CRAZEWRITING

Sometimes I write. Sometimes I write for class. I'm an Elementary Education major, but I'm concentrating in Language Arts, so I'm taking a lot of writing classes.

This is a piece where I had to write it in both first- and third-person perspective. I feel like they're way too interdependent, but whatever, I'm mostly just posting this to try to entertain you. I'm open to criticism.



Jason this, Jason that. Everything's about Jason. Jason's so handsome, Jason's so pleasant, Jason's colors are so coordinated, Jason knows how to buy groceries so well. I mean, sure, I'm happy for my sister, but why wasn't anybody talking about her? Krissy's perfectly lovely.

“You're awfully deep in thought for a party-goer. What's eating you?”

“Jason,” I replied, snapping out of a dazed trance. I hadn't realized I was thinking so intently about this. “N â€" Not anything bad or -”

“I understand, don't worry. Everybody's talking about Jason. Look, there's mom chatting him up right now. You'd think she was trying to get his number.”

What a gross analogy. “You seem fine with that, Krissy.”

“Yeah, well, any man with balls enough to date our mother is a keeper.”

After few seconds of standing awkwardly, I moved away to talk to one of Jason's cousins or uncles or whoever, bringing up how my sister looked stunning in that emerald-color dress.

“Yes indeed, but Jason's snappy -”

Annoyed, I stopped really paying attention, nodding occasionally. Unfortunately, I stopped paying attention to more than just Cousin Somebody and knocked the punch all over Krissy. This proved to be a terrific mistake.

“The Hell's going on here?” bellowed a rosy-cheeked Jason from a couple yards away, snapping at my admittedly klutzy move. “You think it's funny to ruin my fiancé's dress? I spent over two hundred dollars on that!” He began to stride toward me with those legs that shopped so well.

“Jason, dear, it's not a big deal. I can change.” My sister was trying to smooth over the situation, knowing that it was purely accidental, but Jason would have none of it. The decidedly intoxicated man yelled at the two of us about money and idiocy while both families looked on in astonishment. Handsome, pleasant Jason was rolling up his well-coordinated sleeves, making me gulp.

Jason took another step toward me, screaming “I'm gonna teach you to mess with Kristina, you stupid brat!” My sister tried to stop him, but soon I landed in a puddle of sticky, red punch. Winded from the freight train of a man, I began to quicken my breath to match my racing heartbeat. Uncles and fathers and Aunt Marie were starting to run up and try to pull Jason away. I looked up at the fierce man's face, noticing how he was starting to turn from red to a shade of the angriest purple I've ever been forced to witness... but then a second fist came at my me, and -


Jason was the center of everybody's conversation. The son of a weathy violinist and painter, he was both sophisticated and well-educated. His fiancé, Kristina, was not an uninteresting or unintelligent girl, but had not been in a photo shoot on the top of the Eiffel Tower or spent a semester studying in South Africa. Kristina's family was clamoring to ask Jason about his stories, while Jason's family was more than willing to indulge anybody in Jason's history. Jason himself was spending time with his fiancé's mother, finding her enthusiasm greatly amusing... but maybe that was just his fourth glass of wine getting to him.

Kristina's younger brother was deep in thought when she started chatting with him. Her “what's eating you?” was promptly responded to with “Jason,” after Daniel had snapped out of a dazed state. He was not as enthralled with Jason as the rest of his family, and Kristina didn't really mind. She loved Jason, but she was a little sick of it as well.

“Look, there's mom chatting him up right now,” Kristina said of her betrothed. “You'd think she was trying to get his number.” A look of disgust appeared on Daniel's face, causing Kristina to laugh.

Daniel walked up to Jason's uncle and tried to start a conversation about Kristina. He found little success at subverting the overwhelming subject of Jason, being replied with a comment on Jason's outfit. It was a good-looking outfit, tailored to fit his broad shoulders specifically, but ultimately not of interest to Daniel. The conversation dulled his senses enough to cause Daniel to knock over the giant punch bowl. Red drink splashed all over Kristina and her new dress, staining it a rather disgusting color. Jason turned and saw Daniel apologizing.

“The Hell's going on here?” demanded the rosy-cheeked man, making Daniel act incredibly flustered. “You think it's funny to ruin my fiancé's dress? I spent over two hundred dollars on that!” Jason walked up to Daniel and Kristina while yelling about how her brother was a complete idiot and a disgrace to her family name. Kristina tried to calm Jason down, but he wouldn't have any of it.

Jason rolled up his sleeves, then let loose a punch so hard it knocked Daniel straight to the ground. His drunken bellowing filled the room and his face turned purple from anger. He punched Daniel again, knocking the young man unconscious. Various onlookers dashed forward, trying to pull back Jason, finally succeeding to do so after the second blow.

Everybody was still talking about Jason, but it was about how he was no longer engaged.