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Completable, and mercifully short

  • Hexatona
  • 09/04/2016 04:39 AM
  • 2039 views
Alright, I've been wanting to play this game for a while and review it. It originally piqued my interest as something of a funny joke game, and I have somewhat of an affinity for those.

Sadly, I got a little more (and less) than I bargained for on this.

This is a game where you have just gone to the school nurse and discovered that you have an STD. You have no insurance, and the nurse doesn't have antibiotics strong enough to help you. And, if left untreated, you will die.


Mapping

The mapping in this game is probably among the worst I've seen. I probably wouldn't be quite so harsh on this except there is one location (the police station) that you can't actually exit. Other than that, the game is actually built around this MASSIVE open map with no discernable features other than a few people, bullies, and badly made houses. Some houses you can enter. Some you can't. Some have doors. Some entrances are double wide. All places with discernable characteristics and really effort actually can't be entered! And, almost all of the interiors of the game have no bounding walls, and exits that are almost impossible to find. This, above most issues, is the hardest to get over.

Graphics

The interiors of the game are bland, the characters are mismatched. Plenty are from the RTP, which is fine. Some are from Earthbound. And others look to be either self-made or gotten from various sources. The atrocious mapping doesn't play well with all the mismatched tiles used in strange places.


Sound

Nothing to notice here, but I will give minor points for at least having music - not having music in this game would have been the final straw. Also, thankfully, it is very unobtrusive.

Combat

Nothing special here, you mostly fight bullies, clowns, and once, a lion. It's all just straight combat - you hit, I hit. This uses the ATB, so it's not turn based. Nobody has special skills (and, interesting to note, you cannot level up). The only advancemen you can get is from enemy drops, which THANK GOD happen 100% of the time. If this was not the case, the game would not be able to be completed.

Difficulty

Okay, I've only somewhat hinted at this, but the game's difficulty is like a rollercoaster. Both because of the puzzles, but also because of the combat. Make no mistake, if you do not find the mall or some other stall and buy some pizzas after your first battle, you will not be able to recover. Food items, and Keflex (an intibiotic) are your ownly forms of recovery - and Keflex costs more than what your first encounter will net you. And, your health drains at an even rate as well. It will probably take you one or two game overs before you finally find a mall in the labyrinth of samey tiles and can buy some healing items to save you. The one saving grace of the combat is that enemy drops are 100% - and you can get weapons and Keflex from this. And, once you get your weapon upgrades, you can sell them for huge money. Having said that, once you save yourself from imminent death - the difficulty evaporates. Once you get that foothold, you're fine. I had over a grand by the time I realized I didn't need the money and I wasn't going to level up.

The second part of the difficulty is the main puzzle and object of the game - finding out how you got the STD, and from whom. There are plenty of people to talk to, and some have to be spoken to in a certain order. The trouble is, there might be story related buildings you'll almost never find unless you absolutely scour the map. I just happened to find the most important building right when I needed it, which happened to be right by where you start - right at the end of the game! The entry point of the main quest is difficult to discern. You don't know if a building is useless, or you might be able to enter it if you have tripped a certain flag or gotten an item.

Fun

What little fun could have been gotten from this game is quickly drained by the shoddy interiors, bland combat, difficulty, and the main quest itself. There isn't even any fun to be gained from the dialogue with all the NPCs as they usually come across as half-baked or pointlessly Juvenile It's unfortunate, because I can see a better game behind the lines on this one. If the main map was smaller - or if it was simply a long, single road (with actual road) it would improve immensely. Small, niggling things like having your interiors walled off and the exit being clear. If where you could buy food and curative items more clear, to fix the initial combat shock. This could have been a fun little game.

Honestly, I feel bad giving a bad review to a game this old... Wait, this is from 2012? It feels like a game that came out two years after 2k3 first hit the internet.

I feel less bad, now. Actually, now that I think about it, this is just a game someone made to try and understand how to use RPG Maker - so take that as you will. Half a point for being completable, and another half for having unobtrusive music.

Anyway, if you still want to play it, know you can finish it off in about 2 hours - in about 30 minutes if you looked in the files and figured out where to go. It's completable, and not much else.

Posts

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Not to be mean, or rude, but why did you give a demo a star rating? I agree with you that it needs work, but the one star rating will be there long after the developer fixes things.
It's not a rule that demos shouldn't get stars, just that some reviewers choose not to.
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