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let's play Pr0vol1!!!

Prologue
Provolone is a cheese.
In italian "Provolone" is a dumb/gullible person.
But if you say "to do the Provolone" it means "to be an insopportable womanizer".
Instead seems that in english Provolone is the Post Malone wannabee. Hm ok.

So we begin...
I saw this game with no reviews and I decided to try it. This is a strange game, a really weird one!

Well, I do not know if some things were badly implemented or these were done on purpouse, nonenthless I had fun, lots of fun with this little game, and that's weird considering the issues I encountered for example:

1 - The starting armor shop does not work/talk at all (unlike all the others)

2 - There are some spelling errors like "recieived" and many cut words (like "ca" for "can't", "firs" for "first", "frie" for friend) that aren't visualized correctly.

3 - Seraphine's Antidote description says "Heals Blind" but no, of course this heals Poison!

4 - Will says that "They" are dangerous, when the opponent is just one!

5 - There are invisible buyable items with no name and at no cost on the market in the plaza.

6 - Game freezes sometimes if you refuse to enter some locations like the Coliseum. That location is useless, anyway you can still enter the place.

7 - The "Fields" (random dungeons) do not work, sometimes you cannot enter them at all.

8 - During combat sometimes (I think when using the "Limit" attack) one of the other characters takes Seraphine appearance.

9 - Game slow down and freezes for a bit when Bluff is used (well not that is a great problem).


Looks like a normal and boring Jrpg from this pic! Seraphine is taking a good hit, by the way!

I will not talk about the story, but hey there is not much story here, and I would spoil the fun. Let's just day that you play as Seraphine (or, better,you incarnate in her, and the game assumes that the player is male), that wakes up with no memories and then join the witch Lisa when she asks to save her boyfriend Will. This is how the adventure begins.

Most charsets and chipsets are the usual rtp or edits, anyway I loved the many different facesets for the different character's expressions, they're pretty funny.
Mapping is decent, there's one particular dungeon with a great lightning effect, otherwise mapping is basic but not horrible. Again, I wonder if this is for parody effect or if the game is a mess.
No wait, this game is a mess, you will found that many locations are off limits and some things lead to nothing (you find a closed door and a female elf that promise to give you a key if you go there later... but you can't! Is this a joke?)

But hey, so how did I have fun?
Well simply, writing is for the most part hilarious (expect Final Fantasy references and parodies) as are the different situations, it's a parody of the genre and the author says that he took inspiration from Epic Elf (Hm just played a bit of it, but I loved Epic Elf 2!). So I took this like a silly game, and I was not disappointed! The facesets and the expressions are also great fun, as I mentioned before.


Well, Lisa is my favourite party member! I love her!

Second, combat is rather easy, but still interesting, Seraphine is a sort of fighter/healer, Lisa is very strong with her Bluff skill and Will has strong elemental magics. But this is not all! Later you will find equippable abilities like for example Peep that will let you know the opponent characteristics, or the classical Blue Magic, used to mimic the opponent's skills.
Encounters are for the most part random (except for bosses) but you can always run away (except for bosses). You can save only on the map, but in the various dungeons you can find some little flames that act as vendors, healing and save points.
So, yes, there are some good qualities in this game!

Aaaaand the best is the ending. I guess there is no alternate ending, anyway I found it to be perfect, even if some questione and matters (especially about the protagonist) remain unresolved. But hey... this was a funny trip (you can give this last sentence different meanings, and they all apply!).

And here we end this review
I should probably give 2.5 to this game, bit despite these issues I had fun and I know that some problems seems to be jokes: for example at the market Will warns that some vendors sell useless items, and since the characters often break the fourth wall saying that they know to be inside an rpg... the unnamed items could be be these items... maybe...
Or maybe not.
I do not know. This game is a big mess but it never takes anything seriously so I am going to treat this as a joke game.
And it's a joke that made me laugh, wasn't too long or boring or difficult. Rather the opposite.

I clearly am seeing top much in this game so I will stop here. The verdict is 3, so bad it' s so good.

Ps: I was joking of course. I understand that this game is incomplete and many ideas weren't realized well (like the "fields") unlike others (the Thief Glove that lets you steal is nice and provide hilarious dialogues: just try to rob a child!).

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BAHAHAH I HAVE TO SAY, GETTING A REVIEW OF THIS IN 2013 MADE MY DAY SO MUCH <3

This game is... Weird. It's half a joke game, half a pseudo-diary, half a dump of "what if" cool features i wanted to include at the time, and it's a relic of a time where i was just having fun and doing something entirely for myself and no one else

honestly, I miss how honest and weird I could be back then, and seeing how it was entertaining to you despite all its bizarre flaws and issues is really motivating lol

Thanks a LOT for this review!!! <3
Now I'm gonna go replay it... It's funny, I wanted to make a Provolone 2 (I'm far too removed from the setting in Provolone for I to be able to just continue the game) but I just find myself to be a lot stiffer and stressed nowadays. Maybe it's the sheer pressure wanting to go commercial and make a living off of this, which is why you'll find that my latest endeavor is almost a polar opposite. Also, Epic Elf rocks! It's a polished, cohesive game, though. Unlike this lol

Also³²²¹³ if you open the game on rm2k3 (which by all means do if you can) i think you may come across some unimplemented Fields? I wanted to do some random stuffs like a mini Castlevania sideview level. Quirky levels that intentionally don't fit with the game lol

woop-a-doop


edit: JO IT'S NOT 2013
Hey! Happy you liked a review.

This was a funny game with funny dialogues and funny characters. I agree, Epic Elf is good. But I prefer Epic Elf II (and I like Grissan too, same author!).

I will check the maps, I usually do this only if I have problems in completini the game, I do not want to spoil the fun.
By the way the empty castle I mentioned has a very Castlevania-like corridor! (Oh I remember other games that used Castlevania styled parts, pity that they are lost in time).

Hmmm I just wonder what could be the story of Provolone 2...

Well maybe it is not 2013 bit seems that I'm stuck with all these Rmk2003 games. I just love them! :)
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