Bundesvision Brigade II

A review of: Bundesvision Brigade II
Engine: RPG Maker 2003
Status: Complete
Genre: Fan game?
Game Length: 1-2 hours

One of the funniest things I've seen in RPG Maker... but perhaps not for the right reasons. Join me as we take a look at 'Bundesvision Brigade II', a bizzare and quite frankly baffling tale based on a not very popular German TV show.


Oh non!

I've never felt the need to review or even post a comment on this website before. That is, until I saw this page on the 'games list' yesterday.
On the surface of it you might not think that Stefan Raab's Bundesvision Song Contest is a good basis for a Final Fantasy style RPG. And guess what, you'd be right. I don't even know how the creator of this game came up with this concept, or why they thought the world needed a Bundesvision RPG. But it's here, and it exists. Twice? Because apparently this is the second in a series of games. Also please say the words 'Bundesvision Brigade' out loud (or just think them really clearly). See how ridiculous it sounds? And just what is the 'Bundesvision Brigade', anyway?
If you're reading this review, and you aren't from Germany, then there's a good chance that you don't know what the Bundesvision Song Contest is. Technically that doesn't matter as this game seems to only have a very bare attachment to Bundesvision itself, and doesn't really explain the concept of the show that well either, but I will say that it is a song competition in which the 16 states of Germany compete against each other. It is based very heavily on the Eurovision Song Contest, and follows nearly the exact same format.
If you're American, imagine if someone made an RPG about American Idol, where you play as J-Lo and whoever else is still involved on that show, and fought dragons and wander around collecting crystals like any old cliché RPG.
Still with me? Good. Now we can move on to reviewing the game itself.

Mechanics:

The game itself is actually pretty solid technically speaking, and, as far as I've noticed, there are no game breaking bugs or anything like that. The caterpillar system is neat, and something I've only seen in a few RPG Maker 2003 games before this one. However, it bugs on small maps, and for a split second upon entering a small map, half of the characters are on the wrong place on the screen.


WHAT IS HAPPEN

Now, onto the really bad. The battle system is seriously unbalanced. The battles (apart from the cutscene battles that you are supposed to lose to advance the plot) are super easy! They're so easy that it's ridiculous! I'm not even sure it's possible to lose in this game! A two year old could beat it! The regular enemies literally take zero damage from you most of the time (I am not joking), and it seems like they attack only once an hour or something. And this is at level one! Once you level up it somehow becomes even easier! Once you hit level three or four you can literally one hit kill nearly all of the regular enemies. Where's the challenge? There's no point to these fights at all!


See what I mean...?

By the way, it literally took me nearly six minutes to take this picture, because the enemy just sat there and WOULD NOT ATTACK. And these aren't first level enemies, this is an enemy fight halfway through the game!

Also they set the flying attribute on some enemies that couldn't possibly fly! Why does the snake float up and down? More importantly, why does it take no damage?!

And as for the boss fights, the boss maybe takes 10 or something damage from you? The battles take longer but you just keep mashing the attack button (or you can use some special attacks, such as 'Hamburg Hammer' and 'Berlin Lion' and other strange state themed attacks, but most of these special attacks actually take less than your normal attack so it's a complete waste of time) You literally cannot lose! A cat could play this game blindfolded and still get to the end! I'm surprised the bad guys haven't already been defeated by a leaf floating on the wind. And after boss fights, the game automatically heals you! What the?! You thought this game wasn't easy enough already?
It is possible to beat this game without going into a single inn, or buying any potions from one of the many shops (which are super cheap, by the way, you can literally buy 99 potions by the time you're at the fifth state), and that's not to mention the other items you can buy. The money you get from defeating bosses is ridiculous! By the time I had completed the game, I had over 30,000 euros!


Wait, why is Tim listed as 'Berliner' while the others aren't listed as anything?

Also, speaking of weird game mechanics, what's up with the strange, unusable items that the game just decides to randomly dump in your inventory every so often?


JESUS CHRIST

Why do I need a coconut from Saxony? They don't even have coconuts in Saxony! And just what is all this stuff anyway? Why do I need nearly twenty greyed out items that I can't even use?! Why???

Score: 4/10


Graphics:


The graphics of this game are RTP for the most part, including most of the characters and nearly all of the mapping. The choices of graphics are appropriate.
The German state flags and the little TV seem to be the only graphics that the creator made themselves, some come from a Japanese website that specialises in giving away RPG Maker graphics for use in games (although the name of the site eludes me at the moment...), and the rest were generated by the creator using the Charas Project generators (which I suppose is why some of the custom battlesets look a little off).
Also the face sets, although they are just the characters' battle sprites pasted onto the flag of the characters' state, they do look quite cute. The use of graphics is good, nothing really looks out of place accept for that one area in Rheinland-Pfalz.

Rating: 6/10


Mapping:


The mapping isn't the worst I've seen, but it certainly isn't the best, either. Some maps look good, many ok, and a few look quite bare. However, some of the states appear to be copy-pastes of each other with some editing done to each.



Hmm...

Many maps also are full of NPCs wandering aimlessly around. Some of them say generic things, others are supposed to represent other Bundesvision contestants, and give you some backstory to the plot or send you on a short sidequest. The little butterflies that fly around, items you can interact with, animals that make noises when you talk to them, and smoke coming out of the chimneys are nice little touches.

Score: 5/10


Sound:

The soundtrack is good overall, as well as the many sound effects used. There are some RTP songs in there, many songs from other video games, and quite a few that I didn't even recognise. There is an awful lot of variety in the soundtracks, and some of the songs were very good. Funnily enough though, no songs from the actual Bundesvision Song Contest are present here (although I guess that would have the potential to be some sort of copyright nightmare). While most of the song choices were good, a few were rather strange, such as Baden-Württemberg's theme being the theme tune from 'Cagney and Lacey'. Also I think Bavaria's theme was a song from the Little Mermaid?!

Score: 8/10


Characters:


No thanks.

The first thing I noticed, as these people are all 'celebrities' (or close enough) in Germany, is that none of the characters really look like the people they are supposed to be! Xavier is probably the closest. But, as for the others... Stefan Raab is now a green haired magical elf, while Tim Bendzko is some sort of purple haired anime character. Peter Fox is now an actual fox rather than that just being his stage name. Also Kool Savas is a pirate?!
The dialouge is ok, and there are no spelling or grammar errors whatsoever. The characters each have personalities, although some of what's said comes across as quite cheesy.

I would critise the fact that none of the four main characters are girls, however, no girl has won Bundesvision for years, and the four main characters are all the Bundesvision winners of the previous two years and the creator of the contest, so I'll forgive them for that. There are, of course, many girl characters who play a big part in the game, the biggest two probably being Eva from Juli and Marta Jandova, both of which have a big part in the game, especially in the cutscenes (which there are many of) and who you play as in a cutscene battle.


An example of some stunning dialogue


Oh no!

Flutterby, on the other hand, is your stereotypical Saturday morning cartoon villain, right down to the "muhahahahaha".


MUHAHAHA I WILL STOP YOUR BUNDESCONTEST FOR BUNDESEVER

Wait a second, what's up with the mapping here? And what's with those MSPaint wings that Flutterby has in his facesprite?


Story:


SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Ah, here we go, the plot. I guess this must be the selling point of BB2 considering this is the only thing that is unique in a game that is full of nearly all-RTP graphics. The storyline is somehow cliché and original at the same time. We'll start at the beginning.
The opening cutscene is strange. A long opening which starts out with a montage of all the German state (Land) flags and then goes on to explain that Germany is 'full of magic' and there are witches and wizards all across the country. All set to the soundtrack of a Dragonball Z song. Yeaaah...


Is it..!?

Flutterby apparently tried to enter for the Bundesvision in 2010, but was rejected. And so he set up a group called 'United against Bundesvision' to "get revenge on the contest." The Bundesvision entrants set up their own group, cheesily named the 'Bundesvision Brigade', and apparently they have defeated Flutterby once before. Who exactly is in this 'brigade' is never mentioned, so I can only assume that everyone who has ever participated in Bundesvision is forced to be a part of this completely ludicrous organisation.
Flash foward to present day, and we are treated to a scene in which Flutterby steals a trophy from some past winner of the contest. OH NO
And then, a few days later, at the contest itself, everything's going well. But suddenly, Flutterby shows up at the last minute, and fires some sort of ice beam which traps all of the entrants who are in the green room inside crystals, and then teleports away with all of them. It's up to the four who escaped the attack (I really don't understand why Flutterby didn't just trap them too, but then there'd be no game, I guess) to recover the crystals, which have been dropped into all the different states of Germany.
So, here comes the old cliché RPG storyline where you have to go around the place collecting crystals, only with the Bundesvision Song Contest thrown into the mix for some strange reason.
The storyline seems to almost take itself seriously, and yet at the same time, not. Which is good because I can't take a game that involves Xavier Naidoo fighting dragons seriously at all.
After the opening cutscene we are thrown straight onto the world map, which has all the 16 states of Germany on it. And yes, you have to go to all of them. There's even a 17th level! Joy!


"Hey, remember those other countries that used to border Germany? Well, whatever. They're gone now. Also this is totally what Germany looks like!"

The Germany of Bundesvision Brigade is a fantasy world, consisting of villages filled with dragons, witches, and other magical things. For some strange reason, it's now also an island, with no other countries in sight. Yeah, take that, rest of Europe!


Ok, scary wolf-guy!

You wander around each of the states. Each level has a flag telling you what state you're in, which is good because I wouldn't know otherwise. I'm not sure this person cares about showing the true German states at all. Saxony is made into a 'beach state' for no reason whatsoever, despite being landlocked and not having a beach anywhere in sight, while neighbouring Saxony-Anhalt is a snowy tundra level. The people of Schleswig-Holstein are presented as some sort of tree hugging hippies who all live in the forest. And why does Mecklenburg-Vorpommern appear to be a muddy dump?!



Uh... yeah. Also her name isn't 'Jennifer Rostock', despite her being referred to as that for the entirety of the game.



Her name is Jennifer Weist! Also in these scene we see our ship, the 'HMS Bundesvision', which we apparently own and have owned this entire time?! And doesn't HMS mean 'her majesty's ship'?!
Random references to other German pop culture, Heino, Thomas Gottschalk and Maya the Bee all make an appearance in this game. Also, there's this:


While the spelling and grammar is solid throughout the game, it's moments like these which make me question whether this game was originally translated from another language or something. "Welcome to Bundesbox?" Really?
...But apparently the creator of this game is British?!

Also, a quick word about the prefix 'Bundes', as the creator of this game seems to think that shoving 'Bundes' in front of any English word makes it become automatically German. (Or, should I say, Bundesgerman?) The trophies won become 'Bundestrophies', while that box we just came across is referred to as 'Bundesbox'. I even think you win a Bundesmedal at one point! The closest translation for 'Bundes' would probably be something like 'federal'. Federal, as in, relating to the states (Bundesländer). It is most certainly not Bundes as in SUPER BUNDES BUNDESGERMANY.
By the way, guess what the Bundesbox does? That's right, it heals you! Surprise! Just like the many random wishing wells that you can interact with that fully heal your entire party too! Because this game wasn't already super easy? We really need boxes that fully heal you every two steps? What's the point of even buying potions again? Jeez...

Anyway, back to the story. Whatever is happening with the Bundesvision isn't the only storyline, you know. There are other side plots, too. A group called the 'Skylight Bavarians' wants independence for Bavaria, and they team up with Flutterby to make this dream a reality. What any of that has to do with the Bundesvision Song Contest is anyone's guess, but it is refreshing to see a new subplot, at least.


(By this point in the game you are one hit killing literally everything, so I would say the Bundesvision Brigade.)

Strangely though, the latter half of the game is a lot better than the first, I would say, story wise. Cutscenes start to make a more regular appearance, and side plots like the 'Bodensee boat race' (a completely ficticious event, in case you were wondering), the takeover at 'Lower Saxony castle' (spoiler: not a real castle, obviously, unless they of course meant one of the places from this list or this list. There's tons of castles there.) And of course the whole issue with the Skylight Bavarians and Bavarian independence appears again. Bavarian independence is a joke issue rather than a serious one in real life, but hey, it's just a game, so let's roll with it.
The ending was probably the strongest point of the game for me. A 20 minute cutscene detailing your victory and showing the main characters appearing on Thomas Gottschalk's (former) show 'Wetten, Dass..?' let's you know that yes, you've saved the day. Congratulations, a winner is you.
The scene with the schoolchildren towards the end was rather cute, as well. But then we're suddenly back to the sea of nonsense as we walk into 'Merkel's Palace' to get our award for saving Bundesvision (which is apparently now an event of national importance), to the tune of 'Biggest Dreamer' from Digimon. We're even referred to at one point as 'Germany's #1 superheroes'.



WOO, WE'RE THE GREATEST BUNDESHEROES IN ALL OF BUNDESGERMANY
I CAN'T BUNDESBELIEVE IT

Bundesscore: 6/10
(For the nonsense and fun factor if nothing else)


Conclusion:

Apparently the creator realises this is in fact quite strange, but they really enjoyed making it so good for them. 'Bundesvision Brigade II' is certainly a unique game, there's no doubt about that. It's the reason that I chose to review this particular game rather than the mountains of FF and Mario clones, which, while that's great, have already been reviewed by so many people already.
Also, I don't think I've mentioned the fact that this is apparently a sequel yet. But, the first 'Bundesvision Brigade' was the first game the creator has ever made, and they told me that's why they never posted it onto this site. As we know from experience, first projects are nearly always pretty shoddy and not very good. They also told me that they thought even this one wouldn't get accepted onto the website, which I think is maybe a little bit harsh.
So no, this is not a professional game in any way, but it is certainly not the worst thing that has ever been made, and it does have it's moments. I mean... it certainly is a unique idea, if nothing else. I can't imagine many other people making a Bundesvision RPG, but that's probably for a very good reason. And hey, credit where credit's due. This game took me around two hours to beat, despite being the most super easy game in the whole universe. The cutscenes feel as though actual effort has gone into creating them.
And, while I may have forgotten everything about all those generic cliché clones of other generic RPGs, I won't ever forget the time I played as Stefan Raab as an elf fighting a floating ghost in the middle of Berlin. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is up to you to decide. Right now though, I want some of whatever the creator was smoking when they decided to make this.

Overall Rating: 2/5