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A visual novel with bits of gameplay.

Prologue (Separate download here)
From their classroom, Carter and the other students notice the world outside has stopped. Soon after, a man calling himself Vox greets the class through a speaker. He explains that they are trapped in the school and must earn 20 points to leave.
(Length: About 2 hours, minimal gameplay)

Shine
Robin wakes up in an unknown building with nine strangers and a secret message. While trying to decipher it, they play through a series of games where they must work together - or against each other - to escape.

Meanwhile, Carter and Tristan infiltrate the organization's HQ searching for answers. The truth regarding what happened at school is within their grasp.
(Length: About 5 hours + more interactive segments)

--
This is the first RPG Maker project I've ever created. I wanted to test out my writing abilities and see how good of a story I could tell. Let me know what you think - any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Latest Blog

Shine updates

I have some updates for Shine 1 and 2.

  • Fixed typos in Part 1

  • Finally disabled the menu for 1 and 2 (it was never used/needed)

  • The text and overall pacing of Part 1 is improved. Many of the long pauses between sentences and characters were shortened. It's now more like Part 2.

  • A few lines of dialogue in Part 1 reworded to make more sense and avoid repetition


I'm also considering adding a new download of 1 and 2 combined. My only issue with that I still want to keep the separate versions to keep track of the downloads. It also means anytime there's an update to either game, I would have to reupload both. But it's a thought.
  • Completed
  • 2 of 2 episodes complete
  • Neshiro
  • RPG Maker VX Ace
  • Visual Novel
  • 03/24/2016 10:03 PM
  • 01/25/2022 09:34 PM
  • 02/29/2016
  • 83015
  • 22
  • 2531

Posts

Pages: first 12 next last
shayoko
We do not condone harassing other members by PM.
515
ver 03/27/2016
random thoughts
blue= what i consider important
other=thoughts
how did carter notice what is going on outside and no one else? they were all facing forward and he was at his desk.
unless he noticed after he went to the window. but why did he go to the window?
as the girl next to him said he should be doing work he was behind on.
worse, how is it you can think its a prank? in this case that's not a logical conclusion without leaving the class room
thy could even open the window and talk to them.
still there are so many people at these schools its impossible to imagine everyone just not moving as a prank.

"The college took place in a small town"
^what?
how does a building do something?
it should be a action. Education,studies,meeting

The menu is in Japanese!?
its odd how you have a save spot at your desk when you can free save in the menu

leahs eyes are really creepy o.o

only games and anime can make RPS epic!

but if their processing power is extremely high rather then seeing people appear frozen wouldn't it play out like normal but with more detail?

maybe i am missing something. but a reason in which the students need to play this mafia roleplay game is not presented.
to save the students in class? what danger are they in? why do the winners listen to these people at this point?
even worse there is no reason presented why they should take the game seriously. the mafia members could just tell the other team who they are and end the game immediately.
what purpose do they play for?


there is really large gaps in between saving. like you get out of the class room,get introduced to everyone,watch a video,the fainting scene,get the rules for the next game and even start the game and still have not be able to save.

The moment annas role was revealed was epic!

:O carter died!?game over for the town!

Hahaahah Tacet warns blake that they do not condone any violence when they forcibly drugged college students without their knowledge and forcibly detained them at school...

there are so many issues with how shrine works. but i don't want to go over them all.

so carter and tristian can travel through time? how was carter watching and communicating live with himself and the class?
unless he was watching the review but that still leaves the plot hole of how did they escape to pull this off?
and how did they fool them?

the last save point was way back when you were able to control your character and meet the 2 students

General 2H
This will be short but ill start with saying i enjoyed this experience and found it entertaining.i also want to point out how thankful i am that this game gave me a nice break from battles which plague the community.

however there are plot holes,questionable details and things that are not explained well enough or at all.
i found my immersion being destroyed somewhat often the more i think about the details that are given to me that are supposed to make the story work.
(notes are above)

still the execution of the story was interesting enough to continue with these flaws
and at various points i was surprised how much i was pulled into what was going on.
The game ended as a part 1 o a possible second part might be made in the future.
i would be interested in playing that if/when its released

Overall
Despite my complaints i would recommend giving this a shot.
author=shayoko
ver 03/27/2016
random thoughts
blue= what i consider important
other=thoughts
how did carter notice what is going on outside and no one else? they were all facing forward and he was at his desk.
unless he noticed after he went to the window. but why did he go to the window?
as the girl next to him said he should be doing work he was behind on.
worse, how is it you can think its a prank? in this case that's not a logical conclusion without leaving the class room
thy could even open the window and talk to them.
still there are so many people at these schools its impossible to imagine everyone just not moving as a prank.

"The college took place in a small town"
^what?
how does a building do something?
it should be a action. Education,studies,meeting

The menu is in Japanese!?
its odd how you have a save spot at your desk when you can free save in the menu

leahs eyes are really creepy o.o

only games and anime can make RPS epic!

but if their processing power is extremely high rather then seeing people appear frozen wouldn't it play out like normal but with more detail?

maybe i am missing something. but a reason in which the students need to play this mafia roleplay game is not presented.
to save the students in class? what danger are they in? why do the winners listen to these people at this point?
even worse there is no reason presented why they should take the game seriously. the mafia members could just tell the other team who they are and end the game immediately.
what purpose do they play for?


there is really large gaps in between saving. like you get out of the class room,get introduced to everyone,watch a video,the fainting scene,get the rules for the next game and even start the game and still have not be able to save.

The moment annas role was revealed was epic!

:O carter died!?game over for the town!

Hahaahah Tacet warns blake that they do not condone any violence when they forcibly drugged college students without their knowledge and forcibly detained them at school...

there are so many issues with how shrine works. but i don't want to go over them all.

so carter and tristian can travel through time? how was carter watching and communicating live with himself and the class?
unless he was watching the review but that still leaves the plot hole of how did they escape to pull this off?
and how did they fool them?

the last save point was way back when you were able to control your character and meet the 2 students

General 2H
This will be short but ill start with saying i enjoyed this experience and found it entertaining.i also want to point out how thankful i am that this game gave me a nice break from battles which plague the community.

however there are plot holes,questionable details and things that are not explained well enough or at all.
i found my immersion being destroyed somewhat often the more i think about the details that are given to me that are supposed to make the story work.
(notes are above)

still the execution of the story was interesting enough to continue with these flaws
and at various points i was surprised how much i was pulled into what was going on.
The game ended as a part 1 o a possible second part might be made in the future.
i would be interested in playing that if/when its released

Overall
Despite my complaints i would recommend giving this a shot.


Thanks for your comment, shayoko. To answer your questions:

how did carter notice what is going on outside and no one else? they were all facing forward and he was at his desk
The other students weren't really paying attention. It's hard to convey this with RPG Maker sprites, but you could say they were killing time on their phone, reviewing their homework, etc.

worse, how is it you can think its a prank?
Things like that have happened in real life. You can watch videos on Youtube where people are outside, or in a mall, and suddenly freeze in place. It confuses a lot of people, so I guess you could say Tristan assumed it was that.

but if their processing power is extremely high rather then seeing people appear frozen wouldn't it play out like normal but with more detail?
The effects of Shine didn't make them appear frozen. That was a lie by Lumen. Tacet hinted at this when he said "Shine isn't the reason you are trapped here" to Locke.

maybe i am missing something. but a reason in which the students need to play this mafia roleplay game is not presented.
By the time of the Mafia game, they were all affected by Shine, so you could say they were all on the same "level." They wanted to see how people performed when they were all equal. The earlier games were just seeing how quickly Shine affected them, and if it gave them the good or bad side effects (or both).
the mafia members could just tell the other team who they are and end the game immediately.
They didn't know what would happen to them if they lost, so they wanted to win.

there is really large gaps in between saving.
Yeah, sorry about that. Since it's fairly short, I figured people wouldn't need to save often. I could always add more though.

Hahaahah Tacet warns blake that they do not condone any violence when they forcibly drugged college students without their knowledge and forcibly detained them at school...
True, heh. Although he mainly meant no fighting, or anything that would interrupt the games.

so carter and tristian can travel through time? how was carter watching and communicating live with himself and the class?
unless he was watching the review but that still leaves the plot hole of how did they escape to pull this off?
and how did they fool them?

They didn't travel through time. It just jumped ahead a week and didn't show how they got there. Carter was impersonating Vox, and he was watching a recording of the games. So you could say that the events of Shine had already happened, and Carter pretending to be Vox was in the present. As for how Carter and Tristan were there, they didn't escape. Or what I mean is, they didn't get to the headquarters by escaping the school. I don't want to go into too much detail in case I decide to continue it, but they were there against their will.


Anyway, thanks for playing Shine and I'm glad you enjoyed it despite its flaws. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. As for Part 2, I'd love to make it. I just wanted to see how this game did and if people were interested.
Interesting idea. I think I'll try recording a video on it.

I'll be sure to give my thoughts on it when I'm done.
InfectionFiles
the world ends in whatever my makerscore currently is
4622
Gonna download this and give it a try! Maybe a review :)
Can I ask? Is the game we play at the lounge related to Town of Salem?

Just a question. And the game is great!
R.I.P Brody and Leah!

This game was amazingly written and just overall great!


This better be marked as "horror" or I'm dead. Checking now
@Neshiro

Is it possible for me to see the Mafia Part of the game in the engine itself?

(I don't mean to be rude but I really want to work out how you did the "Mafia Game" thingy! And I want to see how you used autorun events as I can't do it for the life of me!
author=LunaLightMoon
Can I ask? Is the game we play at the lounge related to Town of Salem?

Just a question. And the game is great!


Yes it is! I'm a huge fan of that game, and thought it was fitting for Shine. I made some changes to it though, so it's a little different.

author=RukasuWYZ
@Neshiro

Is it possible for me to see the Mafia Part of the game in the engine itself?


Yeah, you should be able to just open the game in VX Ace.
Although I can't really give your game much criticism since I haven't even made a game myself. (Mostly from my own laziness and my inability of specific skills.) So, if you want to feel free to take my comments with a grain of salt!

I thought this was quite interesting! A bit confusing at parts, but interesting nonetheless! I found myself emerged in the story, and I must admit, it was a neat concept, I only had a few problems with the game and most of it was just my pet peeves talking. (E.g. character expressions, the appearance of maps, passing of time, etc.) I think your story writing was great, though! I did find a few plot holes but still found myself able to continue due to how intriguing your story was.

Other than that, I didn't really have any qualms about it.

Questions:

Do you ever plan on making a part 2? If so, do you plan to make it similar to this one or will the next part add more gameplay? (Regardless if you add more to it or not, I'll probably end up playing it anyways.)

What is the purpose of the Shine? Will we ever find out?

Why was Carter viewing the games while he was in the games? Was it showing him viewing a different set of games a week after his own games? Why did he do it? What was his motive for viewing those games?

They're all on the Shine, right? If that is true, doesn't that mean Tacet is also on the Shine? Otherwise, he'd be unable to communicate with the students because he'd be moving slowly/frozen, wouldn't he? (Sorry for the weird question, just curious.)

author=Neshiro
author=LunaLightMoon
Can I ask? Is the game we play at the lounge related to Town of Salem?

Just a question. And the game is great!
Yes it is! I'm a huge fan of that game, and thought it was fitting for Shine. I made some changes to it though, so it's a little different.

author=RukasuWYZ
@Neshiro

Is it possible for me to see the Mafia Part of the game in the engine itself?


Yeah, you should be able to just open the game in VX Ace.


Thank you!

Also, here are some of my thoughts in the game in general:


Leah did well in Shine RPS too, what happened??!?!
Tristan is a *sshole
The hell is wrong with "Lumen"?!
Upon entering, Rob and Sadie were my favourites
Blake and Anna were cool too.
Simon is a SNEAKY LITTLE GUY
Carter died :P
Anna NOOOOOO
DAY 10:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
DAY 11:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
DAY 12:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
NIGHT 12:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
DAY 13:
ALEX NO
BLAKE NO
NIGHT 13:
ALEX YES
BLAKE YES <3
I know a Rena.
How do you pronounce Loce?
I didn't understand the testing bit...
If they were captured, how was Carter in the
experiment room while being in the classroom?


author=Bobkerfuffle

Glad you enjoyed it!

Do you ever plan on making a part 2? If so, do you plan to make it similar to this one or will the next part add more gameplay?
I'm thinking about it, but I haven't started yet. I know what direction to go with it, but I'm still planning out specific details. If things go well, I'll probably continue. As for more gameplay, it's possible but I'm not sure yet. I usually focus on the story, then add gameplay sections where it seems most fitting.

What is the purpose of the Shine? Will we ever find out?
Hopefully. Shine was developed to help the organization finish their project, so they're connected in a way.

Why was Carter viewing the games while he was in the games? Was it showing him viewing a different set of games a week after his own games? Why did he do it? What was his motive for viewing those games?
Every scene you see at the HQ takes place a week after the school scenes. Carter was impersonating Vox while viewing a recording of the games he was in a week ago. The Vox that ran the games in Room 204 was the real one. You could say the game kept switching between two time periods, or that the games were all a recording being watched from Carters point of view. Carter was there because he needed to steal a copy of the footage.

They're all on the Shine, right? If that is true, doesn't that mean Tacet is also on the Shine? Otherwise, he'd be unable to communicate with the students because he'd be moving slowly/frozen, wouldn't he?
You can say that for now. I had another idea, so maybe I'll explain it if I continue it.


author=RukasuWYZ

Leah did well in Shine RPS too, what happened??!?!
Tristan is a *sshole
The hell is wrong with "Lumen"?!
Upon entering, Rob and Sadie were my favourites
Blake and Anna were cool too.
Simon is a SNEAKY LITTLE GUY
Carter died :P
Anna NOOOOOO
DAY 10:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
DAY 11:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
DAY 12:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
NIGHT 12:
BLAKE NO
ALEX NO
DAY 13:
ALEX NO
BLAKE NO
NIGHT 13:
ALEX YES
BLAKE YES <3
I know a Rena.
How do you pronounce Loce?
I didn't understand the testing bit...
If they were captured, how was Carter in the
experiment room while being in the classroom?


Locke is pronounced "lock."
The testing bit... Are you talking about the testing they mentioned doing on their brains?
And for your last question, view the third answer under my spoiler. Hopefully that clears it up. Thanks!
Just finished watching this. My brain hurts, but in a good way. Kudos on a brilliantly written story.
I played this game complaining the whole time about when I was gonna get to play and come back here to complain in a comment and find out its a visual novel! Wish I had known earlier, but my bad. It's better than the other visual novels I've "played"
I played this game the previous week.
The dialogue was great.
Thank you so much for making this game! I played it for 2 hours straight and I really enjoyed the experience it made me feel. I really loved the Mafia game in the Shine game and it incorporated a good mindset for when I will play Town of Salem! It's a fun version of it. Good job!
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
Spoilers:

• What was Tristam's thoughts behind the first game? Did he want to win points for himself to get out quicker or did he pick a higher number to teach everyone else a lesson? By his own logic, he could've chosen 5 and been out, but he went out of his way to choose a number that wouldn't be enough.

• Does Shine simply make them observe things faster or do they physically move faster? And wouldn't the research team also have to be injected with Shine in order to be able to understand the tests as they happen? Wouldn't they already have to have the proper dosage and knowledge of the side effects in order to run the tests on the drug itself?
author=Corfaisus
Spoilers:

• What was Tristam's thoughts behind the first game? Did he want to win points for himself to get out quicker or did he pick a higher number to teach everyone else a lesson? By his own logic, he could've chosen 5 and been out, but he went out of his way to choose a number that wouldn't be enough.
He just wanted points, but figured someone might go against the plan. When they agreed to choose 1, he figured any betrayer wouldn't go higher than 5, since it wouldn't give enough points. That's why he told them they were greedy.

• Does Shine simply make them observe things faster or do they physically move faster? And wouldn't the research team also have to be injected with Shine in order to be able to understand the tests as they happen? Wouldn't they already have to have the proper dosage and knowledge of the side effects in order to run the tests on the drug itself?
Shine speeds up the brain's processing and enhances its function. However, it does not actually make them faster or affect their perception of time like Lumen stated. That story was all a fabrication. The frozen people are in that state for a different reason (which will be revealed in Part 2.) Lumen just used Shine as an excuse because he didn't want to reveal the actual reason. Near the end, when Tacet tells them Shine is not responsible for trapping them, he was hinting at the other reason.

(Answers inside)
just finished it amazing game. im just waiting for part 2
PLZ RELEASE IT
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