THEY'RE ALL SO FREAKIN' TALL (ANTHEM FOR SHORT PEOPLE)

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I am relatively short for a guy (5'8), and when one day I suddenly noticed that most of the guys on campus are taller than me, I called B.S. and got the excuse to write this song. Hope you enjoy it regardless of your vertical measurement!

Click: mp3
They're All So Freakin' Tall

Reives


LYRICS:
-----------
My best friend is much taller than me
He's 10 feet high I'm 2 feet tall,
he throws me like a basketball

I slide through the hoop and cannot help but think
One day I'm gonna rule it all,
I'll be the player and not the ball

I carry around a boulder to stand on
when we take pictures together (Boohoo)

When we go indoors he hits his head on second floor
as I breeze through the doggy door

Oh he's .. just .. so damn .. TALL!
(They're ALL so fricken tall)

It's no fair,
I pull my hair,
I drink my milk and say my prayer
Calcium-god,
dear laughing cow,
You can press my button now


I've never seen a running parade
Never got to drop an icecream cone
on an uncle's balding head

I spiked my hair to better compare
Then drew a face on my spikey hair
pretending to stare

Oh I should marry CN tower to
get some height in the DNA

Hugging her concrete may be cold in the Winter
but at least she's used to PDA

And they're still .. all .. so damn .. TALL!
(I'm not short, they're all just tall!)

It's no fair,
I pull my hair,
I drink my milk and say my prayer

Calcium-god,
Dear laughing cow,
You can press my button now

Any time now
Any time now
Any time now
..(+x4)

Any time now,
oh the world's gonna fade away
Any time now,
all our frailties will cease to weight

Any time now,
The laughing cow'll press my button

Any time now
Any time now
(+x4)

Any time. . .


So the laughing cow does not care for me, I say:
"That's okay, cause you just suck,
go get headshot by a puck"

Who needs to grow up to be Paul anyway?
I bet he had to pick up poo from
his blue ox Babe every single day

Maybe the reason I'm not growing is
I'm just not whining nearly enough

Whine, whine, whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine..-
Someone please call the waaambulance

All I want .. is to .. be damn .. TALL!
(They're ALL so fricken tall)

It's no fair,
I pull my hair,
I drink my milk and say my prayer
Calcium-god,
Dear laughing cow,
You can press my button now

It's just no fair,
I pull my hair,
I drink soy milk and say my prayer
Calcium-god ,
Dear Mr. Bean,
Won't you press my button now



Reference: Laughing Cow cheese.

I'm not sure if 5'8 is short enough to warrant a song.
It's the soul that counts. And my soul is of Asian heritage.
tardis
is it too late for ironhide facepalm
308
That chorus is genius man- fantastic work! :D
off topic: the smiling cow always looked like it had no skin to me. Like the white part is cartilage and bone, and the red is its flesh. I am sure I'm not the only one to notice.

on topic: This was surprisingly good :D however I feel the need to say this:

Being tall might look glamorous in the movies but trust me, it stops being cool when you go car shopping and sit in the 3rd or 4th vehicle that you can't buy just because it's too cramped with the seat pulled all the way back.

Plus 95% of the people you meet will be under the impression that you have no idea how tall you are (apparently thinking that you have always skipped over that section of your own drivers license and never read the tags in any of your pants) and will think that they are the ONLY ONES WHO CAN LET YOU IN ON THE SECRET OF YOUR HEIGHT.

"ur tall zomg do u play basketball u look liek teh type"
"no sir, do you figure skate? because you look like the type"
YDS
member of the bull moose party
2516
I always thought the average height was 5'7''
post=123702
I always thought the average height was 5'7''


The average height for American males is like 5'9 or 5'10 or something.
5'5 here, so your 5'8 is tall to me. It's all in how you look at it. Personally, I like being short.
Aye, my observations were merely the initial inspiration for writing it - it is ultimately just a light-hearted joke song and shouldn't be taken seriously; it features a 2 feet tall protagonist with a best friend of 10 feet, after all. :p Thanks for the comments everyone! (By the way, do you know which age groups that average includes, Felds?)

@uh: Oh wow, now that you mention it, I'll never look at that cow the same way again.
hahah that was brilliant! ace lyrics.
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