DUDESOFT'S PROFILE

Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
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"Chill" -Gov'ner Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Poodle Can-Can by NewBlack

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introverts are just assholes who resent having to waste their precious time on other people. Extrovertas are assholes who can't stand being alone and make everyone do what they want
Atom Pulsar and the Rust...
A surreal adventure on a nearly deserted island!

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The RMN Comic Collaboration - Act 3

Here we go, here we go, here we go again! If you are still unfamiliar with Comic Collab, check out this, or this, or that.

Remember, folks.
-You have four days. I'm willing to extend if really necessary.
-Format should be .png
-Dimensions should be 8.5 by 11 inches or 612 by 792 pixels.
-Please post YOUR PAGE in the topic when you are finished so we can keep up with progress!

==================================================================

ART SKILLS NOT REQUIRED (ONLY PREFERRED)

Here's the sign up sheet:
1. Cover by Tardis
2. Nessiah <Complete!>
3. Neok <Complete!>
4. Treeghost <Complete!>
5. Felix20 <Complete!>
6. Nines <Complete!>
7. ldida1 <Complete!>
8. Arcan
9. Rei-
10. AABattery
11. NewBlack
12. Pokemaniac
13. Erilex
14. InvaderZim
15. Sunshinesan
16. Ketsumio
17. ChaosProductions
18. Shinan
19. Dudesoft
20. VideoWizard
21. Lennon
22. SorceressKyrsty
23. Tardis
etc...

------------
Let's try something different, and see what happens! The pages will be linear and posted IN THE TOPIC!
If you can see what's happened, what will happen next?
If this doesn't work, well, can't say we didn't try!

Let's Discuss Comicbook Plots!

This is a non-serious discussion only.
It's for a yet undisclosed reason. However, I would like to discuss comicbook plots.
Let's come up with some really retarded super hero comicbook plot!
This is not like the RMN Chain story or whatever. Instead, let's be vague instead of writing a story line by line.
For example, I say that the hero starts in a bank to withdraw his government check, and the next person says that the line is really long and boring, and the next person says, the hero finally gets to the front of the line and the bank closes because it's 5pm. Etc...

LET'S START THIS STORY!
Our hero gets out of bed and has a sore back from sleeping funny the night before...

Let's Discuss Super Powers!

This is a serious discussion only.
It's for a yet undisclosed reason. However, I would like to discuss Super Powers.
First of all, let's start by listing the BEST and the WORST super powers found in comics, tv, movies, games, or radio. Existing powers in published media
I'll try to keep a list as we go along in this post, and when we have a "good" list done, I'll reveal what this is... Oh, I would like to note: Do not list anything that is all-encompassing. Omnipotent, omnipresent etc... Because those are actually really bad powers (for storytelling. At least unless you want to copy Dr. Manhattan or dig into some deep psychological topics).
So, if there's a power you want to list, first say the power, and then who has it / where it's from, and then describe why it's useful/good or useless/terrible.
Post a picture if you're really into this!

For example:
Long Tongue
See: Sugar Man
-This is a bad power because, unless you're striving for a life in Porno... you really have no practical use in a hero or villain situation.


Healing Factor
See: Claire Bennet
-This is a great power because, you can heal from any wound! There's no killing the unkillable. Usually means you get long life, or immortality too? Pretty sweet!



THE LIST
the good
-Healing Factor
-Anatomical Liberation
-Shapeshifting
-Matter Ingestion
-Creation
-Mind Control
-Super Speed
-Integrated Armory
-Energy Perception
-Fire Manipulation
-Super Strength

the bad
-Prehensile Tongue
-Narcoleptic Teleportation
-X-Ray Vision
-Web Creation
-Telescopic Legs
-Animal Manipulation
-Fire Mimicry
-The Power of Heart!

Request Time! Team-Captin 2056!

Well, it's that time of year, RMN! The time when you ask for it, and I draw it.
No limits this time... Except that it must fit the Captin brand Universe! So don't ask me to draw your favorite anime character; be original!

If you're new here or unfamiliar with this, it's pretty simple. You ask for a character and I draw it. Team-Captin Universe is bursting at the seams with heroes and villains. Aliens and monsters. Pirates and ninja. You name it! See: Http://slaymanexe.deviantart.com/ for 'Team-Captin' reference.

I'm overly comfortable with the population of the Current Timeline of Team-Captin home world Terra. Let's look at the future this time! Yeah, this is so far in the future that cybernetics and space travel are incredibly advanced and commonplace. Very Utopian disguising a distopia.
So without further boring ass text: let's go!

1. Name (birth name, alien or earth-like)
2. Superhero or Villain alias (put --- if you don't want one)
3. Power (Everyone is born with a power. Some, very few, are born without an active power, but they do have a latent power lurking untapped within)
4. Appearance (what you look like/ wearing)
5. Age
6. Sex (m/f/robot)
7. Augmentation (any cybernetic enhancements, or robotic alterations. If none, post ---)
8. Hero or Villain (in the Team-Captin universe, this is Captin or Villin)

Dungeons and Drag-Queens

I've always wanted to play D&D but I have no interest in buying and learning rulebooks. So instead I just made up my own easier to play (and hilarious to play) version called Dungeons and Drag-Queens.
Basically there are rules associated with each of the different dice type. You only need a single set of dice, and a coin with two different faces. There are no stats. It's kind of Willie- nillie in that respect. You have limbs and more natural wounds to get instead of HP also.
After that it's entirely up to the DM (Drag-Master) to guide players through the lawless lands. It is fantasy-ish without caring much about details. I could prattle on about what it is, or I could just post session one. We had a lot of fun, and I plan to draw maps for every place we visit in the Queendom of Rumpturnip until we leave for other lands.
The Rules
Everything you need to know about being a Drag-Master of Dungeons and Drag-Queens!
By: J.S. Longstreet

Rules
-------
6 sided die = Luck
-1 is Lucky
-2 is Chance
-3 is Slim Chance
-4 is Nothing happens
-5 is Bad Luck, roll for Damage
-6 is Epic Fail, roll for Damage
-------
4 sided die is Damage
-1 lose a limb/appendage
-2 cut/bruise
-3 scrape
-4 nothing
-------
Coin is Upper/Lower
-1 or Heads is Upper
-2 or Tails is Lower
--------
8 sided die is Enemy Attack
--------
10 sided die is Player Attack
--------
20 sided die is #
-multiply with Luck modifier
-if need to roll damage, use damage roll to divid final # after Luck multiply.
-------
All dice rules loosely apply to absolutely any situation. Entirely up to the DM, though. Whatever is funniest.
-------
Health is non-existent. Instead, consider each wound as if it were real, even if getting it is not entirely plausible.
-------
Use your imagination when Drag-Mastering. You will need a healthy imagination or a lot of weed to DM. D&D-Q DMing requires a mandatory "no planning" mentality. You are required to improvise. This is the golden rule.

(pardon spelling and punctuation, we did this by texting)

Session 1 - Lee Baker (Caminator18)

D&D-Q Round 1
Drag-Master:
Ok you start in a seedy tavern on the outskirts of Trioville, the only place in town that is desperate enough to accept your ugly woodchip Ferngullythemovian currency.
It is dark in the tavern. They only can afford on oil lamp and it is near the bar. You have just come down the stairs from your disgusting room for a drink and a meal, it has been a long walk from Ferngullythemovie. What do you do?

Lee Baker:
Walk over to the bar and sit down.

DM:
The bartender is a sinister looking man and he spits into a mug before rubbing it with a dirty cloth he found on the floor. He grunts at you as if asking acknowledging your existence and the probability you will want something from him. The other barscum sit hovered over their misery.

Lee: 
Call the bartender over and ask what the specials are.

DM:
The bartender sighs and shuffles closer with his unibrow lowered over confused and angry eyes. "Mead." he says in a guttery tone. "and also Mead."

Lee:
"hmm. Guess i'll take a mug of mead then"

DM:
The bartender grunts again, turns and fills the glass he was just taking care of with mead from a large barrel.
The mead is slammed so hard on the counter before you, foam splatters everywhere.
You try to avoid the mead getting on your shirt, trip and fall off your stool. You land on your left buttcheek and gain a small bruise. The bartender returns to his usual spot. Someone beside you peeks in your direction and asks if you are alright.

Lee:
Is that someone male or female?

DM:
Cloaked and hard to tell, but sounds male.

Lee:
Reply "i'm fine, thanks." get back up and sit back down on the stool

DM:
The stranger gives a small chuckle, "old Charlie is rude of late, heard praytelllove that he flunked outta rehab in foreigner parts."

Lee:
Say "RUDE! You want to see rude?!" then bash him over the head with the blunt end of my axe. Lol, just kidding. Say "who are you?"

DM:
The stranger pulls the drink under the hood covering any form of identity and takes a long drink. Finally after clearing the foam from hidden lips the stranger says, " my name is Stranger Von Hiddenface. And yourself, traveller? You do not appear of these parts."

Lee:
Burst out laughing and say "Stranger von hiddenface? That's the dumbest name i've ever heard!"

DM:
The hidden face of Von Hiddenface pauses briefly to peer towards you. Hidden eyes glint even in the darkness. "would you prefer to call me by some other name, nameless one?" Stranger growls.

Lee:
"sure, how about bob?"

DM:
Bob sneered at the common NPC name. "Very well. My name is Bob. Shall I call you Danny?"

Lee:
Danny? F$&@ no! My name is Lee

DM:
"lee..." Bob rolled the name around his mouth. "lee... I have only heard of one Lee in my travels." Bob's eyes glinted again. "would that be Lee Baker?"

Lee:
Uh......yes?

DM:
"of the Baker house? In Onesville?! Reginad Baker's boy?!" at this point Bob was on his feet screaming in hysterics. "who was raised to be the bakers son who will never bake and eventually left for Ferngullythemovie?!!?!??!"

Lee:
Uh. What the f$&@? How do you know so much about me?

DM:
Bob stopped and leaned forward. He was so worked up and his nose was full of snot from having a cold, that he was weezing when he breathed. The lifeless face of Bob raised a black leather gloved hand and announced in a hoarse voice (from the excited yelling) "Lee... I knew your Father."

Bob has to sneeze, roll a 6 sided die if he sneezes on you

Bob sneezes and turns just in time you might have got a few spray droplets on your sleeve but it does not affect you
 "sorry," he says

Lee: 
Dude, gross! Use a tissue next time!

DM:
Bob wipes a snot trail up his sleeve and takes a seat. "I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Guess that's why you came back from Ferngullythemovie."

Lee:
Wait...what about my dad?

DM:
"oh, just that he died of the drag-plague," bob says conversationally before talking a long noisy sip of his filthy mead

Lee:
HE'S DEAD?!

DM:
"Oh yes. Lincoln Sackfiller in Tuesdayville was telling me near the end he had more holes and rips in his flesh eaten skin than a honeycomb. I think he wheezes your name or something. I forget to be honest. I was so fascinated that the Sackfiller family could reproduce at this point, given how inbred Tuesdayville is. "

Lee:
Huh..well you're right about Tuesdayville. How long has he been dead?

DM:
"I guess it was a few weeks now since then." Bob wipes the foamy mead from his mouth on the same sleeve as his snot.

Lee:
Huh, guess i should head up there to visit my ma then. She must be devastated

DM:
Bob sounded surprised when he said,"now? It's the middle of the night!"

Lee:
No, not now you nitwit. I'll have to try and find a merchant train that's headed up that way that's willing to hire me on

DM:
"oh..." says bob, sounding disappointed. "well... Have a sweet dream tonight...................." Bob lingers a moment, his eyes glinted and he stands to leave.

Lee:
*sigh* would you like to join me?

DM:
Bob's eyes glitter at this point and he punches the air. "You won't regret this!" he says before spinning, causing his cloak to billow... Well, it would have billowed if it wasn't so chunky with boogers, filth and mud.
Clenching his fists, bob declares, "In the darkest hour, all light will burn the brighter." at this point, Bob vanishes into your party, an unseen pocket dimension.
The Bartender tells you that you owe for Bob's tab 

Lee:
What the f$&@? How much?

DM:
The barkeeper says you owe $36 but he's willing to cut you a deal since you got rid of that smelly guy

Lee:
Lol. Offer him 15.

DM:
He says $20.

DM:
Deal. Hand over the most crumpled, dirty 20 dollar bill i have
Having squared off your acquired tab, you are still thirsty, hungry and now even more tired.

Lee: 
Head up to my room to see if i can find any food among my provisions

DM:
The room is pitiful. A slumped mass of dribbles is the only candle to light the area. The bed folds into the wall, and resting on a side table, the rooms only furniture, is your travel pack.

Lee:
Rummage through my pack to check for food

DM:
You find a raccoon. It has eaten all your Ferngullythemovie crackers and cheese. The raccoon is afraid and leaps at your face. 
The raccoon hits your face and stuns you slightly. It lands on the floor ready to leap at your face again. What do you do?

Lee:
Swing my axe at it

DM:
You miss the raccoon and yourself lucky but the axe scrapes the floor
The raccoon attacks your face again.
The raccoon cuts your face with it's teeth and claws there are now 8 bite and claw marks on your face.

Lee:
Swing my axe at it again

DM:
You cut the raccoon this time, chopping it's left front foot off
The raccoon is scrambling and about to run away

Lee:
Hells yes i did. Pick up the foot to make into a lucky charm later
Give the raccoon a nice swift kick in the ass on it's way out

DM:
You swing and miss. The raccoon is too fast. You swung so hard you fall and twist your right ankle so hard and fast it rips off. An eye for an eye, the raccoon thinks, and leaves

Lee:
What the f? Pick up the foot to make an unlucky charm later

DM:
With this ordeal finished with you are bleeding out quickly.

Lee: 
Remove my belt and cinch it around my right leg just above the stump

DM:
Having lost enough blood, and now mended temporarily you pass out in a pool of blood

<END SCENE>

NFL Super Bowl XLV

SUPER BOWL XLV IS HERE!

Some of you may not give a crap about American football... Heck I don't even! But when it comes to the big games, like Super Bowl, Stanley Cup, The World Series... Those big finales, those are fun to watch even if you don't care about the sport. It's like watching Olympics. No one cares how many horizontal polls someone can twirl on... But when it's the best doing their best, that kicks butt.

Every year I hang with my dad to watch Superbowl and eat chicken wings. Sadly this year, I'm halfway across the country, so I'm bringing my chicken wings here!

Anyone else checking this game out? Should be a good one!
Green Bay Packers vs the Pittsburgh Steelers!
If you don't care/know... The Packers have 3 Super Bowls rings, and the Steelers have 6!
Regardless of how these teams got this far, that history is pretty indicative of a great game.

PLACE YOUR BETS!

The Yule Log by J.S. Longstreet (Dudesoft's Christmas Story 2010)

The Yule Log by J.S. Longstreet



“Hi there. I'm movie star, Christopher Walken. You may remember me from such festive instruction videos as Help! I'm the Easter Bunny! or Why Am I a Fourth of July Fireworks Display? or Oy vey! I Lit the Hanukkiya! I'm here to tell you, today, how to be...” the man on the screen held up a jolly red suit, “Santa Claus. We'll take you through the three step program of Ho, Ho, and Ho. Three ho's you see. Because that's how Santa would laugh.”

The man, who very well could have been Christopher Walken, walked across the screen to a bench where a toy-making elf was happily at work. The elf paused to blanch when Christopher Walken patted him too firmly on the head.

“What we have here, is what we call an ‘elf'. Funny little things aren't they? These little rascals are what make Christmas work, you see. So you gotta show some respect.” Christopher Walken looked pointedly at the elf. “Hey pal. You're doing a great job - keep it up.” Without blinking, the instruction video host sauntered towards the camera. “Now you may be wondering, ‘Hey, who is this man, this Christopher Walken man, and why is he talking about Christmas and elves?' To you, I have to apologize because clearly my announcer has not preformed his job properly. You have been chosen to help spread cheer and presents to all the little boys and girls of the world.”

The host paused. “Of course, you are wondering, ‘Isn't that old Saint Nick's job?' In a way, you are right. There is a jolly fat man, with the rosy cheeks, and that magic nose. Sure, he's up there. But, he's a busy man! He's got lists to check - twice, no less. He's got gifts to help wrap, elves to train, reindeer to feed, and a wife - oh, don't get me started on the Mrs.” Christopher Walken gave a short chuckle and resumed, “Sadly though, you see, the world is just too big now for one chubby fellah' to zip around delivering presents all night. It's impossible in fact.”

Christopher Walken stepped leisurely through to the next room where elves were busy as bees overseeing several high-tech control panels. Red and green lights were illuminating across the board, and busy elf fingers were tapping away at them.

“Here we have the first Ho. HO-mebase. From here, the elves indicate where the presents will be delivered and act as your go-to guides on which houses should be infiltrated.”

Leaning just off screen to where a barely visible set of hands passed him something, Walken retrieved a yule log.

“This yule log is nothing fancy, sure, it even tastes great.” Dipping his finger and taking a taste, Christopher Walken maintained his gaze with the camera while saying, “Yum.” Followed by tossing the yule log off screen again. As Christopher Walken continued to wander through to the next room, he said, "The marvelous thing about Yule logs we'll cover later, however, they do act as beacons for the little elves back there. So keep your Yule logs safe."

Adorning the next room gifts were literally hanging off the ceiling. On closer examination, one would notice they were slowly leaving the room too. "What we have here is the export area. As you can see, our elf friends here hang these presents on tiny hooks to be carried into the next area. Clever little devils aren't they?"

Bending over to ruffle one of the workers' hair, Christopher Walken received a bitter leer. "Just look at their pointy little ears! Hilarious."

Standing up to look around, Walken resumed, "This export area is controlled by the HO-mebase, and as you can see over here... The little helpers have screens dictating which gift line to hook into."

Walking briskly into yet another room, this one filled with racks of goods to ship, the host paused at what appeared to be a large vaccum hose connected to a furnace.

"Now we come to the money maker! That is to say if these little saints ever accepted an income, which they do not. Can you imagine? Anyhow, this is our second HO... Behold," Christopher Walken made a flourish with his hands, "The HO-lohedral! There's tons of these babies around Santa's workshop. Each one is connected to a Yule log."

Appearing to be half-surprised, Christopher Walken found a small table with milk and cookies. Sitting down, he helped himself to a chocolate chip treat. "Mmm! Oh, the taste... Outstanding! You've really out done yourself this time, Tippy."

A nearby elf scowled as Christopher Walken noisily enjoyed the last of his cookies and left the room. The elf, assumibly Tippy, threw his hat on the ground when the host had left.

“Finally,” Christopher Walken said, while taking a seat in a rustic armchair, “We reach the final HO. There was brief mention of the Yule log, and as you may guess, is the link to your HO-lster. Some people might call this a bag or sack... However, we at the North Pole call it a HO-lster. This is where you'll keep all the gifts sent from HO-lohedral to your Yule Log. It's really that simple. Strapped to the golden rope of that tightens your HO-lster closed, is a NNL - Or, if you're like me and prefer a simpler term, ‘Naughty or Nice List'. The NNL is a lot like one of those newfangled iPals or iCells or whatever they call ‘em.”
Holding up his own NNL, Christopher Walken tapped the screen and a list appeared. “Simply press the screen any-which-where, and the list will appear. It comes with a built in GPS, Nice Tracking System, and internal clock. Technology, right? It changes our lives.”



Suddenly the video tape was paused. A short man with pointy ears and a smart black suit, glared across the class room full of hung-over drunks, each of whom held a miserable expression of bafflement and desire to leave.

The little, well tailored man spoke in a high-pitched, child-like voice. “You degenerates have been selected, as you are so far down the Naughty List, that Santa has decided to give you this one opportunity to redeem yourself. You may choose to follow this video's advice, or you may slither back into your bar, tavern or pub. Or, in your case,” the little man looked pointedly at a particularly haggard fellow in the class room. “The back alley of Sneaky Dee's.”

There was a slow murmur arising from the crowd, mostly agreeable to this idea. Rather than this nonsense about Christmas and Ho's. Well, maybe the Ho idea was alright, given another vowel.

The hubbub was sliced into silence as a rather tall, perhaps 6' 11'', appeared to be suddenly standing on the other side of the television trolley. The newcomer leaned on the television with ease, wearing a silky black suit, and black hoodie. There was a small hour glass flipping between his fingers like a coin.

“It's gonna be a coooool winter,” said the newcomer with a voice so cold, it made glaciers seem like ice cubes.

“As, my acquaintance narrowly explained,” the little man said. “This situation is rather ‘Do or Die'. You have been that Naughty.”

Another hubbub arose up as the men began to find themselves trapped, angry, and craving Asprin. Yet, it was silenced again by that father of all cold voices again. “Not a hard choice really. In fact, if you wanted to skip the middle phase, I'll gladly take your souls now.” Suddenly, there was a scythe in the newcomers hands. “No takers? Hmm... Never is. Always a pity...”
“Very well. We shall continue reviewing the video, and I will take any questions near the end. We will also distribute Santa suits, HO-lsters and their NNLs. Thank you.” The little man reached above his head to hit ‘play' on the VCR.



Right where they had left him smiling into the camera, with flickering static of VHS cassettes everywhere, Christopher Walken continued by jumping to his feet and crossing to the next set stage.

“Ah, let's move along, shall we?” he asked rhetorically. “Now, this room is our simulation. As you can see here, it is a classical living room. Fireplace, stockings hung - with care, of course - a magnificent Christmas tree, and wow!” Christopher Walken threw his arms out in the air, as if unsure what would happen next, “It's Rudolph! Rudolph everyone, the Red-Nosed bastard we all sing about!”

Sure enough, as the camera panned, a reindeer with a clown nose on was looking impatiently at the wall.

“Sing us a song, Ruddy!” said Christopher Walken.

The camera zoomed in minutely to the reindeer's face. The bored creature peered just off screen for a moment before returning its gaze to the wall, and finally biting at an itch on its shoulder. Quickly, the camera man returned to Christopher Walken, who was rooting through the stockings.
“Ah, socks? Who gives socks?” Looking back to the audience, Walken resumed as usual. “This household is not standard, especially in the cities, where you're about as likely to find candy raindrops as you are chimneys. So, to that, we turn to the future. It seems our little elves are one step ahead of NASA, and by the power invested in flying reindeer, have already toured the galaxy. Yeah, I know. Scary, too much information, however you will put it. Yet, that's how it is. Thanks to the Tyuals of the Andromeda galaxy, we have teleportation technology. It's Christmas Magic to you, and the little childrens.”



The little man paused the video again, to calm down the bewildered crowd of groggy men. First it's a free shower, then some sort of Santa something or other, and now aliens? What kind of joke was this?

“Please, calm down, I shall answer any questions at the end of the video,” the little man pleaded. It was hopeless. The Santa candidates were getting restless and upset. Not only was this ridiculous, their lives were being threatened by some punk in a hoodie. Against his better judgement, the little man reached into his pocket and produced a short string of silver tinsel. Only a few of the men noticed this. The rest were unprepared for what happened next. A silver flash of lightning, followed by the bang of seven New Year Party Poppers flooded the room.

The man in the hoodie hunched a bit rubbing the sides of his head. “Could have warned me, at least...”
“Sorry, it's just... why we get dragged through the mud for this, is just cruel.” The little man noticed many eyes on him. “Ah, good. On with the video!”



“Naturally, teleporting into someones house and delivering presents is all well and good, but how do you know what to take out of your HO-lster?” Christopher Walken's recorded self pressed on. “That, is an interesting question - and I'm glad I asked it. You will be assigned a mall, and a transmogrified elf as your helper in this task. There, children will line up to sit on your lap all month, for the chance to ask for presents. Along the sideline, your human-formed elf will enter the necessary data into the HO-mebase network via your NNL. That's about as technical as it gets, for your sake I'm sure.”

Christopher Walkens relaxed on a festive patterned sofa, amidst many pillows. “That's your job at first, the Mall Santa. You see them everywhere. Some people like to tell their kids that it's the real Santa, sometimes those people are right. Mostly though, it's people like you. So far down the Naughty List, they've got nowhere to run. That's alright though, you're about to become Santa Claus. Santa Claus, the jolly fugly fellah. That's you. In essence.”

“When all is said and done, Christmas Eve will come quicker than you could imagine. Then the real fun begins. Your elf helper will assist in teleporting you to your assigned homes in the mall area; Where, as you can imagine, it will be your job to lay out presents, stuff stockings, and eat lots of delicious cookies with milk.” Christopher Walken shrugged expansively. “At the end of the night, you're a free man again. Go back to your bars or whatever it is you crawled out of, and sink back into the same pit so we know where to find you next year.”

Prying himself free of the pillows and sofa, Christopher made his way to the fireplace. Resting against the mantle, and picking up a Christmas card, Walken paused a moment to reflect. “Finally, before we finish here, there is the Yule Log. Funny little thing, remember it? These ones are made with chocolate, and baked with magic. Just imagine how much flour they needed. It blows my mind. Seriously. My mind - Blown.”

Another pair of hands, or perhaps the same hands, handed Christopher Walken another Yule log. This one, he set in the fireplace, which was empty.

“If your house does not have a fireplace, don't worry. Just... I guess, open a window. If you don't have a window... Well, I don't know what you'll do honestly. You're kind of screwed, maybe? Anyhow, let's light this sucker on fire.” Christopher Walken produced a matchbox from his pocket and struck a match. “The trick with these magic Yule logs, is to avoid being singed. They tend to light up pretty quick.”

As an example, Walken held the candle to his log, and it set ablaze in seconds.

“Yeowch! That's one hot cake. Look out!” Christopher Walken waggled his eyebrows at the camera, though probably not on purpose. “So, as you remember, the NNL directs the HO-mebase with gift directions. The HO-mebase co-ordinates that information for the export system, and the HO-lohedral sucks up presents to magically send them to...?”

Christopher Walken looked largely expectant at the camera, and rewound after a second to his usual expression(s). “The Yule log! The Yule log! Of course, it's this Yule log! So, the gifts come popping out of this mess, and you put them into your HO-lser. Got it? Simple! HO, HO, and HO!”

Just then a large fat man who appeared wearing a red suit, on camera. “Did someone say, ‘Ho, Ho, Ho?” the man asked, in a practiced sort-of-voice.

Fake surprise sprang all over Christopher Walken's face. “S-Santa. Ladies and gentlemen, It's Santa the Claus! How about that!”

“Ho, ho, ho!” the big man laughed. “Just checked my Naughty List, Christopher, and it looks like you're one notch higher towards the Nice List.”

“Gee Whiz! Golly that's swell. Just swell. Listen, Santa. I have a huge favour to ask...”

“Oh, what could that be, my lad?”

“Could we sing a Christmas carol for the folks watching? I think it would really lift their spirits!”

Santa Claus considered this, in a way that conveyed he had practiced how to look like he was considering something. “Yes... I do believe this is a good idea.”

“Great. Hit it, gang!” Christopher Walken called. The effect of which, caused the set to change. Walls shifted around them until the pair of them were standing in the middle of a Broadway musical number. Someone started singing ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town', however the video was quickly turned off.

The little man in black suit sniffed. “Enough of that. I've heard it a million times...”

“You'd think they could re-film it or something,” said the tall man in the black hoodie.
“Yeah... Well.” Turning to audience of stupefied drunkards, the little man cleared his throat. “Er, any questions?”



The End



[EVENT] Chain Game - RMN Style!

The RMN Chain Game
Where Real Men Chain Together

Gamepage is HERE.

So this EVENT will be a pretty lengthy endeavor. Basically, we will be EXPECTING to take months on this.
Together, we will build a game, each of us taking turns to add a new segment. The project folder including the entire RMN Chain Game will be passed from one person to the next.

We can openly discuss what we are working on with each other, so that we all have ample time to vaguely plan our segments. However, it might be best to -not- jump the gun and work on your project maps before your turn, because you will likely not know what you're following!

At any rate, enough talk. Here is how it's going down:

Each person will make a Chapter in the overall game.
-This can last from 30 minutes of gameplay to an hour. There's no firm rule on play length, but it shouldn't be too long really. Don't out-do yourself, and make sure it's easily playable.

Each Chapter will have an Artifact to find
-The underlying goal of the game is to gather the Artifacts so you can stop the Evil Dude At The End Cave (Edatec!)
-The Artifacts will be assigned to you, along with your project, and the rest of the Chapter is entirely up to you.

Each turn will take up to 2 weeks
-You will have 2 weeks to plan, map, build, event, and most importantly TEST, your Chapter.
-Make sure you TEST TEST TEST your Chapter, and do not (please and thank you) meddle in any one else's Chapters.
-Each Chapter will be in a drop-down map menu (you probably know how RPGMaker map lists work by now)

The Chain Game will be made in RPG Maker 2003
-This is by popular vote in the other topic. Everyone knows how RM2k3 works, and if not, it is by far one of the easiest to pick up and create with.

Database is opensource.
-Everyone can add to the Database...
-NO ONE CAN DELETE FROM THE DATABASE.
-Keep in mind the database might affect the other Chapters, so you cannot take anything out or change what is already there.
-You can use items from other Chapters if they suit your Chapter... but probably best to leave switches and variables ALONE.

Graphics will be Akropolis
-You may want to fiddle with these chipsets prior to your Chapter turn, just to familiarize yourself with them.
(Just a suggestion)

Music is opensource
-You may add music
-You may NOT delete music
-Please use small file sizes or Midi tracks, that way our game won't inflate to a whale of undownloadable proportions.

Characters are opensource
-Everyone may add ONE character to the main cast per Chapter. With this character you may fiddle with the battle events / enemy groups...
-Do NOT fiddle with previous chapter monsters/battle events... Just add more to be used in your Chapter. This is a little tricky, and we can discuss this as it comes into play.

Switches / Variables are add only
-Like noted above, you can only add new switches or variables. Don't try to re-use other ones...

-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Maker List
Main Spriter: DE
This is the turn list.
1. Deckiller (He'll Jack Bauer you!)
2. Lennon (He'll stare at you from the corner of his eye!)
3. JosephSeraph (He'll rip out your throat and piss down your neck!)
4. Desmo360 (He'll do!)
5. Ginseng_Tea (Look out, you're about to get STEEPED!)
6. ldida1 (Welp!)
7. Liberty (You can't have enough Liberty. Come get some!!!)
8. Tardis (he'll mutton your chops)
9. NewBlack (he's new and black)
10. GreatRedSpirit/Dudesoft (One of these things is not like the other!)
(more slots to be added as people claim them)
*NOTE! Each slot has 2 weeks exactly to finish the game. It will not be passed on until AFTER 2 weeks is up... then the next person will get it. So only request a timeslot that works for your life. If you are in school, don't claim a slot that happens during exams or tests! Do yourself that favour. :)

Due to the increased number of helpers, this needed to be added!

Support Crew
-DE
-Liberty
-JosephSeraph
-s_w

Chain Game?

Hey gang, what would you say to a chain-game? We already have Azn's chain comics, why not a game?
Any interest in this? If so, I'll sort out the details and post a topic about it. For now, let's just decide and discuss the possibility.

I suggest a parody game, because it's my RM bread and butter, but I'm not adverse to something serious.

RTP would be familiar and easy for everyone to use, but we could also just make a new "RTP" to use, maybe something Dragon Quest-ish?

Thoughts, comments, interest? Post away!

EVENT: Quilting Time! Round 2

This time, we will be drawing on a blank canvas. (this is K-hos's idea!) Instead of a pre-determined quilt square or whatever, you can draw WHEREVER YOU WANT. You can also draw as much as you want--though leave lots of room for other people. Don't be greedy for space!
The Rules:
-Images must be pixelled... don't copy-paste images. If you have made original sprites recently, feel free to use those.
-Do not damage another artist's work. Please refrain from altering someone else's work! You can only make alterations by adding on to other art. Don't change their lines or draw over them.
-Post your version of the mural on this thread.
-This is turn-based. So shout out a slot number to draw in, and you will have a week to do your addition.

Theme:
Winter Wonderland! Anything wintery! Snowmen, skiing, snowball fights, ice castles... whatever!

THE MURAL



Turn Sheet:
1. TheDigitalMonk COMPLETE!
2. Tardis COMPLETE!
3. Craze COMPLETE!
4. Despite COMPLETE!
5. Black Magechill COMPLETE!
6. Dudesoft COMPLETE!
7. Lennon COMPLETE!
8. JosephSeraph COMPLETE!
9. oh_no_im_melting COMPLETE!
10. Geodude COMPLETE!
11. Pokemaniac COMPLETE!
12. Tardis COMPLETE!
13. Dudesoft
14. Despite
15. ldida1
16. Lennon
17.
18.
*You will have a week -at max- to finish your square. The sooner you finish, the better for all of us!*