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In about 2003, I made an awesome game. Now, nearly 12 years later, the game has be remastered for peak quality!
...Actually, that's a lie. The original game was developed in around 2003, then I use RpgMaker XP to try to put together some sort of overambitious game. It feature-creeped, nothing in the game worked properly, and it was a horrible trainwreck that got rightly trashed by reviewers. Now, I could try to fix this game and do it right. But I realized the original game concept was so pretentious that the only place to go with it is parody. I'll probably bug-edit and fix game balance.

To those who have never played the original, it's interesting. And by "interesting", I mean "bad." You start in the woods outside a shed, eating a "mushroom" (actually a giant mushroom monster). Which triggers an event that gets you zapped to be punished for "raiding the storeroom." As you are on fire, your next challenge is to get a good soak. Somehow this leads to (a) a sex change, since all your male organs were burned off, and (b) a quest to fight a corrupt angel named Estheriel (fans of Oracle of Tao that actually made it to the Game Plus may remember her). To do so, you will need three allies: Kenpo, a martial arist; MewMew, a catgirl; and Michael, an angel. It's actually a simple dungeon crawl, but the first time I made this, I horribly overthought it.

Other Planned Features
  • A day/night system
  • Turn-based battle
  • Randomized weather
  • Overworld saving is not on by default, instead you must find a roaming fairy and catch it (holdover from the original game)... it's slower this time.

Latest Blog

Mwahaha!!!

Any "fans" of the original game will be pleased (or horrified) to see its return. Don't worry though, because I promise to make this game as evil as possible. Starting with bad gameover and battle victory music, really weird maps, and other fine things. Enjoy!

Posts

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okay I have 2 problems with this, firstly i don't know what the hell i'm supposed to be doing, and secondly the enemies are way overpowered.
I can help you with this. One, they aren't overpowered so much as there is an elemental type for each enemy AND each character. That is, the main character is immune to fire (as that flaming thing) and absorbs fire (in female form). Therefore, if you want to train in female form, try to match up with a fire magic enemy. A good choice is either goblins or cerberus (hiding in a pot in the first inn). Also, the weapon/armour progression kinda extreme, and later equips may have you finding most of the too hard enemies way too easy. Second, for the "don't know the hell to be doing" to clear the first area, goto the mushroom and get struck by lightning, search the chests for keys, find the fire crest in the extended part of the grass (the lady to the right gives you a weird hint to its screen location as WEST), then go down and the trees should "burn" when you touch them, touch the fountain to open a cutscene, then notice the lone tree that didn't shed leaves when that earlier thunder struck, then grab the water drop from the fancy pedestal, and finally use it on the fire to the west. From there you can explore towns, but most of the puzzles in this game are roughly like this.
was/ is there actually any 'hentai' files or is that just another joke part of the game?
I can't find the rune keys when I got to the door it said that there were two missing I Only have rune keys ABCDF where or how do I find the other two?!
There were. I wasn't sure what the censorship level of the game for this website was, so since I wanted it accepted I removed them. It was a hentai mode that could change your ultimate ending (you had to enter a password first at the mining town, and then you could go to prostitutes to raise your corruption level, if it was too high though you'd get a "bad" eding), but when it was removed you got only two of the three endings based on this system the cuddle scene (normal) and a hug scene (by going to God and raising your Purity variable) graphic. There's a bunch of variations to these endings too, such as neither of these activate without the Forest Love cutscene, and you get some very bad endings if you don't have your fourth member the angel.

Geez, I'm surprised you got that far already. The two hardest keys to find (assuming I didn't forget something in my last edit and make it unsolvable) are in the bedroom. Search the beds by sleeping, and search the axe (careful of the blade edge or it's Gameover).
I didn't get the one with the axe, but other than that it leaves 1 key left. any chance you can double check to make sure you didn't leave any out?
also at the part I am at, am I supposed to have a third character by then? because I only have the main and the cat girl.
never mind on the keys I got them all. thanks for info on the axe part
Okay, I have beaten all the bosses except for the totem pole thing called Yakira, is there any way to stop his Terraform attack?
and I apologize If I seem Like I am acting too spoiled in asking these but it's hard to tel in this game if I am making progress or not despite the bosses. Some of them are Hard as bosses should be but some of them are too easy due to the 'unlimited' items, also the enemies in terms of strength seem to be a bit out of order, I noticed that some of the enemies in the later areas were not only weaker but offered much less exp.
I'm having trouble with the secret of the cave, the Hanatetsudai, the key to Heaven, and the other party members.
I can't open the game after extracting it. Do you know why? I can't be asked to go install the RTP as I don't even have RM XP.
Nvm, I saw you included the RMXP programs within the game folder.
I've just beaten the three bosses in the castle but, where do I get the other two characters because I can't find the key to enter heaven to get one character and I don't know where the other is.
mushroom..............did you mean the tree next to the tent :|
i don't know where to go or what to do :((
mushroom..............did you mean the tree next to the tent :|
i don't know where to go or what to do :((
For the keys, check EVERYWHERE. There are three hidden keys, one in a statue, on hidden in an axe which you knock to the floor (note: you CAN get decapitated), and one hidden in one of the beds.
Okay, just in case I've missed anything.

Rune Key A: 1st room (can't leave without it)
B&C: 3rd room on lighted pillars (same)
D: 4th room lighted pillar trapped by puzzle (used for room 5)
E&F: store room in bars, knock down axe, and search bottom bed (if it still doesn't work, you're probably glitching)
Key to Ascendant Realm: Kill off one boss (ugh, currently only leviathan gives, I need to fix this in my next patch)
(Tell you what, I'll also make a secret ending ad, sorta like KH as apology)
Three Bosses: Kill them off (geh, if the other parts were too easy, I actually shudder whenver I test play this part), that touch the statue in the middle of the room. I'm changing the drop system to after battle, in case by some fluke it still doesn't drop.
Crystals: You should have all three gems by the time you enter this room. The sapphire is blue, ruby is red, and emerald is green. Place these in the appropriate circles, and activate the fourth stone to get teleported to the last boss. Good luck, this one is a epic length battle, and you can actually die (not that it matters anyway... since even the loss ending leads to victory is you have all characters).

K, getting cracking on the extra ending sequence.
Major update, 1.76 I semi-clarified things in the forest. You still have to solve puzzles and stuff to figure out what to do, but it isn't like nobody is telling you anymore (there's some old woman who tells you where to go in simple riddles). I fixed some glitches or removed them (as per the Review Comments). And I finished with an extra ending (if you get the ultimate character, craft the best sword, master martial arts style, get two optional items, unlock the romance sequence, and have a full party, lot to ask but you can actually do it, you go to a small dot of sand near the last port and enter. Talk to the dragon there, and he verifies everything you've done, and opens a switch called ExtrasCompleted, at the ending, you'll get an extra ending sequence, sorta Kingdom Hearts style advertising the next game. Not much, but it's cool).

Oh yea, and I added a cooking thing. You buy ingredients, and make a few simple dishes.
Terraform is (correct me if I'm wrong) an Earth attack. I think Heaven and a few other places have rings or armor that relate to Earth. They should give some resistance. Other than that, try to find the weakness, keep whatever party members alive (Kenpo should survive) and bash away at until it falls.

SPOILER (don't read ahead if you actually want to solve these on your own).

Whew, Fox you picked a big one. The other party members can be gathered in the following manner, Kenpo is underground in the grove of those trees. Grab the first pice of the Hanatetsudai, experiment with jumping the river nearby. When you get to the bottom, hit the bit of steel there (it's a switch), to open a subcave in lake. Goto the northearth section, and look for a weird looking bit of driftwood. Actually, this is the second part of the Hanatetsudai. You can later goto the itemseller and get it forged. Then you jump into the water there, and head east until there is a hydra. If you can last five turns, defeat the hydra before that (or even pick a hidden third option to the hydra's questions) Kenpo shows up. I think this also gives you a Silver Key or something. Go to the third town, and there's MewMew (I think originally, she required a key to get to, but the current version doesn't seem to have it). Anyway, the cutscene after Kenpo should have opened up the way to Heaven. So go up there, defeat Gabriel, and there will be a choice. Pick the one that mentions freeing Heaven up or something, and Gabriel will join your party.

So that's two requirements for the secret ending just there. Might as well tell it outright.

3rd task, Get the Eternal Spring Flask: Goto the item maker, and ask for a Empty flask, and choose the option to fill it while you're there.

4th task, get Inuyasha's "back-scratcher" (really the Tetsusaiga, but it isn't used as a weapon here): Goto heaven and walk along the invisible platforms, make your way near Inuyasha, and keep asking him for his back scratcher. He'll quit after about 6 askings.

5th task, martial artist mastery: In the same screen, ask an angel whether you can do martial arts training, and when she asks if it's okay to leave your friends behind, say "Maybe?" (hidden third option in un-updated versions). Then go back down, and there's a new stairway at the base of Heaven. Talk to the shrine and you'll have a trippy meditation sequence after which you can equip the ultimate martial arts.

6th task, ultimate character: This replaces Ashley with another character who can cast all types of spells (I think it changes her immunities though). After getting Gabriel go back to the three choices (now only two) and choose, I want the Boxes of Orden. Choose the correct one (I may wish to save your game, as one choice destroys the world, and the other destroys you). The correct one changes you into a new character. You can undo this by the back scratcher or flask items listed above. But this is a fairly decent character, so you might be okay with it.

7th task, the special cutscene: This is the one that is shown in the picture samples. Go into the forest and get to the small house nearby. Then look for the fireplace to start the cutscene (yea, the "romantic dialogue" is super-cheesy, sorry).

Find the dot on the map, and you can unlock the secret ending (if you have the latest version).

K, gonna test play versus Yakira to see if I can find anything out.
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