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Pointless Actions

Or are they really? In a world where nearly everything is interactive, yet pointless to interact with, the most boring citizen, Ralph, sets out to find adventure. He seeks help from friends and enemies alike, and little does Ralph know that his adventure has only begun.

One lone hero, wandering the world. Sole possessor of the powers Open Door (0 mana) and Interact with object (0 SP) in the dreary land, Ralph seeks something greater than himself.
Finding great power in the most ordinary of interactions, the great and wise Ralph sagely observes and learns various skills- some more useful than others- in his quest to save the world
cure his amnesia
rescue a princess
defeat the Ancient Overlord of Darkness and Immeasurable Evil (we call him Odie for short)
slaughter everyone
... his quest to... do... something. Something significant. Something worth making an RPG over!

Features include:
- lack of real plot
- open world exploration
- being hit by a random girl because you attempted to sleep on her bed
without her in it, don't worry, all rated E for Everyone
- windowless houses! (mostly)
- failing to bake bread (75% chance!)
- learning dark magic
- being insulted by various personages, ranging from your best friend to a mysterious voice in your head
- said mysterious voice dictating your actions and what you have found/obtained at any given time
- battle-deprived playtime
- suspense of finding the town over the rainbow and far, far away
- advice from Dora the Explorer
- wandering aimlessly
- various parts left up to fate (see: variables set to random integers, conditionals)
- erm, 'unique' shop descriptions
- stuffing butterflies into your bag
- randomly bolded words in the game summary
- and two thousand pounds more!


Ralph- A generic, uninteresting hero who you can change the name of if you think him to be too generic and uninteresting. He currently is off on a quest to find a quest.

Other possible party members (spoilers!):


Logan- A loyal, albeit sarcastic best friend who, despite appearances, can actually be capable of being serious. Though, you probably shouldn't bet on it.

The Library- Home to many revered tomes, a few of which being: The Importance of Maps, Dark Magic, and Finding Adventure. Oh, and the lady lurking to the left by those bookshelves over there is the librarian.

Weapon Shop- Finally, an online weapon shop accessible from anywhere! (Exclusive items sold through in-store computers.)

Green Haired Guy - Owners of two of the many houses that Ralph can trespass into if he so chooses.

Clueless Man- He never saw it coming.

Even moar screens!!!1!1

Poor kid. You're going to shatter his hopes and dreams.

No doubt about it. You- ahem, I meant, Ralph- is evil.

Gain new life revelations through this wonderfully crafted game!

Recount your life story (the one about event flags and hunches and levels) to every interesting person you meet!

Awesome engineering is awesome.


This FAQ claims no affiliation with the Tour Guide's in any way, state, or fashion.
Q: I'm wandering around with no idea what to do!
A: Look at the map if you're in the First Spring Sector. All the labelled locations have events at them. Otherwise, do as you usually would do- talk to people and perform pointless actions. There's a walkthrough accessible from the top bar, under the title, of this page.

Q: What are these used for?
A: All will be clear... in a future update. Oh, wait, this probably isn't going to update anymore. Ehm... read the guide? You can find it in the top bar of this page.

Q: RGSSE202E.dll is not found?
A: Download the RTP, here

Q: IT'S TOO HARD QAQ I can't kill any of the monsters!
A: 1) that's not really a question, but 2) I'll answer it anyway. I recommend that you get some skills before engaging in combat... Opportunities to learn skills are scattered all over the world.

Q: My question isn't on here?
A: Well, now it is :D ... but seriously, just ask.

Known Bugs and Kinks:

- If you ask Aimee to teach you the dark arts, she gives you a grenade instead of a spellbook. Close enough?


None of the art/sprites/tiles belong to me (except for that beautiful title screen), and were given to me by my friend Google. If you see something of yours here, you may rant justifiably to me and I will credit you ASAP. After I credit you, you may still continue to rant if you so wish, and I will apologize profusely.

Made entirely with RPG Maker VX.

Latest Blog

Version 0.6 FINAL

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the final version, v0.6.

Your story is still unfinished, there are still an infinitely large number of pointless actions not yet done. Until you achieve a "GAME OVER", a quit to the title screen, I advise you to get out of your chair, stretch a bit, eat some food, rummage around in some pantries... as long as they're your own pantries. Otherwise, it'd probably be a crime.

Bonus: For the next week, I will be accepting requests to add cat ears to stuff, and I will be updating this "blog" with a bunch of RTP characters with cat ears. Because why not? There's nothing else to do anyway.

  • Completed
  • mjshi
  • RPG Maker VX
  • Adventure
  • 03/23/2014 02:06 AM
  • 09/27/2015 03:19 AM
  • 06/30/2015
  • 79363
  • 42
  • 1016


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Jack of Most Trades
The 0.6 version is the end of the game!? WHAT THE...!

Well, this game had always been a little nonstandard ;)
(except for the RTP, that's pretty much standard xD)
This game looks funny and fun. I'm subscribing. :)
Jack of Most Trades
Thank you, Rose_Guardian, I'll see if I can update it over Finals week :)
Love it. And i'm going crazy because i want play the full version NOW.
So I have played the new version and I have a few things to say:

-The fact that that I can get unlimitated money for the girl who want's the newspaper asking me to get her the same edition every time, it's on propose?

-I found a bug here, if you go to the house below the house of the newspaper girl, and then you go out, the teleport event puts you in the entrance of another house and you get permanently stuck.

-What is the answer to the body of water question? Because it indeed looks familiar, but for some reason, I can't figure out what it is... :(

Good luck on finishing the game! :)
Jack of Most Trades
-The fact that that I can get unlimitated money for the girl who want's the newspaper asking me to get her the same edition every time, it's on propose?

Nope xD Looks like you found a bug, it's supposed to do something else :/ but stock up on the money when you can, cause I'm updating it to fix it now :3

Second one-- yeah, that's another error on my part- sorry, I really didn't get to fully playtest this version yet (maybe future less thoroughly tested versions should be marked "beta" or something to prevent bugs on a full release >.<)

-What is the answer to the body of water question? Because it indeed looks familiar, but for some reason, I can't figure out what it is... :(

Go to Google Maps and search "Europe" :P

And thank you very much for playing :D
Thanks for the advice! :)

I feel bored. How odd.
I feel like this is the type of games that is completely about cliches. I would definitely play this if my computer was working, but it keeps getting the Blue Screen of Death, so that isn't good.
Jack of Most Trades
@oddRABBIT Hey, look, it's the demon lord xD

And wow, that's not very good o.o It's not the game's fault, I hope? I think there are some let's plays of this game floating around, but for a game like this it's better to see things for yourself, I think.

Although, have you tried a disk reset? You'll lose all your data, but from what you've said, it sounds like your computer is completely unusable right now.
I FINALLY got to finish this game and I liked the ending, it was pretty fun!

Altough I never managed to complete the water body riddle... ;_;

Good luck with your future projects! :)
Jack of Most Trades
Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you very much! As for that riddle, try looking at a map of Europe :)
Wandering? Dark Magic? Stuffing butterflies in my bag and let them die?!

Well count me in! Considering I'm in the mood to download RPG maker games and play them

Hopefully I will end up enjoying this game :P
Just gonna throw it out there, I totally still don't get the lake puzzle despite the Europe hint. I tried typing in about ten different things with multiple capitalizations and I honestly just have no idea. I'm probably missing something, but there it is.

I don't want to get spoiled on anything by watching a lets play for the solution like I normally would, either, because I really like this game so far!
Jack of Most Trades
Does anything on this map look familiar?

Maybe I'm just bad at mapping it xD
AH! I got it now. Yeah, I just never would have thought of that haha. I tried countries and other non-actually-a-body-of-water things. Thank you!
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