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If it gets good I'll never know

  • Dragnfly
  • 04/10/2016 01:31 AM
  • 24174 views
Version reviewed: Final English Version per the included README.

TL;DR summary:
Good - Character art, music, double protag system, you can feel the couple's love
Bad - Poor English, many typing errors apart from the poor English, terrible characters, low narrative quality, terrible pacing and direction
End grade: Strongly not recommended. I really feel like I took a bullet for you guys here.

Spoilers below.

Black Winter is about a trucker and his wife getting stranded in the mountains and being invited to spend the night in a spooky castle. Then bad things happen to them, possibly involving a curse.

The English in Black Winter isn't good enough for a passing mark and it frequently breaks the immersion. There are quite a few typos too. Nobody gets to decide where they are born or what language they're raised with but anyone can request help on forums.

I can't review the game's combat, survival or stealth systems because I dropped it before getting to that point but there are major basic design oversights which weren't covered so I'm not holding high hopes for the more complex ones. The game features 8-directional movement but it's not clear what you can and can't walk on. In the dining room you can't even go adjacent to the table but in the cook's room, you can walk on her dresser. Also, this is a very dialogue-heavy experience but there is no text skip or fast-forward. I'd planned to give direct quotes and examples from the game but I'm unable to now because the dev didn't include the bare-bones basics which should come in any dialogue-heavy game. Replaying from New Game to the mine's 2nd level to verify something was annoying enough.

Graphics-wise the character art is a strong point and the sprites look fine. The game is way too dark, though. This is part of the contradictory nature of the game which will be mentioned a lot in the review. While I've been in a castle at night before and it is indeed very dark the dev needs to consider if it impacts Gameplay. Not all exists are even visible. I wandered lost for more than I should have because of an obscured exit that wasn't even supposed to be a secret. While the darkness of the castle may have been an attempt at realism it quickly falls apart since the one place that is always lit in castles are the exits. Contradictions.

There's also a weird faux-campfire-flickering effect at the start. I can't tell if it's buggy or just poorly implemented.

I'll have to break up my critique of the writing/direction into parts because this aspect is like a giant mammoth carcass. As a disclaimer I read visual novels, I play almost every jRPG to release in the west on console and I absolutely freakin LOVE the Metal Gear series. So no, I'm not adverse to sitting through long dialogue scenes.

Direction (scenario) is one of the game's flaws. The person behind the writing just doesn't seem to pick up on how details or lack of details influence one another. You start out in what's apparently supposed to be a blizzard. The wind is howling but the snow is gently drifting downward. They take refuge in a mine which Lily says they have to find, despite standing right in front of it. Similar to the castle at night I have been in a cave in the deep Canadian winter before and while it is better than being outside it only gets warmer when you go much further in. A measly -10C aside (14F as per the thermometer Matt keeps with him for some weird reason) the dev saw fit to make the entrance area look pretty cozy and the deeper area (which should be warmer) is all frozen over. With limited resources, Matt still decides to light 3 campfires all at once for no reason. They hear a noise which Matt says comes from above, but you need to climb down a ladder to get there. Contradictions.

Hopefully, I've made my point in that area at just how massively poor the planning here is. All of that happens before being even a quarter of the way through the intro and it does not end there.

Writing (character logic) is another gigantic flaw. Although the ability to have characters act logically while still respecting the need for gameplay/puzzles/plot is an acquired skill it's a skill every game developer who's writing dialogue should have full control over BEFORE releasing their game. No trucker would run out of gas going TO his destination. No trucker who has been by this area would drive to a location where the whole place hasn't existed for years. Even though their phone gets reception in a cave they don't think to try calling anyone else? Co-workers? Friends? Maybe the building caught fire so they can't answer. While the plot demands that they are stranded here there's a million ways to do that and a truck running out of gas is likely the worst one. Mechanical troubles, an avalanche, a landslide, the truck just getting its tires stuck... These are all equally generic yet far better reasons to strand them in the mountains and better yet they're real problems that happen to real truckers.

Now I have to discuss the biggest flaw, which is the flaw which made me stop playing, delete the game, tell my friends to avoid it and wish the dev better future projects. I'm talking about the characters. Plain and simple Matt and Lily MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE!

Lily is a self-righteous completely untrusting over-opinionated vegan. This is made clear because it's hammered into us often. Lily is so adamantly against additives that, despite longing to have children more than anything else she refuses treatment because it's unnatural. Yet she accepts candy of unknown origin. That's odd, right? Well, this candy also TURNS HER SKIN PURPLE! She should completely freak out, right? But the dev decides it's okay for her to admonish the person who gave it to her and walk it off. Wouldn't turning the colour of a sunburned smurf make somebody who doesn't trust chemicals completely terrified?

From that same scene, we learn that the castle's owner employs a 14-year-old girl as the cook and maid. No prodding is done to learn more about her circumstances. Lily just goes into pitchforks-and-torches mode (which isn't too off for her) and informs Matt. I was expecting Matt to want more info since he's already been shown to consider the angle of a situation. No, Matt goes into pitchforks-and-torches mode too. And Lily tries to stop him from going full pitchforks-and-torches. And that's when we get yet another big contradiction. While snooping around Matt finds an odd 4th-wall-breaking fanart of various maker horror greats. He comments on how Aya (of Mad Father) is okay because she doesn't use her chainsaw on people. This image shows several youths and children with weapons. So Matt loses his rationale over a 14-year-old being employed for an unknown amount in unknown circumstances but is completely okay with all these kids toting a bat, club, gun and lots and lots of knives. The har har wink wink joke of saying you know top-tier maker horror games in their maker horror game did nothing but undermine the scene we just had with their concerns over the cook. Contradictions.

Once I got into the game proper (40 minutes of that terrible writing later) and explored the castle it took no time at all before another contradiction arose. In a bathroom blood suddenly splatters along the floor in a cheap scare attempt. But Matt and Lily have absolutely nothing to say about it. You can't even get dialogue from checking the blood. Upon checking a painting in another room it suddenly turns evil. Again, no reaction from the characters. All throughout the room are candies which they say they shouldn't take without permission... and an item that you take without permission. A much better reason to not take Emma's candies would be because THEY TURNED YOUR WIFE PURPLE! You don't need to be polite after that happens.

At this point, I X'd out of the game and deleted it.

The very lengthy, poorly edited build-up constantly undoes anything good that the dialogues would provide. The few times I thought the characters were saying something good it was shot down in the very next scene or two. I'll give proper credit for the nice character art and how Matt and Lily do seem like a married couple. Sure it boggles the mind how these two ever hooked up or how Matt can stay with somebody like her but real love is like that. Real marriage is often like that. But even with this odd glimmer of hope for the writing, it's seriously not worth it.

The game's biggest flaw is player engagement. Lengthy cutscenes only work when they're emotionally or intelligently engaging. While player engagement doesn't require player interaction (visual novels being fantastic proof of this) without engaging the player physically, emotionally or intellectually the overall experience suffers to the point of being insufferable.

Posts

Porkate42
Goes inactive at least every 2 weeks
1869
- Zero MS
- Reply to infection had the "respect my opinion" mentality
- Short and rushed review
- Review came after this review came out

Dunno man, seems suspicious to me.

Also, you're seriously using the term "hater?" Come on man.
I know for fact it was a fake account since I was the one who had to check the IPs and ban it, and remove the review. So, you know, excuse you.
stiven202
Don't make duplicate accounts in order to review your own game, guys!
473
author=Porkate42
I'm guessing this is your first full-on negative review.

I remember mine, I didn't take it well. I removed my game and abandoned my profile.
Although later I realized that I need to man up and learn to accept criticism, no matter what kind. I came back on and talked with the reviewer, I gave him my thoughts and he gave me some tips.

Guess what, I improved. Sure the review wasn't as harsh as this one, but I still didn't take it well. Fixing an introduction isn't that hard, maybe if you fix it you will get a second chance. It may be tough to take in the harshness, but you just need to accept the criticism, even if it's harsh or "rude."

"Wow Porkate using yourself as an example gosh stroking your ego much?"

I accept the criticism, even recently I upload new version 1.5 of the game and reduce a little of introduction, I fixed grammatical errors that a person suggested me by mail.

I also changed some things for the first scenes so that they were shorter (in the dialogues) :)

My consciousness is clean and I know that I have not done anything wrong.

I will not discuss more, I know my game has things to improve but not as bad as to give him so low notes (even he played just 11% of the game).

Hey, if he had played at least half of the game, i understand. but only 11% ?
InfectionFiles
the world ends in whatever my makerscore currently is
4622
Yes, yes you have done something wrong. You weren't happy with this review so you fabricated a review with a high score. You know how that makes you look?
It's shady and makes us wonder what else you fake.

Like what's the point if all your praise is from yourself?
Oops, exposed.

EDIT: Yeah, stiven202, but you said some beta testers. Exactly how many beta testers do you have altogether? 11% is only acceptable if that's coming from an average play time by all the beta testers. That evidence you showed is but, what, 1 person?

I won't go down into the exact math, but you got to have at least some sense of mean and average.

Either way, now the big issue isn't about this review being bad and all, but about the fake account. If that was truly a duplicate account of yours (and I'm just saying if), then prepare to face the consequences. Duplicate accounts are not allowed on this site. Don't think none of the administrators can't check on that.
pianotm
The TM is for Totally Magical.
32347
Statistical percentages show that 99 percent of all percentages can be manipulated to support 100 percent of anyone's argument.
Some people get through games faster than others. I'd expect a beta tester to take a LOT longer to get through a game than a normal player because they're supposed to be looking for errors in every place they can. Players don't do that and can breeze the fuck on through.

That aside, even if the reviewer played 10% of the game, that's still enough for them to get a general idea as to what the game is like, especially in a longer game. In this case the reviewer gave points as to what didn't make sense and why and did so in a way you should be thankful for. Frankly, they're completely within their rights to write up a review about your game if they played some of it, especially if it was full of enough issues that they stopped them from wanting to play more.


EDIT: If they played an hour of your game that's more than enough time to give a good review on it. FFS, no-one is obligated to play your game through to the end. As someone who has had to judge games based on only an hour of play I'll tell you now - you can tell everything about a game from that first hour. Seriously, I've done this shit professionally - yes, and got fucking paid for it, too. If your game has issues that cause the player to stop after an hour of playing - if the mere thought of having to replay up to a set point is making them want to throw the game in the bin - it has issues and they have a legitimate case for making a review that is 1.5 stars.
InfectionFiles
the world ends in whatever my makerscore currently is
4622
The fact that it took around an hour or so before touching combat and other gameplay systems is a big red flag for a game that isn't a visual novel.
If those are the big selling points then you should definitely get to them faster. You don't have to explain everything in the beginning. Let it be told and explained ad the game goes on. Let the player figure it out.

Idk, I'll try your game soon. Tell you my thoughts then
pianotm
The TM is for Totally Magical.
32347
Goddess, I hate Megadrive...

"Your Windows Explorer downloader isn't good enough for us...WE'RE SPETHIAL! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!"
Obviously the game has problems which need to be fixed... But writing yourself a good review instead of fixing them? With my girlfriend we ran a small forum in the past, unless you live in the same house with that person, there is no way it was not you... I was thinking about writing a review with a score around 3 stars (in my opinion that's the max this game should get in its current state), but now I dont feel like doing it anymore... I am disappointed. :/
Okay, so I'm at the purple lolly part and I'm bored out of my brain so far. It's working great as a way to send me to sleep, but it's only 4pm, and I'm well sick of it already. There's so much bad writing that needs checking (get yourself someone to beta that) and it's just walk and talk and walk some more. I'm already over half an hour in and have yet to do more.


TehGuy
Resident Nonexistence
1827
author=Scalytank
Well, we are 4 hours in the game right now, and I must say it gets quite interesting after the intro.

But as these fellows have said before me, you cannot know what is going on by playing less than an hour.

It doesn't matter if the story picks up and gets good after an hour of slogging through a metaphorical hell when one can just go play something else, you know? You gotta give people somethin to keep them going, to keep them wanting more.

Frankly, I think Dragnfly's little comment about "biting the bullet" for us may have been accurate, at least in my case

And now, as I actually read through everything after typing all this out, I'll probably come to realize I may be wasting my time =3=
I played longer. I wouldn't say the story picks up, but at least the actual playing isn't too bad and there's a little more interest in what's happening but that's a given when the first part is so dull. It's not so much that your writing is bad (well, the technical side needs a lot of work, but the characterisation is decent) it's just that there's a lot of info dump. Cut out anything that doesn't need to be known at that point. For example, talk about her dog being dead could be left until you meet the puppy. There's no real reason to mention it before.

Also, some of it makes no sense. They say they're going to sleep, then they're having food? I thought they were having breakfast and that it was the new day OR that they were different people completely because their clothes had changed into more formal wear (and where did those come from?) and it was just very jarring and weird.

I've yet to be able to use the shooting (I assume you get a gun of some kind later) but what is there so far is pretty standard of an adventure game. It's not the best I've seen but it's far from the worst. I'd recommend making side-doors a bit easier to see, and the lighting is pretty bad - add some grey to the tints and make them lighter. Atmosphere isn't built from darkness all over the place. People need to see where they're going. I was very confused about the lights all being blue when there's actual flames being shown (the camp fire and candles). It's pretty weird.

It's a bit blah so far, but it has some promise. I'd give it a solid 2, myself, but I'm known for being a bit soft when it comes to scoring games. There's a lot that needs working on especially when it comes to the dialogue. The first part of the game has no portraits for Lily and Matt which I think is a bug, and so far there's not much to do but explore and try to find your way around.

I did want to give points for the sound direction, but not the music part of that. There's a lot of silence when it comes to background music which is jarring when it does swoop in. I recognised a fair few sounds from other horror games but at least they're put to good effect. It's one of the better things about the game. The purple face portrait was... pretty bad. I recommend using something like GIMP to make a layer and colour over the skin on that layer then use blend options so it doesn't stick out so badly.
pianotm
The TM is for Totally Magical.
32347
Oh, Liberty, the shooting is terrible. It is literally, point your sprite at the enemy, press the S button, and then it misses more often than hits. Meanwhile, the enemy is constantly on top of you causing damage.
Ouch. That sounds... pretty bad. In that case, I recommend checking out the Pearl ABS script and seeing if you can wrangle that into use. It has some long-distance attacks as part of the system (we used it for arrows in Wolf and Kid) that works well.
author=TehGuy
And now, as I actually read through everything after typing all this out, I'll probably come to realize I may be wasting my time =3=

Exactly... The real problem here is the attitude of the developer... The game has its problems which can be fixed quite easily. Typos can be fixed, dialogues can be edited to make more sense (sometimes just changing few words is enough). But instead he decided to write a review for his own game with a (probably) fake account...
Frogge
I wanna marry ALL the boys!! And Donna is a meanc
18536
This whole arguement is just stupid if you ask me. Stiven, why not just accept it and start improving the game as red nova pointed out?

And since you want one so bad, I'll 100% the game soon and write a review. Maybe you might learn to be a little nicer to some one who took the time to review your game? Seriously, at least you know what some one thinks of your game. That's still better than not getting any reviews or opinions at all.

Oh, and yeah you do not have to 100% a game to review it. And that's a fact. You can atleast try google.

review /rɪˈvjuː/
noun
1.
a formal assessment of something with the intention of instituting change if necessary.
2.
a critical appraisal of a book, play, film, etc. published in a newspaper or magazine.
verb
1.
assess (something) formally with the intention of instituting change if necessary.
2.
write a critical appraisal of (a book, play, film, etc.) for publication in a newspaper or magazine.


preview
ˈpriːvjuː/
noun
1.
an opportunity to view something before it is acquired or becomes generally available.
"I have photos of the goods if anyone would like a preview"
verb
1.
display (a product, film, etc.) before it is made generally available.


I'm sure I do not have to point out which one it is now.
unity
You're magical to me.
12540
author=stiven202
My consciousness is clean and I know that I have not done anything wrong.


Making a sockpuppet account to give your game a good score is pretty wrong, dude.
author=Frogge
And since you want one so bad, I'll 100% the game soon and write a review. Maybe you might learn to be a little nicer to some one who took the time to review your game? Seriously, at least you know what some one thinks of your game. That's still better than not getting any reviews or opinions at all.

The last point there puts the hammer on the head, the same situation if you walked into a meeting with everyone being disgusted that you're late...would you rather if everyone looked at you with disgust (getting reviews/opinions) or everyone looking away from you with disgust (no reviews/opinions).

Additionally, a review is something universal, whether if it is a game, a restaurant or anything that provides a service/product.
stiven202
Don't make duplicate accounts in order to review your own game, guys!
473
author=Liberty
I played longer. I wouldn't say the story picks up, but at least the actual playing isn't too bad and there's a little more interest in what's happening but that's a given when the first part is so dull. It's not so much that your writing is bad (well, the technical side needs a lot of work, but the characterisation is decent) it's just that there's a lot of info dump. Cut out anything that doesn't need to be known at that point. For example, talk about her dog being dead could be left until you meet the puppy. There's no real reason to mention it before.

Also, some of it makes no sense. They say they're going to sleep, then they're having food? I thought they were having breakfast and that it was the new day OR that they were different people completely because their clothes had changed into more formal wear (and where did those come from?) and it was just very jarring and weird.

I've yet to be able to use the shooting (I assume you get a gun of some kind later) but what is there so far is pretty standard of an adventure game. It's not the best I've seen but it's far from the worst. I'd recommend making side-doors a bit easier to see, and the lighting is pretty bad - add some grey to the tints and make them lighter. Atmosphere isn't built from darkness all over the place. People need to see where they're going. I was very confused about the lights all being blue when there's actual flames being shown (the camp fire and candles). It's pretty weird.

It's a bit blah so far, but it has some promise. I'd give it a solid 2, myself, but I'm known for being a bit soft when it comes to scoring games. There's a lot that needs working on especially when it comes to the dialogue. The first part of the game has no portraits for Lily and Matt which I think is a bug, and so far there's not much to do but explore and try to find your way around.

I did want to give points for the sound direction, but not the music part of that. There's a lot of silence when it comes to background music which is jarring when it does swoop in. I recognised a fair few sounds from other horror games but at least they're put to good effect. It's one of the better things about the game. The purple face portrait was... pretty bad. I recommend using something like GIMP to make a layer and colour over the skin on that layer then use blend options so it doesn't stick out so badly.

I don't understand why you criticize the darkness of the game. That darkness helps the game to has a better atmosphere.

It is true that players must know where they are going, for that I put a neon lamp, for use and light up the environment.

Do you have played Amnesia The Dark Descent? It is a very scary game and most of its scenarios are very dark even you having gas lamp. Then will you criticize Amnesia? the game has been very successful and is one of the best rated horro games. The darkness is part of the atmosphere and helps the player feel fear.

If I put bright scenarios, the game would not fear, because the player at all times be able to know that hides in the shadows.

the game has about 5 or 6 beta testers (some youtubers) and other four people who have sent me mail or have contacted me by facebook, all these people has taken more than 6 hours to complete the game.

I appreciate all opinions, criticisms and comments and I apologize if I extend this post more than necessary.
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A few days ago I carried my laptop to university and lent it to several classmates to do some works.

At university we work in groups, and within my group (5 people) I'm the only who has a laptop. (I don't like to take it to class since there's a risk it can be stolen on the way home, but I have to do this to make class tasks in groups).

Some of them know my game and have played it, even many of them know rpg maker web sites I frecuent visit. maybe one of them got my laptop and wrote the review. Tomorrow I go to university I'll talk to them.

I usually enter many web sites from my university on my laptop.
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ok, I accept the criticism and most certainly will improve several things for future projects. I will improve for future projects. :)