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Disgrace doesn't even begin to describe it!

  • Asalieri
  • 10/17/2008 11:06 PM
So, this time around I decided to pick a game at
random and review it. Enter Suteki, a game whose
Japanese meaning doesn't really fit what you actually
see IN the game.

I am using the term "game" loosely here.

This isn't a game. It isn't even an appropriate demo, because to me, a demo should feature a chunk of what you're gonna end up playing, meaning some of the system, some of the battling, some of the story, even. This "demo" only has you walking around

...as a wierd Two-face-from-Batman-in-silk-clothing type guy. His name? I don't know, but if you press esc, you'll get a good idea of not only what's in store for the future of this game, but an insight on two-face himself;
You're VX's own Ralph the Paladin! Meaning the author did not intend for you to see that. This game is already said to have no battles. If you look at the town, you'll see there's only one possible answer to what kind of a game this is going to be; Softcore Porn. Piss-poor, pointless,
Newgrounds.com-quality softcore porn game. And fellas, if you REALLY want to see the ladies of Final Fantasy in various stages of undress, don't tease yourselves with some inane and sloppily made game; there are plenty of free images online you can peruse without the going through bad game phase.

Now then, back to the game itself; The city of Suteki
is PLASTERED with big breasted asian chicks all over!
The author is obsessed with big hooters.
what is this, some suburb of Las Vegas? And why is everyone squatting, and ethereal?

The screen transitions are bizarre, to the point that
one of the downtown screens leads to some stairs that
suck you in for some wierd reason, and going up and
through a building in THAT screen leads you to some church, where going down the stairs leads you back to downtown...

I sincerely hope the author is going to work on something else with those awesome tiling skills of his.

This game has no potential, no plot, and nowhere to go but softcore. Waste of time.

Things to watch out for if you decide to walk around this
crappily made walkie:

1. Stairs that suck you in
2. Green and red lights.
3. Cars that materialize and wait for you to cross in order to run you over, or dematerialize if the light turns green before you decide to cross.
4. Going into the graveyard and not being able to walk OUT of there.

5. The only VX RTP tiles in the game; at the gravesite of an apparently insane guy who decided he wanted two
overflooded fountains and dragons to protect his casket.
(at least he's now like the rest of this game. Lifeless)

6. The annoying cat sounds everytime you enter a screen with a cat in it.
7. parts where you can float.

This bad soon-to-be-forgotten file promised, in its' description, to not disgrace any Final Fantasy women.
unfortunately it already DID that by featuring Selphie
in what is the only event in a crappy game. Check it
out; you'll know you FINALLY found her when the screen
fades out, and fades in abruptly and you go "I found a victim!" what you won't realize is...you, the player were
the victim.

Suteki? Not even close, people. I only gave it 0.5 because the tiling was welldone.


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Shut up about the RPG. It could be his first game. Also, you think it's a softcore porn game just because you watch too much porn.
Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions about Asalieri, Sora. If it's KAD's first game, then it's getting valuable advice that can be used to make it better, so long as KAD knows how to take criticism the right way.
Uh...did you play the TECH demo? The only demo available? If so, you're really jumping the gun, boyo. Tech demos just show off fancy bits and bobs in games, not preview the game itself. Also, where are all these big breasted Asian girls at? The demo crashed without me able to open it, so I'm going off of screenshots here, but...all breasts look normal and there's at least one black chick.

By the way, you'll apparently get to kill Selphie, among other Final Fantasy (I'm hoping VIII) girls. This game deserves an automatic five stars for that.

By the way, the game takes place in some sort of an alternate Philippines, judging by some of the names being mentioned throughout the game. That includes Makati University, Padi's Club (which is actually Padi's Point).
What the fuck is wrong with you people.

This game is a pile of shit that only serves as fetish fuel.
The review length minimum should be eliminated as far as this game is concerned. tl;dr: pure vomit.
...Fetish fuel? What? And I repeat, this "game" is a tech demo. For God's sake, the words "tech demo" are right there in the title of the download. Might as well based your opinion on a hand full of screenshots.

And I repeat, if I get to kill any of those obnoxious bitches from Final Fantasy VIII, I'm giving this motherfucker five glorious stars.

I so wanna play this game now.
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