• Add Review
  • Subscribe
  • Nominate
  • Submit Media
  • RSS

Psych yourself up for this one.

TAKE AVERAGE RM GAME. REMOVE ALL THAT SUCKS. TAKE COMPLEX STORY AWAY PLAYER TOO DUMB TO UNDERSTAND. REMOVE TRIBUTE TO LAME ANIME SERIES PLAYER HAS NOT SEEN. KILL ALL POKEMON, PURGE WITH CLEANSING FIRE; REPEAT IF NECCESSARY. REMOVE COMPLEX MAGIC SYSTEM THAT MAKE SENSE ONLY ON PAPER. CUTSCENES TOO LONG PLAYER HAVE ADHD; WANT TO KILL THINGS ALREADY. IS ANYTHING LEFT? ONE THING
LEFT; ONLY AWESOME. THIS IS IDEA OF EPIC MONSTER DUNGEON EXPLORE TWO. YOU WILL LIKE.

Graphics: GRAPHICS SUCK. THIS DOES NOT MATTER. YOU WILL TRY TO PLAY EMDE2 WITH MONITOR OFF BUT CANNOT SEE NUMBERZ. YOU WILL IGNORE GRAPHICS, LET MIND FILL IN BLANKS. GRAPHICS ARE NOT POINT OF EMDE2; YOU WILL UNDERSTAND; FOR EVILGOD MUST DIE.

Sound and Music: MUSIC SUCKS. THIS DOES NOT MATTER. YOU WILL NOT BE LISTENING; YOU DO NOT PLAY EMDE2 WITH SOUND ON. YOU TURN SOUND OFF AND LISTEN TO HEAVY METAL. YOU WILL LISTEN TO MEGADETH, SLAYER OR POSSIBLY EARLY METALLICA, AS LOUD AS YOU CAN FOR MAXIMUM AWESOME.

Plot and Story:
PLOT IS SIMPLE. EVEN PLAYER CAN UNDERSTAND.
THERE IS EVILGOD.
EVIL GOD IS NOT KAWAII.
YOU MUST SLAY EVILGOD.

Gameplay: YOU WILL TRY TO SLAY EVILGOD. YOU WILL FAIL. YOU WILL TRY AGAIN TO SLAY EVILGOD. AGAIN YOU WILL FAIL. YOU WILL TRY AGAIN, TAKE DIFFERENT PATH. YOU WILL STILL FAIL. YOU WILL CRY AND RUN TO MOMMY. YOU WILL COME BACK THREE DAYS LATER WITH BOTTLE OF MOUNTAIN DEW, TAKE DIFFERENT CLASSES. YET AGAIN YOU WILL FAIL. YOU WILL NOT QUIT. YOU WILL TRY AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL YOU DO NOT FAIL FOR EVILGOD MUST DIE.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok Seriously: This game is an RPG stripped down as much as possible. That much is obvious even at a glance. What comes as a legitimate surprise is what a sheer joy a game like this can be. Everything is a challenge, every move you make must be carefully planned and every mistake hurts you. EMDE2 plays more as a puzzle game than an RPG as you slowly and painfully figure the best way to advance towards your (perfectly clear) goal. As a counterpoint if every mistake hurts you there is also a great sense of accomplishment as you FINALLY take down one of the bosses and then another one…

In its own small way EMDE2 is blatant rebellion against the latest generation of commercial games that are little more than pretty CGI movies with gameplay thrown in halfheartedly as little more than an afterthought. I doubt that was Craze’s intention but that doesn’t change the fact that EMDE2 is a tremendous and refreshing change of pace from the huge sweeping epics that most RM games wind up trying to be.

This game has two glaring flaws.
-You have to be in exactly the right mood to play a game like that.
-Replay value drops sharply after the first couple play-throughs.

Still none of that changes the sheer gold that is the first time you actually kill the last boss. I love a good sweeping epic as much as anyone but sometimes I want a game that shoves itself down my throat and doesn’t care what I think about it. When those moods hit me I seek out games like EMDE2 because sometimes even the hardest hardcore gamer needs a good change of pace.

DOWNLOAD NOW! EVILGOD DARES YOU!

Posts

Pages: 1
This review would eb better if you didn't add the non-caps bit on the end. ;(
"REMOVE EVERYTHING FROM THE GAME... LEAVE GRAPHICS AND SOUND, BUT THEY SUUUUUCK! WHAT DOES THAT LEAVE YOU? A 5 STAR GAME"

I won't let anyone ever complain about my reviews again.
A five is too high for this game.

Then again, no game on this site is a 5 as far as I am aware.
Oh god I didn't even notice the 5 stars

Wow :X
Craze
i bet she's a diva with a potion popping problem
14360
Five stars is probably about five too many, and calunio's reaction is pretty much spot-on and amusing.

I'm... glad you liked it, though. Go play Saga Mara Talon and die even more often.
''YOU TURN SOUND OFF AND LISTEN TO HEAVY METAL. YOU WILL LISTEN TO MEGADETH, SLAYER OR POSSIBLY EARLY METALLICA, AS LOUD AS YOU CAN FOR MAXIMUM AWESOME.''

Go burn in fire.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7419
Until I skimmed over the second half, I was wondering why this review was even accepted.
Megadeth and Slayer aren't heavy metal, they're thrash metal. Metallica is just shit. I suppose their early stuff is also thrash, but highly repetitive.
Short Version: (I'll write the long version when I'm feeling better.)

The random number generator decided to be my friend and I got the best gaming experience I've had since beating Final Fantasy IV for the first time as a thirteen year old. The review was written while still riding the crest of that experience.

This game makes it clear that it does not like you. In fact it openly mocks and degrades you at every opportunity. Yet here I was riding a lucky streak and kicking its ass.

Under normal circumstances this game is at best a two (maybe a two and a half) but for one good solid hour this was as good as gaming gets.
You're definitely allowed to think this is a 5 star game. You just need to make it clear IN THE REVIEW the reasons why. I understand what you're saying.
Wait, what? This is rated higher than Hero's Realm now?
Craze
i bet she's a diva with a potion popping problem
14360
yeah and it's not made by catmitts so WHAT GIVES
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
6003
The first half of this review is amazing. I don't even know why the second half was tacked on.
Pages: 1