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Dialogue Teaser

  • tpasmall
  • 01/18/2013 04:09 PM
Below is a scene I have working on in which Marcus is reunited with his wife Amy, after 10 years of being shipwrecked on the island of Aliquam. This contains major spoilers, but I wanted to share a piece of what I was working on with everyone. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

(scene fades into Amy’s home)

Marcus: And that’s how I finally got back.

Amy: I’m so sorry, I...I’m...I just can’t believe you’re alive!

Marcus: Hey, it’s ok, I’m home now. It feels good to be home.

Amy: ...you’re so thin, can I make something for you? You must be starving!

Marcus: Ah, I’ll be alright. Seeing you again is nourishment enough for me.

Amy: *blushes* You always did know the right thing to say...

Marcus: Well, you always made it easy to.

Piper: Mommy, mommy!

(Piper and Conley walk in)

Amy: Yes, what is it Piper?

Piper: Conley threw a frog at me!

Conley: Did not!

Piper: Did to!

Amy: Conley, is that true?

Conley: No!

Amy: Conley, tell mommy the truth.

Conley: Ok...yes, but she called me a booger face first!

Amy: Is this true Piper?

Piper: ...yes...

Amy: You know we don’t call each other names, I want you to apologize to your brother.

Piper: ..sorry Conley...

Amy: And Conley, even if someone calls you a name, that doesn’t give you the right to throw frogs at them. Don't you think you should apologize to your sister?

Conley: ...sorry Piper...

Amy: Ok, thank you both, run along now.

Conley: Hey mister, that’s a cool bow! Are you a hunter?

Marcus: I am, and thank you. My father gave me this bow, he was a hunter too.

Conley: Cool! When I grow up, I want to be a hunter!

Marcus: Well, I’ll tell you what, you can have this.

Conley: Oh wow, an arrowhead! Thanks mister!

Marcus: You’re welcome, be careful with it now.

Piper: Hey! What about me?

Marcus: I’ve got something for you too.

Piper: A necklace! It’s so pretty!!

Marcus: And it will look especially pretty on you.

Piper: Thank you!!

Conley: Let’s go show dad!

Piper: Yeah!

(the kids run off)

Amy: ...you kept the necklace...

Marcus: Yeah, it helped remind me of you..so...

Amy: I got married.

Marcus: I thought you might have.

Amy: I would never...

Marcus: I know.

Amy: If I knew you were alive...

Marcus: I probably would have done the same thing.

Amy: I didn’t want to. It just kind of...happened. One day Clifford was just there. He took care of me. I was a mess.

Marcus: You don’t have to defend yourself, I understand.

Amy: I had to bury you. They had to pry me off your casket.

Marcus: There was a casket?

Amy: There is an entire memorial built to you, it’s at the pond, behind the house. King Magnus himself came for the service.

Marcus: What was inside?

Amy: Some clothes, a bow, arrows, anything that represented you.

Marcus: Ha, I guess that’d be about it.

(a knock at the door)

Amy: Come in!

(Faeroe enters)

Marcus: Were you looking for me Faeroe?

Faeroe: Actually, someone named Geoffrey Fulton is. Said he wanted to meet the man that everyone is talking about.

Marcus: Fulton eh? The name isn’t familiar, I guess I should find out what he wants.

Amy: It was great seeing you Marcus. I just want you to know, no matter what I’ll always love you.

Marcus: You too.

(Marcus turns to leave)

Amy: And Marcus...I’m really glad you’re alive.

Marcus: You too. *grins*

(scene fades into Caudine Manor)


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Thanks! I'm trying to make my dialogue more raw and emotional. I've been reworking all the dialogue in the game, and this is my favorite scene so far. He's a real classy guy and I feel like this scene shows that side of his personality perfectly.
Despite being a spoiler I read it with great delight: so very emotional. And Marcus didn't act like some total jerk, but he could. I like how soft, gentle, and intelligent Marcus is portrayed.
Pages: 1