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A good way to kill an hour, if you're bored

  • Healy
  • 01/02/2018 01:01 AM
Mission Whaled is a short comedy RPG about a whale and the people who love them. Its story's aim is to be as dumb as possible. The dialogue is filled with ridiculous non-sequiturs, and much of it isn't even punctuated properly. The graphics and music are unoriginal, made almost entirely with the default RTP. And to top it all off, the characters are mostly forgettable and kind of annoying, with only the priest and Cookie managing to come across as individuals.

Despite this, I still had a lot of fun with Mission Whaled. The battles hit a nice sweet spot between too easy and too hard, with a lot more strategy than you'd expect from a game that's trying to be as stupid as possible, and the touch encounters were well done, letting you skip some battles when you're overwhelmed.

The story manages to be very funny, in an old-school "LOL Random" way, and my only qualm with it is that there were a few cutscenes that dragged on a bit (I'm thinking of the first scene with Dmitri in particular). The mapping is chaotic, messy, and fun, nailing that "post-apocalytpic dystopian world of random" feel the developer was aiming for. I also appreciate how the developer reskinned the stats (they add quite a bit to the game's weirdo mystique), and I enjoyed the handful of secrets scattered throughout the game. (Try examining any pianos you encounter!)

Overall, Mission Whaled isn't a game that's going to blow anyone's mind, and that's fine. It's a game to play when you're bored and strssed and in need of some stupid humor to cheer you up. If you're ever feeling low and in need of a game to take your mind off your troubles, I could think of worse things to play that play Mission Whaled.