Pages: 1
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
Introduction into Madness

Hell; you only hear about it in books. Stories from a time so very, very long ago. Times so long ago that you may think that they are just mere fantasy. You never once think about the actual evil that surrounds the idea of Hell, nor the actual place.

Kids don't fear it and adults forget about it. What with constant work and drama to feed yourself, your family, and to pay the bills on time. No one ever thinks about it. Till they actually see it. I once was a regular person. Birth, childhood, friends, mother and father, I had it all, too. Until that day came. That day that I was staring down into the abysmal eye of Hell.

I was playing just like any normal 10 year old boy my age would do, at least. Playing with my friends in the backyard. While my family was planning my birthday surprise. I acted as if I didn't know about it. Acted as if I didn't know what was going on. I would be lead off into the shed, as if they were to lock me up in there.

What with them trying to make me think it isn't my birthday. To place in my mind, fear; enough fear to forget. They knew that I was scared of this place. Every year, I'd wait. I'd wait till my dad came back and got me out, to be lead into the living-room, where everyone would jump up and yell out "surprise" at the top of their lungs. Back then, I cared not for it. Not one bit. To me, it was an just a damn annoyance. It was just any normal day to me. A day that I got older. Nothing more and nothing less than just that.

But this year, this year was different. They put me in the shed, like normal. I then waited like I normally do, then all of a sudden I heard screaming. Not anything that sounded like screams of happiness. It sounded like screams of torture and pain, like on those old grind house horror flicks. Where they over acted and unnatural amounts of blood would gush out. I started to panic, for I am claustrophobic. It wasn't the screaming that had gotten me to freak out. It was being in that small room for so long.

I tried to get out, but they hadn't come to unlock the shed door for me yet. That was the first sign that something was wrong. Then 10 minutes later, I heard something unusual. Something so strange. The sound of meat or something being chewed, so I figured that they were playing a trick on me and started my party without me. So I started to yell and curse for them to get me the Hell out of here.

I began to kick and punch, and push upon that shed door. As soon as I had done so, I felt a sharp pain in my right hand. It happened so fast, that I thought I pulled a muscle, until I saw some blood, and a long..sword like claw sticking through my hand. I still hadn't understood what happened until after it was all over. When it was too late to do anything. The claw started to bend, as if it were a finger closing, to make a fist. Then out of nowhere it pulled back and took off the shed door, along with my arm and hand, with it, right out of the socket.

I was in immense pain. So strong of pain that I could barely see or hear, or even think correctly. What I saw before I passed out, I thought was a demon. You couldn't make this shit up so easily. This demon had 4 arms, and one had a claw where his hand should have been. It was his right hand. Thinking back on it now, it may have been my protector. When I came-to, I was in a strange world. A world most of you had forgotten about, or thought was just a fantasy. The world was Hell, and I....I was dead.

Years have passed since that horrid incident. You know how time passes, flows, so easily down the stream of life? In Hell, time only stands still and you basically relive your fears, over and over again.So imagine a clock and the numbers upon that clock are your fears, and you're the hands upon the clock, and it keeps getting worse and worse, as the hands progress. Once it reaches the final, last, worst fear of all, it resets and continues; back at your first fear. Knowing what you're going to get, but not being able to change anything about it, is the final fear that Hell can bestow upon the souls trapped down in here. The odd thing is, I am not reliving any fears.

I am here watching other people's fears. Viewing what they had done to deserve this Hell. I have no idea as to why I am able to move about so freely. Is it because I had done no wrong, only because of my age? Is it because this is actually my fear? Being able to see others before my presence, being tortured, yet not being able to do anything about it? I hadn't any type of idea of the reasons for this ordeal. Until I met a man. This man was staked deep down inside the ground. Chains wrapped about his being, ripping him about if he tried to move around so much as to scratch an itch, while I was walking around, viewing this Hell that I had found myself in.

Then out of nowhere I hear this old voice. A fading, pain filled voice of an older man. He was stating that "Hell is what you make yourself into, and your fears are the locks, on the chains of your soul." I don't know why he was saying this to me. Maybe he constantly says this out loud, someone there to listen to him or not, to reassure himself. That he knows what he did. I let myself believe that until he had called out for me directly. He mentioned to me about how "We tend to get a few 'clean' souls down in here, that are here more-so as being on a field trip, so to speak." and that I am the chosen one. The chosen one who will deliver the damned souls to Hell.

I kept talking to that man. That man seemed to know more about who I am, than I did of myself. He mentioned how his only fears, is the fear of not being able to escape. The reasons for the chains made more sense to me now. The chains bore down hard, deep into his skin. Which made sense, that if you only want to escape, and cannot, because one reason being that you're hurt, then it causes quite a problem.

I spent years talking to this old man. He talked about many things, but, one thing that stuck out more than anything, was how he kept referring to me as the 'key' to Hell. I asked him why he kept calling me this 'key' to Hell. I asked him why he knows so much about me, and how come I ended up here, and he exclaimed that "You were marked. Marked before you were even born. Marked with the blood of the sins of Hell. You are the new Angel of Death. One that serves only Hell." and yet I didn't want to believe this. That I would become a hound for Hell.

The bringer of death, to those needing judgment; for them to be washed away in the lakes of the hellfire. Where they are to be taken, to face the final judgment. To face their fears, forever. Thinking back on this whole ordeal, now, I think that was pretty stupid of me. I can avenge the people being hurt. To always avenge the fallen, at the hands of those evil bastards of the world, that caused those poor soul's demise. I have the power to make a difference. To influence how the world will work. To change it into what I'd like for it to be. Though I shouldn't let others know of me, for they may try to turn me in for the murders of so many people. I am the shadows of Hell. The being not seen, but heard of. The talk of the world, and nothing more. I'm the "Akumu" of life and death, my life being a dark void, that holds onto the souls of the damned.

Chapter 1 - Sins of the Father

The Sins of the parents are passed on to their children. This meaning that no soul is clean, and that I have no room in my heart to spare anyone. Man, woman or child. What with my job being to deliver the damned down into Hell, and none being clean, I have my work cut out for me. No matter what type of person that I truly am, I have to take all of the damned down into the pits of Hell. I know Hades has some fucked up plan for Earth if I am told to get every single damned soul. My first one that was delivered wasn't too easy of a job. It was one of my best friends. His father was a man who was a leader in the Mafia. One day he decided that he was tired of having to go through a middle man in order to get his fair cut of the profits. So one night he called all of the leaders of the Mafia in his area, for a meeting. This wasn't just any normal meeting. It was a trap. He planned on killing all of these leaders and taking over their positions in the Mafia. He planned on joining all of the sections into one whole group, while taking all of the profits they gain, for himself.

So when they all got comfortable, some food was brought out. This food was filled with analgesic medication; this was to give them a high, where they wouldn't even notice the gas filling up the room. The gas was made to eat away at the victim's skin and work its way inward. This is to cause the victim to go through the worst pain as it continues. Well because of all of this, all of it done just because he wanted to get more money, God placed upon his very soul, the sin of Greed. Thus meaning my best friend had Greed placed upon his as well. I didn't want to kill my best friend, but because I had no other choice, I went along with it. He didn't know what hit him. All that he knew, was a sword pierced his heart, and he was thrown into the Shadows, to be pulled into the pits of Hell. Along with him, my neighbor and her two children were to be next. Their mother was paid for sex. She was a whore, lusting out for men as well as for their money. This makes her have 2 sins upon her soul; Lust and Greed, and as such the children are given the sins, as well.

Each soul that I harvest for Hell, always is a sinned one. It gets me wondering from time to time, about what I'm doing. If basically everyone is sinned, then it means I must take everyone. Thus meaning I'm helping no one. But at the same time, if I take out the sinners, I am helping the life cycle, by ridding them of those unwanted pests. What does this say about me, as well? My father was an alcoholic. He would drink, and gamble his worries away, and would beat upon my mother when he came back out of his little "dream world" of his. A world filled with no worries, and where happiness reigned supreme. I knew he was a nut, and a moron to boot. Don't get me wrong. I loved my family, as any child does due to some connection. I didn't ask for this connection. I didn't want it. I wanted to be able to look him, my father, in his eyes and know for a fact that he was a horrible man. Though instead, when I looked him in his eyes, all I saw was my father. Not the man he was. But the man I wanted, created by this blood connection. I never forgave my parents, for forcing this connection upon me. If it were not for that, I could have easily told my father what I thought about him.

My mother was negligent for most of her days. They only acted like a family when it was my birthday. As if they owe me some sort of gratification for all the shit piled into my hopeless existence known as my life. I wasn't close to my family, in a sense of knowing them, as they were the same towards me. My father, every day, would go out into the Garage and he'd start working on little things; vacuums, microwaves, lawnmowers, televisions and so on and so forth. Reason being for this, isn't because he enjoys it, but really only because he wishes to get away from us all. If you're wondering where I'm getting at with all of this, then I'll tell you.

All of this abuse, physical and mental, put me in a state of doing things, anything, to show that I was in control. This mainly consisted of myself, a magnifying glass and an anthill. I would sit up-top of those ants, feeling so high and mighty. Knowing that there is only but time protecting them from my wrath. Time that I controlled by either holding off, or going straight for the kill. This may be one other reason for my powers; for my fate. A funny thing, fate is. You can go down any path you choose, but it'll always lead to the same destination in the end. But, what that old man said, was that I was marked before birth. So I didn't have any sins passed on from my parents at the time. There is something not told to me. Something about my future, planned out.

It is 2013, and all of the evil on Earth is slowly yet surely vanishing. Hades' Infantry is being pushed back into the Dragon's Gate. Jehovah's Air Fleet flies overhead, bombing the enemy with the Wakinyan Tanka's lightning, sealed within the divine arrows; forged with the blood of all of the Gods. Jehovah's Infantry is led by the God of War, Ares, and Athena, Goddess of wisdom, warfare, and strategy. With Hades' forces being pushed back, it is only a short time until they are driven back into the pits of Hell. But Hades isn't going out so easily. Not without one last act of defiance.

Many years earlier he had trapped Chronos, the God of Time, within a stone that held the powers to slow down time itself. Keeping Chronos from being able to escape, he is planning on going back into time, 36 years to be exact, to place a seal upon a man and woman who shall be wed. This seal is to lock certain powers into them until they give birth to a male child fit to harness the powers of Darkness, and to be unlocked at the age of 10.

The Sun shall rise, the Sun shall fall. That sort of schedule is the same, even for live beings.

They live, they die. There isn't anything anyone can do about it. One day, he too, shall die. But before that day comes, he is the medium between life and death. But no matter what he does, in the name of God, he is still working for Hades, and thus shall never be allowed entry into the Heavens.

The Spiraling Madness

Chapter 2

Part 1

"The darkness, the wind. It's setting the mood for a dreadful night. I'm not so sure, as to why I'm even doing this anymore. My doubts are growing more and more wild with each passing night." thought Akumu, whilst standing alone, atop of an old building, during which the darkness began developing around him. The sign of an upcoming threat grew near, as he awaited to confront the demon which plans to destroy the town and all that is his job to do away with, himself. He pretty much knew that he can't possibly do good, if all he does is kill. But he owes Hades' his gratitude, for giving him the power to fight back. He doesn't know why Hades' helped him, nor the reasoning towards granting him the ability to take souls.

"Here it comes!" he exclaims, as the demon manifests itself. "You sure took your time, bub. I hate to wait. As I'm pretty sure your boss has already mentioned this to you." stated calmly, by Akumu. The demon just stared him down. No words, nothing. "So, a silent one? We've got to beat some sense into you, so you can learn your place." The Demon still stared at him, and he wasn't sure what was up with this one. Whether he was sent to him or he found a way out of Hell, all by accident, and was stupid. But that mattered not. He would still have to dispose of the creature, no matter of the intentions it held.

"Well, count your blessings, Demon. You're gonna wish you hadn't ventured forth into my domain!" The demon still only stared Akumu down. So he went for the kill, and as soon as he pulled out his blade, the Demon was gone. Not even a glimpse of where it went was noticed. The Demon was just gone. "W-where the Hell did it go? I can't even sense it's dark pressure anywhere, not like when it first appeared."

The stench that the Demon emitted before was gone. It was as if it was never there to begin with. Akumu was confused at this point as he has never encountered such a demon, before. So he began to let his guard down, and the moment that he did, he was hit hard by some force. It was made clear to him now that the demon's power was that of hiding.

"This demon, must be hiding in a pocket dimension, somewhere. One that it can still interact with things outside of that pocket." Akumu, was partially correct. The demon was in a dimension. But not that of a pocket one. It became it's own dimension, created by it's own powers. The demon can become one, instantly with it's surroundings. Thus being able to alter them and itself. May that be physical or otherwise.

The Demon is the direct descendant of an ancient race who used teleportation techniques to transport Demons from Hell to use as Warriors to protect their treasure. This Treasure is said to hold all powers of life inside of it's veins, and thus held the power to bend this life into any shape, or form that it deemed necessary. Hundreds of Millions of years ago, this race tried to trick their Gods by recreating their treasure, to replace the real one.

They wanted to take the original to a temple that's known to fuse artifacts into living hosts. Their plan was to create a living, breathing God among their people. They had it planned, so that when the Eclipse happened, they would do the switch. During an Eclipse, a God cannot see the world as it is. An Eclipse doesn't just block the sun from the Earth.

It blocks the Earth from the Heavens. Not even the Gods know why this is. But what they do know, is that every time one comes around, evil could arise, so they always send a Guardian to watch over the lands.

The ancient Race did not know of this, and that was the demise of their people. They hadn't realized of the intelligence that these Gods possess. From the moment they had planned against them, their Gods knew something was wrong. When they did the switch the Guardian sent word of the happenings back to their Gods. From that moment on, they placed a curse on the race of traitors.

A curse that would fuse every single one of them together, and replace their blood with that of a Demon. Though, before their curse took hold, they succeeded into fusing the treasure with one of their own.

This curse, along with the treasure's powers would allow for a new form of demon to be born. A demon that could become reality itself. One that is it's own dimension, one that is its own portal of life and death. A demon that transcends the Reaper, and all other forms of deity and life as we know it.

But before it could truly comprehend it's power it needed some control, like all Demons do. This is where a Devil with no name would come in. This Devil, wearing a sleek black and red suit with a hat, and black leather boots, would find this demon roaming around Hell. It had a blank expression upon its face. He knew of its true potential and what had happened, and thus took over control of its mind using a book in the Devil's left hand.

Now, with full comprehension of it's power, and a goal set in its mind, given to it by the Devil, it sets out to find the Hunter; a human man, with demonic blood.

Chapter 2

Part 2

While the Akumu is trying to figure out a way to defeat this monster, It's already making way towards an abandoned High School, though he is unaware of it's actual whereabouts. Before it was a High School, it was a huge and high-tech, Privately owned Prison, used to house the most dangerous of criminal minds. The worst murderers in the history of Japan have been sent here. This building was bought over by the Government when every inmate turned up brutally murdered. The theory behind this massacre is that the deadliest of criminals locked away, had gotten lose from his "shackles" and went on a wild killing spree.

That was, until the same thing had happened many years later. When it was converted over into a High School, it was thought to be the best that the educational systems had to offer in both terms of education, cleanliness, technology, and staff. The technology was kept from the previous building, and worked on. The staff was the best the world had to offer. Geniuses from all over the world. They were taught how to handle any kind of situation, as well.

The school was number 1 in the world. On the ranking list for all schools, it held a record breaking 95 percent in terms of scoring; much higher than any other school. It held that rank for many years, up until its closing. One fateful morning, whilst the men and women were getting into the school, a screaming noise could be heard in every room, in every direction. Later that evening, when the buses came to pick everyone up, no one came out of the school. The bus drivers aren't legally allowed to go into the school without expressed written permission, so they had to get the authorities involved an hour later. What they discovered, made even the toughest of men cringe in fear. Everyone was dead. Body parts tossed around, every-which-way. Pools of blood in every room, and spattered on the walls, floors, ceilings, windows, desks. Many of the kids there, were decapitated, and their heads piked up on the roof of the building. Ancient, demonic markings were drawn in blood all over the school. As if someone was praying tribute to a demon. A sick, sick joke they felt was being played on them. A copycat killer, they thought had struck.

What he doesn't realize, is that this building will be the location of his most dangerous fight yet. This demon will prove to be more than meet's the eye. Though all of a sudden, he is able to sense the presence of the Demon once again. He knows that it's just a trap, but he doesn't have the time to play with this creature for very much longer, as he senses yet another presence making it's way into the living realm. He deducts that the other presence will arrive in little over an hour, and that he'll need to hurry and defeat this creature before the other one arrives.

But before he can do anything, he hears a ringing in his head, and a voice can be heard. The voice of someone who matters.

"The fuck are you doing there, just standing around?" exclaimed the voice. "What use are you and those powers, if you can't do away with a simple, brain-dead demon?".

Akumu didn't hesitate to answer back to this person."Sorry, Hades." stated Akumu. "This demon can suppress it's entire being in some sort of undetectable pocket dimension. It allows it to hide it's smell."

"I don't care what you have to do, or what it's powers allows for it to do. But you needn't fail your mission. Do that, and you fail me." spoke Hades. "You wouldn't want that. So destroy it now. The Demon is hiding in the main Security Tower. You'll have to disable the security sensors before going on up, though."

"Why is that?" questioned the Akumu. "Couldn't I just destroy the doors myself?"

Hades began to grow impatient with the Akumu's stubbornness towards listening. "We don't need to draw any extra attention to any other demon, and we really don't need to attract any regular human beings. They would only cause drama, and thus hinder our plans even more so than now."

As the Akumu moves closer to the old and abandoned building, the gates slam shut, and the skies begin to change hues like blood upon the blanket of darkness. The monster knows he is coming for it, and the emotion during that moment can be cut down with a knife, and all of a sudden screams of agony, torture and death can be heard in every direction inside of the building. Screams of men, women and children; blood curdling screams of horror and pain. The sound and pitch of the screams change as quickly and easily as dust doth blows around in the wind.

It's changing from screams to maniacal laughter in mere moments apart from each other. Like a madman slashing vigorously at his victims. A "murderer's lullaby", one would call it. Sung in tune of deathly moans and groans, while the orchestral parts played by the limbs of the fallen. Roughly beating down upon the floors and walls of the evil building.

The emotion being so strong, that any animal that dare ventures forth near it, would soon find itself madly dashing in any direction it doesn't remember going, just to get away from it. Even if that means getting killed in the process. The emotion so strong that it could stop a healthy man's heart in an instant. The evil surrounding it is not normal by any means, and the time for playing has long since ended. The time of the darkness hath begun. The time of the blood wars is upon the world. The end may soon be nearer than one would think.

As he walks upwards near a cobble-stone path, the front doors begin to slowly creep open, and a thick smog-like substance begins to rush out, and the smell of sulfur fills the air.
It becomes hard to breath outside, whilst in the front entrance, as he is forced inward into the building's interior. The front door then creeps back shut on him, and locks from the outside. Now, he could easily have broken the door down to escape, but he was ordered not to use any of his powers; not counting the fact that he has to capture the demon.

But what he noticed that was out of the ordinary was the lock being on the outside of what was once a Prison and a school. It's one thing to have a lock on the outside, but it's another to have no keyholes on the door. It seems someone, or something planned for no one to escape, even upon the creation of the building itself. The door is the original door used when it first had opened. Both for the Prison and the School. Akumu feels he'll get answers if he can find the demon before it escapes the main Security Tower. The problem is, his Mechanical Arm is not set to detect the types of Security panels used in the building, so he'll have to blindly search in every room before he can move on to the next floor.

His Mechanical Arm is of Nanobot based Technologies that allows this mechanism the ability to control any robotics, and to be able to shift into any weapon, and any length. He lost his right Arm as a child, back when the Demon ripped it right out of his socket, before sending him to Hell. A man known as Wilder stumbled upon this child, massively bleeding, and decided to take him back to his workshop, to find a way to stop the bleeding. He was able to burn the skin enough to stop most of the bleeding, and because he was only but a young child, the man used his Military training, and the millions of dollars worth of equipment he stole, to give him his own arm. The man was able to forge a special type of Nanobot, that could replicate at millionth the speed of any cell, and could shape into anything the kid wished for. But to make sure he didn't do anything bad with it, he created a linking system, that only allowed him to get more shifting upgrades via a computer connected to the internet.

The man was seen as a father to the kid. A father he never truly had. So many years after he was saved, he told him about his encounter down in the pits of Hell. Obviously the man laughed it off like some sort of bad dream. Laughing like it was his overactive imagination playing tricks on him. That was, until the day a demon broke free, and found it's way into the living realm. This demon smelled the young boy, and knew that if he killed him, he'd gain whatever powers the kid may be harnessing, even without his will.
The kid was out picking up old cans, to turn in for a bit of cash, as his father had told him to do, so he hadn't any idea what was about to take place.

The demon smelled where the kid was at prior to his leaving out the door, and he didn't find the child. He found the man. The man saw this creature, and right then knew the boy wasn't kidding around when he spoke of Hell. The demon spoke to the man. Told him that if he didn't tell him where the boy was, he'd kill him. That if he told him where he was, he'd spare the man's life. The man didn't hesitate. He told the demon to fuck off. That pushed the creature over the edge.

The boy returned thirty minutes later. He found the body of the man hanging limply on the rafters, and the demon wandering around in the back room. The boy didn't know this, and ran to his father to get him down. His eyes were closed, his body cold. He was bloody, head to toe. The kid begun to cry out, in fear that he lost the only one that he loved. The crying attracted the demon still in the building, and he spoke out to the child.

"You know, this is your fault. It'll always be your fault when someone you care about dies, when being hunted by demons like myself." calmly spoke the creature. "Had you only been here, you'd be the one dead, and he'd still be alive. He cried out in pain, you know, telling me to take your life instead. That he didn't know where you were, but wished to God that you were dead!"

The kid gasped at air when hearing such words. "You know, it's pretty ironic that a man harboring a demon, would pray to god, knowing that god wouldn't save him. Makes me kind of glad that there is one less moron in the world." That threw the kid over the edge. The pent up anger took over, and his left Arm just burst into dark flames. The building they were in, began to crumble down around them. When the dust settled, his left arm was scaled up in a black, skin like armor. Spiked up, Black armor covered his shoulder and forearm, connecting to each other. The kid's eyes were red, and he was breathing out a black cloud of smog. The demon seemed surprised that such a young and small kid had built up such a strong demonic pressure. But before he could blink, the boy vanished and appeared behind of him, ripping his heart out through his back, and the demon died right there. The boy passed out soon after.

The kid woke up to his father over his bed. He was alive more than ever. Dusting off the walls. The kid figured that if the demon dies that killed a human, the soul will return to the body, all wounds healing upon entry. This is the day he finally unleashed his powers, and knew that what the demon had said was all a lie, just from the look the man had on his face.

The Akumu made his way to the first room that he could see. It was a pretty big room filled with old cabinets, chairs, desks and tables. It was being used for storage. The floor was filled with cob webs, dirt, dust and the left over pieces from many dead insects. The wood from the desks emitted a horrible mold-like smell, and was rotted to the core. A simple touch could crumble any of the desks into pieces. The room reminded him of the back room of his father's shop.

His father's shop always had the neatest materials and objects. But the backroom always carried the most unusual things. Like a .454 Casull handgun. It was a big weapon, and there wasn't any reason for him to have such a gun. The room also carried many other weapons, but nothing as unique as the handgun. When he spoke to him about the gun, he waved him off like it was just an old replica of a weapon of the past. Though it didn't look like any replica that he's ever seen before.

He always loved playing around in the back room of the shop. He always would gather up different objects and either fix them or combine them together. His father always asked him why he wouldn't just go out and play with the other kids outside. His answer would always be the same. "They aren't like me. They aren't on my level."

He doesn't know why each room is forcing him to think back on his life. He doesn't know what is so special about this place, that would cause something to get into his head. But what he does know, is that he needs to stop day dreaming and just get back to work.

So, he went back to searching through the rooms. But what he found, is they were all the same. Old school desks, tables, books and dust. Just old junk. No Security Module, nothing. This was, until he stumbled into a different room. It was cleaner than the rest.
All the desks were lined up neatly, as if in a real school setting. The only difference is that they were facing to the left of the room. This gave him an idea. So he began to slowly walk to where they were facing. As soon as he did, he stepped onto a loose floor tile. The tile went down, and the room began to shift. The room began to move upwards, as if going up an elevator. When it stopped, the doors opened up, and there it was. The Security Module for the first floor.

Because he found the first Module, he can use his Arm to hack into the system and unlock all of the doors from that one room. The problem is, he cannot pick and choose what to unlock, and what to keep sealed off. This building may be holding something in, and he might have to fight it if he wishes to find the Demon. He chooses to unlock every door, due to it being the quickest situation possible.

He hasn't any time to play around with this bullshit; though when he finally unlocks every module from there, something has gone wrong. The lights blink on then off again, and the power to the modules have been shot, and the door out has been sealed. He can't use his backup power from his Arm, because the wires have all been burnt up, so the only way out is to use his powers.

Akumu slowly starts to get seriously frustrated, as he begins to ponder what is going on.
"This demon has planned out every move since I've encountered it. This is no coincidence. This demon was after me the entire time, and knew just what it had to do." Thought Akumu. "Someone or something has been feeding it information on me, and my whereabouts. Otherwise nothing would be going down like it has been. Someone who has information on me, is helping. The only thing I can do now is just get to the top and kill the demon."

The demon has sabotaged the control panels in hopes of forcing him to use his powers within this building. The reason for such a dick move is still unknown. But what he does know is that someone is feeding the demon information. It doesn't truly matter now because worrying about it won't help him catch this demon.

With a tone in his voice, and power in his eyes, he speaks. "I have to catch this demon, and there isn't anything else for me to do. My orders being irrelevant, I will have to release the demon inside of me." With that, it has begun. "I could just use a little bit of my powers and break each sealed door shut, but I've already wasted too much time." Akumu grips his left hand into a fist, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. This type of power release takes a lot of control and will power, otherwise he could lose himself to the darkness within, and forever be a demon. Each time he uses his powers, a little bit of his being is lost to the demon forever. But it's nothing like losing himself when fully being released. Eventually he'll forever be the spawn of darkness; an evil pool of power with a never ending blood lust.

But his mission isn't yet completed, and the risk doesn't far outweigh the need for completion. So he has to concentrate deeply, and locate the power within. He has to be in a sort of mediated state to accomplish such feats, and it takes time, and so he meditates. While in this meditative state, one can see visions. May it be of the past, present of future. In this situation, he is seeing his past again. This time, it shows why he has been hunting demons, rather than still living with his father.
It is a dull Sunday morning. The birds aren't even out for this gloomy day. The dark grey clouds loom overhead, while the taste of copper lightly rolls about on people's tongues, from the fog pushing itself inwards towards the dark little city. The chill in the morning air is like the chill you'd get when waiting for the school bus in the morning. You taste the smell the chill produces, whilst the morning dew washes the grass of all its previous imperfections from the day before. The sun that shines passed the dark clouds and layers of fog, shows the rays over the puddles of water built up inside the divots upon the earth.

The Akumu, who his father would just call "boy", was running errands outside so he hadn't any idea what was going to take place. Neither did the man. It got later in the day and the clouds had grown much darker than in the morning. It was as if an ill omen was about to begin. Thunder began to clap loudly, as it shook the air madly with the utmost force it could garner up. All the windows in his shop began to tremble riotously as if they feared for their life, and one by one they broke. Glass shot everywhere and his front door was flung forward, breaking off it's hinges, and cracking all of the bricks around the frame of the door.

A man casually walked through the gaping hole that was once his entrance, breaking the glass even more as he walked upon the shards. "So, you're the man that's been harboring the akumu." Elaborately spoke the man. "You've done us all a grave misdeed. That boy should be dead, and the original demon we sent to kill him should of had his powers."

The father spoke up rather abruptly, and responded with a huge amount of hate, with a look of disgust shooting out after. Only a look any father would know all too well if something horrid had happened. "You were the one who sent that thing after my boy!?" Bellowed the father. "You were the bastard behind it!?"

"Yes and no." uncouthly responded the man. "I determined that the demon was the best choice, but I wasn't the one in charge. But you needn't know any of that because in a few seconds, you'll be dead." The father looked quite shocked, mainly due to the fact that he was a good Christian, good father, and just an all around good man, yet even the Devil didn't know who he was if he was to send such a peon to do such tedious jobs.
"Ppfh" was the sound that the father made, along with spitting at the feet of the incompetent pawn. The demon's eyes widened in anger. "Who the hell do you think you are, mortal!? You should be groveling at my feet by now, yet you spit at me?"

The father casually checked out the demon; his head panned up, head panned back down. Slowly over looking the entire demon's being. "To think the Devil would send such a wuss over in my domain is sickening and disrespectful." The man's whole persona changed in that instance. The once paranoid, loving, carefree father that always has been, was instantly replaced with a cold speaking stranger. The demon looked highly surprised at the current unfolding situation that is laid out before him. No one has ever talked to him like this before, and he was now curious about this man.

"You're not a normal human being, old man. I can sense a pressure building up around you. One that could rival even the devil himself. Who are you?". That question wasn't what he really wanted to know, more-so it was what power the man actually possessed.
"I am an old rival to your boss. I used to run a business where I would hunt down demons and angels alike. Occasionally I'd get a side job as a policing force, or sometimes as a body guard. But what I did the most, and loved to this day is the hunt for the Supernatural. With every job, we gained spiritually enhanced items, or highly advanced weaponry as part of our payment. Sometimes even a mixture of the two. We were using the items to track down other supernatural entities with the power the demoniacal and spiritual Arms possessed.

One day we received a phone call from someone claiming a demon found it's way onto Holy grounds. To be as expected, we were doubtful. But we went to the location they described, anyway. Before even getting to the exact location, you could feel multiple strong demonic pressures even as far as 30 miles away from the Shrine explained in the phone conversation. What we saw when we got there still haunts me to this day. There were hundreds of pikes surrounding the shrine as if some type of fence row was being raised. Upon each pike was a mutilated body of the surrounding towns. Man, woman, child, elder, dog, cat, and even birds. It mattered not with them.

Upon our exact arrival 30 demons manifested before us, readily accepting the fate that lay before them. Because I felt what was coming, I let my men handle the weaklings as I went for the head honcho. It wasn't too hard to find him, might I add. I found out what he was trying to accomplish after recalling ancient textures I once stumbled my way across to.

The demon was trying to summon an Ancient power that was once sealed away by the Titans and Gods respectfully. A power that would give such a demon the ultimate power over all beings. Alive or dead. They had to seal it away because of it's enormous pull it had over the other Gods. It was originally the first Titan to be created that wasn't recorded into known mythologies by normal methods. A Titan that was a living embodiment of pure and raw power, that created the other known powers. Life and Death. After realizing this, I grabbed all of the arms I had on me, and rushed to the Alter room, and dove into the demon. Jabbing all of the arms into him as I could.

I was too late to completely stop him, but I wasn't too late to absorb the power that would flow through the Abysmal "Eternity Gates". With that, I was also able to absorb the arms along with the power, and be able to push that demon into the quickly closing gate, and seal him up with what we call the Corruption. The first Titan. From that moment on I was neither Entity nor mortal. Neither Demon nor Angel. Neither alive nor dead. I was a new being created, and with that new found power, I've long since decided to only use it once that demon I personally sealed up breaks out of the Eternity Gates. It's not if, it's a matter of when it'll happen. I know he's already absorbed the rest of the Corruption, and thus it's only a matter of time till the seal breaks on it's own under that demon's tremendous pressure.

Here is the link to the story over on DeviantArt.

The good:

It started out sounding like self-narration, and it remains so throughout.

The character's tone colors the text appropriately.

Commentary seems to balance out exposition acceptably.

Some of the exposition lends itself well to accompanying imagery that comes with a comic book/manga.

The bad:

Has some grammar issues, nothing a proofread couldn't fix. I think "What with" is a conjunction and should be combined with its appropriate subject in one sentence with a comma (you do this the third time, not the first two).

Some of the text uses language that isn't in common use in the style of speaking or writing vernacular, as this writing suggests. For example, people would more likely say, "no idea why" as opposed to "no idea as to why" which is more proper in a professional setting. Same with "cared not for it" instead of "didn't care for it".

The ambivalent:

The story as a whole is fine. Doesn't necessarily grab me, might not be my cup of tea.

The tone is misleading; at the beginning there was no reason to believe he was anything other than a happy 10-year old, playing in the backyard, friends over, about to enjoy a birthday party. Then, he's cruelly locked up in a shed when his parents likely know he is claustrophobic, at least knew he hated it. Parents don't lock their kids up, even if they are negligent to the degree that they are (explained later; not abusively negligent, just seemingly uninterested in his development).

We discover later that the character actually considers himself abused to the point of identifying with hope and happiness and realizing he is disconnected from it. That seems like it would require a considerable amount of abuse to me. It's fine, but was a curveball after considering the birthday scene in the beginning.

The method under which he discovers himself in hell was all rather nonchalant. What I gleaned from reading was that he was wandering around aimlessly in hell, not in pain but observing others in pain, and he stumbles across a guy living out his worst fears while telling the character what he is. If you get the chance to write this out as an actual dialogued scene, it might benefit. In its current form, it is exposition with a little too much dialogue for a scene that isn't occuring in time with narration, and the plot development contained within seems too important to deliver this way. If it must remain as a recollection by the narrator for whatever purpose, I'd recommend avoiding quoted dialogue as much as possible (except for poignant lines that are strong in the character's memory, like, "You are the new Angel of Death"), and trim it if at all possible.

There is a lot of exposition. It all would seem to work better if each portion of text had Manga imagery to accompany it. Especially describing his early exploits, about the first people he delivered to hell. How it is written lends itself to imagery very well. Without the images, it's a long, big block of text containing multiple thoughts!

The bolded text came WAY out of left field. It sounds like this is information the reader should have at least general knowledge of (such as via summary on the back of the book and in any promotional material) prior to starting to read. It's definitely comic book-y in nature, and it also helps set the tone as something more easily digestible, more grand, instead of focusing on individual suffering which just gives a "bummer" vibe.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
I've updated my story.
Also I've found an Artist who is turning this into a Manga, for me.
Here is some concept art/styles he did for the main character.
We decided on mixing Styles 1 and 2 (changed to look a bit more younger) for when he is a child, and styles 3 and 4, mixed, for when he is an adult.

I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
I've got to bump this up. It's too much of a project for me, to let it go unnoticed via updated story and concept art for it's Manga.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
Going to bump this back, since I've edited the story some more.
...well, didn't read the BLOCK O' TEXT, the the pictures look cool.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
Well you really should read it, to get a feel of it.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
I've edited the story some more.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
Updated the story.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
I've yet again updated the story.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
I've edited the story again.
I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
So I'm thinking about renaming this story from Hellfire, to "Nightmare Overdose".
Pages: 1