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1st archived artistic content creation thread. For the active thread, click here.

Posts

author=BasedMG
Oh hey, it's fine. I suppose it's my fault for loading it up with music, but her route's pretty music-oriented. Sorry it's causing delays on your end. I'm actually about to upload a new release with less music so it might be less of a load. I sort of jumped the gun when downloading music for her, and even though i haven't used it in the story yet, I accidentally bundled them with the release itself, heh.

tl;dr: Sorry, it's all the music I haven't used yet.

Edit: In fact, you should probably just wait for the next release, since I did a bit of an overhaul on her tachie and some story events. I'm just playtesting it now to make sure everything fires off correctly when it needs to.

Edit 2: New release is released
Okay, so I've downloaded her now much smaller and manageable file of 5 MBs and I'll start playing her. So far, she's definitely cute. I could detail what kind of stupid little expressions she does, but to put it simply.. how many Other tachies does she have? XD

So if I -could- actually get lucky with the dice roll and land on an event more than twice a day, I'll be able to finish her route soon. Anyway... so yes, she's pretty cute. She giggles, yawns, winks and raises her brows a lot of times, and with all these Other tachies, she feels a lot more lively in her sequences. Which is weird, considering she's not all that lively in the daytime. Good job on that.

As for story, well, right now, I haven't done much the story yet. She's so clumsy~ really, one day she's sleeping in your classroom and the next she's sleeping in a school closet? When you ask for her name, she yawns as she says it. She's a pianist in the orchestra club and she's supposedly very good at it. I can't help but imagine Kotone playing her theme on the piano. :3

There's not much to be said about her story until I finish it, of course. But so far she's a lovable character and I'm curious to finish the story. :3

EDIT: So after 8 straight days of no events from her, I checked the story file. There aren't many sequences for her right now. XD Well, I'll be watching her development.

EDIT 2: The <player> character would be accurate if he didn't blink his eyes or act surprised so much. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that your depiction of the <player> actually gives him a personality other than being a perfect guy who teases, girl-pleases and is almost never unfazed.

Takuya's pretty accurate, too. You got his personality well. No issues, the obligatory Takuya scene would fit in with the rest of the game.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
I've not gotten Kotone yet, but it behooves me to look into her now that I'm an official developer and all. While I'm at it, I could have a look-see at Noriko.
author=Mute
-feedback snip-

Yeah, her story is far from actually complete; I'm just giving out early versions to get feedback before I get in too deep and it's too late to reverse what needs to be reversed.

According to the Profile, she has 16 tachie sprites in total, including the 7 "default" moods. I was sort of influenced by other VNs while writing this route (specifically Katawa Shoujo), so I ended up making lots of expressions for her, even though Heartache 101's main cast doesn't typically have a wide array of expressions. This explanation could also be applied to your comment about the <player> character; I wasn't sure how to go about writing him, so I ended up settling on a variation of KS's main character, molded to fit within his already established personality. If you think all the "awkward" gestures like blinking in surprise and all that don't fit, then I can easily edit them.

I'm glad you like her, though. At first I wasn't sure in which direction I should take her but now I think I've got a groove. It's a bit of a balancing act between keeping the player interested in her and keeping her in character. I can hardly see players pursuing a girl who does nothing but sleep and yawn in the middle of conversation, but at the same time making her too lively defeats the purpose of the character. So, for some scenes, I settled on a mixture of both.

You're not the only who who imagines Kotone playing her theme on the piano. :3

author=Mute
EDIT: So after 8 straight days of no events from her, I checked the story file. There aren't many sequences for her right now. XD Well, I'll be watching her development.

What was the last event you got with her? I know I had some issues with getting her events to fire while playtesting, but that was mainly due to bad RNG with which events are prioritized (as it should be).


At any rate, thanks for your feedback, and I'll take into consideration how I characterize the <player> when I go to write more. One of my main concerns is whether I'm describing things/narrating too much, rather than the spontaneous-feeling ":shrug:"s and such of the original routes.

author=BasedMG
-snip-

This explanation could also be applied to your comment about the <player> character; I wasn't sure how to go about writing him, so I ended up settling on a variation of KS's main character, molded to fit within his already established personality. If you think all the "awkward" gestures like blinking in surprise and all that don't fit, then I can easily edit them.

The <player> can be described as a guy who spends most of his free time having fun and hanging with friends. Despite the fact that he studies, he's got a mountain of homework at his house. Whenever he isn't talking to someone, he's usually lost in thought. Likes to make snarky comments when someone is annoying him, but typically acts friendly.

There's some slight variation in his personality depending on the choices in the game, though. All that's just my own opinion, so don't trust me on that. You're the one telling the story, so write it as you like. I'm just assuming you want it to fit in with the rest of the story.


What was the last event you got with her? I know I had some issues with getting her events to fire while playtesting, but that was mainly due to bad RNG with which events are prioritized (as it should be).

The last event I got was the soul check. Looks like I won't be going down the personality route.

At any rate, thanks for your feedback, and I'll take into consideration how I characterize the <player> when I go to write more. One of my main concerns is whether I'm describing things/narrating too much, rather than the spontaneous-feeling ":shrug:"s and such of the original routes.

Nah. The narration's fine. Typically, the <player> makes comments at the beginning and end of a sequence, occasionally having thoughts about what's being currently said, so it's fine. And there's never too much detail e.e



Comments in bold text.
author=Mute
There's some slight variation in his personality depending on the choices in the game, though. All that's just my own opinion, so don't trust me on that. You're the one telling the story, so write it as you like. I'm just assuming you want it to fit in with the rest of the story.

Ah, alright. I get what you're saying now. Yeah, I'd like it to fit in with the rest of the story, so I'll go back and edit the parts that need to be edited.

author=Mute
The last event I got was the soul check. Looks like I won't be going down the personality route.

Ah, yeah, the soul check was the last scene for that release, so you've already played the entire route as it is now, discounting the writing I'm doing as we speak.

author=Mute
Nah. The narration's fine. Typically, the <player> makes comments at the beginning and end of a sequence, occasionally having thoughts about what's being currently said, so it's fine. And there's never too much detail e.e

Right, right, I was more concerned about emotes and such though, but thinking on it I guess there's no need to fret.


Rest assured, the route is going swimmingly, and I've already added a couple more phone scenes and starting to begin the meat of the plot. I foresee around 20-30 scenes total, only counting main route scenes and not side scenes like phone conversations or dates.

Edit: Out of curiosity, which scenes involving the <player> gave you the most "issues"?
author=BasedMG
-snop-
Right, right, I was more concerned about emotes and such though, but thinking on it I guess there's no need to fret.

More concerned about emotes? What do you mean by "emotes"?

Rest assured, the route is going swimmingly, and I've already added a couple more phone scenes and starting to begin the meat of the plot. I foresee around 20-30 scenes total, only counting main route scenes and not side scenes like phone conversations or dates.

It's typically 40-50 scenes, but that doesn't really matter if you can write the story in less. Should be fun. :3

Edit: Out of curiosity, which scenes involving the <player> gave you the most "issues"?

ID = 0
(She giggles lightly, leaving me a little flustered at both my confusion and how girlishly cute it sounds.)
ID = 70
NEUTRAL
I'm Ko-
OTHER1
*yawn*
NEUTRAL
-e. Got that?
ID = 0
(I only blink a few times as my response. She seems to take this as a "yes", and she turns to go wherever it was she was going.)


Yes, because the <player> actually expresses his confusion in the form of facial expressions.

(Damn, I probably could have worded that better. And the sad look she gives me only drives the point home.)

The game itself does have like one or two curse words, I guess. But I'll point out anyway that some people might not like cursing. It sounds better than "dang" though >.>

author=Mute
-snoop-


Ah huh, I see now. I suppose I was going for a more realistic reaction, but I see your point there and will edit it accordingly. Regarding curse words, I tend to be a bit more casual with them than maybe I should, so "minor" swears like "damn" and "crap" aren't that big of a deal to me. I'll replace it though.

author=Mute
More concerned about emotes? What do you mean by "emotes"?

I mean simple actions like shrugs and sighs, which are denoted by "action script" (double colons, double stars, any punctuation used to denote an action). My main reason for concern is the fact that I use them for Kotone's *yawn*s, but for other actions I describe them through narration. It's a bit of an inane concern, but there it is.

Again, thanks for your feedback. I can get ahead of myself sometimes, which ends up in inconsistencies like the player's confused expressions and the swearing.
author=Mute
The game itself does have like one or two curse words, I guess. But I'll point out anyway that some people might not like cursing. It sounds better than "dang" though >.>


We're PG-13. Cursing is absolutely allowed as long as it is also tasteful, and may vary from character to character. Saying 'Fuck you' at an appropriately dramatic moment should be okay; filling the textbox with variations of it when it isn't played for laughs is not. Some routes utilize our freedom in that regard. The most pootymouthed characters so far are Seira and Mayu, though Miki, Kyouki and 21 are just as willing to do so - they merely have a more refined vocabulary and the subtlety to deliver insults under the radar.

There's some slight variation in his personality depending on the choices in the game, though. All that's just my own opinion, so don't trust me on that.
Three of them to be precise. I wrote a rough essay detailing each. When fully polished, I will share on a Chart Weekend to your benefit:)
Pre-Beta v0.3 released!

Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
Some notes before I get into the meat of these characters.

Noriko

Her phone-face is really off. Setting FACE X to 79 and FACE Y to 65 in the profile seems like a close-enough approximate. If my suspicions are correct, the irregular width of these tachie is what is doing this. In that regard, it might be possible to leave the profile alone, but set each of her tachie to be 255 pixels wide, and re-center them?


Kotone

I really like what you're doing with these tachie. They make her more "alive". Call me crazy, but the eye-quirk is my favorite.

*Edit: Oh, a new version of Kotone already? Well, that's okay. I wasn't that far into this particular play-through.

*Edit 2: Uh, you missed something, BasedMG. In story 1202 in "kotone_story.txt", it reads "CONDITION = 1202" Methinks you want it to read "CONDITION = 1202 DONE"!
Was about to let you know about the "CONDITION = 1202" error, but Marrend ninja'd me. :P

So.. just gonna fix that and start playing..
author=Marrend and Mute
CONDITION = 1202 error
Oh man, you're right! Thanks for telling me that; working on this stuff late at night is never clean. Fixed.

Edit (Minor Spoiler): I'm also aware of the club events having a disjointed sense of flow because of the JUMP command. I wanted multiple events within the file to be able to call these scenes for reasons that become obvious if you look at the file. Sadly, jumping to a new story (including the screen wipe transition) was the only way I could achieve that.
author=BasedMG
Edit (Minor Spoiler): I'm also aware of the club events having a disjointed sense of flow because of the JUMP command. I wanted multiple events within the file to be able to call these scenes for reasons that become obvious if you look at the file. Sadly, jumping to a new story (including the screen wipe transition) was the only way I could achieve that.


Actually, you don't need to jump to a new story to get a transition. You can also get one in a branch. Didn't see you doing this in your code, so thought you might not know. I used this a few times in Noriko's story.
author=dewelar
author=BasedMG
Edit (Minor Spoiler): I'm also aware of the club events having a disjointed sense of flow because of the JUMP command. I wanted multiple events within the file to be able to call these scenes for reasons that become obvious if you look at the file. Sadly, jumping to a new story (including the screen wipe transition) was the only way I could achieve that.
Actually, you don't need to jump to a new story to get a transition. You can also get one in a branch. Didn't see you doing this in your code, so thought you might not know. I used this a few times in Noriko's story.
No, I meant that the transition was an unwanted addition to the story jumps. I think I have an idea of how to fix it, though.

Update: The fix is success. Removing the "PLACE = Club" from the jump events tidied it up quite nicely.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
On Day 50 of my Norkio/Kotone run. Started getting Kotone's events fairly recently. Like, within the past in-game week or so? Not too sure of that. Either way, I like the way her story is panning out. Noriko's events started earlier in this playthrough (Day 1?), and I'm generally liking what I'm seeing here as well.

I also had Fran (and, by necessity, Masako) enabled on this run. Not quite sure why I did this, but I got Masako's STORY 2 event before she was even "introduced" into the game. Didn't somebody made a comment about this earlier? Anyway, I added a "CONDITION = 1 DONE" line into that event, which seems to fix this oddity. After I finish combing through Fran's files for grammar issues (I found a few in this playthrough), I'll do an update of both.
author=Marrend
On Day 50 of my Norkio/Kotone run. Started getting Kotone's events fairly recently. Like, within the past in-game week or so? Not too sure of that.

Damn, sounds like you got hit with the RNG hammer. Her events start relatively early for me, sometimes immediately after the trigger that causes her route to become available. Of course, I'm only playing with the built-in characters in addition to Kotone for testing purposes, so there's that.
author=BasedMG
author=dewelar
author=BasedMG
Edit (Minor Spoiler): I'm also aware of the club events having a disjointed sense of flow because of the JUMP command. I wanted multiple events within the file to be able to call these scenes for reasons that become obvious if you look at the file. Sadly, jumping to a new story (including the screen wipe transition) was the only way I could achieve that.
Actually, you don't need to jump to a new story to get a transition. You can also get one in a branch. Didn't see you doing this in your code, so thought you might not know. I used this a few times in Noriko's story.
No, I meant that the transition was an unwanted addition to the story jumps. I think I have an idea of how to fix it, though.

Update: The fix is success. Removing the "PLACE = Club" from the jump events tidied it up quite nicely.


Ah, sorry for the confusion. I haven't actually done any play-testing with the character yet (been working on other stuff), but yeah, you picked up on what my suggestion would have been anyway.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
Fran and Masako have been updated! Now, let's get back to that Noriko/Kotone play-through.
Having some blockage in writing the route; time to put on some Guile's Theme, methinks.

Edit: Of course, I say that and then spend the next five hours farking around on Youtube.
author=Marrend
Noriko

Her phone-face is really off. Setting FACE X to 79 and FACE Y to 65 in the profile seems like a close-enough approximate. If my suspicions are correct, the irregular width of these tachie is what is doing this. In that regard, it might be possible to leave the profile alone, but set each of her tachie to be 255 pixels wide, and re-center them?

Dang. Totally missed this. That's what I get for just copying Dozen's tachie straight into the zip file without testing it. The problem is that the way the Character Customizer is designed, I can only see one digit in the Face X and Face Y boxes, and I can't type in them at all. Guh.

Edit: For the sake of convenience, I just re-uploaded Noriko's zip file with Marrend's tachie instead of Dozen's. They appear to display properly. Headaches, I do not need :-/ .