IGNORANT HILARITY FROM THIS MORNING

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Versalia
must be all that rtp in your diet
1405
This was so outrageous/funny I had to share the absolute ridiculousness of the whole thing with you guys.

So I'm on the bus this morning, on my way to work. This black guy and his white girlfriend (important) were sitting in the back of the bus and he was at first just talking dumb shit: "A fool is a fool because of innocence, a fool isn't clever; you don't need to wrap truth in cleverness, you wrap your lies in cleverness. The devil is clever..." then he starts talking about how "Muslims are pushing the radical liberal agenda, and making you believe it's white politicians, and the feds are coming for you California! They're sick of your shit! Trying to make you believe a white person is pushing these beliefs... a white person would never hang out with a ni**er, a white person would never ally themselves with a ni**er" with his white girlfriend sitting right there! So clearly, he is insane.

Finally, the girl next to me said "Sir, you're an ignorant, racist asshole and listening to you has ruined my morning." She got up and moved away. THAT really set him off with the utmost of brilliant comebacks: "Oh yeah? Well you're FAT." They started 'arguing' (read: his response over and over was "you're fat, you're fat, why don't you manage your weight before you manage my beliefs? you're fat" because that is how you rationally pose a logical argument, amirite). Then he resorted to "You must be a homo." This turned several heads (we do live in San Francisco, sir) and got at least one "did you just use homo as a slur?"

"Yes I did. Because she probably is a homo! Homos are WEAK. They fail at everything, so they need laws to protect them! Homos are liars, they lie about everything! Homos are trying to bring you down! They're trying to stress you out!!"

His poor girlfriend kept saying "Let's just get off... let's just get off..." to his "NO, we're not!!!" so finally I spoke up. "This poor girl is trying to remove herself from this hostile situation... you're just trapping her." Woops, guess I should have kept to myself, because they BOTH flipped the eff out: "NO I'M NOT!" / "NO SHE'S NOT! You don't know women!! You don't know how women act! You're a fa**ot so you act like a woman, you don't know how women act!"

I turned to the people around me. "I act like a woman but... I don't know how women act... something about this seems... hmmm..." (cue mass snickering)

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. God will cut your tongue out. That's why you're damned - you're damned to Hell. And you're not even handsome, you're not handsome! You're ugly! You don't get women, you don't get pu**y! You can't even buy nice shoes!"

(Guy next to me: "...I like your shoes...")

Now this one girl was desperately trying to ignore the hysterical screaming this had erupted into (from this insane man, not from me, although I wasn't the only one fighting back against him; we just weren't screaming like crazy assholes). However, he then took his insanity to a whole new level:
"Gay people are trying to keep me down. That's why you all organized this, to keep me down, but look how I handled it- *smugly* I'm still standing." Oh god, did that crack everybody up, including the poor girl trying so hard to ignore it. I told her "I think this is making my morning, rather than ruining it..." and she agreed.

I couldn't help it: I announced to the bus "It was so worth it to get up early and call you all this morning so we could make this happen, truly this is a landmark civil rights moment. Let's all take a moment to pat ourselves on the back." (cue more mass laughter at this idiot)

The rest of the bus ride was basically a tirade of "LAUGHTER is the first step to CRYING! When you see them laughing it's because they're hurting - they're crying on the inside. I'm making them cry." So they're going to get off and...

...Uh oh! The original pissed girl is still here, just moved up a bit. They start screaming in each others' faces but all I can hear is this idiot: "You don't agree with me so you must be a HOMO! You're a HOMO! You're a HOMO!"
"Yes sir, I am a HOMO SAPIENS, like everyone on this bus except for you."
"You're a HOMO!"
"If being a homo is bad, then I'm a homo- ENJOY IT, SIR!" and she slammed the bus door behind him.

Cue raucous applause from the entire bus.

Awesome GIrl: "I apologize for my behavior... and I need a fucking whiskey."

There were a lot more hilarious, snide comments passed between myself and several other passengers that I've probably forgotten, and although it was the most intense bus ride ever, it was still pretty amazing/hilarious.
xDDDD Wow, what a jerk.

Somebody needs to pay that woman.
I would have bought her that whiskey.
Versalia
must be all that rtp in your diet
1405
author=Miracle
Somebody needs to pay that woman.
I would have bought her that whiskey.


I patted her on the back on my way off the bus and I told her "you get yourself that drink, honey."

If I weren't on my way to work at 9am I'd have bought it for her! XD
Sounds like one of those movie scene moments.
Hexatona
JESEUS MIMLLION SPOLERS
3702
ugh, crazies.
Craze
i bet she's a diva with a potion popping problem
14360
thedjt
Sounds like one of those movie scene moments.

Life > movies.

Hexatona
ugh, crazies.

Sir, I am taking offense at this statement. You are using my fans and I as a slur. This will not be tolerated. Please cease and desist, should an bus intervention be organized.
Yellow Magic
Could I BE any more Chandler Bing from Friends (TM)?
3154
why don't you manage your weight before you manage my beliefs?

I am so using this
InfectionFiles
the world ends in whatever my makerscore currently is
4690
"Ignorant Hilarity " made me lol once I had finished the story.
such a good use of words to sum up a insane situation.

This reminds me of this(sorta):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnZlDwKCMGY
author=Jericho
that guy owns sorry


sf has fascinating people on and around the public transit systems there, it's true
That honestly sounds nasty I"m surprised it didn't come to violence. (from him, judging by the way you said he was talking)
When I saw the topic name, I thought you were going to link to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7XAJo3rQn8

I did like the story though. Guy seems pretty unbalanced.
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