, I again tried to ride the beast. This time, before I had even gotten all the way on, the saddle pinched the horse's skin and it went nuts. Me, being the awesome dude that I am, held on the entire time it was bucking. But me, being the dumbass that I am, went flying the moment it stopped. I landed on my right wrist, which looked really odd.

My first reaction was to get up and push the horse halfway over, because you know that solved everything. We got in the car and went home, where I ran cold water over my wrist while my wife got some ice for it. She hadn't actually seen it yet, but when she went to apply the ice I said "Yeah, this isn't going to work."

Long story short is I went to the ER where they called a specialist in to perform an operation. My wrist joint was fractured in five different spots. When they put me under for the procedure, I was told I was getting a screw through my wrist. However, the last words I could hear before I was drugged was "I can't find the right length screws anywhere!"

When I woke up, my arm was in some sort of frankenstein contraption. I had an external fixature attached, which isn't cool. I had 4 long screws in my arm at various points, and a pin going straight through my wrist. The idea of the contraption was that it wouldn't allow me to move my wrist at all, so that it could heal.

I had to wear it for several months. I was on quite a bit of pain medication. It got even worse as it was summertime, and eventually the heat forced me to take my bandages off. It was at that moment everyone knew what kind of agony I was in; they could see the screws going through my arm and the exposed flesh. Soon after my boss refused to let me work more than a half day, which was cool because I was salaried.

I eventually got it taken off, albeit with a STANDARD BLACK & DECKER DRILL. That's right, the doc used a power tool on me. I was supposed to go to therapy, but I had made such big adjustments on my own that I thought it would a) be a waste of time and b) further detract from my work schedule. I really wish I would have now, as it never quite healed right. I have full function of it and everything, but it's definitely not the same and I fear as I get older I will have a lot of problems with it.

I have some kickass scars now, little portions of flesh that go in my skin when I adjust my wrist. Great conversation piece at parties.

I once had a nail go through the bottom of my foot and out the top. I was wearing shoes and everything it was totally fucking badass. Luckily I didn't have to have a tetanus shot.

But other than that nothing really. I've NEVER broken a bone in 20 years so that's sort of amazing.

I have had my fair share of injuries as well. Every weekend i play competition tennis and in my four years of playing i have:

Broken my Collar Bone.
Broken my Arm.
Broken my Leg.
Broken my nose.

These are just some of the injuries that i have suffered. Tends to happen when you play a sport.

I broke my collar bone when I was 2. I rolled off the bed and it broke.
I broke my ankle when I was 8. I was jumping on a trampoline and landed on my foot sideways. I was too young to really remember what kind of break it was.

My arms are also connected to my chest improperly. This allows me to roll the ball of my arm outside of the socket and do some neat things with it. However, it also inhibits my arms from twisting. My left hand is only able to rotate counter clockwise about 100 degrees. It makes curls a pain to do.

I've never had a serious injury. This makes me very unexciting.

Oh! Wait.

When I was a baby, my elder sister accidentally backed a car over my arm.

I have no personal memory of this event, but mom took every opportunity to tell people about this when I was growing up. It's become utterly remarkable to me.

Only broken bone I've ever had was a broken finger. Father's friend twisted it and broke it. Besides that, I've been fine.

I um...sprained my finger in the seventh grade...
*feels lame in comparison to everyone else's suffering*
And the class nerd did it. I was holding my sweater and he snatched it out of my hand and it hurt really bad. v.v
Also... once I touched a stove that had just been turned off cause I wanted to see if it cooled off fast.
And also once I was swordfighting with household objects... I was using a broom and I broke the bar out of my wardrobe thing and someone else was using that...and he suddenly stopped after attacking me with it and I looked down and realized that he had sliced my hand clean open. I filled the sink with blood. v.v
AND once last year my hands got superheated for absolutely no reason. All the skin on my hand ...died. It was like I was radiated. I'm not freaking kidding. And if I closed my fist my skin cracked open and I bled. After about a few months it went away but..yeah. I think I know where that came from actually but I'd like to not be labeled as 'insane' this early in my stay at the forums here so I'm not going to bother.

Not sure which one of those counts as the 'worst'. ^.^;;

author=Tribal Tail link=topic=272.msg3697#msg3697 date=1191438747
I fractured my left wrist from being falling with my hand against a curb, (better than my face I guess...) my appendix ruptured, and I recently got an abdominal infection in which I hosed blood out of my ass every 1-3 hours for 3 days, often puking while I was on the toilet. Had to eat apple sauce and toast for 3 days.

Ah...whoah now... what descriptive...HOSING you say?
Did you not die of BLOOD LOSS?! That'd be a sucky way to go.