HELP WITH DIALOGUE

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Sorry fo distrubing :D

First i must tell you that I'm bad at English and some people who played my game said it to, there lot of grammar error in the game. So in order to fix that i asked someone to edit my dialogue and he already finished, the main problem i don't know if he do a good job or not.

So my request is can anyone helped me to read his work and tell me if he do a good job or not?
Thank you very much.
Could you post the document in a post instead (if it can fit)? Most people will be a little sketchy about downloading something like this.
It's not a game download, but a word document. I had a look and changed quite a bit but when I saved it... uh, messed up on me. -_-;
I may have another try later. Basically there's a lot of iffy sentence structures, loooots of ellipses and grammar/sentence/punctuation errors.
Wasn't a well done job. Some of these errors you made are extremely obvious, or the guy who "translated" your grammar caused them. For example this statement: "Aele smacks down those guard". Either you use plural ore singular, you've used both things. So it would mean "this guard", or the plural version "those guards".

Which one is your language? I'm also not English, but I can call myself a lucky guy because my native language and English are similiar in some points, especially punctuation as well as idiom. Except grammar, there's a difference.

Edit:
nickad is right, it would be better to post this text here directly. Rapidshit is getting on my nervs, the waiting time there is absolutely disturbing. Especially when it's just coz of a 50kb document.
Well, I edited it a bit. I left some awkward but technically maybe grammatically correct bits, but added some suggestions in square brackets.

http://rpgmaker.net/media/content/users/2158/locker/lusty_boffg_script_edit_wordwrap.txt

It doesn't seem like it keeps the "word wrapping," so copy & paste that into something that does to have an easier time reading it. I probably should have indicated where I made changes but I didn't think of doing that, which makes this a bit useless...
Thanks for the response guys, i put it in rapidshare because to long if i put it here. But after reading your comment about the dialogue i think i need to find new guy to help me.

- cilence
i'm from indonesia and i only learn basic of English. And for statement like "smack those guard" won't be used in dialogue so i don't fix them.

- Silently
Thanks for your time to edit it :D, it;s okay about the indication in change you made, i will try to compare it with the original text.

Thank you very much guys.
This can be considered done.
post=101335
...i put it in rapidshare because ...


No sentient being should have to download from RapidShare. Ever.
post=101335
- cilence
i'm from indonesia and i only learn basic of English. And for statement like "smack those guard" won't be used in dialogue so i don't fix them.

I know that this was just a note, but this also isn't the point I was writing about. You write that grammar error frequently. Maybe the word 'frequently' isn't entirely right, however you've written the same fault in your last post here.

@WolfCoder: Exactly this.
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