author=HikiNeet
The maid that asks for your passport keeps looping her dialogue if you don't have it.

The blonde guy in the starting compartment says your're. Should be you're. Why does the girl next to him get a portrait when everyone else in there doesn't get one? The RPGmaker NPC portraits (guy selling food, the aforementioned girl, and Emily) kind of clash with the art style of the main character.

The maids creep me out. No, it's not their custom? portrait but rather how they move so fast to intercept me. Especially the one in the dining room who stops me from sitting at any of the tables. Their un-capitalized sentences also don't help their case either and they're not the only ones with that issue...

When you choose the sit option at the bag, you just stand there facing the right. This applies at the beginning right when you start the game. Later though, when I gave the brooch to the girl, I came back to sit and I actually did.

You 'pick' your passport. > Should be 'take'.

"I found something on my bag." Why would you tell someone checking for your ID that? It makes it sound like it's not yours; that you stole it.

The whole wrong name on the passport is a bit farfetched to me.

The depth perception of some things is strange. Like you go underneath the red chairs in the soda machine room if you approach them from the bottom. You can also walk right next to the Maid in that room and then walk across the shelves to the right. The red couch booth seats also have that problem if you sit at the bottom of them.

Chef: I don't want back to the cook. > I don't want to go back to cook.

The red-haired guy in the next seat: maybe you re crazy. > There's a space between you and re. Should be you're.

Purple-haired guy in the next seat: I never heard it > I should be I've.
Also, 'second' is cut off.

You should check out all words that use apostrophes ' since words like dont look weird without them. Emily's dialogue and others are noticeably lacking in capitalized sentence starters. Some don't even have punctuation.

Why can you talk to your bag?

When you play a song at the piano, it becomes silent afterwards; the bar song stops playing.

There's no way to tell what you're supposed to do. You just get dumped onto a train, the MC mentions a dream (it would help if his portrait looked like he was just waking up for that bit), and then you just wander around aimlessly talking to random people. It's obvious you give the brooch to Emily but you get no indication of what to do next.

So far, it's not shaping up to be a very good demo as harsh as that sounds but then in a way I suppose a demo is meant to let people find errors and fix things. The MC portrait art is nice though.

author=Ayame0
I tried and tried, but I couldn't even get past the first part... I kept getting caught as soon as I walked into the room. I'll try again later.

Anyway, the grave said I killed all the animals, but I didn't kill the bunny or bat, so therefore it's incorrect.