The New Disciples (Season 1)

So you’ve discovered the wonderful world of RPG Maker. Wow! It turns out that RPG Maker is much better way to express your inner emotional turmoil than dyeing your hair black and cutting yourself while listening to whiney mass produced music. You spend the next month or so thinking up wonderful, badly mapped adventures for Alex and his new friends. This is the first stage of RMlife and is in many ways the best and most happiest even if your games epically suck and are made fun of by everyone else.

Then… suddenly it hits you! “Hey I can have my characters smoke WEED!!! And call each other atomic dicklicking thunderfucks!!!” Life is suddenly AWESOME. How do you celebrate your newfound freedom of expression? Why you start making the most vulgar retarded immature fucked up game you can possibly think of. You my friend have now entered the second stage of RMlife. Which I’m going to call “DON’T CENSOR ME MOTHERFUCKER!!!” Everyone goes through at least some form of DCMMF although some thankfully pull out of it fairly quickly. My own lasted well over a year and resulted in rather embarrassing projects.

The visual novel The New Disciples (Season 1) by new disciples is an excellent example of DCMMF along with a good dose of angsty artist syndrome thrown in for added flavor. The New Disciples is tagged as a form of Ironic Humor. Sadly irony is by far the most difficult form of humor to pull off successfully and the author of this project comes no where close to actually pulling this off.

The Good

-Excellent use of the words “Fuck” and “Cunt.” I like to see young people make full use of the entire English language.
-Breaking the story into six chapters with a chance to save halfway through was an excellent design choice.
-Killing off the Toronto Maple Leafs brought this Habs fan a brief moment of joy.
-You get a point for “Thou shall not pass motherfucker!”
-Racist character really did come off as a racist.

The Bad
-95% of dialogue was made up the sort of conversations thirteen year ago boys have after drinking a bunch of cough medicine they stole from their grandmothers.
-Barely funny at all
-Subject matter was poorly chosen. Please do your self therapy in private.
-Racist character makes author come off as a 12 year old aspie with daddy issues.

The Fugly
-Please NEVER USE THE WORD NIGGER IN A RM PROJECT AGAIN!
-Don’t waste your talent on pieces of shit like this.

Summary:
To be honest The New Disciples wasn’t even that offensive. It was just pathetic. Only worth your time if you absolutely must look at car wrecks.

To the author:
You actually seem to have some talent for comedy but why are you wasting this much time and effort on something that is clearly unfunny. I’m going to give you three names to Google and feed into your Bittorrent.
George Carlin
Bill Hicks
Sam Kinison

You want to be edgy and cool? Those are the masters study their work carefully.