SHARE YOUR POEMS!

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So hey, I've had to write poems for my stupid Adv. Language Aats poem portfolio project crap and even though I hate it, I actually wrote some O.K. poems in it. In this forum, share any personally-written poems (don't steal!). Don't feel forced to share, it's completely voluntary.

I'll start:

A Night Out
As the thick thunder roars
a man gives
a rustled whisper
to another.

Moments later
the wavy screech
of car tires
echo
over the hills.

The opaque glass
of a church
changes color
for an instant
as buzzing lightning
strikes down
on the land.

Inside
an evening dinner
is well underway
as two shady men
stroll in.
one with flashy glasses
the other nothing special.

The stammering crowd
asks
Who are you?
and
Why are you here?

But the sheer elegance
of the moment
makes it soon
all vanish
with nothing
but a night out
to show for it.


I Am From...
I am from
a car freak.

I am from someone who
used to play with Hot Wheels
and spent hours building model cars.

I am from someone
who used to
though not anymore
play soccer
and race around the block
at blinding speeds
on his bike.

I am from someone who listened intently
to classic bands like
Boston, Chicago, and Styx.

I am from someone
who ate delicious Hershey's
And took a liking to Carrie Fisher.

I am from someone
who often watched Magnum P.I.
and read Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys.

I am from someone
who used to say, “Get a life!”
from someone who
wanted to work in the auto industry as a little boy
and grew up in the Big Apple.

You could say
I'm from my father.


I'll post more once I finish my project.
I will write *about* poems because I do not write them but I still want to participate.

Man, poems are such a touchy subject with most people because there are so many bad poems out there but yet there are so many teenagers who insist on writing them. And unlike vernacular writing, a poem does not have various levels of tolerability; any poem other than an amazing poem is a terrible poem. I cannot tolerate a poem that is anything less than top-notch whereas I can tolerate a second-rate novel. To be clear I'm not criticizing you personally because you were forced to write these and it's not like you created them specifically to shove them down our throats.

Anyway, I'd say your poems are better than what most high school kids write because there is no death and there are no roses. Seriously that's worth 10,000 points.

I like I Am From because it has a little bit of a Shel Silverstein vibe to it and he's pretty awesome. The poem is not pretentious at all, which is actually very noteworthy.

I would recommend that if you continue writing poetry that you focus on the flow of your lines a little more. The idea of a poem is not that you fit a meter very specifically but rather that every word is painstakingly-chosen to ensure that the lines flow from one to another in perfect harmony. In fact most good modern poetry follows no meter at all (you are very lose with yours). While your ideas are sincere and your imagery is vivid, your lines feel stilted and uncomfortable in a way that does not fele intentional.

author=Spazzgamer27 link=topic=851.msg11304#msg11304 date=1207085861
I am from someone who listened intently
to classic bands like
Boston, Chicago, and Styx.

Dude these are actually the three best rock bands ever.
WIP
I'm not comfortable with any idea that can't be expressed in the form of men's jewelry
11363
I've never really been a big fan of poetry. The fact that it can mean just about anything is a quality I don't enjoy.
Thanks brandon! I didn't know these poems were so good! (Granted, my mom liked them, but c'mon, shes my mom. She has to like everything I do). I was given the I Am From idea from my teacher (it was a class assignment, so I was forced to write it). Therefore, it wasn't totally my idea. Hoiwever A Night Out was my own idea. Really though, thanks for the compliments!!!
Poetry. I was never really any good at it. I failed miserably at school every time i had to do it. Anyway, from what i read these are quite good spazzgamer. Keep up the good work.
I wrote this a few years ago. Some would call it poetry. It's about love, so him won't like it.


I'd like to meet a girl
that'll swear the mailman is gay
that'll sit in silence for hours
and then rant about the joy of ice cream
only to get up and feel the need to jog
around the house while singing
songs off key knowing that it'd be
most annoying to anyone who is a fan
of music and not a fan of defective expression
she'll be too scared to go near a spider
and not laugh when my jokes suck
and not tell any lies
even though the truth could never be found
and the lies would make our lives simpler
she would hate sociology, and be vocal as to why
she- like seymour- would have a sneaking paranoid notion
that everyone in the entire world
is living just to make her happy
but she would definetly agree
on the merits of Pinkerton
and maybe even think it is better than the Blue Album
however that is no prerequisite
as we can't ask for the moon and the stars you know
I'd like to meet a girl who would get bored half way
through this rant, and tell me how she had to hold in a fart
she would have these corny ideals
that she never could live up to
but never stopped to try and live up to them
and would find my ideals cornier than hers
and if they ever were not she'd give
a piece of her mind
as to how the world has gone dead and
lost their wills and ways and funs
and grown up to be passive fools
but she would know that we're passive fools
and would not hide the fact
she would like to like children
however be awkward around them
think that they are the future
have no idea what she means by that
or what anybody ever means by that
as they get brainwashed to the same shit we have
then she'd shut up
she might like to wear makeup and fancy clothing
it doesn't really matter
although pink eyeshadow is always fun
as is "mysterious female fashion sense"
so we'll enjoy that and enjoy that her pillow's would smell nice
she'd call me on all my stupid sexist shit
that I'm sure I do
and I'd in turn call her on all her stupid sexist shit
that I wish she'd do
as I don't want to be the only moron in this relationship
she would be smarter than I ever dreamed possible
about things I didn't know existed
and she wouldn't always roll her eyes when I talked about Marx
or how emo isn't just another trend
and she'd enjoy frisbee
making out in the rain
jumping in cold lakes
dancing in her room naked singing
songs from bands that I hate
and when she's grown tired of my antics
she would say: "I've grown tired of your antics"
and I would tell her that I wish she didn't
she would love to pretend that she did not
but would never allow herself to do such things
and would say goodbye, but before she left
she'd just leave me with the thought that yes
that mailman must've been gay
and if not then he may be a future gay
or a gay in training
and then she would laugh and I would not
but I would be happy
knowing that I was happy with her
and that she was happy with me
NoblemanNick
I'm bringing this world back for you and for me.
1390
The Duel of 2 Titan

Two Titans come to a middle of the field,
Both think victory, both think death,
Drawing their swords they stand resolute,
Bodly facing their demise.

Though I wish I could see it once more,
their blood flows and runs no more,
Their swords now dull, their armor now cracked,
But back then they stood and begun their attack.

Their battle told where their pride lied,
Their determination showed how they would die,
The sky echoed the lightning shattered,
There blades connected, their capes tattered.

Victory was brought about with one fellow swoop,
down went the titan while the other one stood,
The titan took his sword for the battle was won,
He pierced his own heart for his goal was done.
that was just beyond beautiful. :'(

(turns away to cry) :'( :'( :'(
Wow, I really liked the ones by ankylo.

I would consider writing one, but it's already 10:45, so I need to go to bed soon. Besides, poetry doesn't come to a tired mind.
author=Canuck link=topic=851.msg11465#msg11465 date=1207289538
DEATH AND ROSES

Actually I think that was pretty incredible man I think I would like to adapt it to song.
Well, that was unexpected.

Thanks.
I wrote this a while ago.



Neither Road


I travelled a road
Long and straight
Following the path
Alongside my mate

Till we hit the crossroads
Where I came to a halt
My friend turned right
And I stood like a bolt

I looked to the right
To see beauty and grace
I began to wonder
If that were my place

I looked to the left
To see harmony
And I began to wonder
If that were the place for me

I looked straight ahead of me
To see unknowing
And I began to wonder
What it wasn't showing

My eye's darted to the right
To follow my friend
Then again to my left
To see another at a bend

Both paths had travellers
Both paths were attractive
But neither path suited me
Neither way did I choose to live

“I follow no man”
“I make my own destiny”
So I went straight ahead
Into that, which was made for me.





This one I wrote during high school:



Social Scene


What do you think when you hear the word obscene?
I think of the distrustful social scene
Where to be cool, you have to be mean
What is up with the current social scene?

Do we choose to act the way we do?
Or are we told how to on cue?
Why do we wag and say we have ‘the flu',
Even though we know it's not true?

Is it we who make our own decisions?
Or do we simply consent to the social missions?
Do we even hold our own visions?
Or are we just a pack of social minions?

And it ain't even just at school,
Where you have to try and act cool,
Where you walk around being so cruel
Using another like a fool!

For wether you are adult or teen,
No matter where you are or where you've been,
We are all affected by the same theme,
That of the distrustful social scene.
Ugh.. Im actually one of the few last bards.. I doubt my stuff will be up to standards.

I awakened in a cold sweat
my body quivers from the shock
fear suppresses my rationality
no light emcompasses the room
only the illumination of the moon
to cradle this reality

OH! MIRROR, MIRROR!
Reflection come hither, trapped in a ethereal stare
My shadow come near, only drowned in my tears
as I turn my head, it'll only disappear.

After crying these rivers.
My voice creeps to a whisper
never to be heard again..

In this corner, I can only sit.. contemplating my failures
fading the world my canvas.. with nothing to paint it
an artist thats starving for more.


I slept in a peaceful bliss.
being unaware my blanket world, so cold
silence holds me dear, this day
as light is unneeded in this filter of blue
that is required, only a visage of you..
the cradle as I sleep


OH! MIRROR, MIRROR!
REFLECTION COME HITHER, trapped in a ethereal stare
My shadow come near, only drowned in my tears.
as I turn my head, it'll only disappear.

After crying these rivers.
My voice creeps to a whisper
never to be heard again..

In this corner, I can only observe.. watching the world turn
fading the world is my wine.. with no orchid to produce
a conneissuer with nothing to drink.


---------------------------------------------------------------



Night sky

If I fall right now will... y o u c a t c h m e~
This rain falls slowly carressing.. swaying.. like your touch.
in this starlit sky, I see in your eyes.. blanketed by innocence
I awaken.. gazing out of the window seeing it as just a dream.
It still rains within my heart.. that sky is still within me.
and I gaze towards that sky so dark.. it must symbolize you were pretending~
there is nothing but memories in these stars.. T H E Y F E E L S O E M P T Y~
if I could walk away from the start... I w o u l d n ' t b e l i m p i n g.


when I dream it is your poison that intoxicates me.
...
when I think it is your venom that rots my heart.
...
These memories are many, they play over and over again in the night sky
when I gaze at these moving pictures.. you wonder what I am looking at.
This sky of you has become so beautiful for me~
if only you could see why every star, reminds me of you.
This aurora sky...

Was it a dream.. was it a dream..
When I breathe.. I feel our hearts as one..
I can feel your breath.. feel you breathe
I close my eyes.. as you take my breath away.
Life is but a metaphor in this night sky.


If I cry right now.. w i l l y o u c o m f o r t m e~
The wind blows ominously embracing.. pacing.. like your love.
In this starlit sky, I see in your eyes.. unsure blinded by grief.
I awaken.. gazing out of the window seeing it as just a dream.
It's still drafty in my heart.. that coldness, within me.
as I gaze towards a sky so dark.. my love is descending~
there is nothing but pain in these stars.. T H E Y F E E L S O E M P T Y~
If I could stop embarrassing from the start.. you wouldnt be against me.


Was it a dream.. was it a dream..
When I breathe.. I feel our hearts as one..
I can feel your breath.. feel you breathe
I close my eyes.. as you take my breath away.
Life is but a metaphor in this night sky.


when I DREAM! its your breath that suffocates me.
..
when I GAZE! its your touch that impales me~
..
These memories are many, they play over and over again in the night sky
when I gaze at these moving pictures.. you wonder what I am looking at.
This sky of you has become so beautiful for me~
if only you could see why every star, reminds me of you.
This aurora sky...




--------------------------


Unfinished Song
I want to write the sadness away,
a pen and a paper to gain your attention.
Without your gaze I am alone,
with myself I have nothing but condescension.
Maybe a thousand words cant grasp the stars,
but it can at least get me to the moon.
so as I look through these self portraits of you
I see .. I can see the whole galaxy through.
Maybe, a day.. would come and you will call
and will lay rest to these fleeting dreams
I will tell you a story of love, and you will fall.. for me.
.. I wish you would fall for me..


I have waited.. a lifetime everyday
dreamed so long, I dont know if I am awake
these words, of admiration are all they will be
as I am stuck with a song that wont be complete.

If I could I'd compose a serenade, to tribute my unrequited love
A ballerina in a music box elegant as she sways in a winter snow of doves
These thoughts are just thoughts, as I am to far away to see
the fireworks in the night sky park, as we observe from the trees..

Lost in a dream, If I close my eyes just right
I can see lovely fireworks in erupting in the night
a vision of you smiling, beside a vision I...
as we embrace lovingly through the night
Oh what a beautiful dream.. an endearing fantasy..
oh these webs I weave.. to get you tangled with me
A silouhette a shade so dark, that it can easily crush my heart
it feels as if emotion drowns me when we're apart...
Maybe, a day.. would where you'll smile for me..
and as I touch your face, you'll remember my name
as I tell you a story of adoration, and you'll do the same
.. I wish you would fall for me.. I wish you would fall for me..
Why not. =X

Ashes
Radiate beyond the dawn
Illuminate the Earth,
Shattered sunrise left withdrawn
Close your eyes and face rebirth.

We wake to see the lonely flare,
Concealing mists and ashen air;
A world of flaming, scorching sky
The hallowed light shall pass us by.

Crimson tears fall down on me
Ornaments and fragile things;
Dangling from the Judas Tree,
Angels bleed without their wings.

We rest to face the burning blast
As scarlet shockwaves echo past;
Scattered ashes blacken the day,
Oh world of naught; blow me away.

Waves of Wonder
As I stand barefoot on the shore
Hypnotized by the ocean's roar,
Mesmerized by shimmering blue;
My thoughts keep flying back to you.

My thin toes sink beneath the sand
Feeling the wind caress my hand,
The swarms of seagulls circle me
My eyes engulfed by endless sea.

My arm erect toward lofty clouds
Following sun the nimbus shrouds;
I hear your voice across the skies
Remind me of those last goodbyes.

Dreaming of Andromeda
We're losing sense for space and time
As we take in the soft sublime,
The saffron stars light up our eyes
Constellations can hypnotize.

Burning, seething, radiant Sun,
Can tell of us of the things he's done,
As we depart and fall astray;
Come say farewell to Milky Way.

The golden hues can captivate,
Out floating, fleeting body weight
Stars sparkle like an opaque gem;
Just maybe you are one of them.
I'm seeing some nice works here. ^.^


AND BY

Childish, childish
Ever, ever so
Lightless, Flightless
Whither shalt they go?

Birds on air
Leaves a-gale
Bright the fare
‘Ere its fail

Flash and Dashy
Cling and clashy
Break the mended
Straight the bended

Never seeking
O'er, o'er
Wind and Shrieking
Bend the clover

Lightning rents
The sky as dancing
Hell hath sent
Fire ponies, prancing

Under and over
Fell blown clover
Never seeing
Ever being

Colors wend ‘round they who sigh
Equal unrest in thy eye
Through the gorse she slips, and by


SHORT UNTITLED

It's sad
That once you've written it down
It is restricted to the urbane meanings of the words you use
No more is it free
To mean to others
Different
And free of the scripted cage


BAND

A gold band wraps my finger
Like a hug from one soon left
He always loved me â€" I am sure of this
His pain-filled hours have passed now
And once strong arms can no longer lift
I remember them on the day
Many years behind us, now
When first I wore this ring
Strong arms that lifted me into our new life together
Enclosing me inside a fleshy ring of promise
Forever
An elder-time has passed since then
And I clutch a strengthless hand
Clawed in the silence of our last, loneless moment
Before the inevitable end of us
And the re-emergence of I
"Untitled"
everything
appears by sight
to be calm,

but in reality
a storm
is brewing on the horizon.

the animals feel it.

Props to anyone who knows the poet/poem that influenced this one.
author=trance2 link=topic=851.msg14911#msg14911 date=1210111042
Props to anyone who knows the poet/poem that influenced this one.

Emily Dickenson :(
author=brandonabley link=topic=851.msg14934#msg14934 date=1210118347
author=trance2 link=topic=851.msg14911#msg14911 date=1210111042
Props to anyone who knows the poet/poem that influenced this one.

Emily Dickenson :(
Nope. Do not pass Go; do not collect $200.

And where'd you get that idea anyways? I've read a good amount of her stuff, and none of it is quite that enigmatic. Think more modern. :x
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