hi.
a game with a darker story is always nice, because you can tie it into the real world a bit more readily and have people identify or feel for it more, always a good quality in an rpg or other story-based game.
however all the violence and the ~dark gritty underworld~ seems really forced and excessive. judging by your description it's not a unique game with adult themes, but rather a very bland and generic story with a bunch of forced violence and sex just to make it look darker. if you want to make something that will make people think, or at least see it as something different, you need to make it flow naturally.
just refine it, and maybe get someone (like me, i'll give you my paypal info) to proofread it, and you could have something solid.
and change the name, 'X of Y' is a very overdone thing.
~kref