Not quite out of body, definitely out of mind.

  • nhubi
  • 05/24/2014 10:40 AM
  • 1591 views
Please note: This is a review for a demo game, therefore opinions of the author are subject to change.


The game starts with the obligatory, what-the-heck moments. A disembodied voice, a dark and anonymous room, weighty dialogue with, as yet, unknown meaning. And then our protagonist wakes up in bed, thinking it was all a dream. Like I said standard fare, but then you get this;


Take that exposition fairy!

Which gave me hope that this was going to be something a little different, and in some ways it is. Whilst you are playing Ray, a servant in the manor house and our main character at the outset, the information provided is disjointed. This is mostly because it's coming from the character's mentally unstable mother, Irene, who is single-minded in her quest for revenge to such a point she's twisted her son into an insecure young man vacillating between resolve and despair. But even disjointed it is still coherent and you get the sense of the madness that drives her, and in turn drives Ray.

Unfortunately half way through this opening section we transfer from Ray to Janelle, one of the serving maids, who is pretty much subjected to an unexplained and badly presented information dump. This is very much a case of tell not show and it is heavy handed and uneven. What's more it includes references to a dialogue that not only have we not seen, but could not actually happen. Such as Janelle stating she's talked to Irene about the newcomer, when Irene has to everyone other than her son, been holed up in her room asleep for the day. This is especially jarring since that same non-existent conversation is then used as justification for the later acts that unfold. It's a major disappointment and could have been shown in any number of ways that didn't feel forced and unnatural.


Once the inevitable happens inside the manor we get to escape and meet up with Irene again who drops a disturbing piece of information, seems she's a bit of a soul sucking witch. Who could have known?


Oh, so that why I could never have a dog, right Mother?


So after that little disquieting revelation we get into the forest and our first battles, with a bit of a twist. Ray has a huge amount of Spell Points, 3000 points to be exact which is 60 times his current HP, but as the game tells you he cannot ever replenish it. It's a reserve with no way to top it up, which though interesting from a strategic viewpoint makes fights a boring button mash. I can't risk using magic, even though I've been conveniently supplied with my first spell. Irrespective of the prodigious amount I have available given the finite nature of this resource I have no idea from a game playing viewpoint just how long Ray's going to need to have it. What bosses are going to come along that are going to need me to hit them with a burst of light in order to survive, what obstacles are going to be placed in my way, what deeds of daring-do am I going to need to perform? Actually given the story so far, what acts of assassination am I going to have to perform is probably more accurate. But no matter the uses I will need for this pool of magic, swatting bees out of the sky appears to be a waste of it, even though I've been given the subtle instruction upon entering the forest that I may have to rely on my light magic to save me.

Nice to know, but I'm just going to stab them in the eye with my sturdy pocket knife if it's all the same to you. Though plus side there are visible monsters, which is a definite win for me, I detest invisible enemies.


No sweetie, the line is "You SHALL not pass!"

Of course eventually I'm going to run across a boss and have to spend some of those precious SP's just to have him king hit me and down into blackness I go...and wake up as someone else.

The game shifts character again and suddenly you are playing as Valoria, daughter of the Lord and apparently charming young woman, but the dichotomy between the two 'main' characters is alarming. If it wasn't for the fact the game page lists only one developer I'd say the two characters and their interactions were written by different people. There is little or no sense of continuity between them, and whilst that is fine in the fact they are two different people, the disparity is so obvious it's almost like you are playing two different games with different dynamics. Ray's story is dark and foreboding with a flawed hero with a dubious moral compass and understandable parental issues. Valoria's appears to be a bit of a fetch quest that begins for no discernible reason. After all if my father were seriously injured I doubt I'd be off gallivanting around the town with a group of somewhat inane and in one case downright annoying characters. Though during the course of the frivolous quests you do get glimpses of a darker and twisted past, which does allow for a limited sense of plot progression. However I found myself longing for a return to the Ray storyline. I have no idea how the developer is going to bring these two story lines together into a consistent whole, without outright destroying Valoria's personality or replacing Ray's entirely.

Or perhaps it's the other way around as this developer appears to have an ongoing love affair with the plot twist.


Ok, crazy little red haired girl. Seriously is everyone in this game mentally unbalanced?


Eventually you manage to get through Valoria's fetch-quest /political intrigue section and transfer back to Ray and ...then the demo ends. Damn.

The music in this game is great. I have no idea if it original or nicked from other games or sources and frankly, I'm not inclined to care that much, (as long as it's not actually stolen or un-credited because that's a no-no). It fits where it is used, business like and no-nonsense as our servants go around their daily chores, haunting and otherworldly whenever Irene enters the frame, atmospheric and melancholy as Ray transverses the gloomily named Forest of Death. It works and adds to the immersion rather than detracts from it, so that is exceedingly well done. Though that really only applies to Ray's journey, once we embark on Valoria's, the music is much less expressive or absent all together. Once again that feeling that this is two different games.

The mapping is fine, nothing jarring or inconsistent that drew me out of the game, and I liked the fact that the manor house looked different, it's someone's home, and individuality should be shown. I also appreciated the fact that the external appeared to match the internal layout, or at least followed the basic plan. I've seen plenty of castles where from the outside it's three storeys high and inside you've marched up 5 flights of stairs to get to the king and there's another flight to the roof.

The dark forest sequence is adequately mapped too, though I would appreciate more boundaries, if you are not going to let the player walk off what appears to be a an unbroken stretch of ground to the East and West, then fill that space with something impenetrable. I did like that as you get nearer and nearer to the eponymous Cole's Gate the terrain becomes more and more haphazard and treacherous, indicating the loss of structure that the artefact causes to great effect. Though I would have thought a bit more of a sere palette could have been applied. If this artefact is indeed leeching the life from the land and animals, then the verdant greens are a little out of place. Green is fine, just not lush green. However since it never appears to stop raining in this forest perhaps the climate is mitigating the loss of life. Once you get into the major 'affected area' the contrast is striking, and the ghost/supernatural versions of earlier enemies you fight is a nice touch and an indication of how much thought the developer has put into fleshing out this threat in particular and the world in general.

All in all the crafted attention to the little things within this game makes me want to continue when the next demo comes out. Luckily it appears the developer is back to working on this at the moment, but the bits that miss are so wide of the mark I just have to hope for an overhaul of some kind or a better connection between the disparate threads before I can download the next version with any hope of lasting enjoyment and immersive game-play.

And I really want that, because Ray is such an interesting character.

Posts

Pages: 1
Thank you for the insightful review and critique! It really helps to know where I am lacking so I can improve as a writer. You aren't half wrong with the fact that the transitioning seemed jarring - i did take a long break between the first demo (which ended when Ray met Cole) and the Valoria part after all. I can't promise I can make massive changes, but I'll certainly try my best to work on the flow!

One of my main themes in the story which I'm trying to cover are the devastating psychological effects of parents pushing their problems onto their children, whether intentional and manipulative or unintentional and passive. This can be seen most clearly through Ray and Irene in the demo, and one of my reasons for letting Valoria leave the house when her father needed her the most (though I do admit it was also partially as a filler to introduce a new character) is to hint at a less-than-perfect relationship between Valoria and her father. And well, I hope that explains why "everyone seems mentally imbalanced" because the four main characters - Ray, Valoria, "Cole" and Tom are all supposed to reinstate this theme, just in different ways. And of course, none of them are perfectly sane or trustworthy at this point. Hope that clears things up.

Again, thanks for the critique and I really enjoyed this review. :)
nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
Glad I could help, and yes the break between writing the sections could explain the lack of flow between them. Could I suggest sitting back and reading through them in one sitting to see how they don't quite mesh and then make changes accordingly. Not a huge overhaul perhaps, but definite tweaks.

In regard to the madness we get from our parents, you've definitely nailed it with the Ray/Irene story, and how he reacts to later revelations are really going to test his ability to bend without breaking (which is one of the things I was looking forward to seeing). In the Valoria/Alben story it's hinted at but the fact that I thought it was jarring that she left her father in his sick-bed when up until that moment she'd been displayed as nothing but kind, gentle and devoted means you didn't get that one quite right. The thing is, if some of the exposition you get during her section had been earlier then it would it would have felt more natural. Perhaps a hint at on-going bad dreams, especially given the fact that servants gossip. It could be a common theme amongst them that for the last three years she has been plagued by nightmares. Given Janelle's seemingly close relationship with her it could easily be her role to mention in passing some of the things she's overhead her mistress say in her sleep when she's gone to wake her up in the morning. Those snippets of conversations could flesh out the disquiet you are aiming for between Valoria and Alben.

Valoria has the potential do be an excellent villain, or more interestingly someone who walks that tightrope and makes it to the other side without falling. She's walking herself through the justification that has been used by countless totalitarian regimes and dictators. That of justifying the assessment of people as useful/useless or in this case worthy of life and worthless of anything but sacrifice. She wants desperately to believe she's as good a person as other perceive and the only way at the moment she can do that is to self-propagandise. She'll have to reach a point where she either accepts the events in which she played a part as wrong and seeks to make amends, or she'll deem them acceptable and go down a darker path. Either could be interesting to play, but from a perspective of the player you really need to sell one or the other fully.

..and it appears I've written comments almost as long as the review. Sorry. Still I'm glad you could take something away from the critique and I do look forward to seeing where this goes. (Though if something really untoward happens to Simon, I'm great with that).
shayoko
We do not condone harassing other members by PM.
515
i disagree on 2 points

1.the mother having a conversation with the maid could of happened actually.
she left her room after that final talk in her room
so between that point and the moment she was caught in the kitchen it could of happened
theres no point of having seen it
we woulnt need to be told 2 times.

2.questioning her choice of doing a fetch quest?with insane people?
neither of them are insane
even her who did something so messed up isnt insane
she had logic behind it...
her reason for helping a little girl???
does she need a reason???
1.shes a little girl
2.she lives alone
3.she is as far as the princess knew a citizen of her country

thus she is obligated to help!
//
i agree with nice mapping
and occasional lack of direction

that aside i really hope this game is still alive i want more! : D
@nhubi: Excellent suggestions! :D Thanks for them. I'll see if I can implement them or an equivalent.

@shayoko: Thanks. :) I think I'll leave the fetch quest as it is, since I don't think it came out of whack, but I'll try to add more foreshadowing as to Valoria's nature.
nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
@shayoko, actually no she couldn't have had the conversation with Irene. Whilst you are in control of Janelle even after she has her conversation with Simon in which the interaction with Irene is mentioned, you can go back and forth to Irene's room and she is still in bed, and has been in bed for all of that time. The unseen time period you mention, with Irene on her way to the kitchen to drug the food is chronologically after the cut-scene with Simon.

In regard to the fetch quest, it's the disparity between the two sections I pointed out, not the fetch quest itself. Fetch quests are a standard trope in RPG's, I expect them, what I didn't expect is the jarring difference. Also I never said that her companions on the fetch quest were insane I said they were inane, it's not a typo it's a different word.

In fact I never used the word insane once in my review.

In regard to Valoria's 'logic' that is her justification for her act, which is as Kirroha pointed out the reason she is psychologically damaged, and she is, she's supposed to be, that's one of the themes Kirroha is trying to portray. I didn't question her helping the little girl, who is obviously the discarded daughter of the mage family, I said the little girl was mentally unbalanced. No one who is planning to see their parents 'churn in hell' can be considered as rational. Justified, probably, rational, no.

@Kirroha, I am glad I could help, they were just off the cuff but I think that a more subtle form of exposition could work wonders for setting up the Valoria/Alben dynamic in the way you want.
shayoko
We do not condone harassing other members by PM.
515
sure she was in her room but that doesnt stop the maid for going there
her room is directly next to hers
overhearing her talking to herself or her son
or checking on her (off screen) while controlling ray is possible.

either way of this was a mistake. its not big enough to ruin the game.
a game never getting a ending or some think happening which contradicts the story as a whole
would ruin it.
/
never has anyone ive seen used that word so o.o
i can still argue that they arent annoying : D
they are full of shiny and sparkley things!
/
as for not questioning helping a little girl
"a fetch quest that begins for no discernible reason"
/meaning
adjective: discernible
able to be discerned; perceptible
^essentially without uneeded rarely used words.
>to understand why something would happen.<
//
but hey a review is for your thoughts on the game not to change others :3
Pages: 1